1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Dead Link The Demon Within by Thor Nairda - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Rahkesh Asmodaeus, Jan 28, 2006.

  1. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Messages:
    5,129
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Title: The Demon Within
    Author: Thor Nairda
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Sci-fi
    Summary: Current readers of my other stories will probably read and enjoy this. After preparing for the war, Harry finds himself stranded in a different world, involved in its own war. Now he has to fight to survive, while looking for a way home. Will be quite dark.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2463017/1/

    - I like the story so far, a little gory as well.


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
    The story was deleted on / by ff.net, but is archived in the DLP archives. See SoS' post here: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showpost.php?p=601354&postcount=24
    If you know where to find another copy of this story, please inform the library staff.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. Mrriddler

    Mrriddler High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2005
    Messages:
    538
    Location:
    Somewhere high, somewhere low and somewhere in bet
    If you like Blood and gore, be sure to check out ch. 4. :lol: It's ahm, interesting in the Harry's Madness and Blackened Sunrise kind of way.
     
  3. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Thor is one of my favourite authors. The way he writes Harry's character, his powers, action scenes and romance in general are in the top 5 in HP fandom. Unfortunately, his work lately suffers from two flaws:
    1) Poor planning - he often changes directions in middle of the story and plans only few chapters in advance.
    2) Slow updates - it seems he has problems with education or some shit like that, so...

    Anyway, this story is the second best story he had written (out of 4). It has some great details and ideas, but he once again drasticly changed direction in mid-step, leaving some already made characters and subplots hanging... Creating an Alternate Reality world that mixes magic and SF-grade technology is interesting, but very hard sell even for the best authors. He's managing for now, but I can see how some might not like the direction this story had suddenly taken.

    Also, some people say that his torture scenes are a bit too rough, but I don't think and DLP member would loose much sleep over them...

    Other than that, it's great. Highly recomended read.
     
  4. Quack

    Quack Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2006
    Messages:
    68
    Probably my favourite story of his, or second next to Shadow. I don't really like the crossover yet. Well, I don't really like any crossovers, but hopefully he'll be able to pull it off. The gore is fine, you can't have Demon!Harry without gore... it just isn't right.
     
  5. Blackstar

    Blackstar Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    64
    Location:
    Brooklyn. NY
    I love Demon!Harry and ShadowMage!Harry

    He has both, He rules my world!!

    But he is seriously a good writer, just updates a bit slow, i really love the way harry killed the guards all nonchalant,

    Definition of badass :twisted:
     
  6. Rain

    Rain Pirate Navigator of the 7 Seas

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    597
    Location:
    Adirondack Park, NY
    I know! I was positively giddy after reading it. It's so rare to find good scenes like that anymore. Not to mention the violence was definitely lovable.

    Of course, the whole "alternate reality/crossover" bugs me a bit, but I can easily get over that.
     
  7. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2005
    Messages:
    679
    Location:
    The land down under
    Oh yeh i gotta agree with that bit, made me power on even harder to read the rest of the chapter. Is it a cross over with anything because it's nothing i recognise if it is? Anyway awesome story, come to think about it i kinda like this one more becasue Shadow has kinda gone down hill in the later chapters from my perspective...meh all good though.
     
  8. Lutris

    Lutris Jarl Dovahkiin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,665
    Location:
    Tokyo, Japan
    This is good, just as long as he doesn't go down hill on plot like he did in Shadow Play... that was really good until he started to get all Hogwartsy.
     
  9. sirius009

    sirius009 Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2005
    Messages:
    1,302
    Location:
    United States
    it started off great but i wish he hadn't created and alternate reality because his new world kinda sucks, but he's such a good author that i'll keep reading for now..
     
  10. sephiroththebrokenangel

    sephiroththebrokenangel Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2005
    Messages:
    128
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Alternate world

    I was really liking this some of my favorite fics are Demon!Harry but I just kind of lost interest after he went to the whole futuristic world with the spaceships...it was fairly pointless to me.
     
  11. Stalicon

    Stalicon High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2005
    Messages:
    568
    Location:
    That one place
    Yes I agree the story was great as it was...didn't need to take him to another world, normaly thats alright as a lot of people are doing it nowa days but...well it just seemed rather pointless.
     
  12. sirius009

    sirius009 Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2005
    Messages:
    1,302
    Location:
    United States
    if thor would've just kept harry in his own universe he could've developed the underused, underappreciated h/katie ship.
     
  13. moogleknight

    moogleknight Second Year

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Messages:
    64
    Location:
    Australia
    Approved! =O All though a bit short...... *annoyed*
     
  14. Regress

    Regress Guest

    You know, I liked the Harry/Katie stuff, and while the dimension jump was a bit odd, it kinda grew on me. Now I can't wait to read more of it. Of course considering the update schedule, I'll probably have to wait quite a bit, but I guess I can handle that.
     
  15. yojorocks

    yojorocks Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    286
    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    Idunno, I kind of adored this story, it's like a twisted crossover or a truly ingenious time travel (picture Voldie succeeding and this being a couple of millennia later; I thought he society he built and way of life was unique, which may be a major detraction for some people (because it definitely does NOT seem like traditional semi-canon HP in the last two chapters, but I like that type of thing on occasion).

    It seems to me that it is very well thought out if far fetched; the runic ideas he sprouts are ingenious and I wish that more people would take up this line of thought. I mean, spells are nice, but rune crafting seems to be an art for to write. "Maximus Cutterous" is crap, and while some people (nods at MrRiddler and Yarrgh!) can come up with new spells that work, almost no one uses runes or rune based magic because you have to pretty much create it as you go (as there aren't many groundwork fics or canon theories/examples.

    My only real complaint (aside from the extremeness of the AU) is the amount of sanity Harry is showing. After that much torture and being sent to God-Knows-Where, he still has a calm facade...wtf?
    A decent read for people who don't swear by canon and don't mind inventive ideas.
     
  16. killjoy

    killjoy Guest

    Is this a crossover with some existing fandom? Because if it is, I don't recognize it.
    Anyways, I think gore is great. But, if you read on until the author's last update, the fanfic says that Harry would get to stay a bit in the city. I mean, that's great and everything, but wouldn't they want to question him or keep him out of the city? He's killed the guards that kept him prisoner. That's great, heroic, and a nice thing to do. But he's not emotionally affected by this. So to the village/city leaders, Harry's a person who has killed before. Wouldn't they think that Harry's a possible threat/danger to society? Thank you, Harry. You've saved our people. But you turn into a bloodthirsty demon (figuratively, assuming that they don't know he actually turns into one). What's to stop you from killing others?
    If you ask me, the city officials who are allowing him to receive citizenship are naive, lenient, whatever. They're a bit too trusting. It's a bit unrealistic.
    But then again, over all, skip that part. The fic's a fine read.
     
  17. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Err, as far as I understood, they are following him everywhere he goes. What I don't like are these future magical weapons that use can use without any training at all. Pretty manga-like and overall lame IMO.
     
  18. Ham

    Ham First Year

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2006
    Messages:
    21
    Thor is a wonderful author and his original ideas are always entertaining.

    So far the fic has been a good read. I just hope he doesn't go the Joe69991 way and get involved in another world's war and it goes on and on for chapters and chapters.

    I think that was the thing that ruined the Sword of the series for me and hope the mistake isn't repeated.

    I for one would love to see him back on earth and ripping up couple dozen DE's.
     
  19. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,929
    I don't particularly like this story. It was ok I suppose, at least in the beginning, but when it went into the bad sci-fi/AU with weird weapons/vehicles/whatever is when it really started to go downhill.(in my opinion at least)
     
  20. Ogryn01

    Ogryn01 Squib

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2006
    Messages:
    6
    I thought harry transformation into a demon was an interesting aspect to the story. The fight scenes so are decent. A thing that bugs me is his quick learning curve to AU technologies. Though I just hope author makes the Au universe interesting enough to not let story go downhill.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2006