1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete Mysteries by Natasha Vloyski - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Israfel, Feb 19, 2006.

  1. Israfel

    Israfel First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
    Messages:
    26
    Title: Mysteries
    Author: Natasha Vloyski
    Rating: T
    Genre: General/Suspense
    Status: Complete
    Summary: Completed!Harry has just returned from Hogwarts following the death of Sirius. He's learned about the task that lies ahead. Who will be there to help, can someone help? or will he face the Dark Lord alone? Holds to cannon, no slash. Reviews are welcome.
    Link: http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/natasha_vloyski/mysteries.html
    FFN Link: Mysteries

    Amazing fic, the plot is well developed and thought out ahead of time, good characterization, good OC's, and one of the coolest most original skills that I've come across so far. All her other works are highly recommended as well. Snape heavily involved with lots of time spent training (not under Snape).
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 18, 2009
  2. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    I tried reading one of her stories, but she puts too much emphasis on Hermione and Snape, while Harry is talentless lazy-arse getting dragged along for the ride... I think that was her other post-OOTP story - "chess game" or something like that.

    But I admit that her writing style is rather good (if a little too much introspective). I just might give this a try.
     
  3. Israfel

    Israfel First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
    Messages:
    26
    I too sometimes find her stuff a little hard to read just because she seems to love Snape and gives him a major role in most of her stories, whereas I hate Snape with a passion, so obviously there is some conflict there. But if you can put aisde your unabiding hatred of Snape (or if you actually like that worm of a man) then it's worth the read as it's very original and rather well written. I haven't read "Chess Game" so I can't comment on that.
     
  4. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    I looked up the fic that i've tried to read. The real name:

    Wizard's Chess
    The final epic adventure of Harry. This follows cannon and is meant to be the final book. For another story of magnificent caliber, read The Seventh Soul, now complete. Please review when you read a fanfiction. It inspires the author to keep writing. Happ
    Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25754 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 1-16-06 - Published: 12-26-05

    Anyway, some cool details and very good start, but very soon Harry was reunited with Ron and Hermione, after which he pretty much became secondary character, once again letting Hermione do all the thinking for him.
     
  5. Israfel

    Israfel First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
    Messages:
    26
    Hmm, you should try this one then, it has Hermione as a relatively main character and I think it's H/Hr (I haven't read it in over a year) but we don't see her very often and it's defintiely Harry-centric, though Snape gets the spotlight once too often later in the story for my tastes, but I can deal with that. Oh and at times Harry acts like a complete moron and has some pretty stupid dialogue, but those are pretty rare.
     
  6. Mrriddler

    Mrriddler High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2005
    Messages:
    538
    Location:
    Somewhere high, somewhere low and somewhere in bet
    NuuuUUuuu, eh, I'll see if I can give it a shot later.
     
  7. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Messages:
    559
    Location:
    Englandshire
    High Score:
    5,725
    i jsut couldn't seem to get into this fic, decently written but not particularly captivating
     
  8. bornagainpenguin

    bornagainpenguin DLP Archivist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Messages:
    780
    Location:
    Illinois
    The link here is also dead. There are five chapters over at Fition Alley,
    here: http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/natasha_vloyski/mysteries.html
    but the actual story was quite a bit longer on FF.net.... like twenty-one chapters long... I'll be placing that copy in the archive.

    --bornagainpenguin
     
  9. Nytmare

    Nytmare Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2005
    Messages:
    131
    Location:
    Midian Castle
    well, lookey here, another necro!
     
  10. Scrittore

    Scrittore Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2009
    Messages:
    362
    Well there is 5 chapters as posted by Penguin long ago from another site. However, it is no longer on FF.net, so not sure what should be done with this.
     
  11. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Messages:
    6,141
    Gender:
    Male
    Link changed. Please review.
     
  12. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,122
    Location:
    USA
    The fictionalley link (five chapters) works for the index, but the site still isn't allowing any chapters to open. It's been doing that for two weeks. Anybody know what's up?

    At any rate, I found the complete version (21 chapters) of the story on ff.net:

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3490335/1/Mysteries

    EDIT: I read the story, and it's...weird. Mostly in a good way. It's written in a crisp, elegant style, and it introduces a few very intriguing OCs and a new branch of magic. The new branch of magic, called 'forecasting,' requires a little too much suspension of disbelief, and it's used to set up a very contrived confrontation between Harry and Voldemort.

    That said, it's a very well-written story that I recommend just because it's so different from the usual fare. You have to be willing to tolerate a boatload of Snape though.

    3.5/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2009
  13. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,166
    Chapter 1 & 2: I'd have to agree with mike up to this point with the sole exception of 'forecasting', but then I've only seen it used once, and briefly. Granted it doesn't seem so much a new branch as it does a combination of Arithmancy and Divination but... -Shrugs-

    Chapter 3: The butler, Blackmoor, is a nice touch I must say. Fucking creepy, but very, very nice.

    Chapter 4: The witch, Hanna, is a very very touchy person... that didn't come out right, a very... mmm... 'hands on' person, I wonder why Harry is accepting all these hugs and little carresses from her so soon with no appearent discomfort. The Gypsy thing I feel is unnecessery, and I can't see any reason for bringing snape into it when both of the other two claim to be proficient in the dark arts.

    Chapter 6: Make that VERY odd, She's probably twice his age, she's kissing him, and he blushes and wants more? I rather hope this is a demonstration for him about how insidious love potions can be or something.

    The Chess analogies prevalent in Fannon are getting really fucking annoying, even if this one was many many times better than the usual ones.

    PreCog!Harry is going to get on my nerves too if that's what this becomes.

    'Envy Green' isn't a very good color on him either, especially when it's directed at Snape of all people.

    Ya, preCog!Harry is going to start pissing me off in a chapter or two I think. It's just Loner!Harry in a new shell.

    Chapter 7: Ok, I'm liking Hannah more and more. Random nudity FTW!

    -Frowns- Setback... Snape again... And the precog is definately getting annoying. I can see it as an occasional thing, but this isn't DarkHero using all available resources, It's Divination/RedeamedSnape with a big fucking Deus Ex.

    Chapter 8: Ya... childish grudge 'cause Snape got his (and I use the term lightly) women has kinda killed any desire I have to finish this story

    The end of this chapter has finished it. Out of morbid curiosity I'll try one more to see if it's as crappy as it's appearing to be.

    Chapter 9: I am... surprised... to find chapter 8 made almost tolerable by this (very short) chapter.

    I'll finish the rest of it later, suffice to say I'm willing to push on a little more.

    ---------- Post automerged at 01:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:28 AM ----------

    ...Continuing

    Chapter 10: Over-reaction to finding out Snape loved his mother. Disgust I could see, being literally 'Head in the toilet' sick? excessive.

    'Hannah' it seems is something of a hooker... Hmm. it seems I have to revise that, perhaps she's just a very big tease. Does every man she knows get a full mouth kiss I wonder?

    Well, isn't Snape just the fallen angel.

    Chapter 12: -Sniffs- 'Like a brother' eh? -Shakes head- if you say so.

    Chapter 13: The 'Golden Trio' sharing a bed? It sounds like a bad smut fic. Harry it seems left some pretty big stuff out of his calculations.

    Chapter 14: The precog stuff is most definitely getting annoying.

    Hermoine gets to slap snape with no consequences, and there's even a touch of humor in this chapter... Not bad.

    Chapter 15: Hmm... Snape calls her on her apparent need to cuddle every male she comes across.

    Chapter 15: Quite the revelation. Peabody is Harry's {censored} somehow? Interesting indeed.

    Chapter 16: Frowns, wait one damn second...
    How the hell could he be harry's grandfather if his last name is 'peabody'? If he's a wizard? shouldn't he be 'evans'? I can understand if Petunia was born a squib, in fact it makes more sense that she'd be pissed harry's magical if that were the case, but...
    -Frowns- Damn, I was starting to like this story, now this is going to bother me for the rest of it.

    Well, that works as an explanation I suppose. Still seems a little far fetched, but plausible I guess.

    Chapter 17: -Frowns- between this chapter and the last, Harry's now the battle commander and Hermione is giggling..

    Chapter 18: I'm not sure I like this half-gypsy harry, but at least he's dropped the 'precog for daily life' schtik and is only using it as a baseline for big stuff.

    Drunken harry is a win too ^.^

    Chapter 19: Prep day, can't say I'm thrilled with this chapter as it seems like so much filler to me, but I suppose it has it's place. again, not much digging gypsy harry. (Or Hermoine either for that matter)

    It would seem that all magical's have gypsy blood, and of course all speak the language as well.

    20: Excellent, Excellent. This is much more like it. Nice start to the final battle.

    21: -Frowns slightly- That seems like a bit of a cop-out really
    they're tearing it up in their respective animagus forms so lets step in and trap Voldimort half way between his human body and his animagus and then let harry (who is apparently magically exhausted after a two minute (Physical) fight) AK him...

    Mkay, I can see the draw this ending would have for him, but I question if he'd actually do that.

    Wrap up comments:
    Pretty good all in all. I admit that I have very conflicting feelings on this one. On one hand it makes some very good points, has excellent character interactions and is mostly believable. On the other it uses a number of fairly crappy cliche' and turns pretty much the entire cast into gypsy wannabe's by the end. The thing though, the thing that GETS to me, is that Harry's choice at the end is plausible within the context of the story.

    I'd love to hate it, but I can't really do that either, because while it very much stretches my suspension of disbelief, it doesn't snap it all together.

    A cut above average, but not on a whole other level. I'll call it 3.8 and and round up.
    4/5
     
  14. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    Boring as hell. Technically sound but nothing reached out and grabbed me. 3.5/5