Dimension Hopping for Beginners by nonjon - M

[nonjon]

Title: Dimension Hopping for Beginners
Author: nonjon
Rating: M
Genre: Parody/Action/Adventure
Pairing: None (sort of)
Status: WIP
Summary: In the heat of the battle, he swore a blood oath to defeat Voldemort in every form. But when you factor in his understanding and abilities to travel to alternate dimensions, it presented the sort of problem only a Harry Potter could have.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2829366/1/

Here's the finished version I'm posting.

[I LOVE GINNY]

Sweet.

[Ranku]

Very nice. I look forward to the rest of them--someone finally got to do what we all want to. I always wanted to hit Harry upside the head for thinking about Ginny when there was a psycho killing people out there that was his responsibility to stop. Good job, nonjon.

[Niffler Lord]

I just wanted to hit Harry for thinking of Ginny period.

[Dark Syaoran]

Great stuff nonjon.

[Ranku]

The second chapter of this story is up on nonjon's yahoo group, and I'd like to be the first to say I was.. very disturbed. I know where you got the idea of for the second world, of course, but I never read the itself. Good writer or not, I won't touch it with a 10 foot pole. Anyways, extreme well done, and I nearly spit my coke when I got to a couple parts.

The first world is combines everything that alot of those types of stories usually use... oh god. I just had a horrible thought. You aren't going to do a Severitus world, are you. Or a slash one? Right. Because you aren't that cruel.. are you?

The thought is too horrible, and thus I must cut off this post. Good job nonjon, truelly worthy of my mouthful of coke I choked on.


P.S.: I fully expect you to reimburse me for that coke, buddy. :)

[Xiph0]

First Chapter: Brilliant plot-bunny and very smoothly executed, well done Nonjon.

[nonjon]

Yeah, I needed to establish early on that A.K. isn't shy about eradicating an entire world's existence. Now when he kills annoying people indiscriminately, it won't seem near as bad being just a few people.

And I know it's not a large genre but I'm pretty sure there's more than just one fic involving ballet. Didn't mean to attack any one in particular, but it was easier than a generic 'muggle' high school. And I've only ever read a summary that says 'ballet', never the fic. Because I know nothing good will ever come of clicking that link. At best, it's a romance fic. Which is another way of saying, at least in my tastes for fanfic, "At best, you'll want to shoot yourself in the head."

And yes, there will be a Harry/Draco slash world (same chapter as the Harem!Harry world). And yes, there will be a Severitus!Harry world. But have a little faith in me. I fully intend to treat both of those worlds with all of the respect and kindness they deserve. I mean, I'm nonjon! What am I if not respectful and kind?

[Aura]

I mean, I'm nonjon! What am I if not respectful and kind?

*snickers* Yeah right. I'm sure you'll be playing all of the genres out there. Great story. I found that scene with Luna hilarious!

[oldmagic]

:lol: shit there funny. so far there are only harry that likese ginny and hermoiney.

why don't you visit get A.K. to visit other harry's from the world of fanfiction instead of making one up from your own. it will be alot easer.

[nonjon]

:lol: shit there funny. so far there are only harry that likese ginny and hermoiney.

why don't you visit get A.K. to visit other harry's from the world of fanfiction instead of making one up from your own. it will be alot easer.

Err... what am I doing now that's different from that?

For a moment I'd considered having him visit actual specific fanfic's worlds. I wanted him to meet up with like Wishweaver's 'Sparky' or the-dreamer4's 'Magus Harry' and get them to get their asses in gear and hurry up. But I decided to skip specifics and just hit the generic sorts of fanfic worlds, like Severitus!Harry, super!Harry, muggle!Harry, Azkaban!Harry, etc...

And for the record, the known pairings Harrys (that A.K. meets in this fic) will have are Ginny, Hermione, Draco, Luna, Bellatrix, and one with a harem of... well. That one I'll leave a surprise for now. I didn't have the patience to try and hit them all.

[ip82]

I loved the harem!Harry. The best part was when Molly stepped in - hillarious! Photo album thing was great too.

I just didn't understand that Arthur joke; but then again, I've never read a single marriage contract story (I've only ever seen summaries), so I guess it's maybe from one of them?

[nonjon]

Well, Mr. Intel has a fic entitled "The Bargain" about Arthur Weasley and James Potter being attacked by Death Eaters and sort of striking a deal to get their kids betrothed. It wasn't exactly intended and I don't think James was being too serious at the time, but it happened. I haven't read the fic, but I've heard it's decent (even among those who aren't rabid harry/ginny shippers).

That fic was undoubtedly one of the inspirations for how I managed to give Harry a harem. And considering, every other "parent" to the harem ladies is unknown, I just kept giving them the name "Arthur". I mean we don't know the name of Susan, Luna, Daphne, Parvati & Padma's dads. So I just borrowed Ginny's dad's name to perhaps hint towards the inevitable James locked in a cell with Arthur Weasley. But I thought a little comparison and reminder of how similar doing Molly would be to doing Narcissa, as well as just being plain mean to Ginny, was too good an opportunity to pass up.

And strangely Harry/Narcissa is vastly more popular than Harry/Molly. Even though Ron-bashing is as common nearly as Draco-bashing. And I'd think Arthur could be bought off with a decent set of muggle kitchen appliances.

Just makes you think next time you're reading a Harry/Narcissa fic. :twisted:

[ip82]

And I'd think Arthur could be bought off with a decent set of muggle kitchen appliances.

Well, he's practically married to one :-)

Just makes you think next time you're reading a Harry/Narcissa fic.

Oh great, thanks a lot for the picture... I just imagine Harry stripping Narcissa down and seeing a lable on her knickers "Ferret has been here first"...

[nonjon]

Oh great, thanks a lot for the picture... I just imagine Harry stripping Narcissa down and seeing a lable on her knickers "Ferret has been here first"...

I'd think it'd be more like "Ferret came shooting out of here when it was swollen and bloody and looked more like someone was squeezing a tube of juicy fetus paste."

And then those scars she tries to hide make more sense too. And the unmistakable hints of cottage cheese. (Oh like a rich pureblood wife works out to keep in shape. Yeah... that seems likely.)

[Sree]

Oh god, nonjon, Molly Weasley? That's horrible. Just horrible. But I still liked it, especially Daphne with the edible underwear. Great! :)

[nonjon]

I just like the idea that she makes as much sense as Narcissa does.

And come on... if Ginny was your other choice...

We know at least one of the redheads can cook and clean. :]

[ip82]

Not to meantion you get more Weasley live weight for the same price. :-)

[Nymph]

Oh that was great! Not my favourite dimention, but very good still.

I'm glad that A.K. didn't kill both Harry and Voldemort in one go. I mean one can only have so much power.

Keep up the good work and update soon.

[Aura]

:O_O: Molly Weasley? I had to read that line three times to make sure i was reading it right. It had me laughing out of my seat a few seconds later. Really, that was unexpected... Funny chapter nonetheless! :D

[noddwyd]

cool beans. It's hilarious reading all the reviews when I read most of this before it reached ffn. One person in particular was questioning how you were updating so quickly. Answer: why, magic of course!

Also someone did bring up an interesting question about having a world with Harriet Potter rather than Harry, but I think you mentioned you were doing the twin thing so maybe that's a bit much doing both.

[nonjon]

Err... sorry. There's no twin, or actually what I'd started wasn't twin but younger sister is thought to be Girl-Who-Lived. Scrapped it after a few hundred words because it wasn't interesting me.

All that's left are tomorrow's Azkaban!Harry chapter and then the final chapter. Final chapter Monday... I hope. I've been slacking on finishing it. Got a couple thousand words. And after a number of reviews, I've decided there may be a mention of female!Harry. But not a complete world or anything.

[Niffler Lord]

This has become my number one story now.

[That_Boy]

Azkaban Harry was cool. Wish it was going to be longer but it could get tired after a while and cutting it off soon makes sense. Good work though

[Rain]

I absolutely adored the azkaban dimension. (which adds a forbodding tint to any idea that I might update my own cliche Azkaban ficcy anytime soon) I would have had plenty of great things to say and witty comments, but FF.net wasn't allowing me to review so.. this is what'cha get.

While it depresses me a little to think that there is only one chapter left, I'm sure my face will turn red from all the laughing I won't even remember it is the last chapter until days later. Which, coincidentaly, I would have sent my review in already and you wouldn't know about that effect.

That is, if I hadn't just told you, of course. ;) Thanks for the laugh. It's very appreciated.

[nonjon]

Actually, I've been struggling on this last chapter. I had several things I was intending to throw in, but I keep cutting them out.

Like A.K. picks up a protege and they check out the interdimensional locker room where 267 other dimension hoppers keep their dirty laundry. And the stuff that's not safe for any world. But that seems scrapped. And I've wavered on how much back story to give A.K. Or even how much of his own world he remembers. We're over 500 worlds now. All the people and places would blend together.

Dunno. Struggling to get it to be a clean succint ending point for a truly never-ending premise. May just post the last chapter as it exists now, and call it a day. If I don't get any bright ideas then the last chapter will be up on schedule tonight. But if it's not, then that's a good sign because I actually got an idea on a better way to finish it.

As for Azkaban!Harry, that's a concept that's been parodied enough, as far as the "betrayals" and getting your comeuppance bashing the former friends before often forgiving them for no real reason. So my plan was to simply get him the hell out before there was even that sort of situation.

Thanks for the comments folks.

[Sree]

lmao, I loved the last Azkaban chapter. Him staying there two weeks, killing off Ron (even though I like him), and the whole getting powerful for no reason. Ah, loved it.

[ip82]

The ending, eh? Well, here are two possible endings:

1) AK kills all the Voldemorts and completes his quest.

You can do this with something like Matrix the Architect thingie... He meets this god-like thing that was once Voldemort and make him a deal...

Or AK sends to all Voldemorts in multiverse invitations to the First Anual Inter-Dimensional Evil-Overlord Congress (we have cookies)... and then blows up the whole universe with them in it...

...Or riling them up one against each other by convincing them that their power will increase with each double they destroy (like in movie The One).

2) AK spends ethernety hunting Voldemorts.

Do the omakes like in You Did What: AK Junior killing his first Voldemort, with his daddy patting him on the head etc... stuff like that.

[That_Boy]

Just thought, you could have a massive battle between AK and a voldemort who has sworn to kill every Harry Potter

[nonjon]

Well, a massive battle doesn't really happen as Harry Potters sort of have a hold on policing the dimensions simply because they don't want to rule the world. A Voldemort with desires to rule the world and be god, would have problems with other worlds. He needs his recognition and the fear his presence commands. And an infinite number of separate and unrelated worlds would throw a kink having to reintroduce himself as Dark God everywhere he went.

IP's second option about A.K. spending eternity hunting Voldies, has always been the plan. And the story does end as A.K. jr gets his dimension hopping cherry popped.

No omakes for me, as basically you could just do new worlds as omakes. And my muse has been abused just finishing this.

Re-read and edited the last chapter a bit more. It's just we're sort of closing a chapter on A.K.'s existence up to this point by adding in a number 2, but also opening up a new one as he'll have a friend sort of for the first time. But in doing so, it doesn't feel like an end to one story and start of a next. More of just a turn in the story. Struggling to make it feel like the 'end' of a story. Maybe I'll flesh out their dialogue a bit more. Oh well. It'll get its last read-through and posting tonight, I'm 99% certain.

[Rukri]

heh great story. Hope you keep up the great work and bringing out these great fic's

[ip82]

I liked the final chapter. Deuce is cool character and just the right way to end the story, while leaving it open in a way. I also liked your hint about AK and boot camp - I can't help but wonder if he once a pussy cutter too?

As for the fic as whole, it's probably the best multi-dimension story in Potterverse - way better than that Lone Traveller thing. Compared to your other work, only Where in the world triology is better than this, while Lovegood is a bit worse IMO (never liked that story as much as other people did).

[That_Boy]

Good work. It had to end somewhere and that was a nice place.
You're going to do a HP/Firefly Xover? Awesome. Got to read that

[nonjon]

Yeah, HP/Firefly is where my muse has been idling waiting on me to finish this up.

I intentionally left this wide open to sequels. Once I store up enough anger and frustrations about other cliches or genres worthy of mocking and parodying, I expect I will write another dozen or so worlds, with a bit more plot development of A.K. as well as Deuce. But that will be a sequel with a beginning and ending, all the while still not really greatly effecting the eternal never-ending background storyline of the main characters lives. If I ever get the desire to write it.

Right now, my interest in Harry Potter fanfic has been waning with the sheer massive amounts of bad cliched fanfic saturating so much of what's out there. It's at the point where the good authors aren't really doing much terribly original, they're just rehashing a few plot ideas and points that others have done before, and they're doing it better than before (i.e., S'Tarkan or Bobmin).

I'm sure I'll have more ideas later but throwing a nice likeable Harry onto the spaceship Serenity is now the plan. I think that fic is going to be written over a long period of time without my usual rush of updates. Give it a dozen or so chapters to get going before I'll let my attention be split towards another bunny that's bugging me.

Probably the other bunny that's been sitting back on a backburner for a long time is an insane!Harry fic. Not sure I've any interest in writing it, but it could be fun. Not so much dark or evil, but just insane. Not zany fun, well maybe a little zany fun, but mainly sociopathic destruction.

[ip82]

Probably the other bunny that's been sitting back on a backburner for a long time is an insane!Harry fic. Not sure I've any interest in writing it, but it could be fun. Not so much dark or evil, but just insane. Not zany fun, well maybe a little zany fun, but mainly sociopathic destruction.

If anyone could write this, it's you. Sounds great.

[Dark Syaoran]

Insane!Harry.... that sounds lovely. :D

[nonjon]

Yeah, if anyone else wants to write this, be my guest, or tell me if it's been done before or sounds familiar. I don't particularly have a strong desire to write this, it's just one of those ideas that I'd like to see someone do. But I'll probably eventually do myself if no one else does.

The Insane!Harry idea sort of sprung while reading feanor's Love and Betrayal. Veela!Draco is a possible impetus, but the general gist of it is that for some reason Dumbledore is forced to put into effect some ancient laws about thralls of a prophecy. How they lose their rights and freedoms and are obligated to society. Taking steps to control the human element of the subject of a prophecy. Harry's not a big fan of it, and tries to fight it, and then, maybe the Ministry in its infinite wisdom, (or maybe Dumbledore and the Order) tries to control Harry's will. Of course they can't, but here's where it gets fun: the thralls of a prophecy lose all their rights and freedoms, but they also lose all their responsibilities. Like obeying the law. Or not killing people or things that annoy you. Could slip into a feral!Harry, or just a ridiculously manipulative and nutters Harry. One who sees Death Eaters attacking and steps to the side and waves them on. But if one of them looks at Harry funny, he may kill them all viciously. Sometimes hyper, sometimes lucid. Sometimes the most dangerous killer in existence, sometimes pretending to be a first year, just so he can do better in class. But he'd waver between how nutters he really is, how much of the old Harry there is. While he loses all the rights and things we take for granted, while they just want to keep him locked up until they can thrust him into battle with the Dark Lord.

It's an old idea, (post-OotP) but could easily be adapted for a post-HBP world. Just the Ministry discovering the prophecy, and doing stupid things.

Trying to remember what else I'd considered because I can tell I'm forgetting something as I try to describe it. But the idea was Harry becomes a thrall loses all rights, responsibilities, and inhibitions. I'd say arson at the Daily Prophet on day one is a possibility. His friends may have to try and convince Harry to help out against Voldemort because he simply doesn't care.

[Ginny Killer 2.0]

just finished reading it. very very funny even more so then that one askaban parody

[noddwyd]

heheh. I just keep picturing the locker room with the 42 Harry's, and Deuce getting shown around by their leader!Harry on his first day. Or as A.K. refers to him, Idiot # 1.

[ChuckDaTruck]

Very funny. I liked the ending. The locker is a good idea.

I like the idea of A.K. running into a cracked out cokehead Harry.

[I LOVE GINNY]

Nice. Dang! Now you have me hungry for some Time/dimension travel. Hmm. . . I might have to write out a plot bunny or something.

[DarthBill]

This fic was great. It had a serious atmosphere in the beginning, but that just made it funnier. Also, I like your idea for insane!Harry. I can't think of anyone who hasn't wished that the law didn't apply to them. Definate potential.

[MrINBN]

Any chance of "Advanced Dimension Hopping"? Here's hoping!

[radioactive]

excrept from nonjon's FF.net profile:
Future projects:
A sequel to Dimension Hopping for Beginners is unscheduled but highly likely.
:)

[Dreakon]

I had to give this one a 5-star rating. Excellent story!

[Zoopsa]

Truly a gem among HP fanfics. Excellent, and spoofs most of the genres to boot.

[[KS18]Raziel44]

cool story funny a little but not much

[Memory King]

5/5, made of pure win! I really liked how you mocked all those crappy clichés. Looking forward to the sequel, whenever it comes.