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Averis
06-27-2007, 08:08 PM
Title: A Four Letter Word
Author: Averis
Rating: M
Genre: Humor
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Harry Potter/Various
Status: WIP
Summary: Harry Potter, frustrated with his life of ease after the downfall of Voldemort, decides to explore other options.

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3621091/1/

My first attempt at fanfiction. Basically, it's Harry frustrated with his peaceful, supposedly happy-go-lucky life after Voldemort. A short Prologue is up, but I'll follow it up soon with a better look into Harry's life hounded by publicity and with his government consistently asking him for help.

thisperson
06-27-2007, 08:25 PM
Errr...

3.5/5 It made me laugh in a few places, he will leave Ginny...right?

It makes sense that Hedwig is getting old, in many stories people assume she will always carry his mail until he's dead, only reasonable to think that she will get old soon.

Eventually rating might go up or down once you write some more.

Le
06-27-2007, 08:46 PM
I liked it, even though it was rather short. He really needs to get rid of Ginny, preferably as soon and as publicly as possible. I thought the Hermione bit was hilarious also.

4/5, but only because he's with Ginny still, otherwise, 5/5

Averis
06-27-2007, 10:11 PM
I assumed it was obvious that he would get rid of Ginny, but I guess I didn't make it as plain as I thought. He will be kicking her to the curb shortly; I'll try to make it public.

Shouldn't be too hard--it's Harry Potter for cawks sake.

Lorelei of the Sea
06-28-2007, 07:53 AM
This fic was cute. I was slightly annoyed by the inconsistency of tenses, but it only happened a few times, so it's not that big a deal. 4/5 overall.

ulkser
06-28-2007, 09:39 AM
3/5. "getting rid of ginny" is a common thought of dlp community.:D a story that helps to spend time.

Vir
06-28-2007, 10:48 AM
The part with hermione was horribly written and there was too much over dramatization in it. Seriously, I'm willing to bet that Hermione isn't too bad to look at. And why does his scar hurt if Voldemort is dead?

1/5

Averis
06-28-2007, 11:38 AM
It's a Prologue, kid; Ginny is gone as soon as possible.

Virail, Hermione is not too bad to look at, except for the fact that, as bushy as her hair is in canon, and with her 'holier than thou' attitude, I doubt she shaves--thus, her bush is gruesome. Not to mention she's like a sister to Harry. I'd imagine even if you recognized that your sister was hot you still wouldn't want to see her naked.

But I don't know you that well, so I won't make any assumptions about you and your low class, backwater, inbred redneck ass.

And, as said before, it's a Prologue, kid; there is a reason his scar is hurting.

Mindless
06-28-2007, 11:46 AM
I liked it. Although Ginny needs to GTFO. 4/5, but 5/5 when the aforementioned GTFO happens.

Marie M
06-28-2007, 12:43 PM
Damn, it's the most promising prologue I have ever seen in my life.
5/5 if you won't fuck it up.

Can't wait for more

Vir
06-28-2007, 01:17 PM
Virail, Hermione is not too bad to look at, except for the fact that, as bushy as her hair is in canon, and with her 'holier than thou' attitude, I doubt she shaves--thus, her bush is gruesome. Not to mention she's like a sister to Harry. I'd imagine even if you recognized that your sister was hot you still wouldn't want to see her naked.

But I don't know you that well, so I won't make any assumptions about you and your low class, backwater, inbred redneck ass.

And, as said before, it's a Prologue, kid; there is a reason his scar is hurting.

I know that I wouldn't want to see my sister naked, I still wouldn't go on about puking and ripping out my eyes. It's really not that bad. My impression of this is that it came from the mind of a 13 year old who still thinks that women are icky yet wants to explore these newfound 'feelings' and 'urges'

Averis
06-28-2007, 03:02 PM
I know that I wouldn't want to see my sister naked, I still wouldn't go on about puking and ripping out my eyes. It's really not that bad. My impression of this is that it came from the mind of a 13 year old who still thinks that women are icky yet wants to explore these newfound 'feelings' and 'urges'

Conversely, I get the impression that your grandmother raised you and your sister on home cooked meals and G movies. I have the newfound urge to slap you for over-dramatizing your opinion's credibility.

You give me a 1/5 because of an inane belief that a character, that coincindentally doesn't exist in reality, looks better than the way I have written her. Am I going to far out on a limb to say that you have, at some point in your miserable existence, masterbated to the thought of Emma Watson?

You disappoint me.

1/5.

Ragon
06-28-2007, 03:04 PM
Its okay I like the slightly messed up mentally Harry. Reminds me of myself in fact but other than that its a average prologue. Work on the rest a bit more and Ill try again then

Vir
06-28-2007, 04:34 PM
Averis you're missing the point. I gave you a 1/5 because the way you have portrayed Harry is overly melodramatic. It's just a naked girl. That's it, her vagina doesn't have teeth, and constantly going on and on and on about 'poking ones eyes out' for several paragraphs is overkill. Sure, if he had mentioned it outloud to get a rise out of people then that would be humor. The constant griping is just annoying as fuck.

As it stands however, you were partially correct, I was indeed raised by my Grandmother. She was a wonderful person to have done so.

Xiph0
06-30-2007, 07:26 AM
Damn, it's the most promising prologue I have ever seen in my life.
5/5 if you don't fuck it up.

Agreed. Ginny aside, this is one of the few fics in a while that I laughed through.

5/5

Richardc269
06-30-2007, 01:33 PM
I'll have to agree, Ginny needs to be dumped, and fast. I used to like Harry/Ginny pairings, and would only want to read those, but after a while, seeing that there were so many of them, I finally decided to read other pairings. And I found quite a few good ones. And now, I don't really like H/G pairings. There's too many of them. Anyway, I like this story so far, its good.

Richard.

4/5 for me at the moment (not rating it yet on the post until there's more of the story available.)

Averis
08-02-2007, 10:47 AM
Oh, snap.

I didn't know y'all put me in the Library! Cool.

I was on temporary hiatus while reading Deathly Hallows and taking exams (next week), but afterwards I'll continue. I've got some pretty funny ideas on ways to integrate Kreacher and further the storyline.

Jeram
12-20-2009, 10:17 PM
Oh my. Um.. right. It's not as funny as I'd like. It's okay, I guess. Real damn old by this point (although I'm not one to talk on that front).

Still... 3/5

kevo125
12-21-2009, 10:50 AM
4/5 for the simple reason that it made me laugh and i needed one. But this needs to be updated

Averis
12-30-2009, 05:11 PM
Yeah, it's probably not going to get updated. It was a decent premise (each time a wizard takes a witches' virginity he receives a power boost) but, to be honest, it always felt like a crack fic to me. I'm glad a got a couple of laughs out of a few of you, but I doubt I'll ever come back to this one.

Besides, wouldn't you rather read about Dark Lord Hagrid?