Title: War
Author: Flemingo
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure
DLP Category: Alternate/Indipendant...its a bit of a lot of things.
Pairing: H/Hr (not much of it)
Status: WIP
Summary: AU. What if Muggles and Wizards were part of a greater whole? What if everything that humans think they know is a lie? And how is it that muggles are able to develop magical powers? Muggles and wizards working together, combining the strengths of both worlds. This story is about action, and adventure with a good bit of romance thrown in there, there are scenes that will send shivers down your back and make you cry - If you want to read a truly original story with twists and spins around every corner then check this out you will not be dissapointed.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3221721/1/

 

good solid start if a little overused, the wohole harry losing his memory and being taken in thing, but from the way its been done it looks good will read further jsut to see what the hell is going on

 

Didn't like it...

Its like a whole line of ideas meshed together in an totally unrealistic setting....
I mean honestly, having a pet basilisk is fine.... having the BFG (Big fucking gun - Quake) well....
having nanites, no comment......

I didn't read further than the 4th chapter, perhaps it gets better, but in my opinion this fic should concentrate more on a believable story or character development and less on how many awesome things they can do....

2/5

 

Losing his memory is a cliche? I've seen fics where he doesn't know he's himself (mainly cause he was raised as a different person) but losing his memory has never been a thing I've seen.

Though Mastermind Hunting had him pretty much a shell of a boy for a while, but he got his memories/personality back after a but.

I'll read it after my dinner and rate it then.

Aekiel

 

Aekiel, he's probably referring to the Elemental series (Genesis and Prophecies), where he loses his memory, learns awesome skills and so on.... Although the Elemental series are far far FAR better than this.

There are also a couple of less know, bin worthy fics where he loses his memory goes to random place (muggle world, vampires, elementals, druids, Middle Earth and what not).


This specific fic is filled with plot holes, is too fast paced, has no character development what so ever and inserts technology that's just plain ridiculous. Like, whats the point in having the worlds best sniper (which they do get) when you have a sniper rifle that can zoom in on ANYTHING at voice command at virtually ANY distance, compensate for various elements by itself and has no recoil?
There REALLY is just no point, the entire rifle is already automatic, so why the hell do you put the worlds best sniper behind it?


Anyway, don't like it 2/5 (Semi-original idea)

 

Got up to this and couldn't stand anymore. If you're going to use such blithering cliches then at least give some back story . For me, this sort of thing kills a fic. Oh and if you think we get Hurricanes in Britain then you're a moron. Research: the key to a great fic.

1/5 from Crazy1.

 

I gotta agree with you that reading the first 8 lines of a fic really does sum it all up.

 

I liked it, perhaps a bit unoriginal but enjoyable to read 4/5.

 

Note: author also has it posted on portkey. Honestly, I liked it a bit at first with the whole technomagic thing, but the Quake-esque references were a bit much. A matter of perception by Kung-lou hit it dead on, but this one fell short of the target. Technology and magic can be quite cool together, but it didn't seem to mesh right here. One thing that really bugged me was the Bessy (you will see her in chptr 2, I think) and the BFG. I mean, sure it's fun, but the fusion that you are proposing just doesn't quiet mesh right.

Regardless, the story is entertaining and somewhat original. There is nothing overly detracting about it, but nothing outstanding about it either.

3/5

 

falls short of what I like to read and to many crossovers it is confusing -5/5

 

BioPlague Advisory and Warning System
​

Where I Stopped:
Beginning of Chapter 3
Reason for Stopping:
Cluster-fuck. Utter fucking cluster-fuck. The beginning is not attention-grabbing in the least. The author doesn't play it cool, nor sets us up; he springs some hard to swallow events onto us within the first 500-600 words of the story and doesn't let up. He mellows out a bit but most won't catch it because they've already hit the back-button unless you're the most stubborn, insufferable Harry/Hermione shipper (which I don't even qualify for). Very painful in places, too many over-used sub-plots.

Problems and Warnings:
- The phrase "you are my guiding light" is used to describe what the romantic interest of the main character means to him. Other intolerable romance words and sentences are spewed throughout the first half-chapter.
- A very un-epic and shitty battle occurs within the first chapter in which the main character is presumed dead.
- The main character is presumed dead by his arch-foe.
- The main character is really alive, thus allowing for the cluster-fuck this story is to continue.
- Guns. Muggles and War. An amalgamation of several verses of weaponry that leave something to be desired since it's sprung onto you without pause.
- Major Cliche: Main character interacts with a snake on friendly terms.
- Major Bullshit: The snake is a 'Razorback Basilisk'

Suggestion: Don't waste your fucking time; this story is Dreadful.

 

Is a cluster-fuck like a gangbang? Only in a literary form?

 

1. Cluster Fuck
All of the bad things that can happen do, thus saying fuck for each thing until this becomes cluster fuck.