View Full Version : Opinions on idea for fic

04-21-2006, 07:26 PM
Hi, I'm writing an AU First Year with a vaguely independant Harry and I was wondering if an alternate focus, in the form of an armguard, that doesn't do much more than be an un-disarmable wand would go down well here?

04-21-2006, 07:49 PM
Hi, I'm writing an AU First Year with a vaguely independant Harry and I was wondering if an alternate focus, in the form of an armguard, that doesn't do much more than be an un-disarmable wand would go down well here?

I actually hissed in an ut-oh way reading this.

That said, many ideas depend on delivery... If you pulled it off in a casual, not a whole chapter of description, kind of way; with a decent theory/backstory behind it, it'd probably be a cool, different idea.

Unable to be disarmed though.. that bugs me a little. Will the thing have like a key lock, so it can't fly away, that why.. or the magical, Amazo the Charmmaster/Armguard maker kind of way?

Manual, unable - Fine, cool even.
Magical charms - Way overdone.

Look forward to a sample.

Lord Osiris
04-21-2006, 11:27 PM
Just a thought have you ever entertained the idea of moving him to like a different school other then Hogwarts? not many of them done that well perhaps you could be one of the first. If your going independent Harry it would be feasable that he atleast check his options.

04-22-2006, 02:43 AM
Taking him away from Hogwarts at 11 would make it an entirely different story.

Sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it, you just need Albus Dumbledore in there somewhere.

Master Slytherin
04-22-2006, 09:22 AM
The best , absolute best, advice I can give you is this: we've all read Philosopher's Stone (or so I asume). Think outsie the box, don't limit yourself to the canon timeline and events, JK's already made millions from that. Just be different and original and altogether interesting with both your ideas and narration.

Don't move him away from Hogwarts. What then'll happen is that he'll move to a school in your home country and it will be completely perfect. He'll probably meet a boy and girl his age as well, maybe even with bushy brown hair and falming red hair. :rolls eyes: So in short, don't.

The armguard idea sounds fine. If it can't be disarmed then it's good to make it have some sort of problem with it. Maybe it gives you evil thoughts or something. remember nothing's perfect.

04-22-2006, 09:51 AM
I don't think armguard thing will work. You need to do lots of wand-movement when performing spells (flicking and swishing and twirling etc.) and you can't do any of that without the mobility of a wand in your fingers. I think many authors forget this little detail when they make spell-casting rings, bracelets, swords, etc...

04-22-2006, 10:29 AM
If there is one thing I absolutely despise, its spell casting swords. Eventually, the author completely forgets about the other 5 wands he gave ot the character using special gems as a focus and the wans core from the Nundu he saved a while back :roll:.

Its so :stained

God I hate swords in general, whether its magical or not. It becomes perfect. Give the amulet thing malicious intent - in that it causes evil thoughts - like IP82 said above.

Seeing how it gives wandless magic, keep it hidden. Harry should use his wand most of the time so Old Dumbles doesnt get any wong ideas. I'm actually looking forward to this one. Slytherin Harry?

04-22-2006, 12:14 PM
Wouldn't it rock if harry while swishing and flicking his sword will either :
A)Sprain his wrist
B)Cut himself a finger

04-22-2006, 12:18 PM
You say you're writing an AU. Will it be a follow-the-canon-with-differences AU? Or will you change the story completely, perhaps keeping the end-of-school-year adventure formula, but making them different mysteries to solve than in canon?

If it's the first, then it's been done a hundred times. If it's the second, then I applaud you for your originality, bravery and vision and will follow your story with great interest.

As for the wand/armguard thing, I think you should stick with a wand. If a wizard isn't good enough to keep himself from being disarmed, then he's not good enough to win the duel anyway, so there's no point making yourself un-disarmable. Plus, I think people have a tendancy to forget that a wand's primary purpose is not as a weapon, but as a multi-purpose tool.

04-22-2006, 01:04 PM
As said above, any item has to have its limits and faults. Maybe the spellcasting item is prone to overload or just doesn't work sometimes for unknown reasons or it blows up when trying spells too powerful or has to be repaired every other week which is very expensive or ...

So there should be enough ways to power down your items.

And whatever you do, remember that nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If your characters don't, then you did.

05-01-2006, 02:25 PM
On the alternate focus issue I was going to have it fire magic, as in not spells, but unfocused or techniques that just require concentration. (I.e. Accio or an unfocused shield spell - nothing like crucio or the like)
For the plot I was going to have him bitten by a werewolf and have Remus as a dueling instructor - work out he's a werewolf in the first class - probably by smell, but maybe by being faster/stronger than he should be. It's going to have the basic plot from PS but I'm going to change it some. Can't tell you how though :D
He's gonna be in Ravenclaw - doesn't like hufflepuff too much, slytherin he's put off by Malfoy and Gryffindor by an obsessive Ron. Could probably have some humourous 'beat the pureblood' at magic scenes in there somewhere.
Harry's also gonna be a lot more studious than in the books and I might have him branch into the dark arts early. Nothing extraordinary like the cruiatus curse at 11 years old but some minor damaging hexes and maybe a curse or two. Hermione will be following him - almost no preconceptions of magic for either of them so...
Gimme some feedback and I'll be happy.

05-01-2006, 03:05 PM
I don't think the werewolf Idea is gonna float well. It makes for sappy relationships, angst, and other types of bullshit.

Worse, it becomes a defining point for your fic. This is not something to be taken lightly. You have to integrate it everwhere! You can;t just have him have the strength boost and just mention him cringing to silver here and there and running away to transform. It's a MAJOR plot device.

Plus, people just don't like Harry having such a major flaw. If you make him a werewolf, the shit is gonna hit the fan. Everyone is gonna fear him, (Angst...), he's gonna have to get a girlfriend that "accepts him as he is" ::roll:: (Sappy bullshit), and plus, he has this huge weakness called silver.

Yes, the idea is new, but think of this:

To my knowledge, there are very little (if any), 7 year independent AU stories that have ever been finished. Most just fade out after the author has used up great ideas. Then, the ideas become cliche. Don't do new stuff just for the sake of having original ideas.

If you want a real hardcore story, (one that we DLP fans will gladly read) don't attach him to people, and have him branch off early into sadism and cruelty. Makes for a good plot when Harry suddenly mirrors Tom (Old Dumbles gets worried). Open the chamber in his 6th year, like Tom.

I hate Lupin. He's a hairy, sappy, emotional train wreck. Plus, you get all these annoying reviews asking for a Harry/Lupin pairing.

But the top of it all?

Hermione. Don't put her into the story. Pretty Please? Why don't you show her as what she would have become without Harry's influence? A bucktoothed, annoying, whining, bitching well...bitch. Ron? You know where to go.

Independent Harry is just that - Independent. Too many authors label a story independent - only to throw in Lupin and Harry's merry band of friends for emotional support.

Never have I seen a story where Harry effectively follows Tom's footsteps. He didn't have anyone. Neither should Harry. If you want pairings, turn Harry into a manipulative bastard that beds girls on a whim.

Don't liken this to canon. We're all sick of dependent Harry, and Independent ones where he just shifts his dependence from Dumbles to Hermione.

Make this radically different. I want to see Slytherin house for what it is. The conniving, the trickery, the slytherin nature. Most fics just have them silent and sneering.

A slytherin has can do so much more than glare, sneer, and insult using terms such as mudblood. Example? Read Mehetabelo's Black Kisses. He's done the best SLytherin representation I've ever seen.

That said, I hope to see a sadistic, twisted story. If i want canon, I'll go read a H/G or H/HR story.

05-01-2006, 03:13 PM
The very concept of Slytherin house is completly idiotic. A true Slytherin would go into Hufflepuff as that's true cunning - you'd be underestimated and ignored until you strike.

What kind of cunning person declares to the entire world that they're sneaky and only out for themselves?

Anyway, more on topic, I generally agree with Amerision - independant Harry should be just that.

However, try not to make him too psychotic: not-in-control-of-all-his-faculties!Harry isn't that great as it tends to lead to ranting. Plus, being crazy is a bit of a weakness.

05-02-2006, 06:24 PM
Read the post. I'm not putting him in Slytherin.
Hermione is not gonna be the one wearing the pants and Harry is not gonna be a cruel, sadistic bastard... for the most part.
I'm doing the werewolf as having a few major weaknesses besides silver - not gonna reveal them til I put out the story though. It's not just gonna be extra strength, enhanced senses, etc. It's gonna really be a curse.
I'm gonna have Remus as a mentor type person than being just there for emotinoal support. Harry is not gonna be this angsty bitch that just cries all day. I fucking HATE emo kids! He gonna be sly, intelligent, brave, but loyal to his friends - gonna have him light-sided but using dark arts in the end.
Ron, well Ron is an arsehole and I hate the little fucker - gonna die a very painful and humiliating death eventually.
I could even branch it off and have Harry manipulate Voldemort for a bit.

That's all for now.