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Abandoned 'The Binding' by nuhuh - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Nuhuh, Nov 12, 2006.

  1. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    Title: The Binding
    Author: nuhuh
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Mystery/Supernatural
    Pairing: None yet
    Chapters: 7
    Words: 36,871
    Updated January 03, 2008
    Published January 01, 2008
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: Harry Potter is dead, murdered by the wand of Voldemort. Dumbledore commits his most loyal follower Minerva McGonagall to initiate his contingency plan for Harry Potter's failure. It costs the woman her soul and puts the boy-who-lived on the path of the forsaken.
    New link: PatronusCharm
    DLP category: Time Travel



    I have posted in the 'Work by Authors' forum. That is where I will be primarily posting. I have the story elsewhere but it hasn't been reworked like it will be here. Thanks for checking it out~


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 26, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2012
  2. SushiZ

    SushiZ Auror

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    This has to be one of the best stories of its genre i have ever read. 5/5. I also loved your summary, thats what attracted me in the first place.
     
  3. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Well writen and interesting, even if at times it gave away rather strage religious feeling (Minerva calling the ritual 'blasphemous' and such). I'm also a bit sceptic of Ginny being included into the 'holy trio'; I just hope Harry won't try to recreate his previous life (if he has his memories, that is)...
     
  4. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    Wow! Thanks, I wasn't expecting such a quick and positive response. Hopefully with more reviews like yours it won't end up in the 'Trash bin.'
     
  5. invisdible

    invisdible Second Year

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    This is a very interesting start; of course, without seeing what the ritual did to Harry exactly, I can't tell how much I'll like the rest, but I look forward to Harry's journey "down the path of the forsaken".

    Spelling + grammar are good too, which helps.
     
  6. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    ip82~

    'Holy trio?' that's funny, sorry if that's a common term but I'm hearing it for the first time. I would expect more 'strange religious feeling,' there are supernatural elements in the story obviously beyond magic. I understand a lot of people are uncomfortable with that, I hope you won't discontinue reading it just because of that. Don't worry there will be no 'second coming;' just some exploration on how the characters feel about time travel to that extent.

    Ginny...well, I just wish Rowling would've developed her relation with Harry more to explain why he's going out with her. Right now I'm chalking it up to having hots for a red head. There are no pairings for this story yet, I am not tying it down as that. The story is decidedly focused elsewhere. Thanks for looking at what I have posted so far.
     
  7. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    invisdible~

    The effects of the ritual on Harry will be slow to reveal themselves out right. Most discerning readers will pick up on at least a few things right away. I want to reveal things as they would be revealed to the main characters. Yes, and his journey on the path of the forsaken will begin slowly as well.

    Thanks for comments on the spelling and grammar. I assume that is something not usually found?
     
  8. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    Erm...try not to double post, simply edit the post before if you ahve something to add.

    I'll edit this when I'm done reading your fic.

    Edit: Not much to say, really. I was a bit suprised that McGonagall survived, but that was interesting. It's off to a decent start, the spelling and grammar certainly helps. I guess I'll just have to wait for it to progress.

    I was somewhat surprised that Fawkes would take part in a dark ritual.
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2006
  9. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Yeah, I'm not against inserting some form of religion, as long as you explain it. For instance, 'blasphemous' would indicate there are some sort of holy scriptures opposing things such as Minerva did. Is it the muggle Bible? Or do wizards have their own religion, prohibiting certain forms of magic? Things like that...
     
  10. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    this is suprisingly well written, and its actually a new story idea that ive never seen before. Fawkes partaking in a dark ritual was a little unexpected and i was wondering if you were going to explain it somewhat later on in the story.
     
  11. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    Yarrgh!~
    Thanks for the clue about editing instead of double-posting. Will keep that in mind for future responses. Yes it is surprising for Fawkes to take part in the ritual but there are two characterizations I am focusing on here. One, that he is a light creature, that has actively taken a part in the current fight between light and dark, and that he is extremely loyal to Dumbledore; enough so that he even responds to HP detecting an incredible loyalty to his master in the boy.

    That said, it is difficult to reveal why Fawkes took part because the only person who knows that is Dumbledore, and he is dead. The characters will only be able to speculate and may never know exactly. Since you know what I feel motivates the creature you can guess at why.

    ip82~
    I will not be creating a magical holistic system/book. Not one that is spelled out. Most definitely no magical equivalent to the Bible. The idea I am conveying by using the particularly religious inclined diction is the severity of what McG is being forced to do. I will post the next couple of chapters and I think it might be better to return to this question then. Thanks for the feedback.

    The-Hyphenated-One~

    First, very amused by your handle. Thank you for the comments and read above about your question regarding Fawkes. I am happy you found the story well written, it is very encouraging.
     
  12. Ray

    Ray Second Year

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    Surprisingly original and very well written. I'll admit to having been a bit discouraged at first, what with all the stuff about suicide and marriage at the beginning, but after that, it was all good. I especially liked Harry mocking Voldemort about the fact that he was going to die peacefully, while Voldemort had to stay among the filth of the wizarding world.
     
  13. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    ahh, i disregarded fawkes intense loyalty for dumbles, but now that i think about it, it makes perfect sense. Im glad you enjoy my handle(if by handle you mean my avater?) and thanks for the quick response to my question.
     
  14. invisdible

    invisdible Second Year

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    I believe by "handle" he refers to your screen-name.

    nuhuh: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I inferred from your above posts that the ritual is a ''unholy'' religious ritual. If this is the case, will other "holy" and "unholy" elements be appearing in your story? (Angels and demons, prayer, etc.) To be honest I'm not that fond of religion and just want a heads up as to how thorough it will be.
     
  15. Sanctimonius

    Sanctimonius Guest

    I'm with everyone else here: very good start to this cliche free story. Hopefully you'll update fast, as this looks promising.

    Edit:
    About religion... the idea of a wizarding equivalent to a bible sounds pretty cool. And as far as demons and angels go, I don't really care, just make it good and not overly pious... that is if you do do it.
     
  16. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    Ray~ I am very pleased to read that you found it original so far. Fics in this genre can be very difficult to write since so much is done or overdone already. Still I had to expel the plot hounding me and will try and keep this as original as possible. With the marriage/suicide I wanted to show the difficulty of the time without doing the whole "and he stood on the field of battle, all his loved ones dead and VM lying at his feet shrunken in his robes where he had struck him with pure love...but he had no one to live for anymore," routine. Still I did kill off the entire trio so I guess I fell in that trap to a certain degree. Anyway, do let me know any criticisms or encouragements you might have.

    The-Hyphenated-One~ as invisdible (that name is a tongue twister even in my head) said, I was amused by your screen name. And you are welcome for the quick response. It's only right since you reviewed the story.

    Invisdible~ I can honestly say I did not think the allusion to religious elements would cause this much debate but since I myself have come across stories of Harry as a herald of the goddess, Gabriel's apprentice etc., I understand your wariness.

    I can not say more on what you have written. I ask you please to wait my answer on why I call the ritual unholy after the fourth chapter. But I promise you the characters will not be joining the ‘holy order of the Seraphim’ or something like that.

    Sanctimonius~ I am trying my best to keep the story cliché free, glad you agree with the rest. I am very happy with the positive response. As I have said before there will be other than magic super natural elements in the story.

    But I will NOT be preaching, getting the word with a capital 'W' out or making Ron Weasley the next Pope Pius writing his confessionals on his past magical heretical ways. If I use Angels/Demons I hope that they will not grate on your nerves. But right now I have so many other things to establish, elements to reveal that it is way too early to even talk about this.

    Religion issue for anyone reading the fic or forum
    In case you ‘dislike’ religion it is difficult for me to judge if you will find this story unappealing or appealing. What I can say is that the story is not here to apologize, demonize or promote any religion or the idea of religion as itself. Religious allusion and elements have been part of fiction as long as fiction has existed. Those elements have an identity and tradition not only in ‘scriptures’ but also in fiction written where the writers have modified them for their world.

    This is a Harry Potter fanfic guys and girls. I am just trying to get an idea on black and white and byte.

    I appreciate all your reviews/ concerns and especially encouragements. I am working on the final stages of the next installment and I hope you will stick it out.

    nuhuh
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2006
  17. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Decent start, you need to work on your dialogue though, in my opinion.
     
  18. Stalicon

    Stalicon High Inquisitor

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    I liked it a lot, though by now I'm sure your ego has heard that enough :p

    I did find something that contradicts itself in your story though... It said the ritual needed a willing sacrifice but how can McGonagall, who is being forced by Dumbledore, count as a willing sacrifice?
     
  19. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

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    TheIllusiveOne~ anything specific about the dialogue? Grammar? Pace? Appreciate the critique but don't know exactly what aspect you think needs looked over.

    Stalicon~ (joke)heh! no my ego can never be satiated!! (joke) I'm sure as the story goes along I may be coming back to these first few reviews and tell myself 'they used to like it.' Anyway, yes I think you bring up a good point, and that is something that will be cleared up in or by chapter four. Up to now, her choices were to refuse the called in debt and so losing her magic and possibly life, or repaying her debt and in the process damn/lose her soul. It's a lose lose situation but obviously she chose the latter and why is that will be explained in chapter 4.
     
  20. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    It's unrealistic. You're using the dialogue scenes between characters to give information to the readers instead of using it to add to the story. Nobody talks like that. It's a mistake a lot of fanfic authors make, IMO.
     
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