Looking For An Editor

JordanL · Jan 17, 2009

Hey all. I'm J R LeDoux, and I post on ff.net a bit... I wanted to see if I could get a few people who might be interested to beta for me on "Twice Shy". I've gotten several replies so far, but I'd like to reach to a different audience if possible.

EDIT (added by request):

I wrote personal intruductions in the preface for Twice Shy.

My name is Jordan LeDoux. I’m 21 years old, and about two years ago I read what was one of the best pieces of fanfiction that had ever graced my screen. I am talking, of course, about “Two Halves” by an author we know simply as DameWren.

DameWren began her story in response to a challenge, but as the story came out it turned into much more than simply a response. If I had to pick a single story and call it “definitive”, it would be “Two Halves”. Sadly, as often happens to those who write, and especially to those who write fanfiction, Wren had to make a choice between the stories she told and the things she wanted to do. And in the end, she made the choice that any of us make… that any of us should make… and gave up on her fanfiction.

But stories and characters such as these are rare. It was with a heavy heart that I resigned the trilogy to being left incomplete, for I was certain that too few people such as myself had discovered just how special this story and these characters truly were.

Now, more than two years after “Two Halves” was completed, I have decided that I will take a chance and provide my own interpretation of the rest of the story. While Wren has talked about her displeasure with her own work, I find it refreshing, and I hope that you will find my own work just as exciting.

Upon completing “Two Halves”, I began to envision a sequel and titled it “Three Pieces”, with the end of the trilogy titled “One Whole”. I discovered, however, that Wren had in fact begun her sequel, and had completed three chapters of “Twice Shy”. For this reason, I decided to alter the title of my own sequel to her story and title it “Twice Shy”, posting the three chapters she completed and continuing from there.

I must confess that I was torn between digging up Wren's notes on her story and creating my own to complement it. However... after a bit of deliberation I decided in on crafting my own story line, and proceeded to pull out an old fashioned piece of paper and pencil to draw mind-maps of my characters and their troubles. So as we go forward, please understand this is not the original author's interpretation, it is my own. It is a small respect payed to one great author by an aspiring other.

This story will make little sense if you have not read “Two Halves”. If you have never read it, I cannot recommend it highly enough. “Two Halves” is the kind of story that makes children and teenagers want to grow up to be an author… it’s the sort of story that can actually impact you.

You will find “Two Halves” in its entirety posted in my profile, unedited and unaltered. I will complete this story, “Twice Shy”, and will then determine whether or not I will go ahead with my own conclusion, “One Whole”.

And so, here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

J. R. LeDoux

PS: After a few messages I've received in regards to usage of Japanese, I'd like to say a few things. Someone pointed out that the phrase "ja ne", which is somewhat translitteral to the English phrase "Later", is only used by girls. This is false. "Ja ne" is a cutesy sort of way of saying goodbye, yeah, but it is by no means used only by girls. It's usually only used by younger kids, but both genders. It does get used quite a bit, inappropriately, by fanfic authors, because a lot of fanfic authors cling to anything Japanese they can. Fortunately, I've taken Japanese... I've actually been to Japan. I enjoy and immerse myself in more than their anime, but also much of the rest of their culture. Any "mistakes" in Japanese speach that I make are almost assuredly on purpose. And I used "ja ne", despite the fact that I'm not really a "younger kid", on purpose.

Japanese phrases in the story will be used for reader clarity. I will add them or use them as I feel is appropriate to give my readers a better understanding and feel for what is happenning, and because most readers are not very familiar with the actual language, sometimes it will bring greater clarity for me to purposefully write something that is "wrong" in Japanese, but conveys the meaning better to readers. Let's all focus on enjoying the story, eh?
Click to expand...

Here's the link, for those interested. I wanted to avoid spamming the board with my story. (Or interpretation of the story I suppose.)

Glernaj · Jan 18, 2009

Wrong subforum, this should be in the Fanfic Discussion forum. That said, it strikes me as a bit odd that you're writing a fanfiction continuation of another fanfiction.

D.S. · Jan 18, 2009

Introduce yourself first, at least. You should've done that before doing anything.

Unless, of course, you like getting roasted. I'm surprised no one has yet actually...

Iztiak · Jan 18, 2009

Give me a link, so I can read what you've got so far, and I'll think about it.

I'm not the best, but I should be able to catch some basic stuff.

Glernaj · Jan 18, 2009

D.S. said: ↑

Introduce yourself first, at least. You should've done that before doing anything.

Unless, of course, you like getting roasted. I'm surprised no one has yet actually...
Click to expand...

Meh, his post wasn't stupid enough to set off my flame'o'meter.

JordanL · Jan 18, 2009

Glernaj said: ↑

Wrong subforum, this should be in the Fanfic Discussion forum. That said, it strikes me as a bit odd that you're writing a fanfiction continuation of another fanfiction.
Click to expand...

Why?

DameWren gave up the story, and specifically stated that anyone could finish it. And I'm appalled at the current state of Naruto fanfiction...

Sorry about the wrong sub-forum thing... I'll be sure to remember that.

Introduce yourself first, at least. You should've done that before doing anything.

Unless, of course, you like getting roasted. I'm surprised no one has yet actually...
Click to expand...

I wrote personal intruductions in the preface for Twice Shy...

My name is Jordan LeDoux. I’m 21 years old, and about two years ago I read what was one of the best pieces of fanfiction that had ever graced my screen. I am talking, of course, about “Two Halves” by an author we know simply as DameWren.

DameWren began her story in response to a challenge, but as the story came out it turned into much more than simply a response. If I had to pick a single story and call it “definitive”, it would be “Two Halves”. Sadly, as often happens to those who write, and especially to those who write fanfiction, Wren had to make a choice between the stories she told and the things she wanted to do. And in the end, she made the choice that any of us make… that any of us should make… and gave up on her fanfiction.

But stories and characters such as these are rare. It was with a heavy heart that I resigned the trilogy to being left incomplete, for I was certain that too few people such as myself had discovered just how special this story and these characters truly were.

Now, more than two years after “Two Halves” was completed, I have decided that I will take a chance and provide my own interpretation of the rest of the story. While Wren has talked about her displeasure with her own work, I find it refreshing, and I hope that you will find my own work just as exciting.

Upon completing “Two Halves”, I began to envision a sequel and titled it “Three Pieces”, with the end of the trilogy titled “One Whole”. I discovered, however, that Wren had in fact begun her sequel, and had completed three chapters of “Twice Shy”. For this reason, I decided to alter the title of my own sequel to her story and title it “Twice Shy”, posting the three chapters she completed and continuing from there.

I must confess that I was torn between digging up Wren's notes on her story and creating my own to complement it. However... after a bit of deliberation I decided in on crafting my own story line, and proceeded to pull out an old fashioned piece of paper and pencil to draw mind-maps of my characters and their troubles. So as we go forward, please understand this is not the original author's interpretation, it is my own. It is a small respect payed to one great author by an aspiring other.

This story will make little sense if you have not read “Two Halves”. If you have never read it, I cannot recommend it highly enough. “Two Halves” is the kind of story that makes children and teenagers want to grow up to be an author… it’s the sort of story that can actually impact you.

You will find “Two Halves” in its entirety posted in my profile, unedited and unaltered. I will complete this story, “Twice Shy”, and will then determine whether or not I will go ahead with my own conclusion, “One Whole”.

And so, here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

J. R. LeDoux

PS: After a few messages I've received in regards to usage of Japanese, I'd like to say a few things. Someone pointed out that the phrase "ja ne", which is somewhat translitteral to the English phrase "Later", is only used by girls. This is false. "Ja ne" is a cutesy sort of way of saying goodbye, yeah, but it is by no means used only by girls. It's usually only used by younger kids, but both genders. It does get used quite a bit, inappropriately, by fanfic authors, because a lot of fanfic authors cling to anything Japanese they can. Fortunately, I've taken Japanese... I've actually been to Japan. I enjoy and immerse myself in more than their anime, but also much of the rest of their culture. Any "mistakes" in Japanese speach that I make are almost assuredly on purpose. And I used "ja ne", despite the fact that I'm not really a "younger kid", on purpose.

Japanese phrases in the story will be used for reader clarity. I will add them or use them as I feel is appropriate to give my readers a better understanding and feel for what is happenning, and because most readers are not very familiar with the actual language, sometimes it will bring greater clarity for me to purposefully write something that is "wrong" in Japanese, but conveys the meaning better to readers. Let's all focus on enjoying the story, eh?
Click to expand...

So... there you go...

Give me a link, so I can read what you've got so far, and I'll think about it.

I'm not the best, but I should be able to catch some basic stuff.
Click to expand...

Here you go. I wanted to avoid spamming the board with my story.

Random Shinobi · Jan 18, 2009

Wasn't "Two Halves" a fic where Naruto and Hinata get apprenticed under an OC called "Sora" or something? Although I did like the fic when I read it a few years back, I would probably hate it if I read it again. There are too many OCs and the Naruto/Hinata pre-teen romace in the fic reeks of Soul-Bond...

I don't know what people here think of Naruto/Hinata pairing, but I'm fairly certain that you won't find what you are looking for from DLP. Try TFF.

JordanL · Jan 18, 2009

Random Shinobi said: ↑

Wasn't "Two Halves" a fic where Naruto and Hinata get apprenticed under an OC called "Sora" or something? Although I did like the fic when I read it a few years back, I would probably hate it if I read it again. There are too many OCs and the Naruto/Hinata pre-teen romace in the fic reeks of Soul-Bond...

I don't know what people here think of Naruto/Hinata pairing, but I'm fairly certain that you won't find what you are looking for from DLP. Try TFF.
Click to expand...

Ah. Well, perhaps people here won't like it until I get through the second arc then. Things don't generally fall apart in the first chapter of a story.

That said, I understand your point. I have WAFF fics myself...

EDIT:

"Two Halves" was more of an adventure fic though, and had a much larger focus as a character study on Naruto than on the NaruHina couple...

Mrriddler · Jan 18, 2009

Hey, I would try spamming the beta reader listing on ff.net as well and pick the ones with better than kindergarden English skills. You shouldn't have much problem since your story is fairly mainstream I think.

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