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Uncle by Sam-Storyteller - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by the-caitiff, Jun 10, 2007.

  1. the-caitiff

    the-caitiff Death Eater

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    952
    Location:
    West Central Florida USA
    Title: Uncle
    Author: Sam-Storyteller
    Rating: T
    Genre: Crime thriller
    DLP Category: Dark Arts/Humor
    Pairing: HP/hooker, RL/hookers, RL/SB slash
    Status: Completel/One-Shot
    Summary: Remus Lupin is not just Harry's adopted father, he is The Uncle. One of the most powerful organized crime bosses in western europe, Lupin takes care of his own.
    Link: http://sam-storyteller.livejournal.com/25584.html

    I quite liked it, fairly short but really give some mob-boss flavor to the wizarding world. Remus gives Sirius to Harry as a christmas gift. They break into Azkaban, kidnap him and take him off somewhere for a nice quite execution so Harry can learn the trade. 4.5/5
     
  2. DreamRed

    DreamRed Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    I liked it. Not mind-blowingly good, but a funny take that definitely had its moments. 4.5/5
     
  3. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,582
    Location:
    The Octagon - Say that to my face and not online m
    You sir, are a faggot.

    EDIT: The story isn't as gay as I first though, not a huge fan though. Will edit on completion.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2007
  4. rj_stone2

    rj_stone2 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2006
    Messages:
    229
    Location:
    New York
    Eh, the whole story is told in plot summary format. If the author ever decides to write the actual story, it might be good. As it is, 2/5.
     
  5. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2005
    Messages:
    9,498
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    West Bank
    Sorry for blind-rating this. Definitely a 5, Mafia Fics own the fandom.
     
  6. malaga

    malaga Auror

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    639
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Yeah, I liked the very beginning but after that it kind of became notes. The author might as well have written:

    ~Harry gets adopted by Remus
    ~Hermione bookkeeper
    ~Sirius/Remus

    I liked it, but it wasn't great
     
  7. raja

    raja Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2006
    Messages:
    115
    Location:
    California, USA
    I'll give it a 4. Even though it wasn't in depth, I really really liked the idea...
     
  8. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    It was a fine story. Too bad it wasn't a bit longer, though. It cuts off in the summer before OOTP. I was hoping to see Voldemort decimated by Remus's mafia...
     
  9. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,957
    Location:
    Ghost Planet
    I read it a few days ago, but now that I dont have anything to do for a while, Ill post a review.

    Mafia!Harry gets +1, Mafia Boss!Lupin gets -1.Slash gets -1.

    The story idea isnt bad and its not a bad read, but its not something id have spent time to read if there was something more worth reading.

    4/5 for the idea and such, 3.7 for execution.
     
  10. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,284
    Location:
    Democratic Republic of The Congo
    I'm of two minds on this story.

    On one hand, I think the idea could be really cool and I'd love to see this extended into an actually peice of writing.

    On the other hand, I shudder to think of reading this dry and uninspiring tone for chapters on end.
     
  11. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    personally the writing is fine for a oneshot, but i'd really love it if it was written in a different style and a lot longer.
    as it is i give it a 4/5 because it cuts off at a shiet moment.
     
  12. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,789
    Location:
    California
    This was a fairly good read. Even if its only 1 long chapter. Writing was good. Didn't see any grammar errors.

    4/5 for me.

    Richard.
     
  13. Gabrinth

    Gabrinth Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,582
    Location:
    Cary, NC
    Haven't seen a Mafia story in a good long while that wasn't lame. This one was better than most, but I still thought it was a bit dry. Seemed to me like there was very little dialogue and the author just wrote out a list of events and stuck a few descriptions around them. Thought the slash was random and unneeded. It was probably more just to keep the fangirls interested. Still it was amusing. 3/5
     
  14. Lhefriel_Medies

    Lhefriel_Medies Fifth Year

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    153
    I thought it was pretty good. While the writing style was slightly poor and overall slightly dry, and the plot somewhat in the same category, the outlook on the story from this viewpoint is certainly interesting. It's not something I would recommend in the long run simply due to the writing style, but for how short it is, it's fine, despite the lack of depth. Just how interestingly the events unfolded, I think it deserves something like a 4/5. The slash is kind of strange and unnecessary, but I guess that's how some people roll. Good way to pass a few minutes, and it is a well executed Mafia!Harry, which is a definite bonus. How often do you see one of those?

    4/5