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View Full Version : Harry Potter & The Girl Who Lived by Silveraegis - M


ixazncha0six
03-31-2006, 10:43 PM
Title: Harry Potter & The Girl Who Lived
Author: Silveraegis
Pairings: Might end up Harry/lily(female version of harry)
ratings: M
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2828761/1/


Summary:Post HBP Nonslash. Sent to an Universe where he meets Lily, his female 14 year old alternate self, Harry is left having to start his life over & helping Lily get through the TriWizard Tournament without breaking down.

This is a decent fanfiction and its pretty original. I reccomend you to read this but I think he has all his story on hold right now.

Galleon
03-31-2006, 10:49 PM
I read this not too long ago. It was.....ok I guess. The whole Harry/Lily thing was just creepy though. It wasn't nearly as good as the author's other work.

Lutris
03-31-2006, 11:57 PM
I'll give it a whirl... fix the link though.

EDIT: this was... questionable. Plot line is somewhat decent, but barely so. In fact, it's riddled with cliches. Grammer is not acceptable, spelling mistakes run rampant... this might do better in the 'barely readable' thread in Fanfiction Discussion.

ixazncha0six
04-01-2006, 12:10 AM
I fixed it.

Dark Syaoran
04-01-2006, 02:33 AM
Got really bad in the third chapter, couldnt read all of the fourth. Went from alright to plain shit.

Seraphym
04-01-2006, 11:34 AM
Definetly not the author's best work, though the concept is somewhat original. I don't mind the whole Lily/Harry thing since its no more creepy then LP/HP. Its ok, but it seems like there is no real effort behind it, like the author is just writing the story without caring about it at all.

Rain
04-04-2006, 05:52 PM
I'm following it, but it's definitely not the author's best work.

Giovanni
04-04-2006, 06:01 PM
This story while meeting the 'norm' for fanfiction left me disappointed. It is far from the authors best work (as several others have already mentioned), and it isn't particularly well written either. Idea wise, it was interesting... But stylistically/original idea wise it was a vast disappointment.

My major issue with the fic is that it seems/feels rushed. It's like the author is half-assing it, and if we compare it to his other fics, that may very well be true.

Narf
04-04-2006, 06:15 PM
I agree with Gio, the writing of this story is way too rushed...just like his other stories. If he would slow it down, concentrate on one story, and get a beta, his other story could be pretty good.

ip82
04-04-2006, 06:36 PM
I stopped reading Silveraegis' stories, coz this guy apparently has some sick sort of fascination with Lilly, that honestly gives me the creeps.

ixazncha0six
04-04-2006, 11:05 PM
Yeah, in Harry Potter and his new life I would have thought it would be H/Lily if he did not say it was H/Yuna or H/G.

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-09-2006, 01:24 PM
I know that they arent related in this but since they are the same person just different versions of each other...what does that make this?

parselmaster
04-10-2006, 01:49 AM
I'm thinking slash, but it isn't the same gender.

I believe Aegis was having some trouble with his beta, Correct me if I'm wrong. It also looks like he used a standard spell-checker on this, it leaves slight traces if one is looking (grammer not looking on pare, wording errors, ect). I hope Aegis improves, his ideas are normally pretty well written.

DarkTosser
04-10-2006, 04:21 AM
I know that they arent related in this but since they are the same person just different versions of each other...what does that make this?

True, it's weird, imagine the scene:

Draco: "Go F*** yourself Potter!"
Harry: "Ok! Come on Lily, let's go to our room..."
:O_O:

Dubrichius
04-10-2006, 05:14 AM
This is a varient of an age old dilemma: If a person were to clone themself, and then have sex with their clone; would it really be sex, or just an incredibly elaborate wank?

nonjon
04-10-2006, 10:33 AM
It's just incestuous masturbation.

And also, the real reason the time turner was invented. Too many wizards magicked out ribs trying to reach, and the ribs weren't growing back.

As for this fic, haven't read it. Doubt I will. SilverAegis's writing while full of semi-cliched but still interesting ideas, just frustrates and pisses me off. Sort of like a really good slashfic. I'm better off not even reading it.

Regress
04-13-2006, 11:09 PM
Yeah I ran into it while it was still in the first few chapters, I had forgotten about it since. It was decent back then, but it's gone downhill a bit since then. The guy really needs a decent beta.

Shreve
04-16-2006, 01:43 PM
This is a varient of an age old dilemma: If a person were to clone themself, and then have sex with their clone; would it really be sex, or just an incredibly elaborate wank?

Great, I'm going to be thinking about that all day long now.

:puke:

tridentwatch
04-16-2006, 01:53 PM
Harry should have just killed Snape, his alternate self, Dumbledore, Voldemort in Little Hangleton and everyone else who gets in the way. He is super powerful right? And that Phoenix animagus shit makes me give up on any fic that has it.

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-16-2006, 04:01 PM
For me its not the phoenix animagus that bothers me its the fact that hes almost always a phoenix when he has an animagus form instead of something original and they dont just leave it there, they almost always add on 15 other superpowers and make him the heir of merlin and the founders or some shit like that

it wouldnt be so bad if they just made him a phoenix animagus and didnt give him any other superpowers just his regular magic

Although I do have to say the best animagus form ive seen seen was in Thor Nairdas "Demon Within", that one was cool because they made his form into a bloodthirsty killing machine

tridentwatch
04-16-2006, 05:15 PM
If you want an original animagus fic you should read my survivor one. Its got him being a fox animagus and having a relationship with it. Im going for humor but disgust is fine too.

John Croaker
04-16-2006, 05:27 PM
Pretty good, but some weird stuff in between that makes me :shudder:

Aekiel
04-16-2006, 05:35 PM
I still like Manipulator of Destiny for animagus forms. Having Hermione get the snake and Neville the wolf while Harry gets a robin :P
As for the story - its pretty good but it seems rushed and he needs a beta for it. Is it just me or does chapter 5 just seem to drag on and rant about Lily's hatred of Dumbledore/Snape?
Overall rating - 4/10

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-16-2006, 06:21 PM
OK a robin is pretty good and so is a fox, but I have to say while I didnt like it the most original animagus form I ever read was a fly, yes that right a fly

Oh and Trident your story was pretty good and Harry having a relationship in his fox form doesnt bother me, trust me when I say ive read worse...(Marge Dursley/Draco Malfoy :puke: Cho Chang/Giant Squid/Marietta Edgecombe, :puke: Harry Potter/Molly Weasley)

John Croaker
04-16-2006, 08:03 PM
trust me when I say ive read worse...(Marge Dursley/Draco Malfoy :puke: Cho Chang/Giant Squid/Marietta Edgecombe, :puke: Harry Potter/Molly Weasley)

Now, THAT is disgusing!

madeyemoody
04-16-2006, 08:26 PM
trust me when I say ive read worse...(Marge Dursley/Draco Malfoy :puke: Cho Chang/Giant Squid/Marietta Edgecombe, :puke: Harry Potter/Molly Weasley)

Now, THAT is disgusing!
I Like those :P and harry/griphook ;)

John Croaker
04-16-2006, 08:47 PM
If you say so... :D

tridentwatch
04-16-2006, 11:00 PM
Are you freakin serious? WHo knew these many people could be such bestiality perverts!!! :puke:

Dark Syaoran
04-17-2006, 12:16 AM
There really is alot worse out there. Office Orgy... now that was pretty bad.

I get the award for most original animagus? I knew my fly would do me proud. Did I just read Hermione was a snake in some story? Wow... that is just not something I'd like her to be.

Erm, I dont know why but I peeked at this story again. It really is a shame. Good idea even if its a little strange but not being done correctly.

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-17-2006, 02:40 AM
Yep the fly all around completeley original, kind of wondering where you came up with it but it is a very nice change from the basic phoenix, panther or griffin animagus forms

As for what madeye said...Harry/Griphook? :puke: Someone seriously wrote a Harry/Griphook fic that wasnt a complete joke? :wall: Must remove the bad images!

tridentwatch
04-17-2006, 08:14 PM
ya someone should do an erotic Harry/Griphook story...


If I dont get scarred for life I will review it...

madeyemoody
04-17-2006, 09:31 PM
ya someone should do an erotic Harry/Griphook story...


If I dont get scarred for life I will review it...

I did it was promptly removed because it caused the mids to throw up on themselves :puke: heeeheeeeeeee Im sick and twisted :twisted:

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-17-2006, 10:26 PM
Normally here I would say something that would sound like I was trying to soften the blow but Im not going to bother with that, Madeye you are definitley a very sick and twisted person and if you wrote that kind of a fic then honestly just trying to imagine what goes on your head is already giving me nightmares

Niffler Lord
04-18-2006, 08:12 AM
If you want Harry/Griphook check out Manipulator of Destiny. It certainly seems to imply such.

Amerision
04-18-2006, 12:55 PM
This story became such a waste. It had so much potential. If he just slowed down a bit...

At one point I was ready to email him and ask him to hand the story over to me, but by then I was already writing Temptations.

Maybe someone here would rewrite it? Some Improvements that I was going to make:

Have Harry come in at the end of Third Year (for Lily). Harry was 16 1/2 , having beaten Voldemort after almost constant training. He didn't attend Hogwarts. You can use the Voldemort mind rape idea idea as well.

Harry, after beating Voldemort, was going to commit scuicide via the Veel, having everyone dead, and left with no purpose in life. His friends have left him, thinking him a killer, and sick, after the perverse manner he dealt with the Death Eaters.

The Veel takes him to Lily's world. Going in, he battles out of the DoM, (glamored of course) and escapes, beating the recently called in Albus Dumbledore to a standstill and escaping.

Harry, seeing a chance at a new life, registers at Hogwarts as Harry Potter- he doenst know Lily exists. Dumbledores like wtf? The magical contract he signed cannot be falsified. So, harry makes up some bullshit story about being Lily' s 5th or 6th cousin. As the Potter family tree is locked safely in the Potter family vault, he has no way to check this.
bu
Harry threatens Ludo Bagman for tickets and forces him to give the Weasleys tickets (with Lily as well). Harry, cut from the Trust Vault, bets heavily on Krum Getting the snitch, but Ireland winning. When the Death Eaters come in, Harry goes in and decimates them - he has Voldemort's wand as well from his old world, so duel wand dueling.

He goes on trial for murder, Fudge is pushing for imprisonment. To counter him, Harry sends Barty Crouch, long time rival of Fudge and fanatical Dark Wizard hater doucments detailing misuse of public funds by Fudge. Barty is given these in return for a waiver on the underage restrictions and tracking charms. But Barty cant get Ministership either - he's overfanatical, imprisioning everyone on suspicion of Dark Magic. So, he gives a now Desperate Fudge documents proving Sirius Black's innocence - making a scandel for Barty as he placed Black in prison without a trail. THe two bring each other down, leaving a place for Amelia Bones.

Harry enters Tri-Wizard tournamnent has the Hogwarts competitor, using a confunding charm to make sure he gets picked. Usual competitors are picked with Lily being the 4th Champion.

Harry totally decimates Dragon, parts water like moses for the second, but fails to reach Lily before she touches the Port key, so he goes along with her. He's taken by suprise by Death Eaters, who are already there and the dodges the Kill the Spare AK shot by Wormtail. He is therefore restained and watches as Voldemort comes back to life, but intervenes during the duel, deuling Voldie to a standstill and escaping with Lily.

The rest...is up to you.

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-18-2006, 03:02 PM
all I want to know is, if you have that much why dont you just write it yourself?

Amerision
04-18-2006, 03:05 PM
My head is bursting with ideas at the moment, but I dn't want to write so many stories that the quality of my others degrade. I want to answer my own Narccissm Challenge by mixing it with Across the Mirror, and with temptations, thats more than enough,

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-18-2006, 08:05 PM
ok thats a good plan, I dont know, I might try it if I feel that I could do it well but I dont want to take it and screw it up and Im also getting all of my ideas togther for my own fic so I probably wont do anything with it

tridentwatch
04-18-2006, 09:23 PM
I would totally read that story. You know what we should do? we should start a thread where we post mini stories like how the other guy did.

Ch 1 - couple sentances

ch 2- couple sentances

blah blah

blah blah

and so on

summerize the chapters and we got ourselves a good 1 page fic for people who dont have much time and dont wanna waste time reading long boring fics.

Amerision
04-18-2006, 09:49 PM
If your gonna do that, we might as well start a group written fic.

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-18-2006, 10:18 PM
well its not a bad idea, I might be willing to try it if we can get some more people to go in on it

DarthBill
04-18-2006, 10:28 PM
Amerison said:
parts water like moses for the second

Damnit! I was going to do that in my story, and now it is going to look like I ripped that off from you. Now I'm going to have to do something else. Thanks alot. (I'm not really mad. Just have to be more creative now)

tridentwatch
04-18-2006, 10:32 PM
Sure lets start a group story.
Everyone writes a chapter. A good one. Everyday. That way we have quality reading. Take a week to write a good chapter. Post it. Have 7 authors. Quality writing every day!

DarthBill
04-19-2006, 02:40 AM
It'd be a bit difficult to write and beta a chapter without having read the previous chapter yet.

ulkser
04-19-2006, 12:39 PM
chain stories generally suck. if you make a grop story then all of you should write the chapter or a chapter should get your accaptance, permission. because in other way, an author writes something that leads the story in a direction that others don't want it to go and in the end all goes to rubbish.
















good stories get lesser day by day and i have difficulty finding well written ones. so good authors should make a group of3 or 4 at most and work on a single story together. that way the updates will be quicker too.

John Croaker
04-19-2006, 08:26 PM
good stories get lesser day by day and i have difficulty finding well written ones
Not only that, but most good authors can't write all they would due to all those ff.net "slashy" readers that just love to report every little fact that is beyond limits!
and those who do, end up leaving ff.net. take as an example Shezza

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-19-2006, 09:29 PM
Yes, it really sucked when he left, His HP/Stargate crossover was one of my favorite fics ever but some bastard reported it and got it deleted then he left because he was tired of those people

Aekiel
04-20-2006, 05:31 PM
That is also one of my favourite stories - HUGE stargate fan here. Did Shezza post his story anywhere else apart from slas... I meant FANfiction.net?

sephiroththebrokenangel
04-20-2006, 07:10 PM
I think he has a Yahoo group but I'm not sure

RagefulLlama
04-21-2006, 03:08 AM
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shezzaswork/

"

From: "Rick" <shezza181988437@...>
Date: Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:12 pm
Subject: Shezza88: A Reply shezza181988437
Offline Offline
Send Email Send Email
Invite to Yahoo! 360º Invite to Yahoo! 360º

Hey everybody,
I've been away on holiday, so I haven't been able to
check this site for quite a while. I have real life bugging me every
second...such as being in my last year of Secondary School....so I
have to get good marks if I want to go to university next year.

An answer to some questions:

Lady Firefox: Well, it's good to know somebody who can recognise
greatness...flatters my ego. To your answer, No, I don't mind HP and
the Stargate stored over at the HP/SG-1 site...in fact, I'm a member
of the site. Just remember, flattery gets you everywhere

Kyrissean-Angelis: How's my muse...well, it's overworked and busy on
other things. I won't give any definite answers about updates, but
don't expect any. I think you should consider my stories dead in the
water....but if I ever get around to it, I might continue with
Ancients Power.
You can post my stories on your site, I don't mind at all.

This group was meant to be a library of sorts, since FF.Net
is...unreliable...and I spent a lot of time writing these stories, too
much time for me to chuck them away.
Sincerely,
Shezza88

P.S- If you hadn't heard, a lot of Yahoo Groups have been getting
wiped out lately...so I want this group to stay under the rader and be
very, very meek.


"

Dark Syaoran
04-21-2006, 11:18 AM
Bit off topic here, yes?

tridentwatch
04-26-2006, 08:30 PM
So? got a problem with being off topic?
....

So anyways I saw a crow the other day. It was pretty good. Anyone else seen any crows lately?

ip82
04-26-2006, 08:36 PM
Yeah, "Crow" is a great movie. Ahh, cinematography. Such a splendid invention. Wouldn't you say?

ulkser
04-27-2006, 10:57 AM
about the new chapter of the story,


i am very disappointed to read harry's animagus form is a phoenix!!! it is too cliche, too 'unfitting' i say. it really killed my enthusiasm towards the fic.


i hate harry/ginny paired fics and harry having phoenix form fics too much to read them.

RagefulLlama
04-28-2006, 03:17 AM
Yeah, "Crow" is a great movie. Ahh, cinematography. Such a splendid invention. Wouldn't you say?

I liked the series better personally although I have only seen a select few episodes and can't faind the season(s) on the net anywhere :(.

Raijin
05-05-2006, 10:56 PM
about the new chapter of the story,


i am very disappointed to read harry's animagus form is a phoenix!!! it is too cliche, too 'unfitting' i say. it really killed my enthusiasm towards the fic.


i hate harry/ginny paired fics and harry having phoenix form fics too much to read them.

I agree with you though it should be predictable considering hes done a few of the lower cliches. Like the turning Lily into a girl to rival Fleur and stuff like that. I mean if she got more fit i'd understand but rivavling fleur and under a month seems a bit excessive.

tridentwatch
05-05-2006, 11:46 PM
about the new chapter of the story,


i am very disappointed to read harry's animagus form is a phoenix!!! it is too cliche, too 'unfitting' i say. it really killed my enthusiasm towards the fic.


i hate harry/ginny paired fics and harry having phoenix form fics too much to read them.

I agree with you though it should be predictable considering hes done a few of the lower cliches. Like the turning Lily into a girl to rival Fleur and stuff like that. I mean if she got more fit i'd understand but rivavling fleur and under a month seems a bit excessive.

Getting a bit off topic now arent we?

As for crow, I was thinking more like a bird, not a tv show. But whatever you like. Speaking of tv shows anyone watch Simpsons?

Niffler Lord
05-06-2006, 03:49 AM
Did he delete a chapter?? I went back and looked at the fic and there was a chapter missing.

Element
05-06-2006, 05:44 AM
It appears so. No explanation has yet been produced, either. I can't even remember what happened in Chapter 7 (doesn't say much for the story..) but it's been deleted. I daresay he'll have it back up again sooner or later.

ulkser
05-06-2006, 10:48 AM
i think he should go over this fic. it has become too childish and cliche towards the end.




i hope the reason he deleted a chapter is him handling the story from the beginnig. he should concentrate on his other fic, a new beginning.

Myst
05-06-2006, 09:35 PM
mm I perfer his other works over this one, but Its still good enough for me to read and not cringe like a lot of ff.net's crap.

headbanger
05-07-2006, 10:33 AM
I dont think that SilverAegis deleted the chapter himself, cause some of my bookmarked stories on ff.net got some chaps deleted too. Maybe ff admins are now deleting only the chaps they dont like instead of the whole stories :D

Master Slytherin
05-07-2006, 12:01 PM
Heh, that would be an absolute gift if they were; makes sense and saves a lot of trouble. Wait a minute... this is the nazi admins we're talking about, they wouldn't think of something PRACTICAL would they? *scratches head* Might just be wistful thinking...

Niffler Lord
05-08-2006, 02:36 AM
Why would they do that? Do these people have any guidelines on what to delete?

CGB
05-21-2006, 01:07 PM
Chapter 8 is out now and it's about the 1st task. It's more or less like the canon task with the exception that Cedric didn't manage toget his egg. But I like this story and hope he'll update soon.

Patrik f
05-21-2006, 03:05 PM
While I like the story so would I have liked it better if Lily hadent gotten the egg by using a broom, it was just in chapter 7 or maybe 6 that she told harry that she was not on the quiddith team and dident even have her own broom but then suddenly is she flying extremly well.

RagefulLlama
05-25-2006, 03:30 PM
While I like the story so would I have liked it better if Lily hadent gotten the egg by using a broom, it was just in chapter 7 or maybe 6 that she told harry that she was not on the quiddith team and dident even have her own broom but then suddenly is she flying extremly well.

At the very begining of the story it said that she flew very well but refused to play on the quidditch (sp?) team no matter who asked her.

Amerision
05-25-2006, 03:41 PM
While at first, I hated the story because he ruined the pairing, I find that it is a nice, easy read.

It's a nice fluffy break from the heavy evil stories I'm used to.

doc_gerbil
05-27-2006, 05:20 PM
couldnt read this
to bad to be good to good to be bad.
neither here nor there.
you get the picture
btw is this red thing new. i ddint notice it till very recently

arkeus
05-27-2006, 05:42 PM
weird, i never manage to read this author s writing...it makes me cringe somewhat...ah well, and it's not very innovative.

Evil Shnitzel
05-28-2006, 05:50 AM
By the way it's she not he.
I like her stories if I ignore the whole huge fluffy part.

harryboy111
05-28-2006, 11:29 PM
i think that this is an ok story but it frustrates me sometime when he says the same thing 3 times using different wording in the same paragraph it just makes me want to go and change it to make it an easier read.

carvell
05-29-2006, 02:38 PM
ive just read the first chapter and it is promisimg the whole harry/twin other realty thing is a bit disturbing but on the whole it is ok as far iam concerned lily being abandoned by all her friends then along comes harry is nice touch the author has got this story going this right at least as far iamm concerned lily has not got a ron who is bespotted by a girl who lived live ginny with harry (boy who bloody who lives) she hqs noone except admires then harry whop comes along then hey prestow a friend when you need one this is one story i will keep ian eye on in the future

Amerision
05-29-2006, 02:57 PM
ive just read the first chapter and it is promisimg the whole harry/twin other realty thing is a bit disturbing but on the whole it is ok as far iam concerned lily being abandoned by all her friends then along comes harry is nice touch the author has got this story going this right at least as far iamm concerned lily has not got a ron who is bespotted by a girl who lived live ginny with harry (boy who bloody who lives) she hqs noone except admires then harry whop comes along then hey prestow a friend when you need one this is one story i will keep ian eye on in the future

erm..what?

*Raises bullseye for DIEGINNYDIE*

Myst
05-29-2006, 07:47 PM
Someone get that kid a Beta.

Void Sorcerer
05-30-2006, 12:10 AM
I have been following this story since it first came out, and I must say that it is a pretty good story even though I wish the chapters were longer.

KeshinNoAkui
05-30-2006, 12:25 AM
I myself liked it, though I was a little skeptical at first. But I agree he could use a Beta, or even a good spell-checker.

zEROfrustration
06-06-2006, 09:25 AM
This is the first Harry/Girl!Harry I've seen and what I've read so far of it I really like. Go SiverAegis!

zEROfrustration

carvell
06-16-2006, 02:50 PM
WHOOPS sorry about the spelling i forgot there was a spell check on this, i wrote that up after i had a bit of a drink but apart from spelling i stand by my review everything in the story fit's just right i'am waiting to see if lily and herry go to the ball together and what the bumblebee say's about harry and all that

nonjon
06-16-2006, 03:15 PM
I think we're more looking for some punctuation or maybe even properly placed capital letters.

Though props for trying with i'am and fit's.

Lucas13
06-24-2006, 09:19 PM
Great, I'm going to be thinking about that all day long now.

:puke:

Me too...
:puke:

Geisterstunde
07-10-2006, 03:01 PM
I read this story a while ago and I thought at the beginning this would be somewhat interesting but then there was this whole Harry/Harrygirl thing ...make it look like insest...
Not the best work from SilverAegis but nevertheless worth a try

The Morrigu
07-10-2006, 03:46 PM
I myself am a fan of Aegis' writing, as I like the writing style. I just think that the majority of the content needs work. Like the some plot points being a bit hard to belive, OTT etc. But, if any of you like good reads, try Gabriel by Shikatanai, Faith by Dragongirl16 or Harry Potter and the Four Realms by Daphne Li. The first and last are AU, but well written.

Dark Lord Shabranigdo
07-12-2006, 05:41 PM
True, it's weird, imagine the scene:

Draco: "Go F*** yourself Potter!"
Harry: "Ok! Come on Lily, let's go to our room..."
:O_O:

Dude, you need help. Welcome to the family.

Dark Lord Shabranigdo
07-12-2006, 05:45 PM
Anyway, I actually like this story, no matter what you mofos say.

Its got an interesting plot, and I like to see what Harry's going to do different.

Oh yeah, I liked how SIlver Aegis has him play a flute instead of a violin or some other cliche. It does make more sense according to cannon. Hagrid gave him that flute in first year, plus Harry was an adult in his dimension, so it's not an instantaeous musical genius cliche,

Overall, a good story. Still waiting for an update, though.

DarkTosser
07-15-2006, 06:38 AM
Dude, you need help. Welcome to the family.

yeah i know, but that's the first thing that came to mind when i read the summary.. :D

Once past the creeping factor ( and it took some time) i admit the story is decently written.

That said try to imagine yourself in harry' shoes. Personnally, i couldn't stand a female v ersion of me, much less banging her/me/whatever... *brrrr*
:puke:

dark.itachi
07-16-2006, 08:43 PM
I really thought this was a step down from silver aegis's other writing, before they were o.k. with fics such as shadow mage that were relatively interesting but this is bleh, not gooda at all.

IndoGhost
07-16-2006, 11:05 PM
The Morrigu (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/member.php?u=1493) go read the rules you sig is to big.

Narf
07-17-2006, 03:07 AM
Yes, The Morrigu, please change your sig, or one of the admins will do it for you. There is a size limit, which is 500 by 120 pixels.
(http://forums.darklordpotter.net/member.php?u=1493)

Yarrgh!
07-17-2006, 10:09 AM
DarkTosser: Is there a reason that you've got someone else's fic in your sig? o_O

Silver Aegis...his stories are okay, but I ahve to confess that his wrting prowess sucks the fat one. It reads like a 10 year old's work.

His body was so hot it should be illegal!

I mean, seriously...what the fuck. For a seasoned author to write like this...heh.

Amerision
07-17-2006, 11:33 AM
Just wondering, does this squick factor also apply to my Harry/Jamie (Fem/Harry) story?

-

While the author isn't doing the best he/she could, I still enjoy the story alot - it's a light read.

DarkTosser
07-17-2006, 01:04 PM
DarkTosser: Is there a reason that you've got someone else's fic in your sig? o_O


Good Question... i hadn't post in a while and i have absolutely no idea where it comes from... :?: In fact, i don't even remember ever reading that fic. *shrug*
Well I erased everything...

The Morrigu
07-17-2006, 04:11 PM
Perhaps it is a LITTLE disturbing. The whole Lily/Harry thing.....its like incest...just worse.... but I do think that the plot is good. Just OTT as I stated before. One thing I dont like in fics where they make everything out to be perfect. (Ie when Lily is decribed to have the perfect body after taking the potions), its just really unrealistic. I mean, like 20& of people would say 'I have a perfect body'. I personally have no qualms in writing character who dont have perfect figures, it is more in with the real world not the celebrity style.

Vincent V
07-17-2006, 04:17 PM
This is a pretty good story. I like the Harry/Lily thing. Its wierd I know, but for some reason I like it.

The Morrigu
07-17-2006, 04:21 PM
Thats er...different. Lol!

Raijin
07-18-2006, 07:12 PM
I like his plot ideas and the pairing doesn't bother me at all. But the perfectness factor really annoys me. Oh and Yarrgh! hit it right on the head with his writing style, i havn't actually been able to figure out why i disliked it until now.

Randeemy
07-20-2006, 07:05 PM
I have only read the first 3 chapters and I wasnt too impressed. I didnt like it how quickly Harry revealed all, although I think the timing was right. (that sounds like a contradiction, I know, its hard to explain what annoyed me about that) I think that the fact that a AU travel fic that gives an author licence over Harry's poweres so easily is quite hard for me read. The original explanation of Harrys powers was fine, but he was then sucked into the darker side of magic. Otherwise I quite enjoyed. Perhaps just my neurosis for my complaints.

Prophet of the Waves
07-29-2006, 01:03 AM
:mid1 *No matter what anyone else may Think*


I really think this is a good story there are a few things I could question but as far as I can tell this is really good

Plus the fact that if you don't like the story nobody is making you read it::wall:

Dark Syaoran
07-29-2006, 08:18 AM
Tried to read this again because of the somewhat decent reviews it was getting in here, and the five start rating it somehow obtained, but I just couldnt do it. I feel like headbutting someone.

haroon_angel
01-08-2007, 04:57 PM
It Seems Like Lily Is His Mother's Name

Richard
01-30-2007, 04:28 AM
Well, I think it's a decent story, too bad he doesn't update anymore. By the way Amerison...I really like your Jamie/Harry story, I wrote a review on it. I hope you update it really soon. Your damn story's had me on the edge of my friggen seat!

Are there any other Harry/Femself stories out there? And good ones? Just wondering.

Richard.

C.S.Kaniel
01-30-2007, 08:29 AM
I think that classifies as necroposting, but i'm not sure. Either way, unless it's been updated, which it hasn't, leave the topic alone.

Muttering Condolences
01-30-2007, 11:48 AM
haroon_angel, Richardc269, I'm going to explain the concept of Necroposting to you.

Necroposting is when an idiot (you) thinks it's a really good idea to post messages in a thread that has been inactive for several months, in this case 6 months, with absolutely nothing constructive to say.

haroon-angel- You pointed out that Lily was Harry's mother's name. Bravo. Just because you're not a native english speaker doesn't mean you're not an idiot.

Richardc269- Not only did you contribute nothing to discussion, but you posted a message for another story in it, and you did a search. Those are big time no-no's.

Read the forum rules. They will clearly point out the do's and do not's of the DLP community.

Sanctimonius
01-30-2007, 07:29 PM
damn it... if you have nothing to say, leave the post alone. i understand you're new and all that crap, but come on, read the rules. i thought there was an update.

gamegodtx
04-28-2007, 02:27 PM
I wish he would continue this fic. It drizes me crazy when they stop mid-fic. :wall:

Amerision
04-28-2007, 03:44 PM
http://www.benoit.cc/ts/holy_necroposting_batman.jpg


So. You posted in a three month old thread to express your dissatisfaction?

Nexus
05-07-2007, 03:43 PM
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k230/Lord_Nex/Scar-sense.jpg

Actually Sheep-Boy this is a 8 month old thread. The earlier three posts or so were necros too.

raja
05-07-2007, 05:11 PM
Why would you post that?

nonjon
05-07-2007, 05:37 PM
Stop. Please. You realize necroposting is compounded and made far worse when you all post just to point it out that someone necroposted? If you want report the post. Or if you want to play moderator so much then be a good member and PM the newbie telling them necro is bad. That's what I do (when I'm being a good moderator).

And it's been said a million times, but we encourage all useful posts in the library, regardless of when the last post was. Complain about it being a pointless one line post. Complain that he spelled drives with a z in the middle. But in the library we want opinions. Even on old seemingly abandoned fics that haven't been updated in years. Opinions change and the libraries about recommendations. I wouldn't be surprised if people's opinions on this fic have changed too. Feel free to post again with some new insight. Library threads are excluded from this [necroposting], as we want your opinion. That's what the general DLP Forum rules say.

I wish he would continue this fic. It drizes me crazy when they stop mid-fic. And it drives me crazy when people read unfinished WIP fics and then complain that they just read an unfinished WIP fic. Someone's literacy privileges should be put under review.

Andro
08-27-2007, 12:42 AM
Well, I read this, and couldn't see how it's garnered so many reviews. I definitely like the pairing and thought that it was clever, what with Lily Potter actually being Harry's alternate self, and appearing validly in the pairing sorting system on FFnet.

The story itself was underwhelming. The author's writing is just bland, and he constantly made syntax mistakes that disrupted the flow of the story, such as using "Harry's departing" instead of "Harry's departure", and is pretty simplistic overall. He constantly failed at the little sentence structures and word choices so that his writing comes off immature, ie "Lord, please have mercy on her soul, that Hungarian Horntail looked humongous and very scary."

The writing lacks that epicness that really makes a story shine in my eyes.

Then, the rest of the problems that the fic is mired sank it even further below my expectations.

Imperator Pesmerga
08-28-2007, 07:25 AM
Well, I read this, and couldn't see how it's garnered so many reviews. I definitely like the pairing and thought that it was clever, what with Lily Potter actually being Harry's alternate self, and appearing validly in the pairing sorting system on FFnet.

The story itself was underwhelming. The author's writing is just bland, and he constantly made syntax mistakes that disrupted the flow of the story, such as using "Harry's departing" instead of "Harry's departure", and is pretty simplistic overall. He constantly failed at the little sentence structures and word choices so that his writing comes off immature, ie "Lord, please have mercy on her soul, that Hungarian Horntail looked humongous and very scary."

The writing lacks that epicness that really makes a story shine in my eyes.

Then, the rest of the problems that the fic is mired sank it even further below my expectations.
It's more because the author is quite popular in FF.net. His other works (Shadow Mage, Harry Potter and the New Life) are pretty much a favorite of the 'mainstream' fanfiction reader. Long, decently written stories with a super powered, Gary Sue, Harry who has a harem of women, while still having a strange infatuation with Lily, is what SilverAegis is pretty much well known for.

/me points at Harry Potter and the New Life as an example.

Amerision
08-28-2007, 10:52 AM
/me points at Harry Potter and the New Life as an example.

I remember reading that as a nubile FF reader, and going through a part where Harry looks starstruck at his own mother in a bikini coming out of the pool, after which he quickly looks away. He tells her how beautiful she is at least once a chapter.

It was kinda freaky...

Spanks
08-28-2007, 05:12 PM
This fic was alright, good compared to a lot of the garbage around the fandom. Not the best, I don't like super powered Harry who can wave a hand and destroy any enemy.

I remember reading that as a nubile FF reader, and going through a part where Harry looks starstruck at his own mother in a bikini coming out of the pool, after which he quickly looks away. He tells her how beautiful she is at least once a chapter.

It was kinda freaky...

I actually left the author a review a long time ago and told him off because of how annoying is was to read Harry's obsession with his mom and that he should just make the fic Harry/Lily (not that I am complaining). I told him that he is laying it on too thick and that he is the biggest mama's boy I have ever read in all of Potterdom......He replied and said he would not be as blatant with the Lily worship.

Lincos
08-28-2007, 05:23 PM
Why do people go on about 'Necro'ing in the Library? These threads are here to be reviewed wether the thread is old or new.

Now as to the story. It was nothing special, I think he just wants to write an incest fic but doesn't have the balls to post something like that on FFN.

-Linc-

(1st post!)

Andro
08-28-2007, 11:52 PM
I don't know whether I should be disturbed or proud that Harry's obsession with his mother is considered mainstream.

Son of the Forsaken
08-30-2007, 06:07 PM
Considering that in canon he gets together with Ginny who supposed look similar to Lily.(though in my opinion they don't)
I don't see why it couldn't be mainstream when Harry knows little of his mother, with only being told that he has her eyes yet nothing else about her besides that.

Niffler Lord
09-02-2007, 01:09 AM
In HP and the New Life, besides his obsession with his mother, which is understandable I guess since he never got to know her, I really got annoyed with the constant yearning for Ginny... It seems every chapter there was something about how he could hold her or jump in her panties or something. It was beyond an obsession in that aspect.

I like this story over the others because there is hardly any of the overly fluffy, tooth-rotting sweetness in the others.

Muttering Condolences
09-06-2007, 11:19 PM
Why do people go on about 'Necro'ing in the Library? These threads are here to be reviewed wether the thread is old or new.



Since you are most likely the guy who tried to neg rep me, I'm gonna respond.

Did you even read the posts of those two? They did not contribute any new or original trains of thought regarding the fic.

haroon-angel- pointed out that Lily was Harry's mother's name. No shit I decided to call him on it. Ding dong! Captain Obvious is at the door! That did not require a post.

Richardc269 did not contribute anything to the discussion other than "Too bad he doesn't update' and then proceeded to ask Amersion about his Harry/self story (which has it's own thread).

If you read the stickies, you would know that unless you have something new or insightful to say, shut your mouth.

Lincos
09-07-2007, 10:44 AM
As it happens I did not neg rep you as I dont even know how to Add or Take Rep from people. I dont spend enough time on DLP to care.

And you wern't the only one to metion Necro'ing, I mentioned It because I have seen it a few times throughout the Library forum.

-Linc-

Andro
11-29-2007, 12:34 PM
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/806133/SilverAegis

He has abandoned all of his stories. He says he doesn't mind anyone continuing them, but I couldn't care less either way.

ip82
11-29-2007, 12:51 PM
"Harry Potter & the new life" has already been taken over by another author.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3912202/1/Harry_Potter_&_the_new_life

Verminard
11-29-2007, 05:14 PM
"Harry Potter & the new life" has already been taken over by another author.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3912202/1/Harry_Potter_&_the_new_life

It is kinda dull. Harry has all manner of powers and is thrust into a 10 year old body with those powers, including shadow magic, and a wand that once belonged to this amazing wizard king. No one is too upset when he threatens Ollivander with a knife. There is Neville who acts like Malfoy on the rag.

Just too many cliches.

Amerision
11-29-2007, 08:58 PM
Such a shame this story is being abandoned. I rather liked the H/Fem!Harry.

/me sighs

Won't anyone write more of this pairing?

Andro
11-29-2007, 10:12 PM
Amerision, after much consideration I've concluded that you need to find yourself a disciple.

I have little hope for Harry and the New life, considering the author's note:

Continuing the story SilverAegis wrote, since he dosen't have anytime to continue it, I tought I should:-)

I'd take over The Girl Who Lived. I tend to live up to my avatar more when the material's already there, just waiting for me to coat it with a sheen of fresh coyote blood.

Amerision
11-29-2007, 10:15 PM
Taking applications. Please send a short paragraph or more detailing what you believe makes you worthy of becoming my disciple.

Andro
12-01-2007, 12:14 AM
Well, I've taken it upon myself to begin the rewrite. Amerision's cause is a good one, and I whole-heartedly support it. It's pretty easy to get myself into highgear when editing a story with knowledge of what happens 8 chapters in advance. I rewrote the first chapter of this story, and got about 600 words for the sixth chapter of To Define Treachery done, and even temporarily revived my muse for Serpent of the Haradwaith.

Really, it's like being a beta.

At the very least, I'll procure a version of this story without Harry being a phoenix animagus, and without the pedophilic undertones, ie "We need to get you back into shape."

Link a la http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3921614/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Girl_Who_Lived

I'm keeping a log of cliches I've killed and replaced. The biggest one is replacing the origin of the mind-linking spell in chapter one. Instead of the Room of Requirement, Harry recovers a spellbook from beneath Gringotts, during an extended siege.

Spanks
12-01-2007, 02:32 PM
It's a good start, Andro, I am looking forward to your version of this.

I think I asked this in a review, but I will ask it here too....When Harry says that his power is monumental are we talking he has enough power to equal Voldemort and Dumbledore? Or are we talking Harry's mountain of power to Voldemort's ant hill?

Philly Homer
12-01-2007, 03:05 PM
Doesn’t she know who he is? Perhaps better fitting would be; Didn't the girl know who he was?

The Tournament hasn’t been held since his 4th Year; The Tournament hadn't been held since his 4th year.

The precursor to his fifth yearthat saw; The precursor to his fifth year that saw.

These are the few mistakes I caught. I think all of them are SilverAegis' whose story you are re-writing. I look forward to reading your version of Harry Potter and The Girl Who Lived.

Best Of Luck!
Homer

Andro
12-01-2007, 03:38 PM
When Harry says that his power is monumental are we talking he has enough power to equal Voldemort and Dumbledore?

According to SilverAegis, it looks like mountain to anthill. I'm keeping Harry's power on Dumbledore's footing, and slightly under Voldemort. It'll gradually rise as time passes. Unfortunately for him, the power-grows-with-age will apply to them as well, so their hierarchy of power will be static, for the most part.

I'm going to redo the third/fourth chapter where Harry spills his guts all over the floor. I'll introduce something like the Time Accord, a set of rules that govern what a time traveller can divulge about the future, and go from there.

What do you guys think about a species called the Precursors, the overseers of time and most evolved magical species in existence capable of speeding or winding back evolution ? There would be five or four at most, and would work to sabotage Harry to balance out his advantage of knowledge of the future.

Harry is initially aware of this, and so does not actually tell Lily what happens, but some moves by Voldemort forces Harry to tell Lily what happens so that she may live, which provokes the Precursors to make an appearance, and ally themselves with Voldemort. They use their abilities to hasten the evolution of the werewolves and vampires, etc. It would give me another opportunity to write a good Voldemort.

Thanks for the error-catching Phil. I left a few sentences alone that I thought were ok, but they apparently weren't. The last one was mine, forgot the space. :P

Also, what is the forum's opinion on what SilverAegis intended to do concerning Voldemort's rebirth? My impression was that Harry expected for Voldemort to return. I could come up with something that prohibits in 'time markers', which are events that must come to pass, with the same end result. So while Voldemort must return, Harry would be able to alter things slightly, such as hiring a gang of mercenaries to eliminate some of the Death Eaters.

Spanks
12-02-2007, 12:31 AM
What do you guys think about a species called the Precursors, the overseers of time and most evolved magical species in existence capable of speeding or winding back evolution ? There would be five or four at most, and would work to sabotage Harry to balance out his advantage of knowledge of the future.

It would be good. I think the fic will need some more conflict besides Voldemort. Lily will focus on Voldemort while Harry has to deal with these Precursors more so than Voldemort. Just don't make these beings so powerful that Harry needs some deus ex machina to beat them O_o

redawgts
12-02-2007, 12:34 AM
I really don't like the idea of the Precursors. They seem to be some sort of deus ex machina. Harry can use a (proverbial) scalpel to change the time line, and here comes these super-beings joining Voldemort and changing things with a chainsaw. The fact that Harry changes things means that other things will also change, which will slowly and naturally negate any advantage he has.

Also, if my memory serves me, this isn't a rewind fic, it's a alternate (but similar) dimension fic. As much as things are similar to the old world, there will be differences and it's likely that some of Harry's knowledge about the world and it's people will be inaccurate.

I do hope you do something about Harry's pedo/incest problem he seems to have had in this fic too. It was just creepy in the original.

And finally I hope to see more chapters for your Serpent of the Haradwaith fic.

Amerision
12-02-2007, 11:36 AM
I do hope you do something about Harry's pedo/incest problem

What part of Harry/Fem!Harry in the summary did you miss?

Andro
12-02-2007, 12:50 PM
Red has a point, even though I think it's both genres.

I'm thinking of something else - the Colleagues of the Mind, of which all official practitioners of the Mind Arts are a member of. Their original purpose was to find Dimension/Time travellers via Legilimency.

However, Dimension/Time travellers are rare, and some of them don't really do anything. Thus, the original order shifted their focus to the Light and Dark opposition. The Light Colleagues search for potential Dark Lords, while the Dark seek to kill the Light Colleagues to prevent them from killing Dark Lords before their power matures.

Anyway, I don't think Harry will come in and say "Well, I decided to solve the whole Light and Dark thing." by uniting the two factions against him.

Hasty
12-02-2007, 12:59 PM
What do you guys think about a species called the Precursors, the overseers of time and most evolved magical species in existence capable of speeding or winding back evolution? There would be five or four at most, and would work to sabotage Harry to balance out his advantage of knowledge of the future.
Seems like a race of Mary-Sues in my opinion. To be honest I've always seen Dumbledore and Voldemort as being on a completely different level from other wizards. For example DoM fuck up, Dumbledore arrives and every Death Eater in the Veil room finds themselves bound and disarmed. When the DAs caught and Fudge trys to arrest Dumbledore, flash of light and everyone’s unconscious.

Voldemort slaughters Aurors while laughing, against Dumbledore Death Eaters might as well not exist, and if Harry is on the same level then he can do the same... Though perhaps to a lesser degree.

The Order of the Phoenix exists to counter the Death Eaters not Voldemort. But despite the fact that both sides seem balanced it's always the 'Light' on the defensive, as long as you write the story properly and give Voldemort the credit he's due it doesn't matter that both Dumbledore and Harry are arrayed against him it's still going to be a challenging war/fight/whatever.

There’s no need for a race of ‘uber magic people’ to counter Harry because as redawgts said, as soon as Harry changes something his knowledge of the time line becomes unreliable, the more he changes the less reliable it becomes. And again, this isn’t a time travel fic but an Alternate Reality, is Lilith the only difference?

CGB
12-02-2007, 03:56 PM
I think you shouldn't add the Precursors. It would be better to let Harry make a huge mistake by assuming something in this dimension is the same as in his original to even out his advantage.

thapagan
12-02-2007, 05:13 PM
Super!Harry vs. the folks that hit and run.
see harry chase, find clues, lay clever traps etc....

Andro
12-02-2007, 05:14 PM
Yes, Redawgts convinced me, no Precursors. Harry'll miscalculate, some of his risks and dares won't be pulled off.

I'm working on the pedo thing. I think it could be taken care of if Harry met up with Rosmerta... :P Really, at least until Lily's seventeen, late sixteen, there's really no need for any romance.

slasheh
12-02-2007, 05:30 PM
Personally i think the best way to handle the time travel, is to change things fast, sometimes even without harry's influence. You already have small changes (e.g. Hermione forsaking her instead of standing by her), if you make some more changes along those lines Harry's knowledge becomes less powerfull.
Concerning the pedo thing, while i like smut fics, there is really no need for there to be any in this fic. I think it would serve best if they had a brother sister relationship, since that would be the most "natural" to him (face it, most 20 year olds don't suddenly fancy 14 year old girls, especielly if they are related in some ways). It would reduce the ick factor and sugery sweetness of the original.

Choronzon
12-02-2007, 08:26 PM
I would just like to say that I will also be writing a version of the story, though it appears it will be very different from the one discussed. It will be my first fanfic, so I'm trying not to rush it. Working on the outline and Prologue now.

I am considering putting it up on the Work by Authors section.

Drake
12-02-2007, 09:12 PM
So far I think you've done a good job of dispelling most of the cliches in the first two chapters. I'm glad you got rid of the idea of the Precursors, and am interested in what you will do with the Colleagues of the Mind. Besides a few grammatical errors along the way, I believe you are doing a good job of rewriting the story. I look forward to later chapters.

Raijin
12-02-2007, 11:42 PM
I could be wrong, might just be an effect of having read SilverAegis' orginal version but isn't everything proceding a little to quickly? Development of feelings of possessiveness on Harry's part for example when he barely knows her. A huge shakeup in the power structure of the school. Lily on the path to training.

Andro
12-03-2007, 12:05 AM
I think I understand what I'm doing now. I'm layering the original with some cosmetic and original improvements, but the base things that were detriments in the original are still here. One of those things was the pace of the relationship. It was exaggerated by the pedophilia, and the way the author chose to have Lily be a foil for his, for the most part, omnipotent Harry.

I'll work on it.

Amerision
12-03-2007, 12:17 AM
I would just like to say that I will also be writing a version of the story, though it appears it will be very different from the one discussed. It will be my first fanfic, so I'm trying not to rush it. Working on the outline and Prologue now.


I am in fucking heaven.

Nuhuh
12-03-2007, 04:19 PM
Andromalius~

I'll start by saying that there are way too many threads about this story for me to figure out which one you are having discussion of the rewrite specifically in. Can you link me so that after now I only post there please?

That said, I may be repeating things others have said but like the above multiple thread issue I couldn't read every post so skip over things people have already talked about.

Having read your rewritten chapters I see a marked improvement in the mechanics of writing. So the general quality has definitely gone up. Thanks for that, it flows much better for it.

1) I wish I had seen this before because I wanted to mention that Harry's speeches through his sister are really annoying. They are the cornerstone of typical indy fics where Harry makes scathing, articulate condemnations ad nauseam. If you could tone that down, or make that flow better I think it would improve the story line much more.

2) The mental bond: The original author like many before him/her took the easy path of giving a telepathic connection and having the users immediately proficient at it. In this case presumably Harry already knows how to do it so it wouldn't make sense for him to be stumbling over it, but Lilith has just discovered it, so when Harry asks her to give him access to her body, or memories, or whatever there should be a learning curve or at least a "how do I do that?" instead of Lilith immediately saying 'okey dokey' and Harry can use her body to throw a punch, etc. So a little explanation, or depth to that would be better.

3) I think you have already picked up on this, but their relationship development was paced erratically in the original. I already see signs of easing that in your rewrite, I hope that is something that you are doing consciously. As a fan of Harry/fem!Harry, I am not concerned about the pairing, I just want to see it done in a much less fan girl kind of way.

4) The original story felt very much relationship driven, which is fine in general because it is an odd pairing, but it sacrificed description, mood, environment, pacing for the sake of it. If you can squeeze a line here and there to set those things up it will feel more like a real story with a world of its own than hurtling through one set of Lilith's feelings to another and then another etc, while plot is just a filler.

In conclusion it looks like I've become quite demanding, and I have to say that I don't really know to what level you were planning to rewrite. So it's possible much of what I have said doesn't apply to what you want to do, but these are the things that I saw were lacking in the original work.

This is a story I really want to read, and I read despite all the things that usually make me X out of a fic, so I am glad you're cleaning that up. Good luck.

Andro
12-03-2007, 06:00 PM
Hey,

Fortunately, I immediately have the answer to one of them. The mental link costs energy. I think this was a transparent effort on the part of the original author to make it less godly. However, as I said in the other thread, Harry will have to struggle hard to make things go right, and so that energy becomes more and more scarce.

Also, I adjusted the system. Instead of posession, it's much less intrusive. Harry sends prompts, or perhaps brain signals, to Lily/Lilith, who has the choice of accepting them. The whole extreme trust is dampened too.

Andro
01-17-2008, 02:15 AM
I am sorry to say, that I will no longer be working on working on my stories except The Girl Who Lived. At first, I had discontinued this story, but oddly so, I got interested in it again. For my other stories, if anyone wants to continue them, you are welcome to continue to do so. I do not mind at all.


From SilverAegis' profile.

I'm glad I'm writing my own thing lol.

Renzhoulawyers
01-18-2008, 03:33 AM
I'm on the 4th chapter right now and it is excruciatingly painful to continue. Tell me people, just how did this get into the library? The ideas might be 10/10 but the actual writing itself just fails. FAILS

1/5 just because i cant give lower to this trash

vorenus
02-23-2008, 07:54 PM
Another authors taken over this
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4040192/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Girl_Who_Lived

Tidus86p
02-29-2008, 03:09 AM
well the way I see it this is going to be an independent!super!harry with a manipulative Dumbledore cliche, and the only exception will be that lily will take Harry's place and harry will be the one who trains her pretty much like the rol taken by the unspeakables or the flamels in way too many stories.

KrzaQ
07-16-2008, 10:35 AM
I can stand cliches. I even liked the idea about reaching magical maturity around age of 35. But flood of spelling and grammar mistakes forces me to rate it 2/5.
Oh, I forgot to mention hurried plot. And the fact it's abandoned. That pretty much sucks, too.