PDA

View Full Version : [Complete] Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod By Heather Sinclair


Antivash
06-15-2008, 11:40 AM
Title: Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod
Author: Heather Sinclair
Rating: T (PG-13)
Genre: General/Horror
DLP Category: General/Dark
Pairing: H/Padma
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,335
Updated: December 29, 2008
Published: June 14, 2008
Status: Complete
Summary: Every seventy years members of the Order of the Bath, a British order of chivalry, are being killed off. That is until Harry is brought in to hunt the killer or killers down.
Link: Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod (FFn) (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4323036/1/Gentleman_Usher_of_the_Scarlet_Rod) Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod (PC) (http://patronuscharm.net/s/129/1/)

Interesting read, especially for someone like me who has an interest in old Irish mythology and such. The mention of the Tuatha De Danann was cool. I've already spent time researching that stuff for my Dresden crap, so it was kind nifty to see it somewhere else.

The story itself is only one chapter, but I still liked it so far. Not enough to give a rating for though.

As for the content available, its pretty good. I liked Harry's characterization and the end bit with the hot oil and padma and Harry was sweet. I LOL'd.

Rating for later, when more is added.

<_< At least the bitch didn't kill Hannah this time.


Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012

Korisovra
06-15-2008, 12:31 PM
It was an interesting little piece. I'm looking forward to seeing more. I'll rate it asfter a few more chapters.

Sesc
06-15-2008, 12:39 PM
Well, solid work as usual, Heather. I hate the 'accept first, answers later'-thing, but that's just something personal -- I tend to refuse there on principle. Makes me actually want to read a story where there is all that build-up, mystery and what have you, and when the protagonist is thrown into said situation he says no, goes home, grabs a beer and the story is over >_>

Err ... anyway, looks certainly interesting so far, and Padma + warm oil is something I want for my birthday.

The only problem I could see ... you have already a bunch of stories going -- d'you have time for them all? What is the status of, say, War of Wills or 24 Hours to Live anyway?

eXcalite
06-15-2008, 12:39 PM
Scarlet Rod? Naughty. Liked it and especcialy Harry's character.

knothead
06-15-2008, 12:59 PM
Intriguing. I'll be on the lookout for future chapters. I wonder what role Padma had in Harry's anointment ceremony (which is what I think what happened).

Heather_Sinclair
06-15-2008, 03:37 PM
Vash- Holy crap, I wasn't expecting this to be up on DLP so quick. I tripped across the Tuatha De Danann while I was doing research for ULFD and knew I needed to use it for this story. I plan on abusing the legends so don't get used to it being close to what it's supposed to be. It got me writing is again after it was sitting on my HD for about a year. Thanks for the rec, baby!

Sesc- So everyone will know what the heck I'm doing ...
ULFD chap 3 is at the beta and I am keeping myself busy until it arrives. So Scarlet Rod is 2nd up, and all the rest of my unfinished stories are for when Mr. Writer's Block comes to sit on my face.

I have not abandoned anything so no worries there. I'd say 24, and War of Wills are the other two that I work on the most.

eXcalite- I knew someone was going to crack a joke at the name, LOL. ANd you can bet Harry will as well.

"Padma, would you like to play with my Scarlet Rod?"

Come on I need good joke material here.

Knothead- More on the annointing ceremony later. You get a little hint in chapter two but everyone will find out what went on. Don't worry.

Antivash
06-15-2008, 03:59 PM
Vash- Holy crap, I wasn't expecting this to be up on DLP so quick. I tripped across the Tuatha De Danann while I was doing research for ULFD and knew I needed to use it for this story. I plan on abusing the legends so don't get used to it being close to what it's supposed to be. It got me writing is again after it was sitting on my HD for about a year. Thanks for the rec, baby!



Ya ya D: but you skipped the important bit! Hannah! Is she dead?!;_;

Heather_Sinclair
06-15-2008, 04:08 PM
Ya ya D: but you skipped the important bit! Hannah! Is she dead?!;_;


Well the story is young yet, and there might be a Lovecraftian oogie out and around. Chances are ... maybe. Vash, baby, I wouldn't do that to you two stories in a row. I think she's off with Susan having a torrid lesbian experience. Is that better? I could always bring her in with the warm oil and they could have their own "annointing ceremony."

Antivash
06-15-2008, 05:56 PM
Well the story is young yet, and there might be a Lovecraftian oogie out and around. Chances are ... maybe. Vash, baby, I wouldn't do that to you two stories in a row. I think she's off with Susan having a torrid lesbian experience. Is that better? I could always bring her in with the warm oil and they could have their own "annointing ceremony."



o.o

Now thats just unfair. <_<

But as to the general public of DLP, I feel I must apologize. I have been horridly mistaken, as one was kind enough to point out with many incentives, this story was first posted and debuted on Patronus Charm. I havent been in days, so I didn't notice.

Link added above, correcting this. Chapter two is also posted on PC.

Lord Ravenclaw
06-15-2008, 07:32 PM
PC link bolded for intense winnery.

In 1.0.2 there's a filter to fix the styling problem for stories like Gentlemen Usher.


So far I'm quite enjoying this story. Horror/Mystery is always an enticing genre. I'm somewhat reminded of The Dresden Files, but far different. 4/5 from me, I quite look forward to the rest.

Andro
06-15-2008, 07:53 PM
OMG, Harry wielding a Sting!sword is awesome.

Hope to not see the update rate taper off into oblivion.

Blaise
06-15-2008, 10:33 PM
Excellent work. 4/5 (In b4 Sree starts screaming "Indian cunt")

scaryisntit
06-16-2008, 03:41 AM
Just read the second chapter and liked it considerably more than the first. I reviewed already - spelling mistake included (yay) - so I'll leave it at that.

4/5 - pending further updates. Considering your other work, Heather, this'll be as low as you get from me.

Heather_Sinclair
06-16-2008, 07:39 AM
Just read the second chapter and liked it considerably more than the first. I reviewed already - spelling mistake included (yay) - so I'll leave it at that.

4/5 - pending further updates. Considering your other work, Heather, this'll be as low as you get from me.


Thank you for your confidence. I'll do my best not to let you down.


J.B. - Does Sree have something against the lovely Miss Patil?

Andro - I swear I didn't steal the Sting!sword from LOTR. It is actually part of the legend of the Four Treasures. Maybe that's where Tolkien stole it from? But Harry is not going to being wielding in it battle, or at least not effectively. No mad swordsmanship skillz for the wizard. No sweaty sword training scenes, only sweaty anointing ceremonies. Oops, TMI.

I think I showed his wariness toward using the weapons instead of his magic. It will probably be the last line of defense if he loses his wand or something.

Raven - Mmmm, thanks for the glowing link, baby. It makes me feel all tingly inside.

Vash - Thanks for the correction!

Everyone - I promised Raven that I would post my newest story at PC first. I'm posting updates there and then a few days later at FF.net. So FF.net will always be a chapter behind. So it should be obvious if you want the latest goodies then go to PC!

scaryisntit
06-16-2008, 07:46 AM
J.B. - Does Sree have something against the lovely Miss Patil?

Not directed at me, but meh.

Padma is Indian. Sree hates Indians. They don't mix.

Blaise
06-16-2008, 04:16 PM
Padma is Indian. Sree hates Indians. They don't mix. Word. <filler>

thisperson
06-16-2008, 04:32 PM
Not directed at me, but meh.

Padma is Indian. Sree hates Indians. They don't mix.

Word. <filler></filler>

Sree is Indian.

Just felt like throwing that out there for those who don't know.

;)

:::

Anything that's Patil related can't be bad in my book.

>.>

...Unless it sucks hard.

4/5

FollowTheReaper
06-16-2008, 05:12 PM
...Unless it sucks hard.


Depending on who it (she) sucks >_>
Like, Harry? For example?...

Jeram
06-17-2008, 12:33 AM
Heather, I enjoyed the first chapter quite a bit, but I haven't read the second chapter yet - take a look at my review to see all my specific comments.

So far, I'd say 4/5 - but I'll wait to vote until I read the next chapter.

-J

Gizmore
06-17-2008, 12:53 AM
I kinda like it so far, needs more horror though. :)

ParseltonguePhoenix
06-17-2008, 03:45 AM
The beginning is interesting. I know exactly shit about British 'Orders' and whatnot, so this will probably get me into looking at the real thing, too. Look forward to seeing more.

eXcalite
06-17-2008, 06:59 AM
"Glows in the presence of pure evil" I think I know where you got that idea :D And once again: I love the way you portray Harry. Funny as hell. Hope to see more soon

yhelo
06-17-2008, 07:45 AM
Interesting.

It isn't long enough to rate yet though.

Heather_Sinclair
06-17-2008, 07:47 AM
Jeram - Thanks!

Gizmore - Check up at the top of the story to find out a bit more info. While this will be a Horror story it will not be a gorefest in likes of today's cinema. It will be more Lovecraftian/Dumas. And that should be rearing its head in the next couple of chapters. There has to be a decent amount of suspense before whipping out the 'bloodsoaker.'

ParseltonguePhoenix - British Orders aren't really that interesting, unless you are into that sort of thing. It's 'mostly' political maneuvering. But it does set the scene nicely. You can do a Wikipedia search on it. The info they provide is actually almost accurate.

eXcalite - The glowing-thing is an accurate description of the legend surrounding the sword. The only thing that isn't 'true' is the expanding trait of the cauldron. I added that because it would look silly to have Harry carting around a really large pot everywhere he goes.

eXcalite
06-17-2008, 08:21 AM
Ahh ok. I was reminded of Frodo's sword from LOTR which glows in the presence of orcs.

Heather_Sinclair
06-17-2008, 11:40 AM
I've received a number of queries about what the Order of the Bath actually does. I think I already have too many "info dumps" in this story as it is and have purposely left the information out because I will be going into Harry's duties later in the story.

Here is a decent summary of the Order
http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_the_Bath (http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_the_Bath)

But in a nutshell, it was formed to create a political base for someone high in the government at the time. Over the years it has grown to be a reward for military types when their career ends, special services to the Crown, heads of state, etc. It's a group that can supposedly hold themselves up above others when they aren't included in peerage.

They don't "do" anything, officially anymore.

In the beginning they would "sponsor" a few people (pay for their training, housing, etc in times of need. They would be "Knights." They have the military for that now and most of them are old farts anyway.

Inziladun
06-18-2008, 08:56 AM
Seems good, I liked Harry's carefree attitude, and it seems promising and even though it seems DH complying there is no mention of Ginny, right now 4/5 because its still short.

Goddessa39
06-19-2008, 08:00 PM
Harry is strung along too often, I think. He needs to be a little stronger, but then Im sure part of that is Padma's fault.

It needs more, but it isnt bad altogether. 4/5.

Marsupial
06-19-2008, 09:22 PM
Intriguing, but it lacks - at least so far - any real element of danger. If officer appointments are not for life but may be resigned at any time, why don't all officers resign every 69 years, 364 days with the implicit understanding that the queen would reinstate them in a week or two? Granted there's a murderer running around, but s/he seems rather easily avoided. Still well-written and entertaining, regardless.

Heather_Sinclair
06-19-2008, 09:51 PM
Intriguing, but it lacks - at least so far - any real element of danger. If officer appointments are not for life but may be resigned at any time, why don't all officers resign every 69 years, 364 days with the implicit understanding that the queen would reinstate them in a week or two? Granted there's a murderer running around, but s/he seems rather easily avoided. Still well-written and entertaining, regardless.


Well the answer to that question is easy enough and has already been given. The seventy years is not an exact number, it's around seventy years. Secondly, each time the murders have occurred they've been thought ended permanently. Padma said all of this already. It wasn't until the first murder happened again that they knew it had returned.

Although I guess it could be argued that they could be "laid off" for a year if that was the case. But would it have made a difference to the murderer if they didn't hold the position only by technicality? I've tried not to have any gaping plot holes so thanks for keeping me on my toes nonetheless.

I go into the past murders in the next chapter so it will be a little easier to understand why they thought it was already over and why they've had such little time to prepare, etc.

It should be out either tomorrow or Saturday at the latest.

Xanatos
06-20-2008, 11:27 AM
I have to say, at the start I really struggled, seemed like it was going to be a bit to heavy for me but it totally came through, love Harrys characterisation

Looking forward to the next chap

4/5

Marsupial
06-20-2008, 07:32 PM
it's around seventy yearsI must admit that I missed that particular subtlety.

Let me revise then: Why not, after the first suspiciously violent death, have the remaining members resign for a while? It doesn't prevent all deaths, (and thus the search for the killer[s] is necessary), but it at least minimizes them in the interim, making everything far less urgent.

Devils advocate at this point. The 'around' was enough for me.



-

Antivash
06-22-2008, 05:52 PM
Updated!

And holy shit, Heather! Thats awesome. :D I cant wait for Rupert to die! ^_^

I love what you did with Lovecraft too. ^_^

eXcalite
06-23-2008, 02:22 AM
Meeh. Too short :D But great nontheless. Next time moar of Harry's humor please?

Heather_Sinclair
06-24-2008, 07:24 AM
I must admit that I missed that particular subtlety.

Let me revise then: Why not, after the first suspiciously violent death, have the remaining members resign for a while? It doesn't prevent all deaths, (and thus the search for the killer[s] is necessary), but it at least minimizes them in the interim, making everything far less urgent.

Devils advocate at this point. The 'around' was enough for me.


Because the evil we are talking about here is not going to care about technicalities. Granted, the Order doesn't know that, but they also believe that the killer has been taken care of each time ... they were wrong.


@Xanatos - Thanks for holding on. My opening chapter is usually my worst in every story. So if you can make it through that then everything else is usually good.

@Vash - Well I can't tell you about Rupert as of yet, but you can expect lots of creepy fight scenes in the future. I'm going more for the "BAMB ... well that didn't work ... BAMB ... eeewww that's gross! ... BAMB ... how is this fucker still alive ... BAMB ... Harry, could you please let go of my breast ... BAMB"

@eXcalite - Harry's blood sugar is just too low -- well, that and there was just too much info dumping in chap 3, humor will return fairly early in chap 4. I'm also trying to keep the chapters between 4-5k as to make updates more frequent. I learned that lesson with ULFD. I always wind up rewriting the monster chapters 5-6 times.

I'm already about 1/3 of the way through with chap 4 so it should be out before the weekend, maybe sooner if my inspiration continues.

Antivash
06-24-2008, 10:01 PM
@Vash - Well I can't tell you about Rupert as of yet, but you can expect lots of creepy fight scenes in the future. I'm going more for the "BAMB ... well that didn't work ... BAMB ... eeewww that's gross! ... BAMB ... how is this fucker still alive ... BAMB ... Harry, could you please let go of my breast ... BAMB"

Updated and I have to say...

XD Gods. I loved that chapter. That was awesome, seriously so. I lol'd out loud once or twice, but that may be the Painkiller High I'm on at the moment.

Very well done, though. I thought you did an excellent job with the fight and its nice to see Harry as chipper as ever. Quickly become a favorite story of mine.

The creature was interesting as hell too. Nice little backstory to go with it. I confess to knowing dick all about Lovecraft though so I have no idea if they're all yours or if its a half and half deal. Still, pwnt.

Heather_Sinclair
06-24-2008, 11:23 PM
Updated and I have to say...

XD Gods. I loved that chapter. That was awesome, seriously so. I lol'd out loud once or twice, but that may be the Painkiller High I'm on at the moment.

Very well done, though. I thought you did an excellent job with the fight and its nice to see Harry as chipper as ever. Quickly become a favorite story of mine.

The creature was interesting as hell too. Nice little backstory to go with it. I confess to knowing dick all about Lovecraft though so I have no idea if they're all yours or if its a half and half deal. Still, pwnt.


I think my head is swelling from all the praise you give me, Vash. ANd since I'm a girl there should be no swelling heads ... (shudder). BTW GO PAINKILLERS!!! Woo Hoo!!

I also know ... dick all.. about Lovecraft except for the campy stuff from the Evil Dead movies... GO ASH! "Cast a Deadly Spell" etc.

But I my psycho brother gave me "Call of Cthulhu" RPG for my birthday last year and I've learned a little through that. I found the hound thorough the game book and did a little research on it. Most of the things I've said are "true" according to the Mythos. I've tweaked it here and there for dramatic effect, though.

Apparently there is an actual book called "The Hound of Tindalos" by Long, I think.

Pic of hound: Though mine has been pimped up a bit to look meaner, bigger, more evile, etc. so this is just their rendition
http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u272/viceverza1/1144775401_u-Tindalos.jpg



Anyway, now that we know ... maybe... what the killer is, we can get down and dirty. Evil is afoot! WooHoo GO EVIL!!

eXcalite
06-25-2008, 05:28 AM
Great...fucking hilarious Did I mention great? This is my favorite Harry right now. And I knew that line would find it's way into your sig.

P.S. Just noticed that this is in the Dark Arts. I always though only dark Harry gets posted here?

edit: I was wondering..how do these hounds become aware of the Order members they are supposed to kill every seventy years?

Heather_Sinclair
06-25-2008, 07:41 AM
Great...fucking hilarious Did I mention great? This is my favorite Harry right now. And I knew that line would find it's way into your sig.

P.S. Just noticed that this is in the Dark Arts. I always though only dark Harry gets posted here?

edit: I was wondering..how do these hounds become aware of the Order members they are supposed to kill every seventy years?


I hope that I will continue to provide quality entertainment!

Dark Arts - Well, it is a 'dark' Horror story, so I suppose it would fit better there than any other place. Maybe General, but that is such a lame catagory. I much perfer something that is actually labeled. It's easier to refer to when you don't know what you want to read.

How do the hounds know? Now that would be telling, and one of the major plot points of the story, so I can't reveal that as of yet. Sorry, baby. Although I can tell you 'some' of the clues have already been revealed in relation to the hounds. You can do a Wiki search on them and find out some of the mythos, but it's not a very good article and displays almost none of the horror of the creature.

I promise I won't pull the reason out of my ass at the very end just to close the plot point. There will be clues along the way.

Jamven
06-25-2008, 11:29 PM
You just had to throw in that bit about pegging, eh?

*edit*
Adding a bit more to my post...

I know next to nothing about the lore that you are using in the story. How much of the story is based in actual lore and legends... If that made any sense at all

I must say that I am enjoying it nonetheless. I keep waiting for the next update to come...

Heather_Sinclair
06-26-2008, 07:09 AM
You just had to throw in that bit about pegging, eh?

*edit*
Adding a bit more to my post...

I know next to nothing about the lore that you are using in the story. How much of the story is based in actual lore and legends... If that made any sense at all

I must say that I am enjoying it nonetheless. I keep waiting for the next update to come...

Okay, since I don't know specifically of which lore you speak I'll cover them all.

Order of the Bath - An Order of Chivalry in England. They have like a dozen of these types of Orders. This particular one stands 3rd or 4th highest depending on who you ask. Very sought after in certain circles.

The Four Treasures - Lore of Ireland. There is an actual sword in an Irish Museum that they claim is the real sword. Dunno about where the rest is. I am following the lore fairly close, but added a couple of things to pimp them up, and took away a couple of things to not make Super!Harry.

Horror Elements:

Mostly from the mind of H.P. Lovecraft et al. An American writer around the turn of the 20th century. Think of the Mythos as the "Shadowrun" of the time. Numerous authors wrote their own accounts of his universe.

Necronomicon, The Hounds of Tindalos, The Great Old Ones, The Elder Gods, Miskatonic University, and others are all part of his Mythos. They are all true in the sense that they all have been written about in his books. Again I've taken certain liberties with the legends.

I will be introducing one or two other elements into the mix. We won't be coming back to MU. It served its purpose already so there won't be 50 different things to remember concerning the mystery from this aspect.


Anything I miss?

Edit: Oh yes, the pegging ... well Harry is up on the latest thing and it is 2007 so yeah, lol, I had to add it.

eXcalite
06-26-2008, 05:36 PM
Wtf is pegging? (Besides my google translation)

Jamven
06-26-2008, 05:47 PM
Wtf is pegging? (Besides my google translation)

A man lets a women take him up the ass with a strap-on...

Heather_Sinclair
06-26-2008, 06:32 PM
Wtf is pegging? (Besides my google translation)


http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=9957

Here is a thread where we discussed the topic.

Please enjoy with my compliments. (snicker)

Covil
06-27-2008, 03:40 AM
Perhaps I should have read more. I could not get past the meeting with the queen. She gives him a little reprimand and he is behaving like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. I just hate the monarchy and any hereditary position or title so much, and any story where they are treated as more than the leeches on society that they are piss me off.

But with all these rave reviews maybe I will give it another shot...

Rainstorm
06-27-2008, 06:17 AM
The Hounds are like fire, and ice, and rage. They are like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun. They are ancient and forever. They burn at the centre of time and they can see the turn of the universe.

Isn't this a quote from Dr Who or did the writers steal it from somewhere else?

Good job on the story, it's really fun to read. The banter, fighting and general atmosphere flow nicely and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

eXcalite
06-27-2008, 06:31 AM
I'll go out on my leg here and say that if it is indeed a quote from Doctor Who they probably quoted it from Lovecraft :D

Heather_Sinclair
06-27-2008, 07:11 AM
I'll go out on my leg here and say that if it is indeed a quote from Doctor Who they probably quoted it from Lovecraft :D


Bingo!

It is from "The Hounds of Tindalos." by Long (c.1921 I think). Officially part of the Lovecraft Mythos. I can also say that the Hounds were never actually described fully in the story so that part is mostly me. The one thing I never liked about Lovecraft and the Mythos in general is the creatures were described mostly through the character's emotions and not with actual physically descriptive words. The line above is very consistent with the stories.
</IMG>

Seratin
06-27-2008, 01:54 PM
Heather Sinclair is my new favorite member of DLP. That is all.

MonCappy
06-28-2008, 01:39 AM
Isn't this a quote from Dr Who or did the writers steal it from somewhere else?

Good job on the story, it's really fun to read. The banter, fighting and general atmosphere flow nicely and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
I've really enjoyed the banter between Harry and Padma. I look forward to the day they shag each other senseless.

Sesc
06-28-2008, 01:44 AM
I look forward to the day they shag each other senseless.

I heard Heather is going to write a special outtake on that one just for us.

Warlocke
06-28-2008, 06:57 AM
Enjoying it so far. Nice to see a not-often-used pairing and a post-Voldemort story that has zilch to do with the epilogue or the rewriting thereof. :)

However, a few things popped out at my tired eyes in chapter three.

Patil became Patel at least once.

Necronomicon was spelled Nerconomicon.

A book was referred to as a tomb, rather than a tome (rule 36 (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showpost.php?p=159967&postcount=37)). Granted, if any book could double as a receptacle for the dead, it would be the Necronomicon, but... No. Just no.

And Revealio should be Revelio.

You may want to watch your comma usage, when you're separating part of a sentence from the rest.

For instance, I would think that this: "The Dean at the time, Sir Arthur Trench discovered the whereabouts of the true Claiomh Solais."

Should be this: "The Dean at the time, Sir Arthur Trench, discovered the whereabouts of the true Claiomh Solais.

Of course, my spelling beats my punctuation any day of the week, so I could be mistaken.

There was something else that I noticed, but I can't recall what it was.

Time for sleep.

Heather_Sinclair
06-28-2008, 07:37 AM
Enjoying it so far. Nice to see a not-often-used pairing and a post-Voldemort story that has zilch to do with the epilogue or the rewriting thereof. :)

However, a few things popped out at my tired eyes in chapter three.


Thank you for your compliments and thank you for spotting the badness that are my typos.

This story currently has no beta as she is currently tied up with ULFD which I'm considering trashing because I'm on the 7th rewrite of the next chapter and I still can't get it right. And since this is turning out to be a much better idea I am inclined to do so post haste.


@Seratin - Um, thanks? I have no idea what I did to deserve that, but okay. You're still not getting pics of my tits.

@MonCappy - I like the banter too. It's much better than the sniping between Hr/R because you can actually see the underlying sexual attraction instead of just the flat out insults. You can look at H/P and say "they really need to shag." But look at the rating again, sugar. The most you are going to see is a heavy petting scene which is not really applicable to the storyline. It's not a romance. There will be a "sex scene" later in the story, but it will be pursuant to the plot. Until then there might be "morning after" scenes.


@Sesc - (buzzer) sorry, baby. Lies, all lies. I've written Harry/Tonks porn before and it was lacking. Of course that was years ago. But you never know ... an omake might pop up here or there.

Update: Trashed half of chapter 5 because it was seriously dragging. hopefully having it out by Monday. But the last time I said that it was out the next day. Don't you love when you are writing and suddenly you look up and you are done?
</IMG>

MonCappy
06-28-2008, 09:06 AM
I am aware it isn't romance. In any case including a sex scene does not make the story a romance either. Besides, I am actually looking forward to the next appearance of the Hound of Tindalos. I do wonder is someone or something is sending out the hound.

Sesc
06-28-2008, 09:20 AM
Lies, all lies.Well, damn >_<

First the cake, and now this. But I think I'll decide to still like you >_>

On a side note, good to hear about the next chapter. On a second side note, even better to hear that an omake is not completely impossible. They must have still oil left over from that ceremony. Harry wants to use it on Padma, I just know it.

Seratin
06-28-2008, 11:15 AM
@Seratin - Um, thanks? I have no idea what I did to deserve that, but okay. You're still not getting pics of my tits.

I'm not in it for the tits. You've added to the pool of awesome Padma fics out there. That means you win.

EDIT: I won't say no to a quick flash though...

Antivash
06-28-2008, 01:33 PM
Snippity

...(rule 36 (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showpost.php?p=159967&postcount=37))...

Snip!


-__- you need to add an entry to that. One involving the unforgiveables.


Firstly, The Killing Curse's name is horrifically simple to remember. It is not named after its incantation. Its named after what it does. It kills. How the fuck can you not remember that. D:

The same of the Cruciatus Curse and the Imperious curse. They are not named after their incantations either.

STOP THIS SHIT NOW.

Uhg that pisses me off something fierce. FIERCE LIKE A FIERCE SNAKE! DX<

Anyway... yus. Moar tits and Hannah plox! ^_^

Heather_Sinclair
06-28-2008, 02:36 PM
-__- you need to add an entry to that. One involving the unforgiveables.


Firstly, The Killing Curse's name is horrifically simple to remember. It is not named after its incantation. Its named after what it does. It kills. How the fuck can you not remember that. D:

The same of the Cruciatus Curse and the Imperious curse. They are not named after their incantations either.

STOP THIS SHIT NOW.

Uhg that pisses me off something fierce. FIERCE LIKE A FIERCE SNAKE! DX<

Anyway... yus. Moar tits and Hannah plox! ^_^


Thank you Vash. This is Number 2 on my personal list of peeves, second only to using 50 cliches in the first chapter of a story, and 3rd being the "Room of Requirements". I sometimes wonder if people read the same book that I read.

I stick the 3 Unforgivables into this rule #2. I will never be "Avada Kedaveradeded, AK'd, Avada'd, nor will I be Crucioededed, and lastly there shall be no Impirioing. (Misspellings were on purpose)

No tits for you either, baby. Though I will tell you that Hannah, and Su Li are making an appearance in Chapter 5. No warm-oil-lesbian-scene with Susan as of yet though.

Chengar Qordath
06-29-2008, 05:58 AM
The one thing I never liked about Lovecraft and the Mythos in general is the creatures were described mostly through the character's emotions and not with actual physically descriptive words.

Well, one of the big theme's Lovecraft always brings up in his stories is that the monsters can't be described; they're so utterly alien that there are no words in any human language to describe them. Besides, considering the fact that a lot of Cthulu mythos monsters can drive you insane if you ever look at them it would be hard to come up with a description that would do such a monster justice.

Since I'm a fair Lovecraft fan I'm enjoying this story, though I hope your ending is a little less dark than the Lovecraft standard; having Harry end up dead or in a mental asylum after seeing something that snapped his mind would be a bit of a letdown.

Antivash
06-29-2008, 07:10 AM
LOL ... Awesome chapter. Not really a huge amount going on. But I do want to ask one clarifying question about the end of the chapter;

So... Did he bang Greengrass or not? XD Lulz.

eXcalite
06-29-2008, 06:39 PM
1. Great chapter
2. Wasn't it Vincent Vega who said that they call them Quaterpounder with Cheese in Amsterdam and not in the US?
3. How dare you just skip the naughty parts?!

Heather_Sinclair
06-29-2008, 07:03 PM
1. Great chapter
2. Wasn't it Vincent Vega who said that they call them Quaterpounder with Cheese in Amsterdam and not in the US?
3. How dare you just skip the naughty parts?!


1. Thank you!
2. It's been a while since I've seen it but I believe he said a "Royal with cheese", but it's neither her nor there since he was in Mass. in the States when he ate it, so Double Quarter Pounder w/cheese ... a #4 on their combo meals in most states. Yes, I go to McD's way too much.
3. PG-13 baby!! You'll see ... or rather read a steamier scene in a few chapters.

@Chengar Qordath - Yea, I realize that the whole thing is "OMG my brain is frying." But still --it would be like be describing the hound as "terrifying" and you were just supposed to be scared by them. I've read a few outtakes from Lovecraft and I was more "huh?" I was never scared at all.

@My beautiful Morning Star Vash - The next chapter will be pure undiluted action as far as I can realistically write it. And the answer to your question is, pfft, of course. Harry's balls CLINK! CLINK I SAY!!!

And hey! You didn't mention your darling Hannah. She'll be in the middle of the action next chapter ... that means danger, and heh, possible death in the mix.

Chengar Qordath
06-29-2008, 07:33 PM
@Chengar Qordath - Yea, I realize that the whole thing is "OMG my brain is frying." But still --it would be like be describing the hound as "terrifying" and you were just supposed to be scared by them. I've read a few outtakes from Lovecraft and I was more "huh?" I was never scared at all.

Yeah, Lovecraft's tends to be more creepy than scary, which I suspect is why he doesn't go much into describing his mosters; he wants to leave the reader wondering WTF something horrible enough to destroy a person's mind would look like. I suppose he decided that his readers would come up with things far more gruesome and horrifying than anything he could write about. Where Lovecraft really shines is always managing ending his stories on a creepy note.

Anyway, the story is really good and I'm enjoying the way your characters are interacting with each other; Harry and Padma's bickering/sexual tension is always fun to read though I'm curious about what you'll do to develop things between them now that they're already together.

Khortez
06-30-2008, 07:27 PM
Liked the new chapter.

Only one small problem that I noticed, at the end, I think she is supposed to be he.

As in "'Daphne Greengrass,' he said as the doors closed."

thisperson
06-30-2008, 09:04 PM
Liked the new chapter.

Only one small problem that I noticed, at the end, I think she is supposed to be he.

As in "'Daphne Greengrass,' he said as the doors closed."

Or it could also be a question posed by Padma.

I'll lol pretty hard if the next chapter starts with Harry telling Padma that he did screw Greengrass.

<.<

[/Heavy Hinting]

:)

Nukular Winter
07-01-2008, 11:57 AM
It's been a LONG time since I thought about it, but fried pies at Mickey D's were the shit! Cherry pie, mmmmm. I think they went away in, like, 1992...

Styrofoam containers were awesome, too. :)

I'm finding myself very amused by this story: characterization, snappy dialogue, plot... I don't recall if you've written much humor before but you definitely have a knack for it.

Hope you're keeping your muse well fed so we get more soon.

Heather_Sinclair
07-01-2008, 03:53 PM
It's been a LONG time since I thought about it, but fried pies at Mickey D's were the shit! Cherry pie, mmmmm. I think they went away in, like, 1992...

Styrofoam containers were awesome, too. :)

I'm finding myself very amused by this story: characterization, snappy dialogue, plot... I don't recall if you've written much humor before but you definitely have a knack for it.

Hope you're keeping your muse well fed so we get more soon.


Muse is well fed. I'm about halfway through with Chap 6 so it should be out thursday at the latest, and since I've said that it's almost guaranteed out tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm shit with deadlines.

Last year sometime I stopped by the local McD's and they actually had the fried pies. I freaked and bought like ten. Then a week later they were gone again. >_> Bastards!!

I've never put much humor in my stories as I've said before I have a weird sense of humor. Not many people get me, or they tend to look at me weird when I crack a joke. Of course I should have guessed that the weirdos at DLP would be kindred spirits.

I did have a story "Sacrifices to be Made" that a lot of people thought was funny, but I warn you ahead of time it was my first real HP story, it's H/Hr, and it's very sugary. So read at your own risk.


@Khortez - Thanks for the catch.

@thisperson - The Greengrass subject will return at a point in the future. Lets just say that Harry got to mow the lawn, and plant some seed(s) at the Greengrass estate.
</IMG>

eXcalite
07-01-2008, 04:48 PM
subtle..very subtle:ph34r:

Jamven
07-04-2008, 12:37 AM
Ah, nice up date.

Plan B eh?
I was actually thinking about that during the encounter. Is there any plans for plan B to come to fruition? Or would that be telling :)

thapagan
07-04-2008, 02:15 AM
And Action.....
So what happens next, I mean how do you top what you got?
Do you add even more demon dogs, or maybe a pack leader, increase the amount of danger by having more bystanders (kids are useful for this)...
Well I am sure it will work out mostly fine (except for victim) and look
forward to your next chapter.
4/5

Heather_Sinclair
07-04-2008, 08:33 AM
And Action.....
So what happens next, I mean how do you top what you got?
Do you add even more demon dogs, or maybe a pack leader, increase the amount of danger by having more bystanders (kids are useful for this)...
Well I am sure it will work out mostly fine (except for victim) and look
forward to your next chapter.
4/5


This is tricky ground for me because I always try to top the previous action/intrigue scenes. I have plans to do so again, but I'm not going to go too far over the top because that would just be unrealistic. I will tell you that the Hounds portion of the plot has been expended. That won't keep me from using them in the future, but there won't be anymore "Trap/fight/cut/burn" chapters like the last.

Not that they aren't exciting, but Harry and Co. have learned how to deal with them now. So, unless they get jumped unaware then the Hounds are a non-issue. And they will probably get jumped unaware. I do like the idea of a pack leader, and I haven't had a chance to use that second mouth on the tongue that Harry was so freaked out about.

And remember this story is written Lovecraft/Dumas in mind, and those stories never turn out "well."

@Jamven - Plan B ... Hmmm, I have a special use for Plan B. So it would be telling. Sorry.

@eXcalite - I am the Queen of subtle. I could have said he worked that grassy land day after day digging his fingers into soil ... ah, well I guess I shouldn't continue that mode of thought ... virgin ears and all. (snicker)

eXcalite
07-04-2008, 02:09 PM
wow.. a pure hack 'n slay chapter. So now we know that your capable of writing action too. This is getting better and better. I am feeling well entertained.

Sesc
07-04-2008, 03:19 PM
I'd say. What about the Spear, though? Is it really destroyed?

And on a completely related/unrelated note, where do I go for that http://forums.darklordpotter.net/images/u_signature/sigpic4618_5.gif most interesting offer? I mean, Padma and a PSP? Wow.

MonCappy
07-04-2008, 04:03 PM
I am wondering the same thing. Is it possible a Hound took it back to wherever it came from? I look forward to what happens next.

Antivash
07-04-2008, 11:41 PM
<3 Love.

Nice chapter, loved the action. Written very well. I liked the way Harry reacted and how it all turned out. Personally, I hope Harry stuffed up and lost the spear.

Dont rightly remember why Harry couldn't hear and I think it might have been a bit hazy in the story, but it was ... hours ago when I read it.

Still, awesome story.

eXcalite
07-05-2008, 05:56 AM
I think the hound trashing around on him and screaming bloody murder popped his eardrums.

Heather_Sinclair
07-05-2008, 07:56 AM
<3 Love.

Nice chapter, loved the action. Written very well. I liked the way Harry reacted and how it all turned out. Personally, I hope Harry stuffed up and lost the spear.

Dont rightly remember why Harry couldn't hear and I think it might have been a bit hazy in the story, but it was ... hours ago when I read it.

Still, awesome story.

Thank you, baby. I'm ignoring the spear for now because Harry is a little too overpowered with its presence so I had to take him down a notch. Harry's eardrums popped when the Hound was on top of him screaming inches away from his face. I may need to go back and make that a little more plain. Thanks for pointing it out.


@MonCappy - Not tellin' what happened to the spear just yet.

@Sesc - Sorry, but you don't get Padma, you just get to worship her. But I can tell you that the National Temple of Padma is giving the PSP's away. You just have to find it. I think it's somewhere in India, maybe in one of their magical communities which make the PSP's operating capabilities problematic.

@eXcalite - Yes, I can sorta write action ... who woulda thunk it? I love to hear when I am actually 'entertaining' people. I don't hear that often enough. Thanks!

MonCappy
07-06-2008, 02:41 AM
The latest chapter was a winner. It does make me wonder what will happen next. This Unspeakable sounds dangerous in the extreme. I wonder if he will make an appearance in person.

Blaise
07-06-2008, 10:04 AM
Not a bad chapter; well written, though it seemed more like filler.

..."Japanese wank porn", indeed.

Bukay
07-06-2008, 01:20 PM
Padma growled in frustration. "When the Byakhee appear tonight, Harry, then you'll believe."

He leaned back. "You're actually trying to scare me with a plane traveling creature that is named after some Japanese wanking porn?"

This line is pure win. Seriously :D

LogrusMage
07-06-2008, 06:59 PM
Awesome chapter, even if it didn't have a lot of action. This fic has some of the most well written sexual tension I've ever read.

Well done.

Heather_Sinclair
07-06-2008, 08:15 PM
Awesome chapter, even if it didn't have a lot of action. This fic has some of the most well written sexual tension I've ever read.

Well done.


Well that's quite the compliment, thank you.

@Bukay - I try very hard to throw at least one really good line per chapter. I hope that fulfilled my quota!

@Blaise - Thank you. We have to have a little filler every once in a while or it's just hack and slash with very little mystery. But look forward to the next chapter. We're gonna wake up the neighborhood.

@MonCappy - Short answer ... yes that is an understatement, yes very soon.

Nuhuh
07-06-2008, 11:27 PM
Well, well, finally listened to Vash and gave this a try.

I don't know anything about the British peerage and such but I am enjoying the setup you are using for your fic. It makes it very interesting. Would like to know why the Order of Bath was set up and how all the officers of the order rank against each other. On that note Manspark is my current favorite OC.

Looking forward to finding out why the weapons only work for Harry, is it just the position or is it something about him being him? Also, on that note, I assume the royal wizard is a high position and one with a lot of responsibility. You would expect one of a lot of experience there but yet it is Padma, who until the most recent revelations wasn't set apart in canon. Hopefully you will give some background to that.

I really liked your initial description of the hounds, especially the almost human-like faces, I found that in your second last chapter during the wonderfully paced fight sequence that a line here or there about their features was missing. It would be nice to be reminded of their qualities besides the blue glue and the tongue-maw-of-fangs - Made me think of Tremors incidentally. That is a very small nit pick only because I think the hounds look so kick ass, at least in my mind, as you described them.

Overall a very, very enjoyable post DH story. Are you planning on using the element of Deathly Hallows? btw Padma knowing exactly what he was talking about in the earlier chapters was a surprise since that part of the story was not public knowledge in DH. Does she know he is the Master of Death? Also that would be a great way to even the playing field since he is going up against the Old Ones and the Elder Gods etc, if he claims the Death Stick he carries around but doesn't use.

I don't recall if I was reading your other stories, but this one has me hooked. An easy 5/5.

Edit: It is disdain* not distain. Just mentioning it because you use that word quite a bit.

Azrael's Little Helper
07-07-2008, 04:46 AM
Usually I wouldn't bother pointing out minutiae like spelling errors and such because I'm terrible at that in general, but the word "planial" just sounds...squishy... . I think the word would be planar, but maybe thats just from too much D&D.

Heather_Sinclair
07-07-2008, 11:12 AM
Well, well, finally listened to Vash and gave this a try.

I don't know anything about the British peerage and such but I am enjoying the setup you are using for your fic. It makes it very interesting. Would like to know why the Order of Bath was set up and how all the officers of the order rank against each other. On that note Manspark is my current favorite OC.

You'd like to know 'storywise' or for your own curiosity? When it comes time for Harry to participate in the instillation ceremony in a couple of chapters I'll be going into a few details of the Order. If it's just for curiosity sake ... The major order members are given seats in the House of Lords. It was all political at the time. Imagine Bush being given the right to appoint members to the Senate just by making them knights. All the votes would flow his way. Not exactly the same thing in Great B. but close enough.

Looking forward to finding out why the weapons only work for Harry, is it just the position or is it something about him being him? Also, on that note, I assume the royal wizard is a high position and one with a lot of responsibility. You would expect one of a lot of experience there but yet it is Padma, who until the most recent revelations wasn't set apart in canon. Hopefully you will give some background to that.

I'm going to go ahead and point out that Padma isn't the Royal Wizard. Interesting little twist there, huh? So what the heck is she doing there in the first place? And as to why the weapons will work better with Harry ... well that's a secret, but I won't let it fall into plot hole oblivion.

I really liked your initial description of the hounds, especially the almost human-like faces, I found that in your second last chapter during the wonderfully paced fight sequence that a line here or there about their features was missing. It would be nice to be reminded of their qualities besides the blue glue and the tongue-maw-of-fangs - Made me think of Tremors incidentally. That is a very small nit pick only because I think the hounds look so kick ass, at least in my mind, as you described them.

Excellent suggestion, thank you! When I was writing this I was thinking more of Alien, but you are right that tremors would be closer to what I was imagining.

Overall a very, very enjoyable post DH story. Are you planning on using the element of Deathly Hallows? btw Padma knowing exactly what he was talking about in the earlier chapters was a surprise since that part of the story was not public knowledge in DH. Does she know he is the Master of Death? Also that would be a great way to even the playing field since he is going up against the Old Ones and the Elder Gods etc, if he claims the Death Stick he carries around but doesn't use.

I don't recall if I was reading your other stories, but this one has me hooked. An easy 5/5.

Edit: It is disdain* not distain. Just mentioning it because you use that word quite a bit.

Not tellin about the Deathly Hallows. You'll have to wait on that one. I will say that you are the first to ask the question about Padma's unlikely knowledge of certain events. I suppose that may be because of you reading the current story thus far. Or maybe you just ask yourself questions better than most. But again I have to bow to future plot points and not say anything just yet.

Thank you very much for the detailed review and your suggestions!

Antivash
07-11-2008, 11:38 PM
Okay! I Finally got around to reading this chapter!

To be honest, I dun think it was as clawsome as the last chapter, but it was still good. A lot of nice one liners in it, but frankly, it felt more filler than actual story after the last clash of the giant balls of steel, and all the clink-y, wholesome, family nutrition.

Hope to see the next chapter here soon. But not too soon. I got mah computer fixed today! ^_^

*Wanders off to start the next Winter's Night chapter.*

Heather_Sinclair
07-12-2008, 07:18 PM
Okay! I Finally got around to reading this chapter!

To be honest, I dun think it was as clawsome as the last chapter, but it was still good. A lot of nice one liners in it, but frankly, it felt more filler than actual story after the last clash of the giant balls of steel, and all the clink-y, wholesome, family nutrition.

Hope to see the next chapter here soon. But not too soon. I got mah computer fixed today! ^_^

*Wanders off to start the next Winter's Night chapter.*


Well sweetie-cakes, in stories like these, given the chapter length, there are going to be fillers so that the story can progress beyond "Harry duck!" "Fuck!" "Sectumsempra!" "Warm Oil" "MOVE!" "Bukakke!"

>_> damn I just got an idea for a nasty new magic.

Introducing:
The Bukakke Hex:

Incantation: BUKAKKE! (must be yelled, no sub-vocals, no silent castin')

Wand Movement: Hold wand in hand and use opposing hand to stroke the shaft of the wand with rapid movement.

Range: 3 feet (depending on the wizard... witches cannot perform this hex)

Effects: Shoots several jets of milky man juice at the opponents face. Bonus points if he hits opponents in the eye.

Counter: The Prostate Crushing Jinx.



Anyway ... Yes, it was filler, but it also holds important clues as to the outcome of the story so I don't get a bunch of people coming (no pun intended) at me in the end screaming "PLOTHOLE PLOTHOLE!" This way I can point my finger and say "READ THE STORY BITCH!"

There will be much Clink-y action in the next chapter and you get to see Padma in a new outfit too! Well, not actually SEE but I'll describe it well enough for the fapfapfap crowd out there. I'm just trying to figure out if I want to have her running around in heels or not.

And I am very happy you got your computer fixed! More Winter's Night goodness in the works.

I've read the rest of the Dresden Books (3.5 in as many days) so I'm loaded with sarcasm juice and ready to rock. I think I'm going for a HP/Dresden cross for my next fic. Thinking.


Ninja Edit: Damn you for your "Press Button"! I was sucked (no pun intended) into it's pressing baddness. DANGER!!

Sesc
07-12-2008, 07:52 PM
There will be much Clink-y action in the next chapter and you get to see Padma in a new outfit too! Well, not actually SEE but I'll describe it well enough for the fapfapfap crowd out there. I'm just trying to figure out if I want to have her running around in heels or not.

Of course you will (but she'll never stumble). And somewhere along the line, the nasty monster will tear her top/blouse/whatever, and naturally, whatever's left will later somehow get soaked, and finally, she'll have to discard it completely. You know how it is.

But srsly. Can't wait. For the new outfit.

(And I'm not fapping. Really, I'm not. ...you haven't done that outtake yet)

And srsly #2. If the rest of the story wasn't as great as it is, I wouldn't be reading it even if you had Padma running around in high-heels only.


... well, so maybe I would. But I wouldn't enjoy it as much :)

MonCappy
07-12-2008, 09:17 PM
Padma in high heels and a smile would make for a fine outfit.

I am also eagerly looking forward to the next chapter. I wonder how well their countermeasures against the byakke will fare. My guess is that their efforts will not be as successful as they would like.

Darkmakr
07-13-2008, 06:38 AM
It's always nice to see stories that take the characters that Rowling created, play around with them a bit and create a separate story within a universe. Plus win for creating Harry's loyalty to Ron and Hermione without having them in the story at all. Amused at the stories that Ginny may of said or whatever, nice way of ignoring epilogue of DH without ignoring the rest of the book.

I'm enjoying the tale, and hope to continue reading.

The Deadman
07-19-2008, 11:04 AM
Aside from a few spelling mistakes, this has got to be one of the best stories I've ever read. 5/5 all of the way.

Epic Dark Lord
08-12-2008, 09:04 AM
Updated ... like a week and a half ago...

Fucking Cliffhangers
Really good chapter and ouch on bruised balls but probably the best way to get them.

Innomine
09-03-2008, 11:28 PM
As I put in my PC review, it has taken me a long time to finally go ahead and read this, I was under the impression that it was some sort of twisted dark fic, which it apparently seems not to be.

I honestly don't know why it is actually in the Dark Arts section.

Either way, excellent fic, definitely going for a 5/5 for this one, and im now off to read the ULFD.

KrzaQ
09-08-2008, 10:50 AM
I couldn't get through first chapter. "Accept unknown, understand later" made me stop. It might be well in Harry's character to charge into unknown, like gryffindors would do, but I hate idiot!harry stories on the principal.
Won't rate, it might get better later, but on the other hand, thanks to crappy first chapter, I'll never know.

Perspicacity
09-08-2008, 10:59 AM
I couldn't get through first chapter. "Accept unknown, understand later" made me stop. It might be well in Harry's character to charge into unknown, like gryffindors would do, but I hate idiot!harry stories on the principal.
Won't rate, it might get better later, but on the other hand, thanks to crappy first chapter, I'll never know.

Pity you're so quick with the trigger. Heather's is an outstanding story, probably the best HP/Lovecraft crossover out there (and one of the best post-Hogwarts stories I've read). 5/5

Blaise
09-08-2008, 12:04 PM
I couldn't get through first chapter. "Accept unknown, understand later" made me stop. It might be well in Harry's character to charge into unknown, like gryffindors would do, but I hate idiot!harry stories on the principal.
Won't rate, it might get better later, but on the other hand, thanks to crappy first chapter, I'll never know. Dude: keep reading. You're seriously depriving yourself.

TheDefiantOne
12-04-2008, 04:55 PM
I am really enjoying this story. Its funny, but also very good on detail. I also really enjoy sarcastic Harry. Not so big on the references to some of the tales and other sorts of magic, but pretty interesting stuff.

Overall, probably a 4.5/5. Wait to see at end till final call

Innomine
12-29-2008, 07:10 PM
UPDATE!

BE RIGHT BACK!

Will edit comments in later. I've been waiting for this for ages, haven't seen Heather around in a while, and was thinking the worst.

AntiChrist
12-29-2008, 10:30 PM
Awesome. I've been waiting for an update for this for what seems like the longest time. I had to go back and read some of the earlier chapters to refresh my memory, but that's not a bad thing.

Hmmm. The ending of the story was pretty abrupt, all in all. I liked the fight scene well enough though it didn't scream Epicness. Also, I felt some of your sentences, particulary in the beginning were pretty choppy. No major complaints though. Very nice job. 4/5 overall

Ancalion
12-30-2008, 06:15 PM
The ending felt really rushed, even though it's setting up for a possible sequel. It hardly felt like a chapter ending to me, let alone a story ending, for the first one. The alternate ending fixed that up though. Also, I thought the fight was a bit lackluster...It seems as if a fight against something played up that much would much more difficult than how it was written.

Still, a good chapter and a pretty solid story. 4/5

Andro
12-30-2008, 06:36 PM
Rofl, caps lock like mad in the last chapter.

I haven't read any Lovecraft, but I always expected such a battle to be more immersive and to place a heavier emphasis on the sentiment of fleeting sanity.

Panicked screams surrounded the area as insane, vile, evil blanketed the hill.

and mentions of the characters clutching their sanity just doesn't do it for me.

The Harry/Padma interaction was probably the best aspect, it is something not often achieved in fanfiction.

4/5 for a story strictly the sum of its parts.

darklordmike
05-06-2009, 06:09 PM
Just got around to reading this; I had avoided it because it was in the 'Dark Arts' section, and now I have no idea why it's in here. The overall tone is so humorous that it bears no resemblance to the other stories in this category.

The fic itself is all kinds of awesome. Sarcastic!perv!Harry is fun, and I'd like to see more of his adventures. This could easily be turned into a series: perv!Harry and his faithful minx Padma battle new kinds of evil in a sequence of 40k word fics.

For some reason when I was reading this it kept reminding me of Ghostbusters. Harry had Bill Murray's dry sense of humor, and his flirting with Padma would have been in character for Murray too. And Chthulu or whatever its name was reminded me of an uglier Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. But maybe I'm just crazy.

Anyway, I loved this fic and want to see MOAR. Don't let the Dark Arts label scare you away if that's not your usual cuppa.

5/5

Innomine
05-06-2009, 07:58 PM
DLM, I had exactly the same issue before I read all of Heather's work.

I always had this idea, that it was dark and gorey, whereas its really not. I completely disagree of where its been put. Dark Arts really don't fit it at all. AU would be a far better placement imo.

Perspicacity
05-06-2009, 08:04 PM
DLM, I had exactly the same issue before I read all of Heather's work.

I always had this idea, that it was dark and gorey, whereas its really not. I completely disagree of where its been put. Dark Arts really don't fit it at all. AU would be a far better placement imo.

I think the mild Cthulu crossover is what made it Dark Arts. Irrespective of where it's placed, it's still a superb read.

jpdt19
06-04-2009, 04:33 PM
Well it's sort of Dark Arts, but yep i can see your point.

Regardless of where it should be it certainly is an amazing and very fun read.

I also really wish you would write the sequel she hinted at in the final chapter on ff.net

Cruentus
06-05-2009, 11:39 PM
Unfortunately Heather has been swallowed by the Abyss so I really don't know if we will ever hear from her again.

jpdt19
06-06-2009, 03:15 PM
Bugger! Just when she had started that ever so 'interesting' story about Harry & Cho

:D :D :D

John Hopkins
09-23-2009, 09:42 PM
One of the best Fic's i've ever read. While i could say a few things about the ending, which i thought was..I don't know, I don't like endings that leave you hanging. The Alt ending I just did not understand. (Feel free to enlighten me)

Anyways, great Fic, if you read anything today, read this. Fantastic.

5/5

Manatheron
10-13-2009, 03:14 AM
Be nice to see the continuation, but the stand alone is quite good. I'd like to know why it's under 'Dark arts' though.

4/5

The Wizard
10-13-2009, 07:16 AM
o.o

I thought I'd reviewed this... Anyway, this is like the Indiana Jones of HP fanfiction. 4/5

Innomine
10-13-2009, 09:10 AM
Manatheron, I am pretty sure that many people, myself included have questioned this fics placement within the Dark Arts section, yet no reply, nor indication of movement, so yeah. Here it stays, I guess.

Manatheron
10-13-2009, 09:53 PM
-Nods to Ellisande-

No doubt, no doubt. Just adding my voice to the din I guess.

Xantam
10-14-2009, 10:20 PM
Excellent story, I assume wishes for the sequel would be in vain, but a man can hope.

5/5

By the way, the WIP tag should be removed from the thread.

Cruentus
10-15-2009, 08:15 PM
I think Sinclair said there would be a squeal, but only after she finished up The Taste of Blood is Sweet, and whatever else she wanted to do before then.

Portus
10-16-2009, 11:30 AM
I think Sinclair said there would be a squeal, but only after she finished up The Taste of Blood is Sweet, and whatever else she wanted to do before then.

While we're always interested in her sex life (she likes girls and boys, after all), what does that have to do with the story?

Cruentus
10-16-2009, 09:12 PM
Absolutely nothing, just didn't catch it sorry.