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Abandoned Tipsy Time Travel Tale by Yunaine - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Burn, Nov 17, 2008.

  1. Burn

    Burn Second Year

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    United States
    Title: Tipsy Time Travel Tale
    Author: Yunaine
    Rating: T
    Genre: Humor/Adventure
    DLP Category: Time Travel
    Pairing: Eventually HP/LL
    Chapters: 2
    Words: 17,217
    Updated: November 16, 2008
    Published: October 14, 2008
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: Harry gets dragged back in time to change the future. He has no intention of taking anything lying down again and decides to have some fun.
    Link (Sorry!): http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4594972/1/Tipsy_Time_Travel_Tale

    So I searched for this, but cannot find it on DLP so I therefore present it to you all for consideration. It has so far stood out among the cliché-filled time travel tales I've read previously. While it is above-average, it's definitely not a legendary story. It is a good read, however.

    I reserve judgement on rating until at least one more chapter is added.


    Checked by Minion, January 1, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2013
  2. della_couer

    della_couer Second Year

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    A link would be nice, you know, so we can read it.
     
  3. AntiChrist

    AntiChrist Professor

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  4. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    I like the humor in this, the pairing is good at its already got a decent amount of words. 4/5, but thats probably cuase I am a sucker for time travel, independent harry style.
     
  5. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    ...
    Are you fucking kidding me?

    1/5
    Harry sounds like a whiny fucking teenager talking on the internet.
     
  6. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
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    So, he sounds like you Logrus? I think I'll pass.
     
  7. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    Its a comedy, Harry can be whiny, bitch, angsty, or all the above if the point of the story is to make you laugh.

    Now if this was a hardcore action, then its a different matter all together.
     
  8. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    I didn't even smile.
     
  9. Under_score

    Under_score Second Year

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    Its not too bad. It has sporadic installments of humour and periods where it feels like the author has tried too hard to get a laugh. The execution of the story is not perfect, there are too many scene breaks that disjoint the flow of the story. It needs more substance other than humour is required to keep the story going otherwise it'll get tired.

    There are a few mistakes in spelling and word usage ie. shores/chores. It suggests that the author hasn't read over her work.

    I'll tentatively rate this a 2/5 because of these problems and short comings.
     
  10. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
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    That was a lot of fun. I ended up spending the afternoon reading all Yunaine's works at FFnet. I had a great time. I just hope "Tipsy Time Travel Tale" continues to be so much fun.
    It's light entertainment.

    4/5
     
  11. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Anyone else seeing two chapters worth of 18k words and not the specified 40k?
     
  12. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    40k is the estimated final length. Anyway, off to read now...
     
  13. Anme

    Anme Professor

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    A bit funny sometimes but nothing special. 2/5
     
  14. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    It was just...meh. 2.5/5
     
  15. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    This actually made me smile in a few places. A pleasant surprise. I was expecting to come back here and completely trash it. Only annoying thing is seer!Luna.

    4/5.
     
  16. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I've read more than a few Harry goes back to screw ppl fics and found them boring. I'm also not a fan of Harry/Luna.

    Yet I enjoyed this quite a bit. By not getting mired in recreating every last scene from the books, Yunaine has done a spiffy job with this story. Plus I find it funny.

    4/5
     
  17. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    A bit over the top stylistically, but it has some pretty good sequences. The potions class has to be my favourite by far! Writing is solid, and the characterisation enjoyable for the most part.

    4/5
     
  18. Kerrus

    Kerrus DA Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
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    4/5


    There are parts that are a little bit stale, but other then that it's solid and has me laughing steadily through. Hoping to see more soon.
     
  19. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    There are a lot of worse reads than this and it seems to have a good update rate.
     
  20. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    I found this fairly funny myself. I actually found this a day or so before OP put it in here. I was thinking of doing it, but he/she beat me to it. Oh well. I found it funny. 4/5 from me so far.
     
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