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Abandoned Time Changes Everything by fictionalcan - K+

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Jeram, Oct 10, 2006.

  1. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Messages:
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    High Score:
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    Title: Time Changes Everything
    Author: fictionalcandie
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama (Possibly under Time Travel)
    Pairing: None so far
    Chapters: 8
    Words: 33,023
    Updated: October 20, 2006
    Published: May 14, 2006
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: First, he thought he'd just go and kill Peter. Then, he had a better idea... steal a timeturner, and use it to save his friends. Now, thanks to Sirius, Harry's life will never be quite the same again. [AU.]
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2939818/1/

    A fascinating tale I stumbled upon recently - the idea is that Sirius uses a timeturner right after the attack from Voldemort, with the idea to prevent the Potters from dying. But what follows is a truly inventive story where Harry has a interesting combination of powers, including hints of echoes of his "original" timeline self. Sirius discovers that changing time has quite unexpected consequences. Recommended.

    4/5

    -J


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 26, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2012
  2. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Yeah, I've read it and it's ok. Problems:

    - Stupid cliche of Lily giving Harry away because her Lord and master Dumbledore asked her nicely.

    - Following canon to the last letter. The first chapter at Hogwarts is almost the same as the start of PS. Understandable, seeing how Harry's AU self is whispering in his ear, but still boring to read.

    Could turn out good if he/she seperates the plot from PS mold.
    3/5
     
  3. LegalAlien

    LegalAlien Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    113
    I think this is quite a nice variation of the time travel and abandonment plot lines. And it's even written quite well.

    4/5
     
  4. Kung_lou

    Kung_lou Sixth Year

    Joined:
    May 19, 2006
    Messages:
    180
    I like it, avoids the more obvious cliche's apart from the one mentioned by IP82.

    I wish the chapters were longer but nothing specific sticks in my craw yet and I'm just waiting to find out 'What is up with Harry?'

    3.5/5
     
  5. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    The Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny hints are really annoying. If you're going to do the PS plot all over again, at least hint to some original pairings. At least the character interaction is different, though. 3/5, could end up being a nice fic.
     
  6. Quill Runner

    Quill Runner First Year

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Messages:
    37
    This fic's pretty good. Normally, I don't go near stories with chapters this short.

    The justification for the separation of Harry from his parents is weak, but I can live with that, because of the novelty factor, which carries this fic a long way.

    4/5.

    QR
     
  7. razz

    razz Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Location:
    Melbourne
    I was really enjoying this at the beginning, but later chapters have considerably lagged.

    It is well written, and I do quite like the characterization of a know-it-all Harry. Not really sure what the significance of all the languages are, or if they'll even come into play, but that's kinda cool, imo.

    I would have thought the most interesting part would have been Harry's relationship with Sirius, and getting to know his parents - but the author seems to have completely brushed past this (at least until Christmas). And yeah - the initial seperation is oh-so-very, very weak.

    My greatest problem is the canon exerts, that in the last few chapters have repeatedly cropped up copied word for word. And if the plot is heading towards a precise mirror of PS, then, well ... that's just boring.

    I might have given it a 4 at the start, but right now it's a 2 (for sheer unoriginality from canon) - although I really, really hope it'll get better soon, because there is loads of potential.
     
  8. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2006
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    1,052
    Location:
    Purdue University, Indiana
    I can't understand why you people are being so critical of it. The POINT of this story is to show Harry's character, not to deviate from canon.

    How retarded would it be if Harry's future self was present in this Harry's mind, while this Harry was going through an entirely different set of experiences?

    Its called a paradox...it wouldn't happen.

    The story itself is one of the best ones I've read yet. Sure, the plot isn't super original, but that doesn't matter that much. The point is that Harry will encounter the same obstacles, but face them in a logical, rational and most importantly intelligent manner. And while it'll be the 'same', it'll also be radically different, because the characterization is perfect for DLP, without the 'dark' part...Harry won't be a useless moron with a stick of wood in his hand, he'll be a proactive, intelligent person with the understanding that the piece of wood in his hand canbe used to kick some serious ass.

    The author is extremely skilled, his/her characterization is flawless, and their innovativeness, despite sticking to the POS canon, is intriguing and creative.

    5/5, this is one of the best fics I've ever read, and I can't wait for more.
     
  9. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    As several people already pointed out it is well written and therefor enjoyable. The plot has several upsides and also problems, some already mentioned, too (i.e. the parents).

    I really like how the author tries to subtly change the canon plot with Harry using his knowledge and mind-reading abilities (obviously more advanced than legilimency).

    The downside: In several occasions the author alters canon a bit but some paragraphs later he returns to canon only to stick to PS/SS as close as possible.
    - Snape just awarded Harry one point – Ron mentions how extraordinary this is – and later the trio, especially Ron, rant in front of Hagrid how much Snape loathes Harry.
    - Harry starts to influence Draco, but then the remembrall and broom scenes are copied from canon – the latter altered with stupid comments that both Harry and Draco are only playing a show for the lot on the ground.

    The broomstick scene ruined lot of my interest in the story. At the moment I think the author has an interesting concept but he is too worried not to leave canon too much. I'll stop reading the story if or when the author includes the canon troll scene.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2006
  10. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Normally I don't touch fics like this one (despite writing a time-travel fic myself), but this one turned out surprisingly well. It sticks a mite bit too closely to canon for my tastes, yet that could be written off as the author being new.

    4/5
     
  11. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    The author is following canon far too much. Not a bad concept but very poor performance.

    2/3
     
  12. FairyQilan

    FairyQilan First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
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    Location:
    Florida
    Harry himself is interesting, but some changes could be made, particularly in the actual events that happen around school. I do like the way Harry and Dumbledore interact as well. Their behavior promises interesting dialogue later on.