Two Weeks in the Alley by BajaB

[Heather_Sinclair]

Title: Two Weeks in the Alley
Author: BajaB
Rating: K+
Genre: Humor
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Pairings: None
Status: One Shot
Summary: 13 years old, a vault full of gold, and two unsupervised weeks in Diagon Alley – What’s a boy to do? Summer before PoA AU, some adult themes.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4036037/1/Two_Weeks_in_the_Alley

ADD!Harry or just about every 12 year old boy in real life. Cute in the beginning and about halfway through I snorted Pepsi through my nose


"What were you expecting, little human," laughed Spikestaff. "Barely dressed Veela cavorting in the dirt for your amusement?"

"Expecting, no," said Harry sadly. "Hoping - hell yeah! That’s the image the words ‘Magical Mud wrestling’ brings to my mind, not this obviously rigged play fight – DAMN IT, HE’S GOT A CHAIR, COME ON, REF - LOOK AT THAT! WHERE THE HELL DID HE GET A CHAIR FROM?"

Parody of a lot of cliches. Good for a laugh.

4/5

[fuubar]

I remember reading this awhile back. Not a whole lot more that I can add on to what you have already said, its fun and good for some laughs. One of the few younger!Harry who actually acts like a young teen and is not a whiny little pain in the ass to read about. 4/5

[hchan1]

A few of the running jokes get a bit tired by the time this wraps up, but it was still a blast to read. 4.5/5

[Jamven]

I was actually getting ready to post this here. Read it last night and loved it.I will admit that some parts could get a bit tiring but all in all, a very nice, light read.

4/5

[belladonna16]

I enjoyed several chuckles in this one as well. 4/5 from me!

[Korisovra]

4.6/5 I actually kind of enjoyed this one.

[scaryisntit]

A few of the running jokes get a bit tired by the time this wraps up, but it was still a blast to read. 4.5/5

Sums up my thoughts as well.

4.5/5 - interesting, humorous take on Harry's time at Diagon Alley. Nice to see him live a little, even if it does involve a random Goblin hiding in his backpack on occasion. Luna for the win.

[Memory King]

4.5/5 from me as well, I really liked this one. Characterisation and writing were both superb, and the basic concept remains extremely interesting. Overall well worth my time.

[LogrusMage]

...I did not expect this to be funny.

And then I lol'd.

4.5/5

The cart joke got old. The other jokes didn't.

[mbond98]

5/5.

Best 'Harry in the Alley' oneshot ever.

A fitting tribute to all of humanity.

[Iztiak]

Heh, great story. It's a great parody of those idiotic ally fics, and it's a good laugh in it's own right.

Also, I thought this one had a rather original idea, which I think could make a decent story.
"Death of a Nobody (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4106581/1/Death_of_a_Nobody)", it's another one-shot by the same author.

[scaryisntit]

Also, I thought this one had a rather original idea, which I think could make a decent story.
"Death of a Nobody (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4106581/1/Death_of_a_Nobody)", it's another one-shot by the same author.

That has an abudance of possibilities, some that I really, really would like to see played out. I really hope the author does turn it into a chaptered fic.

[Amerision]

This is utter crap.

I'm not seeing why this is getting so many good reviews - 4 stars is honestly far too much. It's shallow, basic, and utterly repetitive, not to mention clearly missing the concept of developed humor.

2.5/5

[SmileOfTheKill]

I agree with Amerision.
Humor isn't there, I didn't 'lol' at all.
2/5

[ParseltonguePhoenix]

Like Amerision, I don't see where all the high ratings for this one-shot are coming from. The only part I found truly funny was when the bodyguard tried to cook Sirius. The rest of it was written about an easily entertained child...to be read by easily entertained children. And that deserves somewhere around a 2.5/5, if you ask me.

On the other hand, Death of a Nobody was pretty damned good, and has great potential as a chaptered story, should the author go for it.

[LogrusMage]

I think a big part of humor is what you're expecting.

The first few people who read it were expecting crap, and were pleasently surprised. The last few thought it was going to be hilarious, and ended up not laughing at all.

I didn't laugh at all through the 40 year old virgin, because all anybody every did was tell me how funny it was. I was expecting to much, and it killed my laughs. I think that happens in basicaly every humor fic we reivew (except for the fucktarded ones).

[Heather_Sinclair]

Like Amerision, I don't see where all the high ratings for this one-shot are coming from. The only part I found truly funny was when the bodyguard tried to cook Sirius. The rest of it was written about an easily entertained child...to be read by easyily entertained children. And that deserves somewhere around a 2.5/5, if you ask me.

On the other hand, Death of a Nobody was pretty damned good, and has great potential as a chaptered story, should the author go for it.


I might be able to clear up why this story is funny to some and not funny to others ......... perhaps because everyone who reads the story doesn't have the same sense of humor. Hmm. See some people like toilet humor, while others like wry humor, and still others like satire. There are tons more out there. But calling those of us that liked that particular type "easily entertained children" .... hold on, <searching pockets> I know I've got a "fuck you" around here somewhere. Ah, here it is... fuck you!

If you don't like the story, great, not everything pleases everyone. State it, Rate it, and move on you pretentious prick.

[ParseltonguePhoenix]

Thanks Heather. I just found some humor in this thread after all. My apologies to all offended, but that's my opinion. Anyone else who doesn't like it can feel free to give me a fuck you or call me a pretentious prick, too. It'll only make me laugh.

[nonjon]

5/5 for me. Yes, I know it's flawed and with the kind of anti-climactic ending that makes you wonder the point of the story. The humor works in many parts and perhaps falls flat in others.

But there is lots of brilliance behind the ideas here and the story is nothing but pure undiluted fun. A bit fluffy, a fair amount unrealistic but it's just so damn refreshing to see Harry having nothing but non-stop fun for two weeks.

As some of the other comments have so kindly pointed out, this fic isn't hilarious. But I can't stop smiling at so many of the antics. It's more that is makes me happy than it makes me laugh. And since so many others don't seem to get it, that pushes it up to 5/5 for me because I feel like I do get it.

I read it when it was first posted, and re-read it a few weeks back. And someday in the future, I know I'll re-read it again. After the eye-gouging pain of angst fics (particularly unfinished/WIP ones that are nothing but torture since they're lacking any sort of happy ending), it's fics like these that refresh my interest in the JKR-verse.

[fash]

god fun to read, got a couple of chuckles out of me. 4/5

[MellowYellow]

Posted by mbond98

5/5.

Best 'Harry in the Alley' oneshot ever.

A fitting tribute to all of humanity.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

^ I agree.

[Anubis]

5/5. Absolutely hillarious. Shame that it is only a oneshot...

[silverlasso]

This made me laugh, especially with the "do-random-stuff" attitude. The trunk cliché was funny, as was the dancing dog stuff. 4.5/5

[Augurey]

Any story that ends with Harry in the same room as a troupe of veela contortionists gets +4 points in the Augurey Algorithm of Awesomeness. 5/5

[Garret P.I.]

4.5 out of 5.

Like nonjon I found myself smiling while reading it.

The fic really captured the age category that Harry was in at that time. Any kid, given the resources he's got, and having been as deprived as he's been would go banannas and have as much fun as they could while unsupervised.

While the humor might be missed by some... or they might think it's too "frivolous" or "immature"... well, to them I sez... tough noogies. It was entertaining.

[Redd Lenses]

It looks like its the war of the fanboys...

Amerison: "I don't like it!!11oneeleven!!"

Next couple posts: "I don't like it!!11oneeleven!!"

Nonjon: "I like it!!11oneeleven!!"

Next couple posts: "I like it!!11oneeleven!!"

;)

[Andromalius]

Best 'Harry in the Alley' oneshot ever.

This is the only one I've ever encountered. Do you happen to know any others?

[Snarf]

I must say that this didn't amuse me in the slightest. I started it with a big smile, seeing how everyone was like 'this is so, like, awesome!' but that ended up slowly receding into a frown. Depressing, and utterly disappointing. 1/5

[fuubar]

This is the only one I've ever encountered. Do you happen to know any others?

I read that and kind of thought that they meant any story that has Harry running around on a spree in Diagon Alley.

[Shadowglen]

I found this story entertaining. It's not a pinnacle of fanfiction or even all that great, but for what it was and what it set out to be it did it rather well.

Most of the jokes in it were almost spot on reminiscent of Rorschach's Blot's humor, with the notable exceptions in that it had an ending and only beat the jokes to a bloody pulp, rather than a slow agonizing death. Considering it’s a oneshot and not meant to be taken seriously, it still had some original takes on many clichés.

I'd give it a 4/5. Good for times when you want to be stupid.

[Lucullus]

The fic's okay, I guess. There's nothing wrong with it, but nothing special about it too.

The thing is, there doesn't seem to be any point or purpose for the fic at all. So while I don't think it's poor to warrant a single point or two, it doesn't deserve the high scores some have been giving it too. 3/5 is all it gets from me.

[Anubis Rex]

Its not the most epic comedy fanfic I've ever read, but it was funny and it was reasonably original. :eek: Outside of a select few authors, I wasn't aware there was anyone left in the fandom coming up with new ideas and then executing them with a modicum of skill. If anyone knows of an earlier fic with this plot, feel free to slap me a couple times with it, but until then, this gets major credit from me for originality. Beyond that, the grammar and spelling is good - I was immersed enough by the story that any minor errors went without notice - and the style flows well and is very readable. I actually laughed a couple of times reading this, and not a pity laugh or a sadistic one like usual: I found it genuinely humourous. 5/5; that was well worth my time.
</IMG>

[007_rock]

Good light read..... As a rule I don't expect much from one-shots other than spending half an hour or so..... This one was quite well-written and characterises a 13-year old quite well...

What I can't understand is why people are taking a one-shot Humour/Parody with such criticism???? It was just for a few laughs..... But everyone is entitiled to their own opinion so meh.....

Good one, I liked it..... 5/5 for a one-shot....

[carvell]

This is a great one-shot of an harry independent fic i've seen in a while, with this takeing place before 3rd year rather than after 5th thing's are alot different between this and other independent fic's, would an evil dumbledore have left Harry roam diagon ally for 2 week's to learn thing's even if he's only 12/13 year's rather that send him back home?. He wander's in and out of gringotts to learn about his money/property's, discover's new way's of learning via memory's, make's money etc etc.

iam surprised there are aren't other pre 3rd year independent fic's (which dosent have time travel) i mean at that point he's had his life threatened twice which is a good motivator to get any one to learn magic

5/5 even though some joke's were abit thin overall this was just a great well written fic.

[mjc]

“Bugger me,” said Harry, rubbing the top of his bleeding head gingerly.

“That’ll cost a bit more,” said the witch with a cheeky smirk.

Not a funny line?

Sheesh, some of you are a bit hard to please.

I found it at least moderately funny and somewhat Python-esque. Not an absolute side splitter, but funny enough to finish reading. It was better than about 90% of the rest of the so called humor fics around (technical and artistic).

I'd say 4 to 4.5/5.

[Dressed in Black]

Fucking stupid.

1/5

[the13thdragon]

There’s nothing really wrong with it, but it's not especially good ether.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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3/5<o:p></o:p>

[DoubleE]

Not the best fic in the world, but still a decent read that is light hearted and surprisingly dirty. Anyways, it is humorous enough for the library. 4/5.

[Lokesin]

I got about 4 actual lol's out of it, so it passes the bill for comedy.

Siriusly guys, don't take it so seriously. :)

<DUCKS>

Really though, one of the more original pieces I've seen in a while, and that itself is an accomplishment.

5/5

Edit: What's with the random "The Office" Emoticons?

[Argosh]

I read it, very funny story. Its one of those that you want a sequel for, but it will probably be better off as a one-shot.

[Archer]

So, I read it... it was a decent read and somewhat funny. I'll give it a 3/5.

[Illnill]

It made me laugh. That's all I need.

4/5

[elvin)]

Made me laugh a few times, and kept a smile on my face most of the time. Very light, which I find refreshing since there really aren't that many fics like it our there. Nobody else found hiring Hedwig a hooker funny? Personally that was one of the highlights of the fic for me. I also found the running cart joke to be pretty fun too though, and unlike so many of you didn't find it tedious by the end. 4.5/5

[Big D on a Diet]

Pretty average, but I made it all the way through (skimmed a little). With my attention span, that's reasonably impressive.

3/5 Couple of chuckles, not much else.

EDIT: I may be in the minority, but "Death of a Nobody" didn't do much for me at all.

[White Rabbit]

Fun read. Not really my type, but made me laugh.

[parselmaster]

I found it amusing, but I was under a lot of stress lately so this was nice. The jibes towards some of the older cliche' at the site were interesting. Not the best one-shot I've ever read but definitely not the worst. The goblin body-guard was my favorite character, and his introduction the funniest thing I found in there, at least in my current mentality. Harry, though, was out of character and though that usually is a good thing, I found it annoying after awhile. The ending was abrupt, and could have been done differently.

3.5/5

[LegalAlien]

I actually found it quite funny in parts, but that might just be that evil spicy thai chicken talking which we had for lunch... :)

Nah, seriously, the humour in this story is definitely not for everyone, but it got a few chuckles out of me, so I give it a 4/5, especially since it isn't bad written.

[Oz]

Mildly entertaining and it gave me few chuckles. Not something I'd bother rereading though...
3/5

[PapaMidNite56]

Great story. I had a lot of laughs reading it. It's one of the funniest fics that I've read lately



4.5/5

[MannequinMuse]

The story was a bit pointless and wandering. But, it was a comedy. It was meant to just make us laugh and think of the possibilities for fun if you were young and filthy rich in a magical London. Also for once Harry acts his age. A pleasant break from the angsting and sophisticated plots. The fic is good at what it sets out to do.

4/5

[Lawyer in Exile]

It was the perfect one-shot for the day: good laughs, no point at all, enjoyable read. 5/5.

[ramadden13]

This had enough humor to keep me entertained and was fairly original. The goblin's attempt to cook Sirius over a fire was my favorite moment. 4.5/5

[morgoth]

its verry funny and refreshing but like Amerision said It's also abit shallow, basic, and repetitive 4/5 for me

[Sree]

Huh. Wonder why this hasn't been moved from the For Review section yet. Library time. D:

[mbond98]

Someone on DLP complained something was 'shallow'? What is this bastardization of the world coming to?

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/ayj/vader-nooooo.jpg
^^Thanks to whats-his-face, who I stole this from.

[Memory King]

Someone on DLP complained something was 'shallow'? What is this bastardization of the world coming to?

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/ayj/vader-nooooo.jpg

Old News. (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/search.php?searchid=426394)

Good to see this fic in its proper place.

[mbond98]

Is that 'not found' on purpose, or is your link broken?

And, yes, its good to see it here. As I said:

A fitting tribute to all of humanity.

[Nuhuh]

This was very amusing. I enjoyed the digs the author made on some typical shopping spree stories, though they then went ahead and included similar cliches.

At any rate, I think it would be silly to get too critical about this story. It was fun, light, and short. That is all that it offers and I think succeeds in delivering.

4/5

[kmfrank]

I agree about some of the cliche's, but I also considered that most shopping sprees occur a bit later than this one did, and are more serious about him gearing up while this was more for fun.

I loved the mysterious goblin bodyguard in a backpack thing - good for a laugh.

I'll give this one a 4/5 as well.

-Kevin