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Abandoned The Phoenix and the Serpent by Sanction - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by GERGE, Jan 2, 2009.

  1. GERGE

    GERGE Squib

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Title: The Phoenix and the Serpent
    Author: Sanction
    Rating: T
    Genre: Drama/Adventure
    DLP Category: The Alternate's
    Pairing: Harry/Ginny
    Chapters: 37
    Words: 347,428
    Updated: April 19, 2009
    Published: March 3, 2002
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: Harry goes to a journey to find a weapon against Voldemort.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/637123/1/The_Phoenix_and_the_Serpent

    This one of the best stories I've ever read. And utterly AU. Try it, you will like it.


    Checked by Minion, January 14, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2013
  2. Kerrus

    Kerrus DA Member

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    Oh god, the crossover, it burns.

    Okay, major points.

    1. Ginny. Not my favourite character by any stretch, and the fact that it's a pairing straight up... a bit squiggly. Depending on how strong it is, I may alter my rating for it.

    2. The dialogue. The dialogue is straight up, sensible, and utterly bland. There's little to no character in it, and so far Harry's coming off as persona non grata.

    3. The cliches. They're bad. I could say new and interesting- because to a point they are. Interesting like a trainwreck. I keep reading waiting to see if it gets better.

    4. Grammar/Spelling. It's impeccable. Full marks here, at least. Well. Except for. The. Tendancy. To. Make fragmented. Sentences.


    Eh... cliche, cliche, cliche, new cliche. Still, could be interesting if only it would do something.


    Alright. It's worth reading, but it's not nearly so interesting to get a 5/5- i'd give it a 3/5. Perhaps that'll increase when I get to the newest chapters and everything magically falls into place.

    EDIT: Chapter 4 is the Ginny Special chapter- and you can pretty much skip the entire thing without consequence. It's one giant flashback, you see.

    EDIT2: Chapter five marks the begining of the author's use of open/close quotes “” rather then the normally accepted straight quotes "" that my computer will actually see. As such, the open/close quotes show up as a square box with 00/93 in it, and is really bloody annoying.

    EDIT3: Ooh, okay, that's new. 3.5/5.

    EDIT4: There's a couple ginny chapters- mostly flashbacks. Fortunately, they're entire chapters, so you can just skip them whole and not miss anything important. Other then that, it has picked up, and I'm rather enjoying the fic.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2009
  3. NightFox

    NightFox Seventh Year

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    Honestly, I think it's a pretty decent fic. One should be sure to notice that the original publishing date is back in '02, thus many of the cliches (which there are, but not in quite so terrible use) were relatively original at its onset. It maintains that old-HP feel about it, in a world that is a slight more rosy in design, following organizations and touching on illusioned conspiracies rather than individuals slinging their might around.

    On the plot itself, I've only read up to chapter seven but it's interesting and well written, using a more elevated style than what one would expect from a fic this old. From skimming reviews, I could see the AU-effect becoming a deterrent from reading, as it might spin out of control in complexity, but as prior stated, I've yet to get that far.

    Overall, writing is good, the H/G is tolerable (insofar as my current position, though it might develop to be overly so), and the plot is interesting.

    4/5
     
  4. Kerrus

    Kerrus DA Member

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    I'm up to chapter 17, and while it started off a little roughly, it's matured into a good story. 4/5- I now enjoy reading it.

    It's got a lot of original, or near original material, and my earlier reservations were for naught. Chapter 17 is a Ginny Chapter, but unlike the previous ones it wasn't monogin flashback material, and was actually enjoyable to read. The way the author portrays Ginny is... new, and interesting- she's a real character in this, with real fears, insecurities, and hopes. She's not the rabid fangirl that came out of left field suddenly in book five/six, but a better built character. I'd even go so far as to say that I like this version of Ginny.
     
  5. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Ooooh, that. I read it already, it's been around for so long. And it still has one of the most original take-ons on magic I've seen, still the same level of depth and complexity and still the most drawn-out hiking-through-the-country-arch I know of.

    There are so many things about this story ... I guess it had also one of the greatest back-stories of all times. I remember I loved Dahlia's story when I read it. And the pendant to Moody on Voldemort's side (forgot his name). And Voldemort’s experimental fighters. And every little detail, like the cleft of Grindelwald (I think that was it). And ...

    Well, it's completely different than any fic I know of. It's strange sometimes, even ... so it might not be to anyone's liking. But if you're looking for a real AU and can accept the additions the author made to Canon, it's amazing.


    Oh, and -- as for the H/G, it's barely there. Which I personally feel is a shame, as I liked the somewhat melancholic feel that pervaded the H/G scenes ... what little romance is there is always quiet and unostentatious, never flashy or forced.

    So yeah, some H/G in the first few chapters, but after that, it's all about war and Harry fighting, far away from Ginny, so she's barely in the story.


    4.5/5 from what I remember, but it's been some time -- still, what I'm sure of is that it's one-of-a-kind.
     
  6. GERGE

    GERGE Squib

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    Ginny is a better character in this fic because when this fic came out Ginny were nearly non-existant in the cannon. Ginny is like OC.

    I really liked OCs in the fic. Gallowbraid is interesting, perfect nemesis for Moody (who is also like an OC).

    Chapter 22 is one of the best plot twists of this fandom. Rate it again after that :)
     
  7. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    Hmph. Despite my incredulity, and the rather bland beginning, this story turned out epic. Especially for an '02 story. And for making a H/G story that I can actually stand to read.

    I'll have to say 5/5.
     
  8. Bratling

    Bratling Professor

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    Before I attempt this, what exactly is it a crossover with?
     
  9. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    You guys trying to tell me it wasn't in the Library? Damn. One of the fully awesome old fics. I still remember it.

    Myth-class. 5/5.

    (Though I probably won't like it as much if I try it again after all these years, I suppose...)
     
  10. GERGE

    GERGE Squib

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    This is not a crossover.

    And it is updated just yesterday.
     
  11. Kerrus

    Kerrus DA Member

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    It looked like a crossover at first glance as the first bit I read basically went yadda yadda cimmerian sorceress yadda yadda and I immediately thought of Conan the Barbarian.
     
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    A ton of very impressive points in the story so far, up to chapter 7. Where to start? The important OCs are introduced professionally. The first impressions, the backstory, the personalities, are closer to perfection than anything I can remember.

    I was scoffing at how Sanction tried to build up Danny, the Caracal, by delaying his appearance in the fic. Then when it actually happened I realized it was worth it. Great, fun character.

    The parts with Ginny was exceedingly good writing on bonding.

    And this is the most thought-out portrayal of the war ever. The organization of the Order of the Phoenix, and the Death Eaters is top drawer. Dumbledore's speech as he recognizes the need for a new leader in the Order was epic.

    Harry's search for the Crystal (the MacGuffin itself sounds lame, but the quest is awesome) is equal to the rest of the plot threads. Love the sense of danger and unraveling mysteries, even though I've only read up to the first leg of the journey.

    The fic excels in the little detalis. Like Moody's defense mechanisms, imagining a phantom student working with him as he's investigating a foreboding house. Or Lyle's resistance to the Ministry authorizing its Aurors to use Unforgivable curses. These details are tiny, yet at the same time absolutely huge.

    This is almost like a hypothetical story, the one you always wanted to read but never thought existed. But it does, and it's here. I'm thankful to be reading it.

    Nap the pet niffler is too cool.

    It's humbling to read a story this good. Like Mors said, Myth-class.
     
  13. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

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    There is a Harry/Ginny story here that hasn't been flamed!? -Checks-

    The phoenix war sounds very silly, but the intro is epic.
    The writing is good, the characters are right where they're supposed to be.
    I personally do not like the "Quest for the one thing that'll make me beat this otherwise so much stronger guy" approaches. That includes the Deathly hallows.

    Obviously Harry's no match for Voldemort, but it just feels a bit of an unworthy way for Voldy to bite the dust. But no matter. It'll probably be worth the read anyways.

    4~/5
     
  14. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    currently on a flight to LA and I payed for wifi just so I could keep reading this, I'm 12 chapters in and this is orgasmically good, my only question, is does anyone else know of myth level FICA like this that seem to attempt to stick to canon, hero is great but once you get to Defiance it isn't anything like canon at all anymore, BWL just changes everything to be myth level AND canonistic.

    I started reading novel-fics with Abraxan and it's just too super and bright to kick ass like this, and Ginny sucks there too... So I want to find moar quality.
     
  15. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    ... you could've just dl the story.

    In any case, the best Canon-like story -- if you really want a Canon-like story, à la PoA & co. with school-stuff, mystery and Quidditch -- is in my opinion Neisseria's Rustlings in the Dark. It's an alternative Year 4-story, with new plot (so no TWT), and she's got a knack for writing believable romance and believable 14-year-olds.

    Sadly not finished, which reminds me that I need to bug her again >_>


    Anyway, did anyone try to contact Sanction regarding the status? I fear the vast scope of the story was just too much to ever finish, especially as he was short on time.
     
  16. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    I'll check it out, know of any amazing alternate TWT? TLIL isn't amazing it relies too much on humor.
     
  17. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    Just finished what there is of this, it is without a doubt one of the best pieces of fanfiction I have ever read.
     
  18. Sooner90

    Sooner90 Groundskeeper

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    Ditto the above. Can't believe I have never come across this before. Extremely well written. Excellent characterizations, good action, great OC's, top-notch magic system that builds upon canon without completely demolishing it.

    I can't believe after all that artistry, the author didn't complete it. Another couple of chapters and I think it could be wrapped up.

    5 stars.
     
  19. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    So, I thought to take a page out of Sesc's book and review my favorite story in its own thread. There are so many things to love about this story, it is hard to even list all of them -- the writing is top-notch, the worldbuilding is brilliant, the magic system is complex and magical, the plot is completely and utterly unique in the fandom, the characterizations are amazing and the OCs -- fucking hell, the OCs.....

    Gallowbraid. Lyle. Magnus. Danny. Jamie. Dahlia. Every single one of them an OC, and every single one of them with brilliant, in-depth characterizations with their own rich back-stories. Normally even a a couple of OCs in a fanfic would be too much, but Sanction gets you interested in them from the get go, and it never even matters that they're OCs, because they're better characterized than most canon characters and you're invested in their fates in no time at all.

    Dahlia was mentioned before, but she deserves a special mention of her own. She is the centerpiece of all lore in the story, and is utterly brilliant in her role. Never before has a character been so well characterized in fanfiction. Trust me on that.

    The lore itself is amazing. I will probably remember the story of Dahlia and Volarius as long as I live. Not to mention the whole story behind the Moody/Gallowbraid feud.

    The story as a whole revolves around Harry's quest to obtain the crystal cage, which does not really sound all that impressive at first, but it the journey that makes this story an epic. This is basically the story as Sanction describes it :

    Harry's maturation during the course of the journey is one of the most important themes of the story, takes place in multiple steps and is overall really well portrayed.

    Ginny's own maturation as a character is done really well. The Ginny/Jamie character arc would probably be the best thing in any other story, but here it barely scrapes into the top five. Still very well done though.

    Dumbledore is as every DLPer wishes he would be. Enough said.

    The Moody-Gallowbraid duel was the most innovative duel I've ever read in fanfiction. Sanction did a great job creating a heated rivalry between those two. Same for Danny-Magnus, though to a lesser extent.

    The intros to some of the chapters are epic. This one is probably my favorite:




    Of course, the story isn't completely without flaws. The first 3 or 4 chapters of the story are solid, but still rather bland. There is no real hook for the later chapters, and the writing makes it clear that Sanction was still finding his feet as an author. Fortunately, the chapters five to nine are some of best ever written in fanfiction, and the story becomes a can't-miss from then on.

    If there is one fanfic that deserves the word epic, then this is it. Very few fanfics manage to stand the test of time -- this one has just grown better over the years as it has become clear that in terms of sheer epicness, this story will never, ever be matched.

    Seconded, Thirded and Fourthed. Now I shall Fifth it. Myth class indeed, and one of the greatest stories to ever grace the fandom.

    (Also, ffn.net has formatting problems for a couple of chapters. Try the Sugarquill version for those instead.)
     
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