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Hooligan by thablackkuririn - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Memory King, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Location:
    Iceland
    Title: Hooligan
    Author: thablackkuririn
    Rating: T
    Genre: Fantasy-Drama
    DLP Category: The Alternates
    Pairings: None at the moment
    Status: Work in Progress
    Summary: Abused by the Dursleys and demonised by everyone in Little Whinging, Harry finally snaps. His retaliation lands him in St. Brutus' Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys. Four years later, a very different Harry is introduced to the wizarding world.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3383256/1/

    I think this story is very entertaining and rather well written. I rarely tolerate Abusing!Dursleys, but Harry's new attitude made that possible. He's smart and ruthless, yet not infallible. This story has a lot of promise IMHO, Harry's definitely not the Golden Boy here. The biggest downside is the extremely slow update rate.

    4.5/5
     
  2. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    Nearly a year to get up 3 chapters?
     
  3. Mindless

    Mindless Big Boss DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    United States
    It's an interesting story, but with that update rate it probably won't hold my attention. Still, a 4/5, because beating Dudley's ass with a whiffle bat has never been done before. I think.
     
  4. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    I remember this story. I read the first two chapters a while ago.

    It was written a bit too wordily, but overall, not too bad read. My major problem, if I remember correctly, was that Harry seemed more like your standard dark lord, than a hooligan.
     
  5. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    It got LAME in the third chapter. Dumbledore fucking Obliviating him and what not? fuck it. Not worth waiting for.
     
  6. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    errr is it just me, or is that accent they use HIGHLY annoying?

    coupled with the update rate, and the rather strange way the plot moves (dumbles oblivates him wtf?) i'm sorry but this story fails
     
  7. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Location:
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    Slasheh, its not just you.
     
  8. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    The writing has a very readable quality to it. It's interesting and sucks me in. But from what I can tell, this isn't the kind of story I would ever enjoy in small increments. When the whole thing is done, I may give it another shot.

    I just can't see the point of it so far. Is this really going to cover Harry's Hogwarts years? A conflict with the Dark Lord? Years and years of progression? The pacing flows smoothly but overall is barely crawling. It does feel like Harry is more 'birth of a Dark Lord' than just a hooligan. The accent bugs me, the excessively described violence bugs me, the lack of Harry Potter-ish things in a Harry Potter story, etc... It's unsatisfying. But in the context of a finished story, I can easily see these parts working. With just three chapters though, so far it doesn't work to me. 3/5 feels a little generous but this is better than a 2/5.

    (Though to be honest, I only gave this a shot because IP's use of the term "wordily" made me snicker. Wordily.)
     
  9. Croaker

    Croaker First Year

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Messages:
    34
    Location:
    Arizona
    I liked this, but then I'm a sucker for actually Divergent fiction.
    The writing's engaging. I read it in one sitting, at least, and that's rare.
    Still waiting for it to actually get to being Harry Potter in the wizarding world, though. While it's nice and probably necessary for the plot for all of this stuff to happen in the muggle world, it probably could have been condensed more.

    I dunno what's so confusing about Dumbledore "obliviating" Harry. We're talking about the same Dumbledore that saw how Tom Riddle turned out, right? I mean, considering the shit he does in canon, is it that far out there that he'd try and fix Harry into the Gryffindor Golden Boy?

    Whatever. It's actually divergent AU, so I tag it for 4/5.
     
  10. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

    Joined:
    May 30, 2007
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    420
    Location:
    Seattle, WA.
    New chapter as of the 17th...

    With the new chapter, I'm starting to see a plot develop rather than just another "wahhh, Harry's so abused." wangst fest followed by him getting even.

    I actually dug this chapter because it's so fucking frightening seeing how memory charms can be used.

    Harry was basically made to forget all his beatings and the attempts on his life and made to FEEL happy.

    Frankly the author sorta creeped me out with how sudden the schism between events really was.

    I'm gonna give this a wait till I see where the author takes it before I vote.

    It could be a really good fic if the author continues this trend.

    If you read the first two chapters and wrote it off... go back and read the third chapter... things start getting interesting.

    One thing that got me though was that I'm more than a little puzzled as to how his friend found the wizard that was trying to help Harry with the memory blocks that Albus put in him. If he takes the time to give a rational explanation for how he pulled that off... I'll be willing to suspend belief for now.
    I will say thought... him being from the Caribbean was a nice touch... because there's a lot of people from that area of the world who went to the UK in that time frame.
     
  11. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    Ugh, Garret, this thread was posted with 3 chapters to the story. As you would know if you actually read any of the thread.
     
  12. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    420
    Location:
    Seattle, WA.
    Shit, sorry bout that lincos, I'd read the fic a couple days before the 17th and didn't realize that it'd been updated to include a third chapter.

    If you read the fic with just the first 2 chapters it is kinda lame...

    My mistake.
     
  13. wwtMask

    wwtMask Squib

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    13
    Hey dudes, I'm the author of this story (I know, handle doesn't match the ff.net author name). For those of you who are following the story, I posted a new chapter today. I'll also be posting drafts of my chapters in the Works By Author board from now on, so if you feel like giving some constructive criticism, I'd appreciate it.
     
  14. Veri

    Veri Denarii Host

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2007
    Messages:
    350
    Location:
    The only state that doesn't suck.
    I'm pretty iffy on this story. It has a lot of potential, and the writing is smooth and engaging. I don't really like how he was obliviated, and i think Dumbledore is a little bit more than manipulative and seems almost dark-lord-ish, but it seems like it may work out eventually. All in all, good story so far, and i look forward to reading more.

    Veritas (also known as M3n7h01)