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View Full Version : [Abandoned] Wyckham Academy by Kneazle - T


Mordac
01-01-2007, 04:08 PM
Title: Wyckham Academy
Author: Kneazle
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama
DLP Category: The Alternate's
Pairing: None yet
Status: WIP
Summary: AU: Harry attends Wyckham Academy instead of Hogwarts. New friends, new magic, new outlooks. With Harry at a different school, can he escape his destiny as the BoyWhoLived? Can he still defeat Voldemort if he isn't at Hogwarts?
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3013043/1/
The first three chapters can be found here: http://www.wizardtales.net/viewstory.php?sid=4525&chapter=1
Kneazle started a rewrite here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6477516/1/Footsteps-on-a-Different-Path

Look, this probably doesn't fit the type of fics that are usually posted around here due to the lack of "hack and slash", but I think it's a pretty good AU, and's got plenty of wizard politics for those who are into that aspect. Try it out.



Checked by Minion, Dec. 6, 2012
It's not really a dead link. The story was removed by the author, who started to rewrite it, but the first three chapters of the story can still be found.
If you know where to find another copy of the story, please inform the library staff.

kit
01-01-2007, 05:13 PM
I read this one a whlie back, it has some good old fashioned dumble-bashing. I like stories that mess with cannon. Plus Harry gets better friends Hermy and Ronald!

Merrill II
01-01-2007, 05:22 PM
I read this awhile back and I stopped as soon as Dumbledore visited the Academy; that was the worst Dumbledore-oriented scene in the history of man.

Unless that's changed, this story gets a 1/5 from me for intolerable character assassination.

ip82
01-01-2007, 06:00 PM
I've been keeping an eye on this for some time, but my interest was never strong enough to actually bite the bullet and read it. It seems to me like just another unimaginative new school story, where each HP canon character or idea is replaced by slightly 'improved' clone, making basically the same thing.

Kalistar
01-01-2007, 06:46 PM
It's not bad. I actually liked it until Harry started feeling responsible for saving the wizarding world again. What's the point in creating something totally AU and then leaving Harry with the same hero personality?

I just have trouble believing that someone who never knew about magic until he turned 11 is suddenly going to feel such a connection to the world that he is willing to risk his life for it.

Klael
01-01-2007, 08:05 PM
Uh...hmm. It may just be me, but I'm having trouble loading the Euro-FF.net site. Here's the link to the...regular FF.net site. Original. Whatever you call it.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3013043/1/

Xantam
01-01-2007, 08:17 PM
It was tolerable, but with better things to do I lost interest. 2.5/5

Klael
01-01-2007, 09:26 PM
The third chapter--I'm sick of people reintroducing ideas common to canon in AU stories. Oh, hey, it's Fred and George--what this about a jokeshop? Sure, I'd love to fund it! Come on, show some sort of originality!

Oh, look, it's Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, Oliver Wood, and Fred and George--all on the same Quidditch Team, despite there being SIX teams!

This is turning into a Mary-Sue story.

Cthulu
01-02-2007, 12:45 AM
Cthulu approves.
A cliche here and there, but nothing too bad. Writing style is good and the grammar is good enugh but leaves room for improvement.

3.5/5

Klael
01-02-2007, 05:34 AM
Early on, it goes past cliche--It's simply a lack of originality. However, the further one gets into the story, the more the writing improves. I am pleased with how it's turned out so far, and that the author has changed the angle a bit so that it doesn't seem so rediculous as it did.

Overall (based on the fact that i nearly stopped reading, and that the author's writing improves dramatically from the beginning): 3.5/5

Dark Minion
01-02-2007, 06:34 AM
I still follow the story but consider it to be average. At the moment I only follow because it is regularly updated.

I generally like the 'different school' plots and Dumbles bashing, but in this story the attempts to stick to canon as close as possible are really annoying. Harry is not enlisted at Hogwarts so the author shouldn't continue to move him there to solve the canon problems.

Having him saving the Philosopher's Stone was riddikulus; Dumbles wizardnapping Harry to defeat the basilisk wasn't much better. And Harry considering himself as the saviour is just a weak attempt to explain why he enters the Chamber of Secrets against all odds. Instead he should have shown Dumbles his middle finger and left the castle.

I understand only few people (outside DLP) want to finish Ginny off, but to save her could have been done differently I.e. the Weasleys could have transferred their children to Wyckham for safety - means, Tom would have been in an unknown place. And the stone could have fallen into Voldemort's hands. Or he might not been able to get it out of the mirror and thus been found by Dumbles just in time. There are loads of possibilities to leave canon - but this story sticks to it as if the author is using superglue.

There are hints that at least PoA will take place at Wyckham, but it will be quite unoriginal, if it is done again using a timeturner.

Klael
01-02-2007, 07:23 PM
I disagree. Philosopher's Stone, yes, but the fact that he started POA early, and then kept the dementors away from the school, and we likely won't be seeing Lupin, at least not as a Wyckham teacher. Dumbledore's actions are shocking, really, I never saw that coming--it seems almost like he's gone insane with...well, whatever this insanity is.

The real test will be, not with year 3, but year 4. Undoubtedly, the triwizard tournament will take place. The question is: How will Wyckham participate? Because you know they're gonna have to.

Mordecai
01-03-2007, 03:33 PM
Didn't the author have in an AN that the Tournament would not be taking place.

But thats by the by, this gets 4/5 from me, simply because its thoroughly enjoyable. Its a bit slow and un original at the start but it gets much much better.

Klael
01-03-2007, 07:37 PM
Well then...I guess that that would be some kind of pass of that test. I need to start reading AN's....

Brooklynight
01-03-2007, 08:30 PM
I finally started reading this. While not great its enjoyable enough to read once you get past some of the cliches that have managed to work their way in. My main complaint is that Harry seems too mature for a 11 year old. Also the author forgets Harry is 11, for example making the kids read Shakespear, brewing a potion to remove tracking spells, etc.

Just barely good enough for the library.

Attn Mods: can one of you change the pairing since the author says it won't be H/Hr

The_Banisher
01-04-2007, 12:26 AM
I've been reading it regularly (Excuse my Spelling) and once one gets past the first few chapters it becomes much more tolerable. In any case 3.5/5.

Also, in response to DarkSov, I think it will be likely that the author will have Harry's name being called out of the goblet somehow and him being forced to participate due to it being a binding magical contract.

Mordecai
01-04-2007, 01:39 AM
I finally started reading this. While not great its enjoyable enough to read once you get past some of the cliches that have managed to work their way in. My main complaint is that Harry seems too mature for a 11 year old. Also the author forgets Harry is 11, for example making the kids read Shakespear, brewing a potion to remove tracking spells, etc.

Just a note on the Shakespeare thing, in Britain 11 year olds do study it in school. As far as I know its part of the required curriculum.

Dark Minion
01-04-2007, 06:22 AM
Just a note on the Shakespeare thing, in Britain 11 year olds do study it in school. As far as I know its part of the required curriculum.

Same here in Germany with Goethe and Schiller. That didn*t bother me at all. Harry is definitely smarter than in canon - but that could be a result of the different circle of friends.

Klael
01-04-2007, 05:31 PM
Banisher--Word is that there won't be a Triwizard Tournament. It's mentioned somewhere in an Author's note. As has been mentioned here....

Our education here in the US is supposed to focus on Mathematics and Science. It has for the last 60-70 years, or something like that. English, History and the other subjects usually take a backseat to those studies; however, culturally, we are much more oriented towards business and the like. There's no room for interest in sceince and math in the mainstream consumerist economy in the US. It's probably time to refocus our primary concerns on English and History, which would seem a bit more prudent at this time.

But, hey, that's really a conversation for a different time, isn't it?

Brooklynight
01-04-2007, 07:23 PM
Mordecai and Dark Minion: My mistake, sorry, In New York I didn't see an actual Shakespearian play, not counting excerpts, until I was at least 13.

Besides that the point remains that Harry is exceedingly mature for an eleven year old, blood magic is not a basic subject.

rj_stone2
01-05-2007, 12:06 AM
One of the things I really like about IP82's work is that when something in HP canon appears to be stupid or illogical, he comes up with a background setting in which it actually makes perfect sense. That is, he assumes that the magical world described in the books is filled with normal people of at least average intelligence who have found a pretty good way to organize their affairs.

Reading stories like this reminds me why I like his work so much, as this story takes pretty much the opposite approach of assuming that canon oddities prove that the wizarding world is run by morons, even going out of its way to create "stupid" behavior on the part of Hogwarts/Dumbledore.

I'm through chapter 3 right now, and I'm only going to keep reading because of the positive reviews I've seen so far. This nearly broke my will to continue, though:
By the end of the first week, Harry was sore and tired but very happy. He and his friends completed their homework after the dance class and a shower, and joined other students in the theatre for the Sean Connery James Bond film, Never Say Never Again.
Of all the Bond movies to watch...

Edited to add: OK, the whole wizarding nobility thing just killed the story for me. I'd give this story a 2/5 and a well deserved move to the trash.

Dark Minion
01-05-2007, 05:06 PM
Yes he is. Sometimes even too mature.

But canon!Harry is more naive than he should be, so I didn't mind this that much.

Wisdom's Mountain
01-05-2007, 05:22 PM
I thought this story was allright, but not great. The author addresses the potential for Anita to be a MarySue at the end of the first chapter, but I'm not convinced she's not. As said before, Harry and his friends are extremely mature, while the adults (Dumbledore and Fudge in paticular) are extremely immature.

Shuujaku
01-05-2007, 05:38 PM
2/5

Wizarding Nobility, inverse maturity among adults and children, retarded plot resolutions? Yea...no.

japanese_jew
01-06-2007, 01:19 AM
I remember this fic. It was decent, but I wasn't all that hot on retarded!Dumbledore or computers+magic. I was also pretty irritated with muggle!headmistress. I haven't read the last chapter, but, meh.

It gets points for good grammar/spelling, and interesting read, if not all that realistic.

3.5/5, I'll give it a 4 on the stars.

Cthulu
01-26-2007, 01:37 PM
Message from the author!



Harry, at this exact point, is 12. I’m sorry for those of you at (and I hope that reader who posted my story in your forum for review can copy/paste this as my response to your criticisms for others on your board) but 12-year-olds do not go around happily murdering and fucking and generally behaving like psychotic maniacs. However, there have been cases, right?

The thing is, Harry’s young. He’s influenced by those around him and still forming his opinions. He’s not going to suddenly get up and start AK’ing those he hates, although I know for the most part those of you who frequent the board enjoy those kinds of stories. ‘Wyckham’ will not get to that point, not for another few chapters (like… 10 or something). I’ve been trying to lead it up, but I guess I’m going a bit slow, so I’ll improve upon that. Harry’s learnt silent casting already, and can manage a few spells – that we know of. If anything, I do wish those on sent me their concerns via PMs or reviews or an email, if only to help me improve this story. Beside one or two reviewers who are criticizing the story – and I’m beyond grateful for them – I do need help in keeping the story in check.

I hope that covers what needed to be said, without spoiling too much. And I sincerely hope that there are those who can plow on through the lengthy fillers, the canon-ized events, to get to this point and go… “Something wicked this way comes!”

If not, that’s cool too. Thanks for reading up to this point. I appreciate it. And for those of you who will continue on in the story – thanks guys. It means more to me than you could ever imagine.

– Kneazle (Jan.26.07)

While he didn't mention any names, I'm guessing he ment this forum... Mainly becouse he said:
12-year-olds do not go around happily murdering and fucking and generally behaving like psychotic maniacs
and
He’s not going to suddenly get up and start AK’ing those he hates, although I know for the most part those of you who frequent the board enjoy those kinds of stories.

Dark Minion
01-26-2007, 05:27 PM
You should have posted the first half of her A/N, too - it was also directed at us. At least I assume it was directed at us, as she pics quite a lot of the points we mentioned. She might have even said it "Iím sorry for those of you at " but ff.net deletes web addresses in chapters, pm, and reviews.

AN: Okay, folks, I think we need to sit down and have a little heart-to-heart. Allow me to correct some impressions that need to be looked at:

Ships: Although I am a Harry/Hermione shipper, this story will not be H/Hr. Harry will have numerous girlfriends/flings, as he grows older. Hermione will have numerous boyfriends/flings as she grows older. If there is anything between the two, it is likely to be fleeting and possibly one-sided.
Ships that will not be final but might happen: Harry/Luna, or any on the Yahoo!Group youíve voted for. However, since you have voted, you will see interaction between those characters and Harry.
Ships that will not ever happen in Wyckham: Harry/Ginny, Hermione/Ron, Draco/nearly anyone, Neville/Luna, Neville/Ginny.

Canon/AU: Yes, yes, the story started out fairly canon with the Philosopherís Stone and the Chamber of Secrets. But Sirius is out early, isnít he? And Voldemortís in a tizzy, wondering what he can do next. TriWizard Tournament, you ask? Not happening. Order of the Phoenix returning to mess up things? Not just yet.

Iím sorry itís taken so long to get to this point, but I promise, promisepromisepromise on my iBook, my precious, that the story will be much more original and different now. If youíve managed to stick with me so far, youíll be in for a faster paced, rollercoaster ride from here on in.

I still follow the story as I like the school-scenario and really hope it becomes more original.

And I really appreciate that the author deals with the criticism of this forum - even if the story isn't exactly written for our kind of readers.

rj_stone2
02-06-2007, 11:23 PM
The author doesn't address the actual concerns of this forum though. Nobody was complaining about a lack of sex/death. The main complaints were ably summed up by Shuujaku:Wizarding Nobility, inverse maturity among adults and children, retarded plot resolutions? Yea...no.I would add that most of the kids (and the headmistress) look like Mary-Sues at this point, and there really has been no plot purpose served by having the new school (other than to get in some Dumble-bashing and replace the all-perfect Dumbledore with the new all-perfect headmistress). She really hasn't addressed any of these issues at all, just some stereotype of what she thinks would be written based on the name of the web site.

xavierpud
02-07-2007, 12:24 AM
i just finished reading the story and it seams to be well written but it lacks the normal content found on this site

Brei
02-10-2007, 12:25 AM
It's ok as a story. It could be worse, it could be better. Of course, it'd be really nice if, at some point, she has Harry turn dark.