Title: The Roaring Snake
Author: maidros78
Rating: T
Pairing: Harry P. & Millicent B
DLP Category: Independent
Chapters: 30
Words: 139,938
Updated: May 17, 2009
Published: August 13, 2007
Status: Complete
Link: FFNet
Summary: The story is AU and starts with Harry's first visit to Diagon Alley. While it does follow the general outline of PS, it diverges from the canon considerably. This story features an attempt at credible Harry/Millicent. It will also feature a more pro-active Minerva who helps Harry within her limits, and a more intelligent, observant and socially active Harry, in place of the angsty and reclusive social-reject of the HP series. It will also feature attempts by many others, including Voldemort, and Lucius to manipulate Harry.

This was a pretty interesting story. The actual manipulation are pretty subtle, if you weren't in on the take, and very believable. And Harry is depicted as the child he is, a fact most authors forget, but one that's actually got some smarts about him. He's starting to think for himself and slowly learning the rules of the game. Its a good start for an indy fic.

4/5

The author started a sequel, covering year 2 and 3:

Title: The Ten That Where Taken
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,788
Updated: January 5, 2011
Published: April 14, 2009
Status: Abandoned
Summary: This is the sequel to Harry Potter's first year, which was covered in The Roaring Snake'. This story will cover years 2 and 3. Follows canon outline, but not completely compliant. The accent is on developing Harry and his friends into strong team.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4994812/1/The-Ten-That-Were-Taken



Checked by Minion, June 20, 2013

 

I liked it. Seems a bit amateurish, but with luck it'll improve. I think the characterization of everybody besides the Malfoy family and Dumbledore is good, and I'm glad Harry didn't get sorted into Slytherin. 3.5/5

 

I liked it, the only concern I have is the characterization of Albus in the latest chapter. It just seems to me as if Albus's character will go over the top in the whole manipultation thingy.

3/5 for now, certainly worth keeping an eye on.

 

A nice one for sure. Sort of political Harry that starts right off PS. Fine development of Harry's character, subtle manipulations and in general, relatively level-headed characterization of all factions, which is especially important in political stories.

 

I really like the way that this story is going. It looks to be the start of a good
I!Harry that doesn't make him some sort of political super genius at age eleven. The characters are well written and believable, as are their motivations. Dumbledore seems like he's moving to hard and to fast for someone with as much political acumen as he is supposed to have, but it's not too bad, yet. That being said, this is a well written and engaging story that takes a common plot idea and presents in an original and believable fashion. 3.5/5 for now with plans to re-evaluate this story when it has a bit more length to it.

 

Dumbledore is a bit over the top, but aside from that I am enjoying it.

4/5, because I want to see in in the Library, not the bin.

 

I very much like this piece, especially as the author has fairly good diction and command of the language - even if there were a few typos here and there. I doubt, however, they were due to anything more than a missed key-stroke. There's far too few Hufflepuff!Harry stories to boot. 5/5

 

-_- *sigh* I haven't read it yet but thats the kind of thing that would put me off a story. People don't understand to be manipulative you tend to be as subtle as you can. Well I say 'People' mainly just shit writers .

Anyway I'll come back later with a rating when I've read it.

 

Millicent?!

...

Millicent?!?!

Is Harry horribly disfigured in this story or what? What's the basis for a Harry/UgliestGirlInSchool?

Let me know and I'll give this one a chance.

 

It seemed like the author neglected a little Harry's point of view; the story is more centered on what everybody wants Harry to be rather than Harry making his own plans.

Another thing I didn't particularly like is the Sorting Hat. A Sorting Hat is supposed to sort the children, to decide where they will go, and not let them decide where they want to go.

3.5/5

 

The story is good, 4/5. Enjoyable until now, well written and promising...


....

but why the fat chick?

 

8 chapters and no mention of Ugly, He/She could easily make this a Harry/Susan or Harry/Daphne!

The story seems alright up to now, I am reserving judgment for later chapters.

 

Very well written, although there is concern about the pairing. Nice political battle between Narcissa and Dumbles

If it stays with the current trend 4/5.

 

4/5
Scared by the pairing, Dumbledore is over the top, ect ect

 

I like the idea, but the execution is only so-so. I'm not really buying the Greengrass family story. Also, it's very hard to make Dumbledore manipulative and realistic but also ineffective. The ham handed Doge article is a good example--Dumbledore couldn't resolve that situation in a way that doesn't make an eleven year old suspicious? Really?

I also was a little disappointed at the Sorting Hat rolling over like a bitch. Maybe that was just my expectations from The Lie I've Lived bleeding over.

 

Hmm. A good start, really. It starts off slow, but to create new elements of the story, I can understand that. It'll be nice, however, to get the story rolling a little bit.

Instead of Dumbledore's Golden Boy, we get to see a Harry Potter forging his own friendships and alliances, and we'll be along for the learning process as well. So long as this story continues to develop along the same lines (and gets a taste of action), I'll be very happy to keep reading.

It really isn't developed enough yet to give a rating, but it's an interesting start.

 

Seemed quite good to me up to the point where Mrs. Greengrass says

"“Of course”, returned Priscilla. “Niki's husband is also willing to help. Between the four of us, we have all the important subjects and and quite a few talents covered. Even if we are not capable of some talents, we do have enough ability to help the children realise their potential. I can also ask Regulus and Rabastan to help, if it becomes necessary.”

One of the two is dead and the other in Azkaban.
Strangely from here on I found it hard to continue reading...

 

Does it look like it's following canon? no.

So in this authors world they are alive, get over it.

 

It may be a different Regulus and Rabastian. Lots of people have the same named. Maybe those names are popular in the wizarding world.

 

I was also going to suggest this but I thought 'Who else, but Lestrange, would name a kid Rabastian' XD