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WIP The Journal by Bear-Bell - K+

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Shezza, Dec 3, 2006.

3.25/5, 8 votes
  1. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #1
    Title: The Journal
    Author: Bear-Bell
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Alternates
    Pairing: None so far
    Chapters: 28
    Words: 54,563
    Updated: April 18, 2012
    Published: June 10, 2006
    Status: WIP
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2984681/1/
    Summary: Harry finds a certain journal when he's only 4 years old.And now, because of this, everyhthing will change. AU.


    I was browsing through a C2 archive and I found this. Basically, Harry finds the Diary when he's four, and he and 'Tom' grow up with plans to reform the wizarding world. So far, it hasn't been a bad read, and there's an original twist on Harry's first year where he doesn't give a damn about the stone.

    As for pairings, the author was going to make it Harry/Tom, but decided that it was too paedophillic, and was thinking about H/Hr and H/Luna, (See bottom of chapter 13) but decided that it was too common. If you want a rare pairing, you might as well ask.

    For me, so far, 5/5


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 26, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2012
  2. Inquisition

    Inquisition Canadian Ambassador to Japan DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #2
    I may be lazy, but I'd appreciate a link.
     
  3. Silke

    Silke Second Year

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    Dec 3, 2006 #3
  4. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #4
    Crap! I forgot the link! Bloody hell, every fricking time I submit one of these, I always forget the fricking link! Sorry man.
     
  5. Cell

    Cell Gunner of The Black Poison DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #5
    LMFAO.That's why there's a preview post.No worries though,no one is perfect.
     
  6. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

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    Dec 3, 2006 #6
    It was decent until about chapter 10, then it got really boring and stupid. Basically Canon with Tom pitching in once in awhile, and Harry being unnaturally obsessed with Malfoy. Complete waste of time, 2/5.
     
  7. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #7
    I actually liked it a bit. The Author should have done a timeskip, but it was fine enough.

    3/5
     
  8. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Dec 3, 2006 #8
    Hmm... I'm pretty sure I already posted this at some point...
     
  9. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #9
    Really? I searched the author's name and didn't get anything relevant, and I didn't see the point of searching the title, since it's a pretty common phrase. If you did, then sorry.
     
  10. Inquisition

    Inquisition Canadian Ambassador to Japan DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #10
    To coin a phrase, no worries. It's not as if it's life and death or anything - I'm just really lazy.

    This is what I absorbed from that post. ;)

    On to the critique, spelling and grammar mistakes ahoy.

    And why wouldn't Tom be the least bit angry that Harry 'vanquished' his elder self? And then later he helps to defeat himself? Some parts of the story make sense and are well-written, and then others seem as if they were written by an eight year-old.

    Overall, I think it's a 3.5 / 5.
     
  11. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Dec 3, 2006 #11
    Hmm, it's gone. It could have been removed... *shrugs*

    Anyway, not a bad story but it seems it has run its course. The author seems way too itchy to speed things up, probably so she could get some male sex organ into Harry's pants (likely Tom's). Not sure I see some bright future of this story.

    Still, it's interesting enough for now.
    3.8/5
     
  12. MrINBN

    MrINBN Unspeakable

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    Dec 3, 2006 #12
    I agree with the others. Good, but has a bit of a WTF factor in certain parts. Though it did get me thinking. If poltergeists can manipulate solid objects (and so can Tom, to some extent), then wouldn't the goblins have wards against spirits on the vaults so they can't be robbed?
    3.7/5
     
  13. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Dec 3, 2006 #13
    it honestly reminded me of how i portray Anko in Inter. :S
     
  14. Hadoren

    Hadoren High Inquisitor

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    Dec 4, 2006 #14
    The link was deleted. It's one of those stories in the stickie Read This Before Posting Or I'll Kick You're Ass by Dark Syaoran

    How do I know? Well, I was thinking of posting this story - but I saw it there.

    4/5, although in the later chapters you get kind of tired of Pathetic!Harry.
     
  15. HardcoreHobbit

    HardcoreHobbit Second Year

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    Dec 4, 2006 #15
    This is awful. I thought the spelling mistakes in the first chapter were because it was from Harry's POV, but then I read the authors notes. I cannot read this. It's utterly stupid.

    Added to this is the fact that this guy seems to think America rules the world.

    Just.... no

    1/5
     
  16. Adam

    Adam Second Year

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    Dec 4, 2006 #16
    I read one chapter and gave up.

    1.5/5, for making the effort to use a spellchecker, even though it missed 75% of the mistakes.
     
  17. The Terror

    The Terror Squib

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    Dec 4, 2006 #17
    Oh ye suffering gods!

    I got through the first two chapters and started on the third, and suddenly I'd had enough. I just couldn't take it any more. The spelling is atrocious, and the plot, while interesting, is executed in such a juvenile way at best.

    This may be the great sin of FF.net; anybody with a computer can post there, believing that they're Shakespeare reincarnated. If I ever do decide to write an HP fic, believe me, I'll post it here to take advantage of constructive criticism so I can GET BETTER, something that I don't see "Bear-Bell" ever doing...

    -2.5/5, for a waste of perfectly good electrons and LCD abuse.