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Complete The Unforgiving Minute by Voice of the Nephilim - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Grinning Lizard, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. Grinning Lizard

    Grinning Lizard Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Title: The Unforgiving Minute
    Author: Voice of the Nephilim
    Rating: M
    Genre: Time-Travel/Action/Adventure
    DLP Category: Time-Travel
    Pairing: Harry/Ginny
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 84,617
    Updated: November 5, 2011
    Published: August 20, 2010
    Status: Complete


    Summary: Broken and defeated, the War long since lost, Harry enacts his final desperate gambit: Travel back in time to the day of the Third Task, destroy all of Voldemort's horcruxes and prevent the Dark Lord's resurrection…all within the space of twelve hours.

    Links: FF.net DLP WbA (unedited)

    * * *

    24 meets Harry Potter. Been up in WbA since before I even got here, and now he's about half-way through it should be posted formally for review, so here goes.

    VotN has written a fairly intense race-against-the-clock piece here. There are some exceptional ideas employed (one of the best Azkaban sequences in the genre) and, as usual, his action scenes are intense and cinematic. Harry here is an adult - a battle-weary, wounded adult - or as much as the character can be. He's straightforward, doesn't mess around (the ever-present time constraints probably contribute to this attitude), and there's an element of maturity to the character and story that is a diamond in the rough when a writer's contemporaries within a fandom are nine-tenths over-sexualised, delusional fourteen year old girls who are intent on ruining it for the rest of us.

    It's also fairly brutal in places, and that's the 'oh snap!' side of brutal, not the 'stop doing that to Neville D8' version.

    Anyway, the best things about this are that it's certain to actually be completed at some point (with a big old VotN duelling extravaganza climax) and that the chapters get better and better as they go on.

    Rated 4.5/5, + easy potential to bridge that gap as it continues.


    Checked by Minion, January 14, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2013
  2. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Messages:
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    It's hard to overestimate the writing style. On the sentence to sentence, paragraph to paragraph, scene to scene level, it's just really aesthetically pleasing to read.

    Azkaban sequence is sheer magic. Just tossing off an Azkaban that well-realized for one chapter, at will? So easy to visualize, such a palpably foreboding and dark atmosphere. Cinematic is a very apt description. Harry battling the Dementors, ramming the gates of Azkaban, the storm, the Abyss, all extremely memorable.

    There's a unique tangibility to magic in this story. It just feels different than from essentially every other story I've ever read. Runic wards, self-transfigurations, detention wards, it's just woven into a constant companion of wizards, not a construct of the story that authors call upon when they need to write a battle scene. It's hard to describe, but I suggest reading it for yourself to see what I'm getting at.

    I think it's the byproduct of an aspect of the writing style, the little touches. For example, in the backstory was quite poignant, with little touches like the breakdown in the Order's morale. Harry testing to see whether Lucius has broken the Imperius Curse.

    It's refreshing cause we're usually deducting the little things (grammar, stupid plot decisions, shitty characters) when reviewing stories, but this time, the little things are just accumulating and making the story that much better.

    The descriptions in general are a huge positive. If VoN mutated into Robert Jordan and just wrote nothing but useless descriptions for endless thousands of pages, I'd be fine with it, and would actually take diligent notes to try and absorb some of his flair.

    The battle scenes rock too. That one little breakout scene from the hospital between Harry and Aurors who are in way over their heads in the first chapter surpasses even the final showdowns of most DLP authors.

    Not because apocalyptic spells or nuclear bombs are going off one after another, but because it's so slickly stylized and, again, the little touches of creativity, like Harry wielding the IV strip and improvising to compensate for his initial lack of a wand. Just virtuoso writing and direction.

    The story structure works exceptionally well, justifying the flashbacks and the medias res. I don't feel the time jump and flashbacks are arbitrary like in most stories that utilize them. For me personally, it somehow melds into the narrative as Harry's past and knowing what's riding on his shoulders. It's a balancing agent that prevents the story from being Harry plowing through the Death Eaters and Horcruxes, reminding us this guy has a history that informs his violence and determination.

    And despite all of these positives, my one single favorite thing about The Unforgiving Minute would probably be the straightforward ruthlessness this Harry displays.

    Usually in these time-travel stories, Harry is either, a) too much of a pussy, and when he goes back in time he either gets sidetracked by Hogwarts, stupid-ass political games and his former friends or b) bombastically sadistic, when the author is immature and just wallows in bloodletting.

    This guy takes care of business.

    5/5. Too good.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2011
  3. Grinning Lizard

    Grinning Lizard Supreme Mugwump

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    Bump, because despite Andromalius saying all that really needs to be said, it needs more reviews to just hurry up and get into the library.

    So review, bitches.
     
  4. Mock Moniker

    Mock Moniker Professor

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    462
    Honestly surprised to still see this in here.

    5/5, VotN is one of my favorite authors.

    I didn't plan to leave a review because it's pretty much all been covered, but I will leave a rating.
     
  5. Shymer

    Shymer Third Year

    Joined:
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    Location:
    France
    I'm in love.

    That's just amazing and there is nothing else to say.

    5/5.
     
  6. MattSilver

    MattSilver The Traveller

    Joined:
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    Love this story. Keeps a brisk pace and keeps it well, and the premise alone and the short time-frame really make the story unique - if Harry gets terribly injured or something right off the bat, all I can think about is how that'll delay him in the coming chapters. Gets hit in the leg and can't heal it properly? Bam, he'll be limping his way through the next few hours.

    The fantastic pacing aside, there's a lot more to love here too, most of which was covered by Andro's review, really. I've read quite a few fics where they show vignettes of the big bad war, complete with random canon characters doing something awesome (Sprout's plant arms. Heh.) or memorable so that the deaths mean the tiniest bit of something, but The Unforgiving Minute has the process nailed one hundred percent. The flashbacks serve as solid interludes and help compliment things nicely, but I would've maybe liked something to clarify the Hufflepuff's Cup thing inside of the story early on instead of reader guesswork confirmed in an author's note.

    So yeah. Harry is a boss. The action is brilliant, the pace breakneck and unflinching. There are a few mistakes along the way, but nobody's perfect and it wouldn't be hard to catch and change 'em.

    Library This Bitch/5.
     
  7. DreamRed

    DreamRed Seventh Year

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    224
    Excellent. I can't add much to the reviews that have already posted except a 5/5. Brutal, fast paced, and no pissing about - this is time travel at it's best.
     
  8. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Location:
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    High Score:
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    Sitra Ahra turned me off at the first chapter, but this is starting out much better. Will vote after I'm done reading.
     
  9. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I didn't like something about the title and I waited long with reading it, but now that I have... Forget Sitra Ahra. Competent and ruthless (and not fucking insane/"dark") Harry is awesome.

    Not sure I like the 24 style, but so far it works.

    5/5 from me.
     
  10. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

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    I'd lost track of the updates on this fic, but needless to say it's incredible. Something VotN should be really proud of.

    EDIT: I forgot, 5/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2011
  11. Zerg_Lurker

    Zerg_Lurker Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Not only has Andromalius' review said everything that needs to be said, it far eclipses anything else that can be said.

    That said, I'm left with few ways to express my feelings for this story.
    Perhaps...

    :awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome:awesome/infinitesimal

    /off to reread everything from scratch.

    edit: Why the fuck won't it go to eleven...?
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2011
  12. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

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    Awesome story, I agree with everything that's been said above me.

    I've added The Unforgiving Minute to our DLP C2, so expect plenty of new readers soon VotN!

    5/5
     
  13. joetheblade

    joetheblade Backtraced

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    really good story

    5/5
     
  14. Kurufinwe

    Kurufinwe Groundskeeper

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    5/5 - Waiting for updates :>
     
  15. ficfan

    ficfan First Year

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    Location:
    Rain City
    Just read the story by myself, and pleasantly surprised.

    1) The writing is pretty decent. It's 'O' for 'Outstanding'

    2) The storyline is great, refreshing and :awesome. It's fast-paced, adrenaline-rushing type of fic, but somehow still touch the depth of beauty kind of literature. The 2nd chapter is surprising, I'd never read any Time Travel described like that before. Flawed, but it's wonderful. Maybe the only comparison to this is Joe's way of Time Travel in WoT. And also, the storyline is very solid and convincing, enough to bring me for liking the Harry/Ginny in this story.

    So yeah, 'O' for 'Outstanding'

    3) Characters... are :awesome. Even the side-characters also characterized greatly. 'O' for 'Outstanding'

    Score for now: (5+5+5)/3 = 5. Perfect, 5/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2011
  16. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    The Ninth Hour posted on FF.net.

    Thanks to all for the kind words and comments.
     
  17. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    The Tenth Hour posted on FF.net.

    It's unbeta'd, but I'm tired of sitting on it. Hopefully my betas get back to me soonish.
     
  18. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    As I think I've posted in the WBA thread: Fucking. Awesome.
     
  19. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    What Portus said. Probably the most badass story on the site, and very well written to boot. Excellent stuff.
     
  20. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I also read this over in the WbA -- good stuff! Checking my review there I gave it a 4.5/5 and rounded down I think, though I could easily see it going up to a 5 depending how things play out.

    All around a very good time travel story that focuses on getting things done right the hell now as opposed to all the sitting around and waiting that we so often see in these things. It not only gives the story an ending to anticipate at a specific time but forces something to always be going on -- a nice change of pace.

    *thumbs up*
     
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