Title: Harry Potter: Grey Wizard 1 The Beginning
Author: ETMegabyte
Genre: General/Action/Adventure
DLP Catagory: AU
Pairing: None so far
Status: WIP, Author Posted first 3 chapters today, claims he has 30k+ finished already being edited to post.
Summary:
AU. How could our hero be different if he walked into the wizarding world with his eyes open? How would he deal with situations if he wasn't a wimp like he is in canon? NOT a superpower Harry Story. Harry discovers magic at a young age, and learns.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3337951/1/

Story was posted today on FFN and has started out fairly well. I dislike the harry abuse but I think the author is about to change that sense Harry has recently found his magic. I'm personally hoping for a little bit of Dursley!Revenge. Overall however I think the story has gotten off to a decent start.

 

We shall see shan't we. Interesting enough premise, even if there are a fair few 'Harry discovers magic early and learns' fics. Dursley revenge is always good.

Will obviously edit when I've read the story. Maybe in the morning... 9 or so hours away.


Night all.



Edit:

Chapter one seems like a bit of a rehash of the first couple of bits of Philosopher's Stone, whichs isn't particularly great, but seems to happen in all of these fics. Also, the author is using the incident with the Boa Constrictor in the zoo as if it happened when Harry was 7. I was under the impression that it happened at Dudley's most recent birthday before Harry turned 11.

Chapter two. Not much happens.

Chapter three. Harry convieniently finds his mother's diaries, which are not only hidden in the Dursley's attic when they should have been in the Potter's house with them, but detail every year of her magical education. As I said, decidedly convienient.


This story is well thought out, well put together, but it just seems to lack some really original ideas. Coming from an author who states that they have an 'overactive imagination' there hasn't been much evidence yet.

However, as a first fic, it's only right to let the story develop and allow the author to have a good stab before they get written off as a failure.

3.5/5 with potential to go either way.

 

Looks interesting,thank you.

I'll edit after I've read the whole story ch.1-3.

EDIT:
I just read the first three chapters, they all seemed well written and well thought out, the abuse parts were the only iffy parts that I've seen so far in the story and there doesn't seem to be to many of them...
For a first time writer he/she(sex anyone?) seems to be doing pretty good.
3.5/5, rating may go up or may go down.

 

I didn't like. Its the typical Harry discovers magic at an early age. The abuse was pointless and poorly written. 2/5

 

I've always wondered with these Harry discovers magic at an early age stories is how the ministry doesn't detect the magic that he is doing. They are able to detect accidental magic with muggleborns so wouldn't you think the same things would be near Harry while he is growing up?

2/5 Nothing special as of yet. Though it seems like the author is trying to build up a magically strong Harry because he has done research but I'm still thinking he isn't going to be all that independent.

 

Good point...
We will see within the next couple chapters, until then I'm gunna keep reading it.

 

Well, it's obvious from the title that it will feature Grey!Harry; and while entertaining to read the whole premise of dark, white and grey magic has been overused almost as much as the cliche where Ginny slaps Vernon.

Didn't like it 2/5

 

3/5

Average. This story doesn't draw me in at all over three chapters; the writing is grammatically sound, just not very interesting for some reason. That and I'm seriously tired of the "Grey" classification.

That said, there have been 6 posts between the original and mine; none of them seem to be raves. Try using the thread rating system when you leave your rating in the thread, people. Scroll up to the first post, look to the right of thread tools, click on the stars, and vote.

 

It's nothing special, the spelling is good but that's about the only thing worth of note. There are at least 2 other nearly identical stories I could name. The abuse frankly is over-used and has no part in the plot. Harry could just as easily discover magic wiping his ass as he does during abuse scenes. And I hope he won't use the argument that you can kill people with a levitation charm when he meets other wizards, being 'grey' and all that... If he does I'm going to be sick. And it doesn't look like a 'NOT a superpower Harry Story' so far. 2/5 for good grammar, I'll give him 3/5 if the author doesn't abandon it in another 3 chapters.

 

Dunno why but it reminds me of one of SIlverAegis's stories.

 

I couldn't help but laugh at the fifth chapter. The entire thing is nothing but a description of Harry's new trunk. 1/5

 

yeah he spends to much time explaining details with slows the story to much down. i dont think the story will improve cause he has the next few chapters written and they are probably the same style

 

Lovely... Well. Having read 3/4 of the 4th chapter I had to stop. Harry is 7 years old, and he's gone 50 or more miles on a bus, with change he collected from roun the house. Forgive me if I think this is not only difficult, but implausible, because regardless of the idiocy of some of our public, people are going to notice a 7 year old boy going that far by himself.


Not to mention Harry can now use magic to make himself taller. Why not use magic to make himself older, stronger or anything else that he wants. It's ridiculous.

My third problem, is that Harry seems to be smarter than he was in half the books and he's half the age.


I started out thinking this story had places to go, and it does, but that appears to be downhill. On a 1 in 4 slope.

1-2/5



Incidently.... Why must my City be defiled by the name being use for substandard and boring trunk shopping chapters? Of which this was one of the absolute worst.

 

Good start... but as of chapters 4 and 5, not so much. I'm really disappointed, it had some great potential.

2/5

 

this story seems promising

 

I should like to remind you that you have been asked politely to remove the capitalisation from your signature Angel. It's considered to be the equivalent of shouting and as such is frowned upon unless there is a good reason.

I'd hate for you to be denied the use of the forum over something so ridiculously trivial.

Get it sorted.

 

i sorted this fic with high hopes and found it was pretty good. Then i read the fourth chapter and damn does it go down hill, the hill was so steep it vertical really. criticism??? redo or rework this fic the end of chapter 3, it would be a lot better if thought out a bit more.

 

.. Am I the only one who has the feeling this is a repost/something similar? I have an incredible feeling of "I've read this before... <_< Haven't I?".

I'll read it over more closely later and edit, but as it is.. I don't have that high of an opinion.

 

There is a reason for this. It's because there are very few new ideas, and (s)he even rips off names from other fics, such as Mr Leeds from HP & The Power of Time by Rosswrock. I've made my point on that.


I think it's about time this was moved to the trash or deleted.