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Abandoned The Sands of Time by Soulforger - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Sferics, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. Sferics

    Sferics Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2007
    Messages:
    77
    Title: The Sands of Time
    Author:
    Rating: M
    Genre: General/Action/Adventure
    DLP Category: Time Travel Fics
    Pairing: -
    Chapters: 2
    Words: 10,942
    Updated: February 28, 2007
    Published: January 8, 2007
    Status: Abandoned

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3331654/1/
    Summary: An older Harry defeats Voldemort, but soon realizes the world he saved is not for him. Maybe if he started on the path he took sooner, things might've ended differently. He intends to find out. Time travel, but not the kind I've read before.


    The same author that wrote 'Rivers of Blood.' Its only has one chapter, but the chapter is good enough to be a one-shot.


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 28, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2012
  2. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,166
    Wow! Very well done, Very realistic! I find myself to be highly impressed! too often we see the fairy tale battles in these stories.
    I must say that I especially liked the reasoning behind harry not being an order member, as well as his 'Paranoia'.

    Excellent fic, especially for only a single chapter (But I'm getting the feeling it should stay a one-shot)

    4.5/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2007
  3. Dasha

    Dasha Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Very good and as Manatheron said realistic. I really liked this Crimson Brigades stuff. But I always thought that Harry's blood was more of potion ingridient, then actually transfering into Voldemort, because really I don't belive he wouldn't use it then. 4/5 before I can see other chapters.
     
  4. DvorakQ

    DvorakQ Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    264
    krikes! Unlike other authors this one has a good excuse... he lost his right hand recently! >.>
    Good read though.
     
  5. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    273
    Location:
    Highlands
    Really enjoyed this. Very well done but i think i agree with manatheron that it should stay a one-shot, the going back in time thing would ruin it in my opnion. 4/5 so far though
     
  6. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    Nice start, but I think you're way premature on suggesting it for the library. For one thing, this is supposedly a time travel story done in a way the author's never read before.

    All we can read is a one-shot battle. We're not even to any of the real details of the story's plot, so how can we judge this as a "Alternates" or Time Travel fic yet? We don't know what's going on? I mean we could be going back to miniscule spermatozoon Harry when he's just a tickle in James' left nut. Or we could have adult Harry traveling back and staying adult!Harry rather than the usual old character in a young body redo plot. The thing is, we have no clue on this fic yet.

    As a finished one-shot, this is very good. As a time travel fic or wherever it's headed? I've not a clue in the world. Considering the author's other fics and apparent rate of update, it could be a long time before we find out. Tough break on the hand too.

    Err... I suppose you could call it a potion ingredient, but this was how a new body was created for Voldemort. And it used, bone of the father (maybe Tom Riddle senior had a bone disease? Marrow issues?), flesh of the servant (be funny if he got chubby and ugly like Peter), and blood of the enemy. These are the physical elements used to make a new body, so it should be Harry's blood.

    I would think this means both blood magic Voldemort does is vulnerable to Harry and blood magic Harry does is vulnerable to Voldie.

    This wasn't just making a soup and drinking it like most potions. This was creating a body.
     
  7. mcatrage

    mcatrage Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    198
    Location:
    USA
    "He always imagined, as a child and then as an adult, meeting the monster who tortured his parents to insanity, fighting her, fuelled by his righteous anger, overpowering her and then eliminating her - not in anger, but to achieve some closure and avenge all those she had ruined. Not once in these fantasies of his did he conceive he might die in such a duel; not once did he consider her as a powerful opponent to take seriously, to Neville it was just a matter of being able to find her, the rest of the story was already set in stone. How could his revenge end in failure if it was right? How could he possibly die without first killing her? It was simply not possible to end like this. These and many other similar thoughts ran through Neville's mind as his body was burned, cut, pierced and crushed by Bellatrix's magic; he died with a look of astonishment on his face, as if he simply could not believe he would meet his doom at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange."

    That honesty right there makes the story for me. Neville vs Bella.

    4/5
     
  8. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Yeah, the Bella/Neville fight was great, not because it was a particularly good duel or anything, but it was something I rarely see. Usually Neville gets his revenge through some stupid, implausible and cliched way.

    4/5 so far
     
  9. Dasha

    Dasha Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Well yeah... I know that Voldemort was creating a body (It was the point of the whole book actually)). But the fact what it was necessary to put there exactly servant's flesh (not just random flesh), father's bone etc. made it somewhat ritual like... well... like the potion (you put different blood, skins, roots there, but you in the end you get not ugly mess (well usually), but some colored liquid). So I think that Voldemort is not made of Pettigrew, Potter and his father, but completely different. I certainly agree that it would affect their blood magic, but only one that was done before ritual, not after.
    Another way seems like a good plot device, but in canon it will be a large plot hole (somebody would have used it already, well... maybe they still will, but why to wait for two years?). It's of course just my opinion and I don't mind being proved wrong).
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2007
  10. japanese_jew

    japanese_jew High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    598
    I'd say it's nice, but a little too rushed, and I dislike his use of all caps when Voldemort is shrieking, "POTTER". I felt like it was nearly completely expository, and this could have been an immense chapter with deep and meaningful character deaths, but instead he just went over the top in a killfest. Not ready for the library, but I won't vote on it just yet, in case this is just a prologue, and the rest is better.
     
  11. yojorocks

    yojorocks Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    286
    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    I second Japanese Jew: too early to get a real feel for the story. So far, the premise seems pretty well thought out, but we haven't gotten to the assumed time-travel part. The Nelville scene was glorious, and the way the confrontation built up was superbly done.

    I can't stand how everyone, even the "great" authors, give in to a massive battle where both the Light Lord Harry his army of goblinfriends, flaming turkeys, aurors, and centaurs battle it out on an open field with vamps, dementors, death eater, werewolves, god knows what else (demons, veela, whatever), and the Dark Lord (insert badly thought out Voldemort nickname here). Major battles are too often fought in real life either on surprise attacks or places where they were not intended, but simply happened.

    I have been waiting a long time to see someone use an escalating fight for the 'glorious final battle'; either that or have it turn out to be a boched (or maybe successful?) assassination attempt, and lo and behold this fic has both.

    Very nicely done without going over the top with cliches, and the part about seizing St. Mungos at the end was genius, for nothing else than to deprive the other factions from being able to heal themselves. Pretty nice job on character depth, not to mention character death... Nelville, how I loathe thee and thy damnable self-righteous anger. Crucio to you! Seriously though, that could have been drug out much more in detail, but oh well. Regardless, the other main character deaths should have had a bit more time put into them...

    /End Rant until next chapter comes out
     
  12. katelyn1992

    katelyn1992 Backtraced

    Joined:
    May 23, 2007
    Messages:
    5
    Location:
    Australia
    I love this story and its only 2 chaptes ;]
     
  13. Xenon

    Xenon Professor

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    440
    Location:
    Lurk-Dome
    Hmm.

    -Multi month posting gap

    -No Update

    -Useless one line statement

    Yes, Its a Necro Bump.


    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2007
  14. dark phonix89

    dark phonix89 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    10
    Location:
    ATL Hoe
    man to read a story like that is truly refreshing especially considering all the utter crap there is out there and it was funny to boot marvelous story i just hope the author keeps it up 2 soon 2 tell however so i will give it a 4.8 for now this definitely goes 2 the fav's

    “Nice work on gettin’ a hot blonde to meet ya alone on a hospital room, Harry! But in the condition you’re in, you won’t be able to do much! Tough luck!” shouted Gerard, laughing like an idiot. He was still laughing when a flower vase thrown by Harry smashed against his face, knocking him out.

    “Git.” mumbled Harry, smiling at the other man’s antics.