It's not the size of your fic's response, it's how you use it.
No one starts writing for the readers or reviewers, but there are quite a few without the heart to finish their writing without it.
Creative genius is never appreciated until after the artist is dead anyway.

And besides, this way you can be our very own DLP's little secret Cervus.



/me runs to hide from the pun police who just told their snipers to take the shot.

 

I am NOT being the spy that gets sent to those dirty slash sites, can't you imagine the training you'd have to go through? Go on, visualize it! See it clearly in your mind. Snape doing a dirty dance on your lap while Ron Weasley eats a carrot in a sexual way. I said visualize it dammit!

Never have been too bothered about getting reviews actually, though they always do bring a smile to my face whenever I get one. Pity they haven't got a flames stat actually, can you imagine the amount that fic with Dicknose!Snape would have.

 

First, eating a carrot in a sexual way? Is that possible? I mean the shape works, but too many snaps and crunches from biting down. A banana can be eaten with lips and a tongue. No teeth necessary. Ice cream cones can actually hurt if you use teeth. And you get the white dribblies with those. But eating a carrot? I'll be honest... I'm having trouble visualizing it. And the Snape lap dance isn't exactly burning into my head. But... I can clearly see him pole dancing like a stripper. His legs muscles clenched as he hangs upside down, his thighs gripping tightly around the pole, and the oil just dripping off his hair. Then him spinning back to his feet, only to completely lose his footing on the grease puddle on the floor sending him painfully crashing to the ground. Perhaps snapping his jaw shut, biting the tip of his tongue off when he lands on his chin. Now that I can visualize. All that rich creamery blood in Snape's pretty, sticky mouth...

But I digress.

Though your comment on a flames stat got me thinking: We need a fanfic site with a real good thorough rating system! I've seen a few that measure between 0-5 gold stars with partials... which is better than nothing. But it would be so much more fun, if you gave a chapter and/or story a rating from like 0-100 or at least 0-10 with each review. People have to actually leave comments when they rate, or else it'd be too easy to just flood the crap stories with zeroes. But it'd be nice to see two fics with like 5.5 out of ten. One of which has mainly fives with quite a few sevens, the other all zeroes and tens. Would certainly give you a better idea about fics. If only it wasn't always authors friends giving out full marks. (/me is thinking about like imdb's rating system, where you can see how many ppl voted what number etc...) Maybe even weight it so the story's rating is based on different people, not just total numbers, so person A reviewing all 35 chapters gives an average of 9.2 is worth a single 9.2 for the overall. And person B who only reviewed the last chapter and gave it a 6 is also worth a single 6 for the overall. Someone go do this! Actually... I'd rather just see fanfiction.net do this, because without a massive userbase the ratings would be too skewed and useless. Oh well.

Secret Cervus still cracks me up.

 

Been away for a couple of days but no more excuses - time to put my pride out for the whole world to see... errr... I blame this entirely on you, Nonjon! ))

Potter's Resistance 1: Breaking Ties
words: 74556
chaps: 6
reviews: 213
hits: 37908
c2s: 92
favs: 336
alerts: 331

The Imposter : 519 hits, 6 rev
The shortest Severitus story ever : 693 hits, 9 rev

Notice that my stupid Severitus one shot with 500 words got more hits/reviews than my other, much better one-shot with 6000 words. I guess all those I *heart* Sevvie fangirls make all the difference...

 

Yeah, things that appeal to others are all over the place weird.

I would have guessed your Severitus had more hits than the one that you spent more time on and is much longer just from the title.

But I still don't understand a lot of people. I mean, all of my one-shots, always have "Complete" "one-shot" in the summary, but still have at least 4 people on story alert. And it's not like it's the same four people on them. They're all different. Even the bloody Harry/Dobby April Fools Day, under an hour fic has four people on story alert.

And don't blame me. Just because we're all whipping ours out doesn't mean you have to. And even still, it looks like you've got more people reading your fic than I do reading mine.

srispg, on the other hand, I don't think has even updated since the hits have been reset. Or reset the time before that.

 

I do? Wow! I beat nonjon! I'm... like... like a .... a MAN now!!! ))

Honestly, I don't really care about stats and shit like that. I don't think I've ever visited stats page before today... Ok, maybe once, when I was checking out all the pages of the control panel.

As for the alerts count, I probably have such poor alerts/reviews rate coz I pretty much said it in AU's of chapter 1 that people should review only if they feel like it / have something to say. "Cool, UPDATE!!!!!!" reviews really don't do anything for me.

 

I visit the stats page quite often actually. Not for some desire to see if the hits count has increased but to check some of the C2s that my fic is listed in. The majority of them are centered around Independent Harry or Dark Harry so I check them regularly to see if there are any decent fics worth reading (which most often than not there aren't). I'm still trying to figure out to this day though why my fic is listed in a C2 entitled Slash, Vampiros y Veelas!

 

OOoooo....I kind of pity you...being placed beside all those things. But it could be that slash was just one of the catagories.

 

...Mine's in that c2 also. I guess my Harry is pretty close to a Veela, but still...SLASH. uke:

 

"He really is just a snarky greasy git" is nonjon's C2. You really shouldn't try to understand nonjon ))

 

It's good C2, though, one of the best.

 

Hey now!
This was when like 80% of the C2's were Snape-centric, Snarry, Severitus, Severus!Mentor, Potions and Snitches, etc...

And "My Bigger Favorites List" just didn't demean all the Snape-ful other C2's enough. So I just explained it as "He really is just a snarky greasy git"

I think I had a few other adjectives and bits about him sucking, being useless, and an excellent Avada Kedavra catcher, but there were limits on title length.

 

Ahhh, that's why... I'd always wondered what possesed you to name it like THAT.

Hmm... Maybe you should change it to respond to the new trends?
"That's the wrong hole, Potter - You don't have any other, Draco!"... Too long?... hmmmmm...

 

LMAO :lol: