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Tergum Rursus by razz - R

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Moloch, Oct 6, 2006.

  1. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    Messages:
    380
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Title: Tergum Rursus
    Author: Razz
    Rating: R
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama
    Pairing: None
    Status: WIP
    Summary: (AU) His world fallen to irreparable depths, Harry is granted a second chance to set it right. Timetravel, Harry adopts Harry.
    Link: [Ficwad] [Fanfiction]

    Well, I searched this up and I found two results but neither as its own thread. Anyway, this is one of those Dark! Harry stories where he goes back in time. Except instead of going back into the body of a ten year old, he adopts himself. Its an interesting read and this makes two Harry goes back in time where he already exists which I like.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 17, 2006
  2. Dark Lord Rostam

    Dark Lord Rostam Button La Famiglia Midknight

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    1,893
    Location:
    In that thing you call a closet. Better watch out,
    Is this done by the same person who is a member on this site? Oh, and by the way it's a girl.

    I will edit when I read the story.

    I love it. It's really well done and flows well. In my opinion, the parts with Altair are just as good as the parts with Harry. Well done.

    4/5, I don't like it when you change Harry's name. Even if he is adopted. By himself.
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2006
  3. razz

    razz Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Er ... no, I don't care for slash at all. One or two might have slipped into my favorites, but I'd never ever write it.

    This one's also up at ff.net. People at ficwad have been giving me the most terrible ratings! It's rather depressing, that. Illiterate, Train Wreck and Cliché so far. Yay.

    DLR: I don't really like it when people change Harry's name either. I couldn't think of a way to have Harry at Hogwarts, still named Harry Potter, if I didn't want everyone to know he was Harry ... if that makes sense? I suppose I might have found a way around it, but it was a lot easier to just do the switch.
     
  4. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    Messages:
    380
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Ahh, my mistake then. Sorry.
     
  5. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Yeah, this is a decent fic.

    Unfortunately, I don't like writing style like this - lots of angst-like introspection and flashbacks. This poetic tone is ok at times, but when everything is written like this, I start getting a headache from trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

    Also, I'm not sure I quite follow leap in young Harry's characterization. Don't see how a love starved orphan could turn into a copy of Malfoy.

    That's why I got pissed off half way through the second chapter and dropped this fic. It's still a nice enough story, but for very specific audience. I'll probably come back to it once few more chapters are up.
    3/5
     
  6. Nullify

    Nullify Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    270
    Location:
    Hong Kong
    The start was great, and I was eager to read on - but the second chapter paled considerably. It just wasn't very satisfying. Razz's writing style is very unique, but at times it gets to be very confusing. And, like ip, I'm very doubtful - I don't like little Harry characterized as a stuck-up pureblood brat. You'd think he'd turn out better under Harry's care.

    I'll reserve my judgement until the later chapters are up, though.
     
  7. Promios

    Promios Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    120
    Location:
    Sweden
    Cliffhanger :/ Great fic btw...4/5.
     
  8. Darkside

    Darkside Third Year

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2006
    Messages:
    83
    Location:
    United States of America
    I could have sworn this story was already in the library, but a quick search proved me wrong. Great work Razz! 4/5.
     
  9. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    I like the style and the plot so far. It is a bit complicated to read if you prefer a plain cronological story. Otherwise it is interesting to see how some very short snippets enable you to picture the period between young Harry's and Sirius' rescue and Altair's start at Hogwarts. There are hints of Harry/Bellatrix, but until now it is not entirely clear if it is a real pairing and it seems as if Harry is looking for the Horcruxes - if I don't just over-interpret something.

    Other than some of the previous speakers I also like the bits of Altair's character we've seen so far and the explanations for this changes of timeline.
    At the moment there is nothing with this story I don't like except Harry/Bella. This pairing reminds me of Basic Instinct. Never fuck an insane bitch. She might use her ice pick on you.

    Btw: I'd prefer Altair/Luna. Her weird mind and logic might attract him more than the normal Hogwarts Slytherins or Ravenclaws.

    The downside: With seven of razz's thirteen stories uncompleted this story probably won't be updated often and I doubt that it will ever be finished.
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2006
  10. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Purdue University, Indiana
    Very enjoyable. But I have to say, Razz, that the language, while excellent, does detract from the effect of the story. While being verbose is a good thing, try and keep it down a bit, it gets tedious to read a chapte when you ahve to struggle through even the simpler sentences.

    And consider the average reader...their vocabulary and understanding of the English language is...lets say less than good.

    Good stuff 5/5
     
  11. Verse of Darkness

    Verse of Darkness Denarii Host

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    642
    Harry/Luna could be amusing. Keep the good work but use the advice that the other DLP members have given, for some reason his house I'm leaning for is Hufflepuff. Dunno don't ask.
     
  12. razz

    razz Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Thanks guys.

    I will be thinking a lot about everything everyone has said. And it can only get better from there ... I hope. :eek:
     
  13. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Messages:
    6,141
    Gender:
    Male
    I liked the first chapter a lot, but not the second. Little Harry seemed like too much of a bitch. I'll continue to read this, however.
     
  14. SushiZ

    SushiZ Auror

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Island of Time
    I like your story. 4/5. Keep up the good work.
     
  15. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    Abandoned. The author hasn’t written anything in years. This particular story hasn’t been updated since ’06.

    I'm predisposed to like the writing style since it mostly succeeds at being poetic, but it would be a lot easier to decipher if it was actually grammatically correct. There are nonsensical phrases such as:

    and
    There are numerous instances where words with odd but correct secondary (or tertiary) definitions are used where other words would have been more natural.

    Altair is simply annoying. It shows that a Malfoy-esque character is irritating even when its name isn't Malfoy.

    3/5