This or That; The Mature Version.

[Jon]

History; it began one lonely summers night, and it now continues on here; It's This or That, Except, instead of just choosing, it is;

Choose who you'd rather Bang in a Sensual, Violent, Derranged, or Shuu-like way!

To start it off, the same one which was first posed.

Fleur or Arwen?

[the-caitiff]

Arwen, only the power of the House of Aerosmith can summon pretty blue horses that kick that much ass.

Here's one for yuck factor; Janet Reno or Condelezza Rice?

[Dressed in Black]

Condelezza Rice. Oh how I like the mocachina womens.

Arwen Undomiel or Padme Amidala

[Xiph0]

Padme.

Upsides:

> Not having to hold her hair when you Sanchez her.
> Sanchezing her.


Ann Coulter or Ayn Rand?

[Paimon]

I would make Ann Coulter my slave. :D

Bellatrix or Narcissa?

[the-caitiff]

Bella all the way, I love me a kinky bitch.

Carmen Electra or Carmen Miranda?

[Taure]

Carmen Electra.

Brad Pitt or Jude Law?

...What are you looking at me funny for?

[Yarrgh!]

Jude Law, 'cause he's a Gigolo robot in a movie.

Me or Cervus?

[Taure]

Sorry Yarrgh, but you can't beat Cervus' manboobs.

More towards the original concept of the thread:

Padma or Pavarti?

[Yarrgh!]

Both.

And yes, I can beat Cervus's manboobs with my forearms of suppleness +8

Hermione or Hannah Abbot? Think carefully >_>

[Jeff]

Hermione. Based purely on Emma Watson.

Tonks or Fleur.

[Yarrgh!]

Tonks. But if both're available, then I won't complain ;)

Madame Maxime or Sprout?

[Cervus]

Tonks. But if both're available, then I won't complain ;)

Madame Maxime or Sprout?

Sprout, I've got something that needs milking and she's good with her hands.

NakedFleur or Hermione_CaughtNaked

[Paimon]

Sprout, I've got something that needs milking and she's good with her hands.

NakedFleur or Hermione_CaughtNaked

Naked Fleur, all the way.

Scarlett Johansson
or
Angelina Jolie

[Dressed in Black]

Angelina Jolie

George Clooney or Richard Gere

[Litha Riddle]

George Clooney hands down :D

Dobby or Winky

[Kiklo]

...Dobby

McGonnagall or Petunia

[k_writer]

Petunia with a bag over her head.

Dumbledore


or


Snape?

[the-caitiff]

I'm going to choose suicide via biting off my tongue. Always remember that there is always a "fuck you" option...

Movie Snape or Book Snape?

[madeyemoody]

Book snape

V from v for vendetta in a speedo

or
Captain Barbossa in a thong

[Xiph0]

Choosing the suicide option this time (I figure we have one or so every 2 pages).


A crack-addicted hooker who's been with 20 clients in the previous hour.

or

Ginny

[Dressed in Black]

Ginny, hands down. I'd hit that vagina all night long baby. I don't understand, anyway - she's the equivalent of "the most boneable chick" in high school that everyone jacks off to in the shower. Canon-wise, anyway.

Frodo Baggins or Samwise Gamgee

[Yarrgh!]

Sam, he's already submissive to 'Master Frodo'. God knows what these Hobbits get up to on lonely Samhain nights :p

And yeah...Ginny >_> She's not 'the most boneable chick',. that'd be Cho/Patil twins, but she's far, far better than a crackwhore who's 'serviced' 20 customers in the past hour.

So...

The Balrog...or the Witch King of Angmar? Err...assume that the Balrog won't burn your willy off :p

[Dark Minion]

Of course the Balrog - we'll perform some really hot stuff.

Ork or Uruk-Hai?

[k_writer]

Uruk-Hai. Less slimey than Orcs.


Blow job from Ali G


or

Borat?



EDIT: In a famale's case, going down town.

[Son of the Forsaken]

I choose suicide--Hangs self from ceiling--

Now the question is:

Madam Rosmerta(sp?) nude

or

tonks nude

(personally I'd choose both:))

[I LOVE GINNY]

Everyone knows I have a Rosemereta fetish, so I'd have tonks change into her. :)

Padma or Parvati.

[The Dark Lord Squash]

Both or course.

Fem Blaise or Daphne?

[Socialist]

Daphne ftw.Blaise doesn't do much for me.

Alysson Hannigan

or

Charisma Carpenter

[Dark Minion]

Both in a threesome. (But Alysson Hannigan doesn't exist :p )

Hermione Granger or Lisa Simpson?

[Socialist]

Hermione

Huzzah?! Alysson does so exist.Willow doesn't :>

Lily Evans

or

Lily Potter

[Dark Minion]

Alysson does so exist.Willow doesn't :>


*Blunt object crashes down on your head* (http://www.google.de/search?hl=de&q=Alysson+Hannigan&btnG=Google-Suche&meta=)

Lily Potter.

"I'm your father, Harry. Mwuhahahahahaha"


fem!Blaise or boy!Blaise?

[Quidam]

Boy.

Gandalf or Voldermort.

I am getting murdered for this one

[Kiklo]

Gandalf

Vash or Lord Ravenclaw :D

[Yarrgh!]

Dude...both, of course. Just for viewing, though. It'd go like this:

Vash: *rapes*
Raven: Caw!
Vash: No, no, no...cawk!

Okay...lets try not to repeat these, eh?

You've already got the lovely TinnTam. Now...kekeke Bloodlust or Silent to join in? :p

/me flees already, no point in running after me!

[Inquisition]

Isn't Silent the "Kinky Wench"? ;)

Harry on the bottom

or

A blowjob from Snape?

[david9]

Snape, because he'd probably kill me afterwards so I wouldn't have to live with myself.

Grawp or The Squid or Aragog?

[Quidam]

I'd have to say Grawp. Fucking animals is a no-no.

Raped by Fred Weasley or chained up by George Weasley?

[Dark Minion]

Chained up - if it's done with stainless steel.

Cool steel on bare skin ... mhmm ...


Canon!Daphne or Surarrin'sPerverseFantasy!Daphne ?

[Inquisition]

Are you fucking kidding? Surry's!Daphne FTW!!!!

Do I realy need to explain why?

Right, a recently used blow up doll of Snape

or

A frequently used picture of Dumbledore?

[Quidam]

Picture. The last thing I want is a Snape sex item.

Ron with boobs or Hermione with a penis?

[Amerision]

Tranny!Hermione. The're both guys, so you might as well dutchfuck the one with the best tits.

Fantasy!Daphne or PsychoticFem!Harry?

[Inquisition]

PsychoFem!Harry. What can I say? I'm a sucker for green eyes.

DeathBed!McGonagall

or

DeathBed!Figg

[Amerision]

DeathBed!McG.

At least she'll be able to make sexy cat noises.

David Hasselhoff in Public or the Fat Guy with Leprosy in front of your parents?

[Dark Minion]

Hasselhoff with his Knight Rider hairdo. At least he looks girlish.

A sheep or a goat?

[Amerision]

A Sheep of course. Sheep have fluffy, sexy little tails.

Brosnan or Craig?

[Dark Minion]

Brosnan, 'cause Craig is so cool that my willy would freeze off.

Male sheep or female llama (they are fluffy, too, and have similar cute tails)?

[Amerision]

Sheep.

You can cuddle with a fat fluffy sheep. Llamas tend to be antsy.

A rotten watermelon or a rotten eggplant?

[Dark Minion]

The watermelon - if it is really rotten and squishy. An eggplant wouldn't satisfy my needs.

Now, assuming you are on an isle with only goats and llamas and without any sheep:
goat or llama?

[Amerision]

Llamas.

You got to love the fluffy tails. Plus Goats tend to be violent.

Cat or Dog?

[Jon]

I'd tap some of that mrs Norris. ;D

Merrill, or Gio?

DUN DUN DUN!

[Amerision]

Merrill.

Gio would probably lecture me on politics while I'm banging away. Merrill still has gender confusion problems, so it wouldn't be totally gay.

Anal violation by two fat guys in public or blow jobbing half of Manchester United...and swallowing...in front of your father.

[Dark Minion]

Anal violation. Beforehand I'd eat loads of Chili con carne and then my acid ass juice would burn their members off.


Raping the tight lovely anus of Xiph0

or

being raped by 28-year-old hot lesbian Swimdraconian (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?p=91907#post91907)

[Leibhaftige Finsternis]

being raped by 28-year-old hot lesbian Swimdraconian (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?p=91907#post91907)


Dumbledore

or

Hagrid

[Jon]

Dumbledore, I'd get me some Old wizard lovin'

(Alive)Paris Hilton, or (Dead)Marilyn Monroe?

[Yarrgh!]

Dead!Marilyn Monroe...sans the rotting :p She was hawt.

Paris Hilton is just butt ugly, I can't find her attractive at all. Maybe its the vacant eyes that somehow still emote "I want cock", or perhaps its the fact that she's just so goddamned ugly...

Back on topic: Ronaldinho or Del Piero? The latter is the correct choice, but still, I'm interested in seeing other opinions :p

[Darius]

Soccer wise Ronaldinho, otherwise Del Piero, Ronaldinho looks like a fucking horse.

[Dark Minion]

What do you have against a fucking horse?

And what about the next question?

[Amerision]

Sheep.

A fat, hairy, recently sexchanged girl with a bad case of yeast infection (and then her ugly ass huge male partner)

or

getting banged up the ass by a horse and donkey and then their female mates + $100

[Dark Minion]

I'd take the 100 bucks, buy a Henderson, and test it on both the Horse and the Donkey ... then I'd bang their female counterparts.

A naked, sheared sheep or an unsheared, woolly llama?

[The Dark Monarch]

Wooly Llama ( why does llama have 2 Ls )

Watching your parents have sex covered in mayonaise

OR

Having Sex while covered in mayonaise with the fat lunch lady from elementary school ( You know, the one with the hairy Mole on her nose.)

[altas]

Watching your parents have sex covered in mayonaise but only if i could look away when the rotting corpse(yes i said corpse they died in a fire this was before the advent of dna scans) were exposed if not then id totaly take the lounch lady and then resolve to having a sex change after wards


for the guys(or lesbians)
dead!transfigured!into!a!basilisk!cannon!ginny(wit h the eyes still open) or my version!ginny who has had multiple partners at 13(and contracted 3 varieation of magical aids)



for the ladys(or homosexual men)
this guy go here http://www.batistapereira.com.br/?area=materias&id=18
and search for this entery 1/6/2007 just press ctrl-f and enter it
or this guy http://www.shroudofturin4journalists.com/demolay.htm

[Dain Bread]

Hm. I would have to say...GTFO before you're eaten alive in this forum. This thread died about 5 months ago dipshit, let it lie. Lurk more, got it memorized?

And another thing, I did not see a single sentence in the first two paragraphs that a human of average intelligence could understand.

[altas]

i am from botswana(thats in africa) i work in a freaking diamond mine ok. i am also aflected with a deasese called giantism which mean i am partaily blind with a tomur in my brain that sits on the putuatary gland you know the one that regulates grouth hormones in puberty that forces it to produce all your life and the surgery at my age has a 75 percent death rate. I am sorry if my bad spelling and grammer offended you some how. to someone with average human i.q. ergo(thats pronounce air-go) not in the negitives that would have been a quite clear post ok. just so you know i probibly outscore you on every iq test you've ever taken, simply becase i score 50 points above supeeroir in my native dialect if you test me in english id score 25 points above supeerior.
EDIT:> oh yes one more thing the reason i cant get a good job is beacause my job is the good job my nation is one of the worlds largest prudusers off near perfect quality diamonds

[Mindless]

Ahem. The point, dickweed, is that Necro-ing is a bad idea. So don't do it. And your sob story? I was somewhat sympathetic up to the point where you went and said you could outscore dear Dain Bread on an IQ test by exactly 25 points, with absolutely no logical explanation whatsoever.

[altas]

simply becase i score 50 points above supeeroir in my native dialect if you test me in english id score 25 points above supeerior.
ok ive narrow it down some see that word there ad again in italics ive got my trusty dictionary out now let spell that word corecly for you and give the definition
superior
1. higher in station, rank, degree, importance, etc.: a superior officer.
2. above the average in excellence, merit, intelligence, etc.: superior math students.
3. of higher grade or quality: superior merchandise.
4. greater in quantity or amount: superior numbers.
5. showing a consciousness or feeling of being better than or above others: superior airs.
6. not yielding or susceptible (usually fol. by to): to be superior to temptation.
7. higher in place or position: We moved our camp to superior ground.
8. Botany. a. situated above some other organ.
b. (of a calyx) seeming to originate from the top of the ovary.
c. (of an ovary) free from the calyx.

9. Anatomy. (of an organ or part) a. higher in place or position; situated above another.
b. toward the head. Compare inferior

10. Printing. written or printed high on a line of text, as the “2” in a2b; superscript. Compare inferior

one superior to another.
12. Also called superscript. Printing. a superior letter, number, or symbol. Compare inferior
13. Ecclesiastical. the head of a monastery, convent, or the like.
in the case of iq tests its a rank at which you score
edit forgot itilics

[Mindless]

Now you've got me going. If you scored 50 points above superior in your native dialect, how does that translate to you scoring 25 points above superior in your Engrish? It hasn't impressed me. In fact, it seems to me you'd be stymied by a simple spelling test.

Side Note: I'd love it if a mod/admin locked this up before I say something I'll regret.

[altas]

Now you've got me going. If you scored 50 points above superior in your native dialect, how does that translate to you scoring 25 points above superior in your Engrish? It hasn't impressed me. In fact, it seems to me you'd be stymied by a simple spelling test.

Side Note: I'd love it if a mod/admin locked this up before I say something I'll regret.

ok let me tell you something about the langugue you are speaking now it origenates in latin anglo saxson and some tutonic while my native langugue starts from one source whose spelling and grammer is better now the persons whose starts from one source or the persons whos langugue quite literaly is a mish mash pish posh piced togeather thing that can have word that have an anglo saxon pre-fix a latin root word and a tutonic sufix its quite confusing

[Mindless]

ok let me tell you something about the langugue you are speaking now it origenates in latin anglo saxson and some tutonic while my native langugue starts from one source whose spelling and grammer is better now the persons whose starts from one source or the persons whos langugue quite literaly is a mish mash pish posh piced togeather thing that can have word that have an anglo saxon pre-fix a latin root word and a tutonic sufix its quite confusing

OK,

A) Punctuation. Learn it.

B) How the fuck is that supposed to explain your hypothesised I.Q. test scores?

C) Yes, English is fucked. I know this.

[altas]

OK,

A) Punctuation. Learn it.

B) How the fuck is that supposed to explain your hypothesised I.Q. test scores?

C) Yes, English is fucked. I know this.

it means of coarse a simple spelling test is going to stump me. when in essence when your learning english you are in essence learning the basics of the latin langugues the anglo saxon langugues and abit of the tutonic langugues if you get into a spelling test that asks what the root langugue/s are of coarse I'd be stumped knocking off 25 points based on the spelling questions that asked for roots

[Mindless]

Hell, you think spelling would be bad, take a look at grammar. English is probably the most unordered language on the face of the planet. It lays out a few clear-cut rules, and then proceeds to add about ten thousand exceptions that violate those rules in every concievable way. The point I'm getting at is that a language switch would probably doom your score on an IQ test, if you can't handle the language very well. Speaking candidly, you can't.

[altas]

Hell, you think spelling would be bad, take a look at grammar. English is probably the most unordered language on the face of the planet. It lays out a few clear-cut rules, and then proceeds to add about ten thousand exceptions that violate those rules in every concievable way. The point I'm getting at is that a language switch would probably doom your score on an IQ test, if you can't handle the language very well. Speaking candidly, you can't.

i f-ing(can i curse on these forums i read the rules i dont think there was but some time its like an unspoken rule) know i mean aeiou and sometimes y



o yes am am sorry about my grammer it is currently 5:27 am

edit mod please lock this theard if not simply because i necroed it then because it has strayed from its purpose as a timewaster and turned into a debate anbd debates are not timewasters unless theres lightning

[Mindless]

Yeah, swearing on this Forum is pretty much allowed. Just don't overdo it. At this point I'm so drawn away from my original point I probably can't continue coherently. We'll do this: Don't Necro, all is forgiven, and have a good morning.

Edit: Yeah, what dark007 said. Oh, and I took an IQ test. Lookie, My Results! (http://web.tickle.com/tests/uiq/paidresult.jsp?test=uiqogt)

[Jamven]

Yeah, swearing on this Forum is pretty much allowed. Just don't overdo it. At this point I'm so drawn away from my original point I probably can't continue coherently. We'll do this: Don't Necro, all is forgiven, and have a good morning.

And go the to the introduction section and introduce yourself.

[Jon]

Night Elf

or

Blood Elf?

[I LOVE GINNY]

Blood Elf

Backflip

Or

Frontflip

[Dark Minion]

Backflip

Jon or Jonathon?

[The Heir]

Jonathon, though I would probably shorten it to Jon

Stalin

or

Hitler

[Mordecai]

Hitler because he actually did something slightly good before completely fucking the world over with a barge pole.

Monarchy

or

Dictatorship

[thisperson]

Monarchy, let's just keep it in the family.

Typical FFN Queer!Harry banged up the ass by every male in cannon

Or

Slutty Lily who screwed everything with a penis...don't ask (actually saw this in a fanfic once)
:puke:

[Mordecai]

Slutty Lily because she's dead and thus not the main part of the fic.

Fame and Insecurity

or

Mediocrity and Security

[Giovanni]

Fame and Insecurity -- I can always buy people :)

Raped with a pitchfork

or

Raped by a man with AIDS

[thisperson]

I'm positive I will survive taking a pitchfork up the anus.

It's the man I would be worried about.

>>_>>

<<_<<


thisperson

or

thatperson

[KubYnator]

thatperson


thatperson

or

noperson

[Dark Minion]

noperson - the other looks too stoned.




Now for all the people without real life and without shag:

Left hand or right hand?

[Darius]

Dark Minions tight anus.

Ugly Slut or Hot whore.

[Dark Minion]

The one who can cook and run the washer. The rest is overrated.


Preteen!Darius or Ancient!Jbern?

[thisperson]

Pre!Teen Darius.

Age is something that our love would have in common.

:b

Neutered

or

Sex Change

[Eristaz]

Neutered
My girlfriend would probably take some sick pleasure in me getting a vasectomy-ish type thing. O.o

Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart

Shit, I necro-ed. Sorry. I keep on thinking its early in the month number 7.

[Lorelei of the Sea]

I don't think that necro counts in Games- I could be wrong though.

Either way, Colbert makes me laugh more these days.

Sex with Snape or Sex with Dumbledore?

[The Heir]

Jon Stewart. He amuses me even if I'm not big into politics.

Left-eye

or

Left-hand

(Beware the --hyphens--)

[thisperson]

Well I am a lefty...

How would you do it?

Up the backdoor or through the valley?

[The Heir]

I'm feeling sexual innuendos and I'm feeling that 'the valley' is perhaps the best choice.

Blind, deaf, and dumb

or

dead

[The-Hyphenated-One]

I prefer naked and tied to a cross myself, you should try it sometime.

Living without your manhood, or never being able to properly use it?

[Snarf]

Never being able to properly use it.

Watching someone birth a shit baby or watching the act of making one? (made me cringe so I posted it)

[Andromalius]

What is a shit baby?

[Lorelei of the Sea]

edit @Andromalius- the result of Mpreg.

Making one. Thinking about a baby's head poking out of that is more disgusting. Plus, as making shit!babies is possible only in a fangirl's fantasy and subsequent fanfiction, I can enjoy flaming the story after the horror is over.

Soul bond with Snape or Ginny?

[Andromalius]

edit: Fuck that's gross!

People seem to be reluctant to tackle that one, so I'll suck it up.

It really depends on the gender and sexuality. I, being a straight male, choose a soul bond with Ginny - only I'd wait until I'm about 90 or something before accepting it so I only have to live a minimal amount of time with her. Or, assuming I'm in the Potterverse, I would make a Horcrux, and bond it to her so that I stay free.

Now, Mozart or Chopin? Note who had the most prestigious piano competition in the world named after him.

[thisperson]

Google seems to give no definate answer, so taking a guess...Mozart?

Fucked by a Horse or Raping Whore!Tookitfromeverymagicalbeing!Ginny?

[The Heir]

I'd have to go with gin-gin. At least she's good at what she does.

Here's a raunchy one:

Harry/Hagrid

or

Harry/Cornelius Fudge?

[Eristaz]

Harry/Hagrid, man. Hagrid's fucking awesome! That's some freaky shit...odd images...

Jay

or

Silent Bob?

[Dark Minion]

Silent Jay.
Or in other words: Best of both Worlds.



Borg
or
Klingon?

[Glernaj]

Borg.

Q
or
A?

[The-Hyphenated-One]

A as in ass.
Isn't this supposed to be a mature version?

Cleveland steamer or Dirty Sanchez?

[skooly]

Poked in the ass with

broken glass

or

stick with rusty nails

[malaga]

Broken Glass.

I may have my tetanus shot, but don't want to risk anything.

Getting Married to:

Tranny!Harry

or

Stripper!Snape

[The Heir]

Harry, though he would soon die mysteriously and leave me all his galleons.

Being just like George Bush

or

Getting stabbed twelve times with a pitchfork

????

[Solomon]

Getting stabbed twelve times with a pitchfork, because nothing is worse than being like George Bush.

Killing with Fire or a Box Cutter?

[madeyemoody]

fire, fuck that pussy terrorist boxcutter shit.

getting raped in prison

vs.

raping someone in prison

madeyemoody

[The Heir]

'Raped'.... by one of the female cops.

Big nipples

or

Small nipples

????

[malaga]

Small.

Michael Jackson, Before or After? (Bearing in mind the kinky things he can probably do with that nose...)

[Lucullus]

Before, duh.

Dying in the middle of the Death Valley clad in the thickest winter clothing imaginable

or

Dying in Antarctica totally naked.

[Lady Rebecca]

dying in Antarctica totally naked...I'm a cold weather person

Spontaneous combustioin

or

sex with Snape

[Giovanni]

Spontaneous Combustion

Being raped with a flaming pitchfork

or

Fucking the dirtiest nastiest skankiest most disease infested whore on Earth without a condom.

[The Heir]

Fucking the dirtiest nastiest skankiest most disease infested whore on Earth without a condom..... in the eyeball.

Dying by fire

or

dying from slow starvation

???

[Lorelei of the Sea]

Fire. It would be faster, and it can say on my obituary that I saved a baby from a burning building or something.

Sex with

Obama

or

Clinton?

[Giovanni]

Sex with [Bill] Clinton -- you never specified which one ;)

Obama looks like an anorexic African hooker.

Sex with Larry Craig

or

Sex with David Vitter

[Lorelei of the Sea]

Craig, 'cause then I could just tap my foot a lot. Like Pavlov's dog, only fabulous.

Sex with tubgirl

or

Sex with Gay!Dumbledore?

[Lucullus]

What's a tubgirl...?

Anyway, I choose sex with a tubgirl...blindfolded and with a condom and every protection possible.

Now, hot gay sex with Hagrid in a leotard on top,

or

hot gay sex with a whip-wielding dominatrix! (or should it be dominator?) Dumbledore clad in leather?

[The Heir]

Dumbledore because I have this small hope that there is no 'viagra' spell and that his dick just won't work.

This isn't bad, but

Sex with that Padma girl from Star Wars

or

that hot chick from Pirates of the Carribean

???

[Dark Minion]

err ... can I have both?


Detailed medical examination by Sree or by Tinn?

[Lucullus]

Dumbledore because I have this small hope that there is no 'viagra' spell and that his dick just won't work.


If magic can change the size of one's teeth or cause one to sprout additional body parts, it can surely erm... change one's virility.

---

Dumbledore appeared unfazed even at the sight of his wrinkled dick limp and flaccid as a Flobberworm. Instead, he drew out his wand with a speed and grace that belied his age.

With an intense look of concentration of his face, he pointed the wand at his dick and uttered, with an accompanying twitch of his wand, "Phallus Erectus!" The spell was immediately followed up with another, "Phallus Engorgio", after which Dumbledore shifted his gaze back up to Half-Blood Prince.

The relieved expression on HBP's face quickly turned into one of shock, and more than a little bit of fear at the sight of Dumbledore's dick- now fully erected, almost half a meter in length and as thick as an arm. Every wrinkle, ridge and vein was clearly visible to HBP, despite him cowering a few feet away and backing off ever further.

Dumbledore's eyes now twinkled madly and his face, usually calm and serene, took on an uncharacteristic feral look. He licked his lips, all the while eyeing HBP, who was now cowering in a pool of urine.

"Y helo thar buttseckz!" That was all Dumbledore said as he slowly walked towards HBP, who looked on the verge of fainting.

---

Back on topic, I choose Tinn. The French have their ways, if you know what I mean. :P

Being locked in a sealed room with a diseased, sex-crazed Ginny

or

being chained in a torture chamber with a bunch of Death Eaters, with you being a Mudblood.

[malaga]

Torture. Torturetorturetorture!

Horny McG who has just been given catnip

or

Prof. Trelawney after too much gin?

[Sree]

Thank fuck you didn't choose me, Lucullus. But beware, Tinn + sharp instruments = castration for you.

[The Heir]

Horny Mcgonagall, though I'd make her take some polyjuice of Hermione while in cat form... Hawt.

Walking in on your parents havig sex

or

Your parents walking in on you having sex

???

[malaga]

Walking in on parents. You can drink bleach to get rid of that image, nothing will get rid of your mother if she finds out something.

Would you rather:

Do the Patil Twins

or

Kill Ginny with kitchenware?

[MrINBN]

Patil Twins. Ginny killing's been done to death so far, what's one more gonna hurt?

Who'd you rather do:

Petunia

or

Fleur, but she's been dead for 5 hours?

[Krull]

Who'd you rather do:

Petunia

or

Fleur, but she's been dead for 5 hours?

Depends, what position was Fleur when rigor mortis set in? :p

Bleh, anyhow, you get to chose between a walking corpse and a regular corpse. Might as well choose the good looking one. http://god.demonsdesire.org/style_emoticons/default/emot-awesome.gif

[The Heir]

I hate when people don't leave a question....

Would you rather fall in love with someone only to find out later than they have:

a fetish for shit

or

genital herpes

????

[vlad]

the herpes - at least I can try to keep it oral...well one-sided anyway. The shit is just far too disgusting and, you know - unhygienic for me to think about...

lose both arms?

lose both testicles? (for the ladies, just relate it to your significant other)

[Stalicon]

Testicles, I could always have a painless operation, and as a plus I won't have to worry about knocking some gal' up.

I couldn't live without my arms though, this was a hard choice, but being able to pick shit up, play games, and the variety of other things you can do with hands, and therefore arms, is too much fun to give up.


Getting trapped in a H-game

Or

Getting trapped in a porno

[Jon]

Hentai Game for epic 23sum.

Enema / Open heart surgery.

[malaga]

Heart surgery. Painless, you get a cool scar, and it's a great excuse for skipping things.

"Why were you off work this past month?"

a)"I had open heart surgery."
b)"I had an enema..."

One gets laughs, one gets sympathy.

Would you rather:

Actively and enthusiastically participate in a furry convention

or

learn Klingon? (The full language, fluently.)

[Solomon]

Learn Klingon. This could be done discreetly, with no one knowing save for myself. My social status would remain the same (as opposed to becoming a furfag).

Kill someone and live a normal life until dying horribly

or

Not kill someone, but suffer until you fight an unbeatable opponent, thus dying horribly?

[Vegemeister]

Kill someone and live a normal life until dying horribly.

Raped by Ginny with all manner of STDs and gankiness.

or

Raping a 10 yoear old.

[Stalicon]

This is too easy, raping a Ten year old, defiantly.

Seriously though, Ginny's been done to death. (That pun was unintended, I swear!)


Living a live Tentacle Rape-athon

or

A month hog-tied on the floor of a prison washroom.

[DarthBill]

Tentacle-rape. With me being the monster.

Living in an Emo-Harry fic,

or

Living in The Office?

[vlad]

Emo!Harry, though I'd try to be a minor character.

Bellatrix/Narcissa/Andromeda
or
Fleur/Tonks/Daphne

[Dark Lord Gullible]

Fleur/Tonks/Daphne

Older women would turn me on less and how can you turn down a veela AND a metamorphagus?

Being forced to take part in a deranged fangirl's fantasies

or

Being raped by a tentacled monster?

[PsyckoSama]

Deranged fangirl's fantasies. Tentical monsters have a tendency of shooting explosive purple laser cum (what, never seen Overfiend?). The survival chances are simply higher.

Waking up in a cheep Vegas hotel married to Ginny

or


Waking up in a cheep Vegas hotel married to Umbridge

[evantide1]

Can't choose.

*spins roulette wheel*

Fuck!! It landed on Ginny! *Crying*

Now to my question:

Having dirt, hot sex with dominatrix (dominator?) Snape while locked in his office

or

Having dirt, hot sex with Dobby sticking it up your ass and alll the house elves are jerking off to it?

[Demonic Chair Stealer]

Dobby, house elves can keep secrets.

Jesse Jackson

or


Al Roker

[Eristaz]

Al Roker, I <3 a man who can send me to the clouds and back.

James Dean

or

Jimmy Dean

[Jenkins]

James Dean

Public sex with Grandma

or

Public sex with father

[Big D on a Diet]

Grandma. Fewer shared genes and at least she has a vag.

Eat shit

or

Drink piss

[Blaise]

Drink Piss. The saying isn't "Drink piss and die", and I like living.

An hour-long filibuster by Jessica Simpson

or

An hour listening to Paris Hilton read the dictionary

[Jenkins]

Paris Hilton, I'd laugh at hearing her sound out the words.

Gouge out eyes with fork

or

Cut of tongue and ears with scissors

[Seratin]

Tongue and ears. I've a thing about my eyes...

Kicked in balls by a horse

or

Anal time! with Garry Glitter

[Jenkins]

Anal time...my balls mean to much to me

Alive during a Zombie Invasion (some people may live..you just dont know it)

or

Only person alive on the earth

[Seratin]

Only alive person on earth. Find a body stick her in the freezer and necro till your hearts content.

And Will Smith made it look cool.

Trapped in one of Vash's fantasy's

or

Eat your child's placenta (Tom Cruise really is a sick fuck)

[Jenkins]

Vash's Fantasy's. It would be...interesting.

Muffdive an elephant

or

Stand behind a rhino while it shits (they swing their tails for a platter effect)

[Blaise]

Placenta, please (Tom Cruise is no Vash)

EDIT: AAHH damn you Cajun'. The latter.

Do your mom during the half-time show at the SuperBowl

or

Write a fangirl's dream story (I'm lookin' at YOU, Shezza)

[Lorelei of the Sea]

Fangirl's dream story. Sry, but I luvs me sum Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Watching an hour of Hilary Clinton/Paris Hilton scar porn

or

Doing your mom on the middle of the SuperBowl field while the rest of the world watched and sent in their scores on your performance by text message?

[Tofferson]

Watching an hour of Hilary Clinton/Paris Hilton scar(t?) porn.

I'd rather note do my mum, thanks.

Eat your own sexual bits and pieces

or

Kill the person you love the most?

[White Rabbit]

She meant scat porn.

Kill the person you love the most. You can always find someone else to replace them.

Michael Jackson 1980's

or

Michael Jackson 2000's?

[Samael]

Easy... Michael Jackson 19880s he, he had thriller

blow Michael Moore

or

the fat guy from Borat

[Jenkins]

Michael Moore....then shoot him.

Eat roadkill

or

Have sex with roadkill

[Tofferson]

If I can cook said roadkill, I'd pick that, if not, I'll take the sex.

Chop off your bits

or

Kill yourself.

[Shade]

Kill yourself.

Die burning

or

Drowning?

[Testament]

Definitely burning.


Get the shit kicked out of you on national TV by a midget

or

Get the shit kicked out of you on national TV by a fat-ass whore

[Tofferson]

Midget. Be an interesting life experience.

Have someone related to you, of the same sex, give you oral

or

Have sex with whore who has AIDs.

Think carefully on your choice. Make sure you are H.I.V positive on your answer.

Edit: I blame God.

[Xiph0]

You fail at grammar.

[Lindow]

Have sex with a whore who has AIDs.

That way I could do a bunch of other shit that might kill me later on that I wouldn't have to feel bad about since I'll die anyway.

Be a hermaphrodite all your life...

or

Life in prison with sexually curious Bubba as a cell mate.

[Augurey]

Be a hermaphrodite; there has to be at least one attractive girl on /d/.

Professor Sinistra

or

Professor Vector?

[TwilightAmbition]

Sinistra... who would choose their math teacher?...

Penis in an electric pencil sharpener for 30 seconds..

-or-

Having your eternal soul slowly devoured by a beast from the crawl space between dimensions :P

[yak]

What the fuck happened to this thread? Just let it die, already.

[Grubdubdub]

Sinistra... who would choose their math teacher?...

Penis in an electric pencil sharpener for 30 seconds..

-or-

Having your eternal soul slowly devoured by a beast from the crawl space between dimensions :P

Having your eternal soul slowly devoured by a beast from the crawl space between dimensions.

Ginny

or

Draco

[Blaise]

What the fuck happened to this thread? Just let it die, already.

Truth. Kill this with Fire.
With.
Fire.
Fi.
Errrr.

Killthiswithfire!

[Pieman]

Having your eternal soul slowly devoured by a beast from the crawl space between dimensions.

Ginny

or

Draco
Draco, more feminine. Which isn't saying much, as Hagrid is more feminine then her/it.

Kill this thread with fire, or have the ability to shoot lasers out of your penis. If you choose the second, this thread will exsist forever, and you will constantly stumble up on it.

[Oz]

Laser penis ftw! (and because I'm bored)

Kinsfire (http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k156/all-powerful-oz/Kinsfire.jpg) or Ishtar? (http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k156/all-powerful-oz/Ishtar.jpg)

[Krogan]

Is death by fire for both an option?

[Blaise]

Death by fire in the butt for both is always an option. Now and forever. Amen.

Fix'd just for you :)

No seriously, this thread blows.