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WIP Harry Potter and the Alchemist's Apprentice by Elvenlaughter -- (T)

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by e1, Sep 8, 2008.

  1. e1

    e1 Third Year

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
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    Location:
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    Title: Harry Potter and the Alchemist's Apprentice
    Author: Elvenlaughter
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure
    DLP Category: Timetravel
    Pairing: ?
    Chapters: 26
    Words: 103,926
    Updated: Oct 16, 2014
    Published: May 9, 2008

    Status: WIP

    Summary:

    James and Lily Potter struggle to protect their family in 1981, while twenty years in the future, their only son fights to end the war that has come close to consuming his life. AU, DH disregarded.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4246896/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Alchemists_Apprentice

    NOTE : Yes, I am aware that there is another fic posted in this site with the same title. Let me assure you -- this fic is NOT kmfrank's work.

    If you enjoy well-written timetravel fics that employ very plausible and logical mechanics, this is one you must read. Only seven chapters so far - but do not be fooled by the length! This kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time! Definitely has the potential to turn into an epic...


    Checked by Minion, August 3, 2015
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2015
  2. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    The writing is pretty good. For what it's worth, I thought the Marauders dynamic was handled well. Prologue was kind of alarming, very short and comprised entirely of dialogue, but it was a false alarm.

    I wasn't on the edge of the seat till the most recent chapter though. The time travel was predictable, which did plenty to kill the tension the author might have built up.

    Hopefully this will focus on Harry more - either him or James Potter, whose characterization I really liked - now that the author's dispensed with the opening.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2008
  3. ZanyMuggle

    ZanyMuggle Third Year

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    Texas, USA
    I wouldn't call it epic, but I would call it worthwhile. 3.97845 / 5.
     
  4. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    High Score:
    4,500
    This fic is one of those guilty pleasure for me I guess. I thought the characterization was superb, and really quite believable. Nothing much has really happened plot wise, but it failed to bring out the whole angst warning, even though it contained some.

    I really really enjoyed this.

    5/5 for me. (Guilty pleasure, as I said)
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2008
  5. Yume Deli

    Yume Deli First Year

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    The non-country
    There's not enough written to really give it a rating (we don't even know the whole plan yet). So for now it shows promise though I'm going to wait a bit with rating it.
     
  6. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    I read this one earlier. It's not the most original idea but it's handled in a slightly more original way.

    Some of the drama is handled well but sometimes the author tries too hard to make every response epically emotional anguish. And extrapolating the next week or so could just push the angst to annoying levels. (They've got to switch secret keepers I assume and then leave Sirius and Remus believing they're dead? I don't know how much more of James' tears I can take.)

    A lot of times it's fics like this one that make me appreciate the calm temperament of Worfe's Timely Errors even more.

    But it does have the added intrigue of Unmentionable!James' project, Harry's unstated friend/partner, and of course the whole Alchemist's Apprentice concept. Overall, I'd probably agree it's better than average but I could see it getting worse just as easily as it could get better.

    It's probably about a 3.5/5 for me at the moment, but I doubt it'll stay there. Just can't tell if it's going to go up or go down.
     
  7. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    I read a couple of chapters and I couldn't make myself continue.

    The lead up to Harry's big reveal was... tedious... to put it mildly (I was skipping over huge sections of text, which is never a good sign). Not only that, it didn't seem like anybody was behaving rationally.

    James: "Everybody take off, I've decided that the mysterious stranger is alright. There's no chance that I'm under Imperius or anything."
    Remus and Lily: "Cool."
    Sirius: "The fuck?"
    Everybody (to Sirius): "Just fuck off now, m'kay?"
    Sirius: "Alright then."

    No rating, since it might just not be to my personal taste.
     
  8. peregrine1989

    peregrine1989 Third Year

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    May 26, 2008
    Messages:
    82
    Not a bad story. The way that Sirius, Lily and Remus all trust the figure 'Jack,' on just James word is a bit over the top as I would have expected them to be far more difficult. However In saying that the story is not a bad fic. I don't like time Travel fics as a rule and this made me consider not reviewing it twice. However it is worth the read, as long as you don't mind drama to much.

    3/5, however I recognize that if I liked Time travel fics it may have gotten a higher score.
     
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