Title: Harry Potter: The Rise of a Warrior
Author: Cervus
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Post OotP: The rebirth of the Dark Lord has been acknowledged. War shall soon descend on the wizarding world. Dark times lie ahead. Can the Ministry prevent itself crumbling from within? Is Hogwarts really the safest place for the young? Many questions will be asked, not all will be answered. When conflict rules, and friend is distrusted as much as foe, the wizarding world shall witness; The Rise of a Warrior...
Link: http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=117367 (Link fixed Nov/2012, -Sesc)

 

Read your story and it seems very promising. Looking forward to the next part.

 

I just uploaded a new chapter to this. It hasn't been fully beta read yet though.

 

love it.... UPDATE SOON.

 

Liked the new chapter. Looking forward to the next one.

 

not bad, not bad at all.

 

i cant wait for more...i wanna know more about the book.

 

I can't work on the next chapter for a couple of days because my PC is going in for repair. It shouldn't take me long to write it once I get the computer back, I already know what will be happening... It's just a matter of putting the words on the page.

 

I'm not getting very far with this at the moment. My computer is still in repair and I don't know when I will be getting it back. I just had a rather amusing shouting match with a customer service adviser, plenty of rude words used on my part, but they still won't give me an answer (infact the stupid bitch hung the phone up on me). I'm gonna go down there in person tommorow.

The good news is that this has given me plenty of time to work on the plot. I think it will be a good story, plenty of twists and turns in the main plot line and there will be one or two side plots in there too. I have plots for seven charactors, i'm not sure i'm going to use them all though as they could become confusing to read (and write), but some of them can be used for seperate stories (or a sequel, but I have no plans for this and don't intend on making any until this story is nearly finished).

Hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer before i can get back to working on the actual chapters again.

 

I like it and i'll be looking out for more! Fight the bitch Cervus! give her the ol one, two if it means you can update sooner!

 

I finally got my computer back (after one fucking month dammit!) and have gotten round to finishing the next chapter. You can expect an update within the next week depending on how long it takes my beta to look over it. This chapter starts the progressive decent into a darker Harry.

 

YAY!

I finally managed to get the next chapter of this story up on ff.net. It is yet to be beta read though so please take that into account when you read it. There shouldn't be too many problems as I think I have ironed most of them out. Last I heard from my beta she was in hospital, I hope she gets better soon.

I know that I promised this update a long time ago but I really wanted to release this in it's fully beta'd state.

Any comments that you have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

 

its just taking a while for it to get posted.....

 

Seems to be working fine now, although ff.net would not let me view the chapter until I cleared my cache.

 

Awesome work Cervus i did enjoy it dispite some hiccups with Grammer and Spelling.

 

Yeah I know about the grammar and some spelling mistakes always slip past me. I try to go over each chapters a couple of times to iron out the majority of the problems. My beta is very good at catching them sort of things but I think she's ill at the moment.

 

I've been following this since chapter 3, I think, but only now it is becoming more clear where this is going (darkish Harry), so here's the review.

You're obviously making a huge effort to properly develop the plot and characterisation, which is always commendable. The problem is that you're overdoing it. Everything is happening way too slowly and with too many details, which makes this story at times overbearing to read. I'll be the first one to admit that I'm doing the same thing in my story (probably coz I actually like nicely developed and logical plot), but there are limits to everything.

Other than that, the story has a lot of potential, especially with all the foreshadowing, detailed characterisation (something that most dark stories lack) and original plot twist (Harry taking Voldemort's character traits instead of his knowledge). I especially liked how you described confrontation between Harry and Dumbledore in the last chapter - the best scene so far.

I'm still not completely sure where are you going with this (drama with dynamic bad-to-evil transformation of Harry's character, or an action story with Grey Harry, or something in between), but I guess that's a big plus - in most fanfictions you can more or less predict the direction plot will take.

To conclude, while it's still not clear where this is going (even after 50k words!), for now it seems like an interesting story, with a lot of potential. Now, if only you were to speed things up a bit, it would be even better.