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Palver
09-08-2006, 11:18 AM
Title: Desiring Other Times
Author: YuliaVolkovaROX
Rating: T
Pairing: Unknown
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: AU: The Wizarding World was never intelligent, and Harry Potter is passed over as the BoyWhoLived. His brother stands to gain all, thanks to the prophecy, while Harry is 'prophesised' to die for the cause. R&R, Update: 2 per week
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3144479/1/

High quality, nice approach to magic, smart Harry, no big cliches - this is heading to the best of twin-BWL stories in my opinion.

Inexistence
09-08-2006, 11:34 AM
I really like this, and I don't normally like Harry not being the BWL.

It makes Harry smart but he isn't overly mature, he is still jealous and exaggerates things out of proportion like normal 11 year olds.

I like it a lot and I haven't even finished the first chapter. :D

ip82
09-08-2006, 01:14 PM
Great start. I liked Harry's character and subtle ways of manipulating things at Hogwarts - something definitely worth looking into.

The thing I disliked the most was ultra-powerful Legilimency. The whole concept was eerie similar to Mastermind Hunter, meaning that you can copy someone's entire personality into your brain in a matter of seconds. Now, if you have smart Harry who spends most of his time studying and practicing, why would you utilize such a foolish plot-hole generator? That was simply thoughtless and stupid on the author's part.

Vir
09-08-2006, 01:18 PM
I really like this story, I do wish there was more however :(

CGB
09-08-2006, 02:46 PM
Great story so far, but I agree with ip82 on the Legilimency part. It's just too easy to copy knowledge from unoccluded minds.

Zevrillion
09-08-2006, 03:25 PM
Great story so far, but I agree with ip82 on the Legilimency part. It's just too easy to copy knowledge from unoccluded minds.

Me too, however a great start for a twin-BWL story. 4.4/5<o></o>

Jon
09-08-2006, 09:13 PM
It's all gravy baby! Nice as can be, besides the first person take.

Myst
09-08-2006, 10:14 PM
Probably the best in it's genre. 4.5/5

Lord Ravenclaw
09-08-2006, 10:56 PM
Not too bad, but the stealing Flitwick's knowledge with Legilimency was rather cheap.

Quill Runner
09-09-2006, 12:55 AM
Normally the twins storyline gets on my nerves. However, this one seems determined to not fall into the usual traps, though I'd probably say it stumbles a couple of times.

Overall, it's pretty good, has strong writing, etc. The potions scene was a bit over the top and occurs in just about every first year AU out there.

The legilimancy thing was a bit odd, mostly because it was completely superfluous. Unless the author plans to pit Harry against Flitwick or Dumbledore, any advanced knowledge in spellwork can be attributed to his penchant for learning. Consequently, I'm not sure where the author's headed with that, though I'm willing to give him/her the benefit of the doubt.

My favourite part about this fic is that the lines regardingfriends, foes, allies, Harry's intentions, etc. are still unsettled. Usually they resolve themselves very quickly in these sorts of fics, thereby rendering the fic predictable.

The biggest problem I have with this fic, and it's probably too early to really tell, is that, if the troll scene is any indication, Harry's going to become a Mary-Sue type character tag along for the golden trio. For that reason, I'm going to refrain from assigning this fic an actual grade.

QR

dark.itachi
09-09-2006, 01:06 AM
It's good and I like the plot, but the constant paranthesis (you know what I mean?) take from the story and are really irritating after he puts them in almost every other paragraph.

Niffler Lord
09-09-2006, 05:44 AM
Its an ok Fic. The whole Legilimency thing, as mentioned before, was very very strange and too over-powered. Its supposed to be a rare art but this has half of Hogwarts doing it.

I also didn't like the context of Harry's attitude. It just seemed to have a very weak base as written. I mean in this Harry isn't abused as much as he is slightly neglected. At most I would expect him to be a loner who distanced himself from the family. Not the out right hate he seems to have.

2.5/5

The Demented One
09-09-2006, 12:08 PM
It is pretty good, but I smell a Super!Harry in the future. But, while this fic is one of the best of its kind, it has nothing on Story of The Guys by the Professional.

Dark Syaoran
09-09-2006, 10:17 PM
I guess this goes in Alternates, right? Since its BWLSibling story...

I'll read this later.

ip82
09-14-2006, 07:29 AM
Wow, she really ruined the ending, hasn't she? She says it's all pre-planned and original twist, blah blah blah... Dunno, I just hope she knows what the fuck she's doing screwing up her work like that...

Roguelyvisage
09-14-2006, 04:32 PM
I really enjoyed this story up until she braught in "alternate harry"...it only got worse from there...

LT2000
09-14-2006, 05:37 PM
This one started strong, but lost me when Harry became a squib. OMG SUPER CRAZY ANGST TIME~!

M. Shadow
09-14-2006, 08:36 PM
I agree. A nice read 'til chapter eleven - though some of the events were paced a little fast and needed to be fleshed out in the future - then it all goes downhill. And gets plain *weird*. A disappointing turn to what was a promising story.

Vengashii
09-14-2006, 10:51 PM
This is a nice plot hole in chapter nine:

We zoomed off, and I revelled in the freedom of flying, eyes already searching for a glint of gold. Draco was swooping in and out between the players, doing his utmost best to be in the way of the Chasers on my team. Vincent and Gregory spent their time hitting the Bludgers at each other, occasionally managing to send a Bludger out to attack.

What the fuck? I thought he had vertigo, and now suddenly he loves flying?

RagefulLlama
09-14-2006, 11:17 PM
It said twice that he disliked flights when there wasn't a 'flying apparatus', I believe is the specific term he used, supporting him (planes, brooms, helicopters.)

The stories ending almost made me sick. The fact that he had it planned like that even more so (in the AN early on 5 or 6ish he said that something would happen to make him seem not as powerful. . well I guess it turned into not powerful at all . . . *enter rant about the BS factor that was inserted into what was a good story.

It seems that now it's going to be Jeremy-centric even more of a BS factor, I absolutely HATE stories that are not Harry-centric. It's cute now how the parents suddenly realize how horrible they were to Harry. It seemed to me that they didn't want to form any deep emotional attachments to Harry with his impending death, the prophesised one,to stall for Jeremy. Well now *that* backfired he doesn't have anything left in the magic to make him NOT hate the magical world. Jeez good going . . .

It also seemed like a cop-out to me Other-Harry's and Flitwicks excuse of 'I didn't think he would try out an untested spell' I believe is what they said (or something similar.) Well I hate to remind you it was a SUICIDE spell I can picture it now.

Harry: Well since it came from Flitwicks mind I better make sure it does what it says it does. With no nasty surprises.
*cast spell*
-Dies-
Flitwick: Oops


Complete BS^^.

mcatrage
09-24-2006, 04:36 PM
Started off really good but this whole losing his magic (or getting it back now whatever the author is doing to save it) really just turned me off.

was 4/5 now 2/5 due to direction its heading in

DemonDream
09-25-2006, 06:15 PM
I like this story, actually. It is easily among the most original stories I have ever read, and even more important, he watches his grammar. Though, I am a bit annoyed at the no-magic turn, so this story gets a 4/5.

Sepanto
09-30-2006, 06:42 AM
I'm in chapter 6, and i love the story.
4.8/5

se7en
10-01-2006, 02:46 AM
He has one fucking arm and no magic? And whats with the Other-Harry? What the fuck. He/She should redo chapter 12-where ever He/She is now.

Lady Rebecca
10-01-2006, 10:41 PM
This is one of the only dismembered Harry stories I actually like.
3/5

chronic dragon
10-02-2006, 10:51 PM
I liked it in the beginning but now its just too confusing and something about it makes me not want to read it anymore.