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Abandoned Wraithspeaker by belleradh - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by fash, Jan 30, 2010.

  1. fash

    fash Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Title: Wraithspeaker
    Author: Belleradh
    Rating: T
    Genre: General/Supernatural
    DLP Category: General/AU
    Pairing: -
    Chapters: 11
    Words: 41,537
    Updated: January 30, 2010
    Published: January 28, 2010
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary:
    Death was the first real memory Harry had, thanks to the wizarding world. He would return the favor, one day, as was only proper. After all – their culture was simply too sick to survive. Vastly AU, pre-Yr.1 progressing.

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5702750/1/Wraithspeaker


    Checked by Minion, January 6, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 6, 2013
  2. DarthBill

    DarthBill The Chosen One

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    That's neat. Like some strange combination of Sixth Sense, X-Men, and Push. I look forward to more of this.
     
  3. ZanyMuggle

    ZanyMuggle Third Year

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    Like most of belleradh's work, it's intriguing and well crafted.
     
  4. Darje

    Darje Groundskeeper

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    Reading good fanfiction gets me pumped, so this obviously got me pumped. I must say, Yulia is one of the OC's that I enjoyed the most. This fic also ellicited some emotion in me, I cared what happened to the characters.

    5/5 for now.
     
  5. Illution

    Illution Seventh Year

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    I love it. Just as I felt all the good genres have been explored Belleradh brings out this gem. The writing is exceptional as always. The storyline flows smoothly and is exiting to read. 5/5
     
  6. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    This is really good stuff. The author really makes you care, and somehow even though this is about as grimdark as shit comes there's an element of hope to the piece that leaves you with a smile on your face at the end. Even if left as a oneshot like thing, this is easily one of the best pieces of fanfiction of its length I've ever read. That being said, I'm very much hoping for more as this fic has the raise-the-stakes type quality I prize in fanfiction, taking a universe, mixing in some new ideas, and turning all the dials up to 11.

    5/5
     
  7. belleradh

    belleradh Murder Princess DLP Supporter

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    You guys really have a habit of inflating my ego.

    I do have a question for those that care. I've got a plot divergence coming up, and the two options I have are as follows:

    Timeskip after a little stage setting, to 4th year where the real plot begins to become evident
    -or-
    Detailed progression up to that point. Which won't look familiar, so no worries on boredom, I can reasonably guarantee.

    Basically, do you want to play with the kids some more, or see them start to really come into their own, quicker, I suppose. Normally I'd not look for outside input, but I'm honestly ambivalent either way. I enjoy this plot and setting, and there's more than enough material in my head to fill in 4 years of development in detail, if I decided to.

    There's also the option of just doing that (4 years) as a standalone separate set of vignettes.

    I already have a set of those planned, detailing the history of Elena and Yulia within The Facility, as well as some of Harry's less pleasant ghost stories.

    If you don't want to bump the thread, a PM or note on my profile would do nicely.
     
  8. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

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    Nice. Very nice. It reminds me of Brian Lumley's Necroscope series. Especially with Harry's ability and his characteristic.
    I like that Harry hates all humanity. Not only muggles or wizards, but all of them.
    5/5.

    Go for the timeskip. Reading about children and their creepiness can be fun, but after a while it gets old.
     
  9. MattSilver

    MattSilver The Traveller

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    My rather glowing, if brief, review I've left at FF.net, but I will just post here and say that this story is indeed rather Library Worthy so far, mostly because it's decent enough so far to be judged on its own merits, and it has tons of potential that might just solidify its place in the Library section.

    As for the timeskip issue, I say go for the detailed progression, but only if there are moments in it that can't be interchanged - if you have character beats that'll happen in the intervening years, can they be moved to 4th year, or will things be sacrificed so the plot moves along briskly?
     
  10. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    4/5 from me. A really entertaining read, one with a premise I'm not forced to hate, definitely library worthy.

    As for the timeline issue, I'm opposed both to flashbacks and skips. Can't you just show us the most important scenes from these three or four years (in chronological order) instead of omitting them all?
     
  11. Skykes

    Skykes Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Great stuff as always, very unique writer.
     
  12. Darje

    Darje Groundskeeper

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    On the timeline issue I agree with KrzaQ, show us the important things so it goes by faster for those wanting a timeskip and we still get the years in between for those of us who want to see them grow.
     
  13. belleradh

    belleradh Murder Princess DLP Supporter

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    Mkay, if FFN continues to refuse my documents, I may have another nine chapter blitz by the time they fix it. 9 and 10 done, 11 at 50%.

    As far as time skip - nope. Decided to go for detail.

    To make up for FFN's phail, I'll toss you guys a bone. One word - Durmstrang. Not so bad now?
     
  14. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Should've time skipped. :<
     
  15. belleradh

    belleradh Murder Princess DLP Supporter

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    Wouldn't worry about it too much. I don't want to get bored writing this, so I'm not likely to make it boring to read.

    I won't be pulling 50k years, however. Simply not patient enough for that, considering my concept idea for this was a five second snip during Durmstrang's entrance for the Triwizard. Yep. Just that.

    Trying to hoodoo the FFN site some. If it works, 9 & 10 will be up shortly.
     
  16. Anubis

    Anubis Seventh Year

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    Will be checking this out shortly - this thread has gotten me interested.

    However, if FFN is giving you that much trouble why not just use PC instead?
     
  17. Raining Ink

    Raining Ink First Year

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    How to "hoodoo" ff.net during it's current (perpetual) state of malfunction:

    1. Document Manager
    2. Edit an existing document (one of your old chapters that's still up)
    3. Copy/Paste your latest into this old one.
    4. Update with new chapter as usual.

    Now, off to read what you've written. ;)
     
  18. Tasoli

    Tasoli Minister of Magic

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    It is very good story. I very much liked it. 4.6/5

    about time line issue don't skip I would like the see a little more about the kids.
    EDİT: now I saw you are going to detail. yay.... I am going to read next chapters now
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2010
  19. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Heh. I was just looking into For Review to recommend this story when I saw this thread.
    Interesting setup and plot. I especially like the characterization of Harry's two companions. Going detail shouldn't be a problem, I was going to suggest the vignette scheme anyway.

    Overall, a very captivating read. 5/5

    Looking forward to Grimm II as well!
     
  20. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Unfortunately, not a massive fan.

    I liked the start. Harry's characterisation was good, as was the fairly unique starting point (partial memories, seeing the dead). But then the whole quest to Russia to find some ghost's daughter started, and from there it started going downhill.

    The ghost merging with Harry was another strike. All the kids at the compound also merging with him was another. Harry's situation was interesting because it was unique and related to Voldemort. Having him merging with people and taking on their memories willy nilly just ruins the idea through overuse.

    The love the author holds towards her OCs almost made me stop reading, especially as they're massively overpowered compared to regular magic. Kids wandering around being able to overpower and outmanoeuvre adults is a further problem. It's like all those fics where a single summer of training allows Harry to go toe to toe with wizards who have been perfecting their strengths for decades. Finally, the angsty "damaged goods" aspects of the characterisations - becoming much more prominent with the introduction of Elena and Yulia - is entirely unwelcome.

    The latest chapter ("All The kings of hell") was slightly better, but still was marred by the presence of super!Elena and a disappointingly 2D Dumbledore.

    Nowhere near as interesting or flawless as Grimm.

    I feel like giving it 2/5, but that's my high expectations of belleradh speaking. As a piece of fanfic, despite the above problems, it's still adequate for reading, so I give it 3/5.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2010
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