Oh, good thinking, Poytin.

In the palace, a Super Rod will bring me... a Seaking, Gyarados, or a Crawdaunt. Those are awesome Pokemon. For the city coast, I can get a Seadra, a Relicanth, or a Dragalge. I'm going to be swimming in water Pokemon by the time this is over. D:

 

I will have that name! Even if I have to beat every competitor to death with a magikarp!

 

A Trial by Magikarp, eh? Well put up your fish, you useless pile of planktonic algae!

*Grabs a Magikarp by its fish tail and gets ready to fight*

 

Well at least if you get Dragalge it's not a Water type.

 

As for my run, it's turning awful in a hurry.

After catching and catching up Hippopotas, I ran through Glittering Cave. Figured I'd try to get down to the second level and Rock Smash to a Dwebble, but that didn't pan out. Accidentally ran into a shadowed spot and got Feinne the Onix. Gah, Onix is terrible. Boxed.

Team Flare part was a breeze. Norton ground the lot of them down, and the two grunts in the double battle picked on Serena the entire time. Took the Jaw Fossil, but I'm not going to even bother resurrecting it since it's banned.

And then things start getting bad. I decide to go back to the Battle Chateau (at this point I've become an Earl) because the experience is good and I want a higher level cushion before risking Cyllage Gym. Now, these trainer Pokemon are at about the same level as mine and I should know better than to push my luck, but...

A bad encounter with a Doublade kills Norton the Hippopotas. Norton is already weakened from battling her other Pokemon (a Torkoal). The math tells me I can use Dig and avoid the counter underground, and then crush the Doublade next turn.

I didn't account for Shadow Sneak, and its ability to hit underground. AI predicted what I would do and owned me. So, Norton is dead and I now have no Ground type. That little punch in the nose convinces me to abandon Battle Chateau for the time being.

So, I go ahead and decide to run Cyllage Gym with what I have. Anak the Roselia crushes the gym trainers with Giga Drain. I think I'm alright here, and have planned all along to use Pancham to sweep Grant.

That...does not go as planned. First, I honestly expected that Genma would outspeed Grant's Amaura with a level advantage. He doesn't, and Take Down takes a huge bite out of my Pancham. Circle Throw oneshots Amaura.

And then comes Tyrunt. Genma can't survive an attack, so I switch to Anak. Thankfully Grant tries Stomp rather than Rock Tomb, or this might have gone a lot worse. That takes a bit dent out of Anak, but Giga Drain brings Tyrunt to critical and recovers all of it. Rock Tomb negates that healing and (worse) lowers Anak's speed. I try to Giga Drain again, expecting Grant to Hyper Potion. He doesn't. Bite almost kills Anak and (MUCH worse) flinches her. So, I'm now outspeeded and at critical HP. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Absolutely unwilling to sacrifice my Roselia, I switch to Androssi the Pidgeotto. Stomp hits her hard on the switch but doesn't kill her. I tried to use Return, hoping beyond hope that it would do enough to finish off the weakened Tyrunt. It doesn't Rock Tomb for the obvious kill. Except not, because Androssi's Pokemon-amie Endure activates and spares her. I feel so damn bad for what I do here. Soda Pop on Anak, Grant Hyper Potions. Another Soda Pop to bring Anak back to full, and Bite kills Androssi. Rest in peace, poor bird.

Anak comes back out, and finally takes down Tyrunt with a Magical Leaf and Giga Drain combo.

Fucking eh, that was a skin of the teeth survival. If I had lost Anak there, that would have been a dead run. Cliff Badge and Rock Tomb TM acquired.

I heal up, bury my Pidgeotto in the morgue box and head up to Route 10. Into the regular grass. The common encounters here are Golett and Sigilyph and either would be an awesome replacement for one of my two dead team members.

So of course the game says fuck the odds and gives me Precious the Snubbull.

Not using that shit, so it's now Gyarados Time. Back to Parfum Palace (pulling out Dante the Zangoose to Strength Slave through Connecting Cave) to catch a Magikarp. Was planning to wait and do this later, but I don't see any way past that Korrina battle looming at Geosenge Town with the things I have right now. Leviathan the Magikarp added. And time to level him. Gah.

Team

Cleopatra (Litleo) - 26
Genma (Pancham) - 26
Anak (Roselia) - 28
Leviathan (Magikarp) - 18
Dante (Zangoose) - HM Slave

Box

Goober (Weedle)
Bridget (Skitty)
Alraune (Gloom)
Pascal (Whismur)
Feinne (Onix)
Precious (Snubbull)

Dead

Norton the Hippopotas - Fuck the rich
Androssi the Pidgeotto - Lived up to your namesake and saved me from a whiteout

Aborted

Tiger (Chespin)
Leonardo (Squirtle)
Queen Brahne (Snorlax)

XXXXXXXXXX

And some more news, just for Vira's sake. Shiny Alert! Got Leviathan to evolve into Gyarados via switching and started training him on Route 8. Horde of Wingull appear, Shiny on the far left! Overarching rule of all my Nuzlockes is that any and all Shinies encountered can and must be caught, regardless. So, Wilbur the Shiny Wingull added. Dante the Zangoose will be released, and Wilbur will 'replace' the previous Route 8 capture.

 

Sorry LT, I took all your dark types. No Pangoro for you.

Well, after I start back up and slaughter my through to the next town, I meet the professor who apparently really loves cafes or something. Whatever, I move on to attempt to get a new mon in the caves, come on Piloswine. Nope, oh well, Mama Bear the Beartic it is. Another mon, another member of the box crew. After that I look at my mons and realize I STILL don't have an electric type and decide to go use those two routes I ignored in favor of repelling to the grass gym. So I make my way to the flowers near the ranch and use a Honey, I get....Wingull, oh wel no mega Amphy for me. Spare Flying mon I guess. I catch one and call it Zeit. Onto the next area, Azura Bay, where I shall fish for a Chinchou. I get a Remoraid instead. Damn it. Water Gun the Remoraid joins the Box Crew. On to the Lost Hotel for my last shot at a Electric Type this run. I get... Klefki, that'll do I guess. Still feels wrong not to have to a single elec type in a run. Decided to name it Jingle and then sat around for a bit trying to decide between it and Carbink. It ultimately comes down to Carbink just having twice its defenses while not having THAT much worse attacking stats and typing. So it joins the “in case of death” group.

With all that fun stuff over, it's time to beat the shit out of some people in the Lost Hotel. After beating up everyone in there, I head south to route 16 and pick up a Phantump. Casper joins the group as a potential Nyancat replacement. Days later I find a route with rain and make my Sliggoo into a Goodra. Sadly it was 51, so no Aqua Tail for me. While gathering Heart Scales so that I may teach Goodra Aqua Tail and Outrage, I burn the Rock Gym's pokemon on... Tentacool, damn it. Worst the Tentacruel is added to the Box Crew. After all that I decide to finally find out why the Mamoswine is throwing a fit over the cave. Turns out Team Flare is agitating an Abomasnow because they want to catch it. After beating up a grunt, I fight the first one with a name, that I notice at least. Marble and her Houndoom are showed as the shitty things they are. The Abomasnow gave me an Abomasite after I talked to it once Dex Boy left.

With that bit of caving diving done, Mamoswine was ready to take me to the next town. Along the way I caught Middy the Sneasel. Giving me my 5th dark type. Seriously wish I had caught a Pancham. TO THE BOX WITH YOU MIDDY. After getting through the snow, Serena decides that she wants another spanking and challenges me to a battle and then as I step into Anistar City, one of the prof's assistants tells me somebody knows about legendary pokemon in this city. As for the Rival Battle itself, Nyancat kills her counterpart by chucking Shadow Balls at her. Shihoon drop kicks himself into the grave making me lose one of my pokemon. I SHOULD care more, but oh well. NOT LIKE I DON'T HAVE 4 OTHER FUCKING DARK TYPES IN THE BOX. Probably will use Murkrow for dat fly. Now to prove that the only way for her to win would for me to have High Jump Kick on all my mons... she has a Flareon, the worst. I COULD drown in using Surf, but it shall die to Goodra's Aqua Tail instead. Given that her last mon is another dark type, it dies like her Frog, to Moonblast from a Wall. And given that was a death of one of my mons, that's the end of this for now.

Pokemon:
Party:
Churchey the Blastoise – Level 53 (Mega)
Slime the Goodra – Level 51
Nyancat the Meowstic – Level 53
Lexi the Pyroar – Level 52
Raven the Murkrow – Level 18 (Super Luck)
Wall-Ene the Carbink – Level 52

Box:
Mozilla the Fennekin – Level 15
Oz the Snorlax – Level 15
Raine the Whimsur – Level 14
Poytin the Inkay – Level 15
Sandy the Sandile – Level 16
Irene the Butterfree – Level 40
Muscles the Machop – Level 17
THOU SHALL NOT RENAME the Amaura – Level 20
Honda the Hariyama – Level 23
El Toro the Hawlucha – Level 24
Mama Bear the Beartic – Level 39
Zeit the Wingull – Level 13
Water Gun the Remoraid – Level 25
Jingle the Klefki – Level 36.
Casper the Phantump – Level 36
Worst the Tentacool – Level 26
Middy the Sneasel – Level 38

Graveyard:
Ashaya the Beedrill – Level 15 – You kind of sucked anyways.
Guiche the Roselia – Level 17 – Fucking Jackass makes me wait till day so I can evolve him and then dies anyways.
Litter Bug the Mothim – Level 29 – And you were just getting started too.
Shioon the Scrafty – Level 52 4th Missed Drop Kick was the charm?

 

You might have tried, son, but there ain't no stoppin' this rape train.


So...yeah, I got a Shiny Wingull. But I have a Gyarados and Pelipper is turrible. I might be persuaded to give him away if someone wants him.

Once Leviathan is trained up all proper, it's through Route 10 and into Geosenge Town beating up Flarefags and Japanese tourists all the way. This is the white man's land, don't mess. Korrina battle at the eastern exit is a breeze due to Gyarados being a boss and Bulldozing things like a boss. Genma the Pancham goes to the box, since I have no Dark type and he's getting close to his evolve point.

Time to break out some more Honey on Route 11. Hordes here are Nidos (replacement Ground type for the dead Hippopotas), Stunky (Dark type to evolve Genma) and Starly (replacement bird). I know what I want most, and the game obliges this time. No need for Androssi when her bigger, stronger and meaner sister arrives. Yuri the Starly caught.

Now is serious grind time. Things are getting stronger, and I'm not inclined to sport with risks. Yuri gets leveled through Staravia to Staraptor and Leviathan goes up to 35 to learn Aqua Tail before I even enter Reflection Cave. Anak the Roselia gets her share too, being my only Special Attacker and thus an automatic switch in whenever I (often) encounter wild Sawk on Route 11. I remember well getting that Nuzlocke Squared run owned by Counter and will not have it happen again. Cleopatra the Litleo gets held back for now, since she's too fragile to do much in a fight and I won't be needing her until after I get the Lucky Egg.

Once all that's done, through Reflection Cave. Sweettooth the Mr. Mime caught inside, and then it's Repel all the way in order to avoid any chance encountering Shadow Tag Wobbuffet. My powerleveled trio (Roselia, Gyarados, Staraptor) annihilates every trainer dumb enough to mess, and soon I'm in Shalour City.

Leviathan the Gyarados beats the tar out of Serena at the Tower of Mastery. Aqua Tail ain't nothing to mess with. Yuri the Staraptor does worse to Shalour Gym and Korrina. Chrom the Lucario taken and put in the abortion box. For my real capture in Shalour, I grab Bandiger the Luvdisc via fishing because I need something legal that can use Surf.

Seabiscuit the Lapras joins Lucario in the never use box on Route 12, and I prepare to use my last Honey hoping to get a Mareep (good odds, since I run No Repeats and can thus ignore Wingull hordes due to the earlier Shiny). Buuut, trolled. Very. First. Step. Into the tall grass is a wild Pokemon encounter, so that I never even have the chance to use the Honey. Big Tex the Tauros reluctantly caught, effectively nixing any chance of me getting to use Mega Evolution for a long time. Not like I need it, but I wanted something that could use it for the sake of prestige.

Trainers and wild bovine along Route 12 get Anak to the point where she learns Petal Dance, allowing me to use the conveniently located Shiny Stone to move her on to Roserade. Azure Bay at last (owned, ChaosGuy) coughs up my Dark type in the form of Pineapple the Inkay. Wanted to name her Sadatsuka after the Shokugeki no Souma character who cooked the gross ink dish, but that name must be some offensive Japanese term because it's on the banned list. Bleh.

More importantly, Lucky Egg acquired in Coumarine City. Genma comes out of the box and evolves to Pangoro via grinding on Route 12 with Pineapple in the active roster. Back to Route 11 to do the same for Cleopatra, who evolves to Pyroar and at last does not suck. My big trench coat bear celebrates his level in badass by raping Serena outside Coumarine Gym. My new Pyroar roasts the entirety of the inside, learns Flamethrower, and then gets the backseat as I opt to use Staraptor to crush Ramos. Fly times three, whee.

So now that's four badges.

Into Route 13 where I can at last fill the Ground void on my team. Gible would be lovely. But instead it's Pit Crew the Dugtrio which I didn't quite want because Dugtrio is frail as can be and doesn't have the attacking stats to avoid getting hit by things. But as long as he lives long enough to get me past Clemont, I'm not too concerned. Will have to level him with extreme care to make sure that happens.

Team

Cleopatra (Pyroar) - 38
Genma (Pangoro) - 38
Anak (Roserade) - 38
Leviathan (Gyarados) - 38
Yuri (Staraptor) - 40
Pit Crew (Dugtrio) - 26

Box

Goober (Weedle)
Bridget (Skitty)
Alraune (Gloom)
Pascal (Whismur)
Feinne (Onix)
Precious (Snubbull)
Sweettooth (Mr. Mime)
Bandiger (Luvdisc)
Big Tex (Tauros)
Pineapple (Inkay)

Dead

Norton the Hippopotas - Fuck the rich
Androssi the Pidgeotto - Lived up to your namesake and saved me from a whiteout

Aborted

Tiger (Chespin)
Leonardo (Squirtle)
Queen Brahne (Snorlax)
Chrom (Lucario)
Seabiscuit (Lapras)

 

Poytin is a savior and told me where I could get more legal Pokemon. To the palace! I like how I can’t roller-blade when I’m in the garden. I search for like five minutes before I realize the fishing spot in under the bridge. Lol I’m dumb. I hope for a Gyarados, so I get a Seaking! I catch him and name him Poytin, in honor of his information. Now, to the coast. I was actually here before when looking for Heart Scales, but I forgot I could catch a Pokemon here. Here, I get a Dragalge. Another goddamn dragon. He’s easily caught and I name him Probellum.

Both boxed unless a tragedy happens.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG.

Victory Road. It has shit Pokemon, I can tell you right now. The only vaguely interesting one is Skarmory, but it won’t be useful against the Elite Four. There’s nothing else to do but to leave it to chance. I walk back and forth before the entrance and behold, a Haunter. Great, something that will die in one hit. I catch him, and since Matt asked first, Matt he shall be.

Victory Road is dumb, trainers everywhere, help. Some guy’s Scizor got Anya the Flygon down to red, but I switched to Zeit the Durant to take the hit and then went into Kai the Lanturn while I healed. Both died, much sadness. Calem may have challenged me, but I stomped him so hard I don’t remember the battle.

I make it to the Pokemon League, but there’s still things I need to do. First, I go west from Victory Road’s entrance to pick up the Earthquake TM. I’ve given up on Anya learning it naturally. Next, to Terminus Cave where half-an-hour of game time gives me the Shadow Ball TM. Excellent.

It’s time to train.

*one flash forward later*

Too lazy to train anymore, so I’m done. Thanks to all the corpses of the Gurrdur I killed in the making of this team. Also, fuck all Haunter and your damn Destiny Bonds. It got to the point that as soon as I saw them, I’d run away.

I present to you, my Elite Four team:

Anya the Flygon at level 71, Levitate ability. The survivor of my original team. She acts as my transport with the Fly HM, and is an offensive attacker with the moves Earthquake, Dragon Claw, and Rock Slide. She’s bulky besides, and holding Soft Sand makes her Earthquake more boss. She’ll be taking on Malva, Wikstrom, and Drasna.

Titus the Altaria at level 66, Natural Cure ability. Surprisingly useful. She can take hits very well. Her attack and special attack stats are the same, but I’ve given her special attacks to act as Anya’s counterpart. She has Dragon Pulse, Fly (for a flying move), Cotton Guard, and Flamethrower, and holds the Flame Plate. She’ll be taking on Wikstrom and Drasna.

Shezza the Poliwrath at level 53, Water Absorb ability. A new addition to my team, who’s been given Rocky Helmet to mock any physical attackers. Her moves are Bulk Up, Waterfall, Body Slam, and Payback. I decided not to give her a fighting move because there’s few Pokemon to use it on here. She’ll be fighting Malva and Siebold.

Lyruim the Treveant at level 55, Natural Cure ability. She was weak at first but time has made her strong. She’s equipped with the Spell Tag and her moves are Horn Leech, Will-O-Wisp, Feint Attack, and Phantom Force. She’s perfect for fighting Siebold, and a backup for Wikstrom.

Saot the Stunfisk at level 45, Limber ability. She’s filler, probably going to die, but I thought an electric-type would be useful. She has a Magnet, and carries the moves Thunderbolt, Earthquake, Surf, and Bounce. She’ll be taking on Siebold, and maybe Wikstrom.

Matt the Haunter at level 63, Levitate ability. He came to me at a high level, so all I had to do was give him the best attacks. He has an Eviolite, not that it’s going to do much, and the moves Shadow Ball, Dark Pulse, Sludge Bomb, and Thunderbolt. He’s going to be an all-purpose revenge killer.

Let’s do this.

Box
Ash the Azurill (level 4).
Irene the Flabebe (level 7).
Stojil the Machop (level 17).
Proph the Tentacool (level 25).
Churchy the Pumpkaboo (level 50).
Lungs the Foongus (level 25).
Proph the Tentacool (level 28 ).
Poytin the Seaking (level 32).
Probellum the Dragalge (level 34).

Rest in Peace
Lexi the Butterfree (level 11). You weren’t very good anyways.
Zev the Bulbasaur (level 10). Illegal Pokemon are not allowed!
Lucky the Wingull (level 17). Maybe sending you out against a rock-type wasn’t a good idea.
Font the Litleo (level 25). Why are you normal-fire? That’s such a dumb typing.
Blab the Hariyama (level 24). Welp.
Lutris the Siglyph (level 29). I’m so fucking sorry.
Palin the Shedninja (level 23). I tried, you were kinda cool.
Drome the Ninjask (level 38 ). I was dumb and I deserve your anguish.
Tinn the Furfrou (level 43). You were the greatest. Good dog, best friend.
Unreadable Characters the Carbrink (level 54). You will be remembered.
Jon the Murkrow (level 34). Whoops.
Yveltal (level 50). I dunno, guys.
Vir the Mamoswine (level 50). This is why we can’t have nice things.
Monkey the Abomoasnow (level 41). I can’t remember how he died and that tells you how much I cared.
Kalas the Heliolisk (level 56). You were pretty interesting, I might use your species again one day.
Kang the Ludicolo (level 50). I didn’t mean for you to die, it just happened.
Chaos the Sandslash (level 52). You were just filler anyways.
Sesc the Karrablast (level 51). If only I wasn’t lazy.
Zeit the Durant (level 33). Whatever.
Kai the Lanturn (level 31). Slightly saddening.

 

Alright bitches, Lamora update plus all of your awesome Nuzlockes have inspired me.

First attempt, Lungs the Froakie picked on ChaosGuy's recommendation. All 3 of my first routes were fucking Bug types, and I don't use Bugs. Evar. Lungs solos the first Gym like a boss, and I smash through the Routes to get to the gay(French) Pokemon Professor for a cheap gift mon.

He Ko's Lungs with a Bulbasaur and my Nuzlocke ends in tears. ;_;

SECOND ATTEMPT. Chaos the Fennekin chosen as my starter. (Know you love Fennekin, ChaosGuy) After ignoring my lackeys and harem candidates, I catch Syedette the Pidgey. This run is already looking better.

Mexican harem candidate whose name I cbf'd to remember follows me through Santalune Forest for some reason. She probably wants the D. Anyways, my name has never been so literal, first encounter is a…. PIKACHU. HELL YEAH, SUCK IT. Bitter memories of Viridian Forest surface, however I easily catch Vira the Pikachu. This run… I am the Luckiest Lee.

Filler,Filler, Filler. Breeze through the first Gym, Tornadoes, Flames, and THUNDER obliterate it with ease. EASE. I don't catch anything, probably because it was either a bug or shitty dark type. Route 6 yields Azurill, catch it and name it Anya. It'll be filler tbh, but I might use it. Fairies slaying dragons still make 0 sense to me, but whatevs.

Blahblahblah, get to the stupid City and avenge myself against the French(Gay) Professor. I take Bulbasaur for the sense of Irony, (Never forget, Lungs ;_ and sleep seed swag. For now, I'm taking a break.

 

Well, since I know that Murkrow doesn't learn anything interesting, I spammed Secret Super Training 6 to get a Dusk Stone and turned Raven into a Honchkrow. Since I think waiting until 55 for Night Slash is lame, I used the Move Relearner to get it 37 levels early. Since it needs some levels pretty bad, it's time to beat up the Chateau for tons of levels and cash. I miss getting the Audino trainers here. While grinding levels, I manage to become an Earl. I got tired of this bit of grinding when Raven was 38 so I decided to go ahead and crush the Psychic Gym. After beating Olympia, I got my 7th badge. Now onto a new route with a new mon. But not, because Lysandre went off the deep end and decided to destroy everyone except those in Team Flare. Well, I SHOULD stop him, but eh, MORE TRAINING FOR HONCHKROW! After beating up on some more trainers, I hit Marquis, which means Audino trainers!

However now is not the time for that, instead I shall save the world from being nuked by Team Flare. Just inside, Lysandre challenged me to a battle, HE HAS 4 POKEMANZ OH NOES. During the battle, I was reminded that I forgot to take out Shadowball or Signal Beam for Tbolt. Eh, Slime one the Outrage battle with the Gyarados. And then Raven died to a stray Thunderbolt ffrom one of the admins, oh well. Who shall be next... maybe Phantump? Eh, if I can get a DLPer to trade for Treant, probably will use it, just because my other options are Lucario, meh one mega per group, Tentacool for poison attacks, but I don't really like the tentacool line, and Wingull, for fly, but I want to save Wingull in case Blastoise dies, I can use it as an HM slave. Whatever, since that was a death, I'll figure it out later.

Pokemon:
Party:
Churchey the Blastoise – Level 58 (Mega)
Slime the Goodra – Level 57
Nyancat the Meowstic – Level 58
Lexi the Pyroar – Level 57
Wall-Ene the Carbink – Level 56

Box:
Mozilla the Fennekin – Level 15
Oz the Snorlax – Level 15
Raine the Whimsur – Level 14
Poytin the Inkay – Level 15
Sandy the Sandile – Level 16
Irene the Butterfree – Level 40
Muscles the Machop – Level 17
THOU SHALL NOT RENAME the Amaura – Level 20
Honda the Hariyama – Level 23
El Toro the Hawlucha – Level 24
Mama Bear the Beartic – Level 39
Zeit the Wingull – Level 13
Water Gun the Remoraid – Level 25
Jingle the Klefki – Level 36.
Casper the Phantump – Level 36
Worst the Tentacool – Level 26
Middy the Sneasel – Level 38

Graveyard:
Ashaya the Beedrill – Level 15 – You kind of sucked anyways.
Guiche the Roselia – Level 17 – Fucking Jackass makes me wait till day so I can evolve him and then dies anyways.
Litter Bug the Mothim – Level 29 – And you were just getting started too.
Shioon the Scrafty – Level 52 - 4th Missed Drop Kick was the charm?
Raven the Honchkrow – Level 48 (Super Luck) - Thunderbolt'd

 

Before we begin, let me rant a bit. You know those stained glass circle in the Elite Four rooms? They drive me nuts. They’re all the same colors. Blue, purple, and a teal color. Even Wikstrom, wtf man, I understand boring water guy and kind dragon lady having those colors, but choose something else. Maybe some silver, yellow, and blue? That would be nice. Malva gets a pass on this because her colors are red, orange, yellow, and green. Perfect.

Moving on…

I start with Wikstrom since he’ll be the easiest to beat. His room’s dramatic introduction is kinda boring, not to mention I don’t find his character or design interesting. I lead with Anya the Flygon, he starts with a Kelfiki. I was iffy about starting my dragon-type off with a fairy, but I’m ten levels higher, and one Earthquake KOs the Kelfiki. Next is a Probopass. No point in switching out. I use Earthquake, but Strudy activates like the bitch it is. Probopass uses Flash Cannon, not even getting me to yellow. Wikstrom Hyper Potions, I Earthquake, repeat three times. When Wikstrom finally uses his last Full Restore, I finish off the Probopass. That was annoying.

Next is Aegislash. It’s in shield-form, so it just survives an Earthquake. Aegislash switches to blade-form and uses Iron Head. I survive it with forty HP and finish it off with a Dragon Claw. One more Pokemon, a Scizor. I switch to Titus the Altaria and use one Flamethrower. I win.

I heal all my Pokemon (read: Anya), and move on to Malva. Her room show is awesome, enough said. I love Malva. An Elite Four member being in cahoots with the evil team? Yes, please! Malva doesn’t seem to care at all, just lounging on her throne like the queen she is. I lead with Anya, she starts with Pyroar. One Earthquake and it dies. Next is a Talonflame. I Rock Slide, it misses. Talonflame Brave Birds, does under half. I Rock Slide, it misses again. Are you serious. I can’t remember Rock Slide missing at any other point in this game. Talonflame uses Brave Bird, CRIT, but I survive by one goddamn HP. I don’t have Pokemon Aime activated, but I survive.

I Hyper Potion, she Brave Birds again, but too fucking late. You had your chance. I finally get a Rock Slide off and Talonflame goes down. Next is a Torkoal. This Pokemon’s kinda random, can’t Malva have a Ninetales? Anya’s still ready, and I Earthquake the Torkaol away. Last Pokemon is a Chandelure. Same thing, one Earthquake and I win.

I give Anya a Super Potion and an Ether for her Earthquake attack (down to one), and now it’s time for Drasna. Drasna’s room is kinda cool, but I just really like her personality. Instead of being a cool or cute dragon user, she’s sweet and motherly. Aw. She starts with Dragagle, but using a ground-type Pokemon against me? Fool. I Earthquake it to death. She threatens to send out Altaria, and I consider switching but I don’t have anything to switch to. I use Dragon Claw and kill it in one hit anyways. Same for Noiven and Druddigon. Okay, that was easy.

Last is Siebold. What a boring guy. His room is the best by far, but we’ve had art-obsessed water-type trainers before. He’s old news. He leads with Clawtizer, and I stay with Anya. I use Earthquake, but Clawitzer survives and uses Dragon Pulse. It gets me into yellow, but that’s not enough and while Siebold uses a Full Restore, I continue Earthquaking until he runs out. Then Clawtizer dies. Next is Gyarados. In a moment of whimsy, I switch in Saot the Stunfisk to Thunderbolt, but Gyarados uses Waterfall and Soat dies. Aw.

I send in Shezza the Poliwrath. I take the first turn to heal Anya while Gyarados Dragon Dances. I have just the cure for this. Shezza Body Slams and predictably gets a paralyze. Then it’s Bulk Up time. For six turns, Siebold and I Bulk Up / Dragon Dance, getting to the point Gyarados becomes faster than me despite the paralyse. Gyarados uses Earthquake but it does just under half. I use Payback, get it into yellow. Gyarados uses Earthquake, but I just survive and make the finishing blow.

Starmie’s next. I send in Lyrium the Treveant because she hasn’t gotten a chance to battle yet. Starmie uses Psychic, does over half, but I use Horn Leech and take most of my HP back. Starmie survives, uses Psychic again, and while I finish it off, I barely get any HP back. Last is Barbaracle. Dammit, I forgot about it. If I remembered, I would have saved Lyrium for him. I stay in anyways, but Barbaracle Stone Edges Lyrium to death. Oh well. I send in Anya to Earthquake, and I win.

That’s the Elite Four. It’s time for the champion. I heal up, and with four Pokemon remaining, I ascend.

Dianthe has a gorgeous room, bright and heavenly, and I like her design, but her Pokemon are disappointing. She was really easy to beat in my first play-through. I wonder if it’s the same here? I start with Titus the Altaria, her with Hawlucha. Hawlucha uses Poison Jab, it doesn’t do much. I use Cotton Guard just cause. Hawlucha Poison Jabs again, does even less, but finally gets that poison status. I use Fly, get out of dodge, and come down like a beast, killing it. For Aurorus, I switch to Anya and kill it with one Earthquake. Dianthe could have at least put Ice Shard on that thing.

Next is Goodra. I send in Shezza the Poliwrath, because I can. Goodra uses Dragon Pulse, does less than half, while I Bulk Up. Goodra gets me in red, and I use Payback, doing less than half. Oh well. The Goodra finishes Shezza off, and I finish it off with a Dragon Claw from Anya. Anya stays in to kill the Tyrantrum. For Gourgeist, I go back to Titus. I use Flamethrower, but Gourgeist is bulky and survives in yellow. Gourgeist uses Trick-or-Treat, but it’s a waste of time and I finish it off with another Flamethrower.

Last but not least is Mega Gardevoir. Finally, Matt has something to do. I switch him in and kill the Gardevoir with one Sludge Bomb.

And that’s the game. I win everything, forever.

A few days later, the entire country puts on a festival in my honor, as they should. I bask in the attention, but suddenly, someone deviates from the crowd. It’s AZ! You’ve been pretty much a no show for the entire game, but now you challenge me? Okay, sure, why not.

He leads with a Torkoal and I, with Titus. I Dragon Pulse, doing more than half, but Torkoal uses Stone Edge, but it doesn’t even get me into yellow. I guess being ten levels higher will do that to you. I finish it off with a Dragon Pulse. AZ sends in Siglyph (poor Lutris…), and I send in Matt. I misclick and use Sludge Bomb, doing over half, and Siglyph uses Cosmic Power, but it’s too late for that, buddy! I aim true and kill it with Shadow Ball. Last Pokemon is Golurk. I send in Anya. Earthquake is the solution here, and I kill Golurk in one hit.

Battle over, cue sad music. Something floats down from the sky. The sun blinds us. Everyone looks up. It’s AZ’s black Floette, returning to its trainer at last. Goddamn it, why is there sand in my eyes? I like how the whole festival is watching us and thinking, ‘Who the fuck is this guy?’ The screen pans up, into the sky, overlooking Lumiose, and there’s that damn Fletchling who woke me up two weeks ago. Fucking thing.

Credits.

Curtains closed.

This Nuzlocke is over.



THE WINNING TEAM

Anya the Flygon, level 73. She killed everything and deserves to rule by my side.
Titus the Altaria, level 70. Way better than she had every right to be. Made a good sidekick to Anya.
Matt the Haunter, level 65. I barely used him, he was the official cheerleader.



Vira, the one and only.
Time: 29:37, done in the two weeks while watching the Olympics. Time well spent.



Boxed for All Eternity
Ash the Azurill (level 4).
Irene the Flabebe (level 7).
Stojil the Machop (level 17).
Proph the Tentacool (level 25).
Churchy the Pumpkaboo (level 50).
Lungs the Foongus (level 25).
Proph the Tentacool (level 28 ).
Poytin the Seaking (level 32).
Probellum the Dragalge (level 34).

Rest in Peace Loserville
Lexi the Butterfree (level 11). You weren’t very good anyways.
Zev the Bulbasaur (level 10). Illegal Pokemon are not allowed!
Lucky the Wingull (level 17). Maybe sending you out against a rock-type wasn’t a good idea.
Font the Litleo (level 25). Why are you normal-fire? That’s such a dumb typing.
Blab the Hariyama (level 24). Welp.
Lutris the Siglyph (level 29). I’m so fucking sorry.
Palin the Shedninja (level 23). I tried, you were kinda cool.
Drome the Ninjask (level 38 ). I was dumb and I deserve your anguish.
Tinn the Furfrou (level 43). You were the greatest. Good dog, best friend.
Unreadable Characters the Carbrink (level 54). You will be remembered.
Jon the Murkrow (level 34). Whoops.
Yveltal (level 50). I dunno, guys.
Vir the Mamoswine (level 50). This is why we can’t have nice things.
Monkey the Abomoasnow (level 41). I can’t remember how he died and that tells you how much I cared.
Kalas the Heliolisk (level 56). You were pretty interesting, I might use your species again one day.
Kang the Ludicolo (level 50). I didn’t mean for you to die, it just happened.
Chaos the Sandslash (level 52). You were just filler anyways.
Sesc the Karrablast (level 51). If only I wasn’t lazy.
Zeit the Durant (level 33). Whatever.
Kai the Lanturn (level 31). Slightly saddening.
Saot the Stunfisk (level 50). Lol, I didn’t even try.
Lyrium the Treveant (level 56). Maybe next time.
Shezza the Poliwrath (level 55). Tbh, you were kinda boring.


Yay, back to breeding.

 

Fuck you too.

 

Goddamn, I wish I was as dedicated as you with Nuzlockes. Only Nuzlocke I've ever completed was a Platinum one where I got pretty lucky and only lost 3 bros. And here you are persevering through 23 deaths.

 

Vira. Since I didn't say it when you originally posted I feel like I must now.

 

Fuck Yeah is now a banned name, sir. You'll have to choose another.

 

Thanks to Poytin I get my Casper to evolve into a Trevenant. And then two fights later against the Grant Rematch, cockiness got Casper killed, oh well. NEXT! Decide to take Wingull for a Fly Slave. I'll probably use another catch later, whatever, time to roll the next portion of the story. After leaving a trail of dead pokemon behind me, I beat up a fatman in a suit and then hit the right button... but fatty was a sore loser and activated the weapon anyways. So off to Geosenge town to stop the weapon the old school way, destroying it. After getting to Geosenge, I beat up the obligatory guard goon and then Lysandre challenges me to round 2. This time I have Tbolt so it's even more of a joke than the first time. Zeit evolves afterwards at some level or other.

Me and Serena make a beeline to the legendary with destroying mooks in double battles along the way. Shuana shows up and says we should all go together, I guess she'll be our cheerleader? She then uses a device to help her break the lock on the door to the room with the legendary. They each take 1 of the 6 people in the room... leaving me with 4. After defeating the last 4 chumps, I faced off with Yvetal. One Stone Edge and an Ultra Ball later and I had caught me a legendary bringer of death! However using it is a last resort so into the box it went. Nicknamed it Birdy because why not? Then comes both chicks that are after my dick and Lysandre in the most hilariously what the fuck suit ever. Round 3 doesn't turn out any better for Lysandre either. In fact, Wall-Ene sweeps his entire team.... or would have but Gyarados got a crit off Iron head Would have killed Nyancat too but it survived with 1 hp and without having to do Amie either! Well time to head to a pokecenter and bring out Clefki. After the fight Lysandre uses the weapon's little remaining energy to destroy the weapon itself. I head back to Anistar, swap out Carbink for Klefki and call it there having received two deaths, one being fairly major.

Pokemon:
Party:
Churchey the Blastoise – Level 61 (Mega)
Slime the Goodra – Level 60
Nyancat the Meowstic – Level 61
Lexi the Pyroar – Level 60
Jingle the Klefki – Level 36
Zeit the Pelipper – Level 34 – Welcome to the life of a HM Slave/Switch bait.

Box:
Mozilla the Fennekin – Level 15
Oz the Snorlax – Level 15
Raine the Whimsur – Level 14
Poytin the Inkay – Level 15
Sandy the Sandile – Level 16
Irene the Butterfree – Level 40
Muscles the Machop – Level 17
THOU SHALL NOT RENAME the Amaura – Level 20
Honda the Hariyama – Level 23
El Toro the Hawlucha – Level 24
Mama Bear the Beartic – Level 39
Water Gun the Remoraid – Level 25
Worst the Tentacool – Level 26
Middy the Sneasel – Level 38
Birdy the Yvetal - Level 50

Graveyard:
Ashaya the Beedrill – Level 15 – You kind of sucked anyways.
Guiche the Roselia – Level 17 – Fucking Jackass makes me wait till day so I can evolve him and then dies anyways.
Litter Bug the Mothim – Level 29 – And you were just getting started too.
Shioon the Scrafty – Level 52 - 4th Missed Drop Kick was the charm?
Raven the Honchkrow – Level 48 (Super Luck) – Thunderbolt'd
Casper the Phantump – Level 38 – got killed by Amaura evo after he killed two Audino
Wall-Ene the Carbink – Level 55 – Iron head crit op.

 

Haven’t ever done a Nuzlocke for more than two routes, so seeing this through might get interesting. Leafgreen with standard rules, plus boxing the starter and the same overarching Shiny rule that caused LT2000 to catch a Wingull earlier. Not that I’m expecting to run into one, but eh. No duplicates either, but that’s more for routes 1 and 2 having a pretty decent chance of running into said duplicate. I’m also battling on Set instead of Shift, so there’s that.

Started with Bulbasaur and with crithax on my side, Charmander goes down. First Pokémon I encounter is Rattata, but no capturing yet, so I just run from the rat. One errand later and it’s off to Route 1. Coinflip between Rattata and Pidgey, and whilst I prefer Rattata because it’s got a lot more punching power for Misty, plus , I naturally get Lucienne the Pidgey at level 3. At least the Impish nature is okay. Careful training gets him to level 7 before hitting Viridian and with that, it’s on to routes 2, 22 and the Viridian Forest for more catches.

I get Fire Ants the Rattata on Route 2. He’s Brave, which is okay, I suppose. It also means I get a bigger chance for Mankey on Route 22, since Rattata is now out there due to the duplicate rule. Windbag the Naive Caterpie is caught in Viridian Forest and is quite acceptable, if only because he’ll get Stun Spore and that means easier catching later on. Unfortunately, Route 22 gives me the 10 % spawn of Spearow as opposed to Mankey's 45 %. Brock is going to be so much fun with this team of Lucienne, Fire Ants, Windbag and Shift, and the Mild nature that Swift has is not going to help either. Not that I planned on using him against Brock in the first place…

Skipping over the training montage, I engage my rival, and hope that the crithax gods are on my side. Naturally, the Pidgey mirror match starts off with a crit on his side, but it does only 40 % of Lucienne’s HP, so that’s okay. A Potion fixes everything and both of his Pokemon fall to Lucienne after much Gusting.

At this point, I make a quick jaunt to Bulbapedia to check the stats on Rattata – who gets a 80 power move early on – and Onix, and find that Onix’s defence is probably too high to whittle away at with Hyper Fang, which leaves me with very few options. I could spam Sand Attack till the cows come home with Lucienne, but that still leaves me kind of short on the damage output. Shift is useless for now, so that just leaves a Confusion play with Windbag.

I ultimately show up at Brock with Windbag and Fire Ants at level 13 and the two birds at level 12. First off is his Geodude, which apparently lacks any and all Rock-type moves. This allows me to make use of Windbag’s Harden, and as Geodude does only Defence Curl and two Tackles, I end up winning that battle with only 4hp lost.

In comes the Onix, who eats a heap of Poisonpowder first thing. In the resulting melee, Brock shows that the AI of Leafgreen isn’t exactly state of the art by not spamming the hell out of Rock Tomb. One Rock Tomb, two Tackles and a Bind later, and Onix goes down with Windbag not even in the red, and no Potions used either. I get the badge and the TM for Rock Tomb, which none of my current team can learn anyway. I leave, heal up, get the Running Shoes and save.

Team

Windbag the Butterfree – level 14
Fire Ants the Rattata – level 13
Shift the Spearow – level 12
Lucienne the Pidgey – level 12

Some Forgotten Pocket Dimension
Ignored the Bulbasaur - level 6

 

I'm going to do a blind nuzlocke of Emerald.

Rules:

Fainted=Dead
No Duplicates
Nicknames for all!
Shiny rule in effect
Encounters don't start until you get pokeballs
Deaf mode (working is srs bznz)

Can I just start off by saying how tedious the character limit is? I get it, Wild Feather is 11 (or 12) characters, but really, wldfthr looks so dumb. I could use my real name, but fuck that, so you may call me the Wizzard. Not to be confused with the wizard, or warlocke. This instantly produces a chortle when pokeprofessor says "You're the Wizzard moving to my town."

This is the first time I realize in actuality that I've never played this generation of pokemon games. Not only because I'm not fond of the starters, but also because the familiar -and comforting- bedroom scene is replaced by riding around INSIDE a moving truck. Number one that's just dangerous, and number two, what's mom getting up in the cab of the truck that I can't be there for?

Never mind, I don't want to know.


Mom starts yammering on about my new roo- OH HOLY GOD IS THAT A YETI? I WANT ONE OF THOSE!

...What mom? I have a dad in this generation? And he bought me a clock? Wow. 'kay I guess i'll ignore the moving yeti so I can set the clock for this emulator. Given that I have no idea whether day or night will matter at all, i'll be dark and edgy and set it at night. After I set the clock mom comes in and tells me we're all moved in. After checking my desk (thank you potion) mom calls me down and I'm supposed to actually see my dad for once. I can't help but get a little excited, I don't think I've ever seen a pokedad.

Kidding, the show ends before I can see his face. Or sprite, but I'm sure he's a devastating sexy beast (and a gym leader maybe?) After that show ends, some gay guys dance on a keyboard. I'm sooo out of here, bye mom. Hopefully I'll never come back here again, thanks for giving me the only room in the whole house though! Also they named the house after me too, so I feel a bit bad that i'll probably never come back (except to commit suicide).

Walking around town a fat man tells me about my item storage (hint hint, thanks game) and some other scrub tells me something else, but I want my pokemon. Except the lab has none, and neither does Birch's house. Of course, it does have his hot cute loli daughter who has a pokeball in her room. When I try to take it (in customary RPG style) she interrupts me, and decides we should be friends. Or something, all I know is, she wants the D. Also there's a little kid walking around with pink hair, which I notice after I attempt to take the pokeball again unsuccessfully. I guess i'll just wander off into the tall grass containing all sorts of violent and evil pokemon who want to tear me to shreds.

Where's those yeti when you need them?

Turns out I was right, and there are vicious pokemon just outside town. A little girl stops me just on border of town and asks me to go check out the horrible, heart rending screams and cries for help just half a screen away. Thanks kid, I'm glad you care about me so much.

That being said, I am the hero of this story, so rescuing people is right up my alley. Turns out it's Professor Birch being chased around by a zigzagoon. I select the mudkip as my new ally, because grass type is for suckers and who wants a fire chicken? Some weird water-lizard thing is fine by me (or at least, more fine than the other options. Besides, I'm used to this stuff, Manogator and Manstoise were perfectly badass starters, and usually the water starter means you don't have to actually catch and train a pokemon until the third or fourth gym.

The battle is literally nothing to write about, we trade tackles but it's a foregone conclusion. Of course, this means my rival/soon to be girlfriend will pick Treecko, but that's okay because fire types are abundant in most gens.

...Right?

So anyway Birch explains that he is a complete idiot and forgot to use the 3 pokemon he had on his person to defend himself against a level 2 raccoon thing. After he teleports me to his lab (orwe walk, and I black out from boredom) he starts to talk me up. Or at least, Dad talked me up in the past so now he's a fan. At this point, I'm just hoping that he lets me keep the mudkip, which I will name StupidHero because HoS runs uncontested on IRC. He then sends me off to meet with his daughter to 'learn what it's like to be a trainer and get some experience' which I think is a metaphor for taking her virginity.

It turns out saving Birch has made me the hero of this little Podunk town. May is nowhere to be found, but Birch healed StupidHero before giving him to me, which saves me an embarrassing trip to my house. Sometimes when I walk by the house it's sad to see mom sitting there, in the chair staring at the wall instead of the perfectly good tv to her right. It also turns out May has left town to go adventuring, and not to be one upped by my main squeeze I head out also. I destroy two poochenya and learn mudslap, which I can only assume based on speaking with HoS is some kind of kinky, sex move that makes pokemon faint because of the horrible trauma.

After I get to the next town, I go heal at the pokemon. An old man there tells me how the pokepc works, and a little tyke tells me that pokemon have socialzed medicine, which is cool I guess. Not sure if that applies to humans, since we can't go into pokeballs (for no apparent reason) but the twin of the guy running the pokemart calls me over and gives me a free potion (that makes 2) and I run inside and buy 5 antidotes. Because fuck poison, seriously. I head back to route 101 to grind up to level 10, because the emulator has a fast-frames button so why not?

Current jizzcount (string shot): 8

Turns out at level 10 StupidHero learns water gun, which would be useful except that he has a gentle nature (offtopic: he pulls all the ladies though, 80% of the pokemon I encountered grinding to 10 were female), so I take advantage of the socialize pokemedicine and try to head west out of town. Some dick sees some rare pokemon footprints and stops me, so I head north to route 103 out of Oldale town. This is the second route i'll encounter with no pokeballs yet, not sure if I'll want to backtrack when I get pokeballs for a poochenya/wurmple/ziggzagoon and whatever is on rt 103. At this point I just want some sweet sweet loving.

Success! I find May and she wants a quickie. Also a pokemon battle, but that ends quickly; StupidHero is twice the level of her Trecko, so I let him masturbate (water gun) it to death bukkake style. Since I still don't have pokeballs yet, I run around route 103 to see what it's possible for me to catch. Apparently Wingull is on the menu today, but with my luck i'll get one of the other two possible encounters. After beating May I head through Oldale and heal up in the pokecenter, then head to the lab. I get a pokedex (big surprise) and try to leave town.

I say try, because mom stops me. It's worth it to stop because mom gives me running shoes, but my first encounter is a poochenya. I'll probably catch it... Kidding. I critical strike it. Well it's an ugly pokemon anyway. I guess that grinding might have been a bad idea. In town I buy 5 more pokeballs (for 1k pokebucks....sheesh) and talk to the pillowmuncher who stopped me from going west earlier, turns out they were his own footprints.

Really?!

Since I'm feeling lucky I head up north hoping to catch a Wingull. Not because I particularly like that pokemon, but it'd be nice to get my fly slave out of the way early. A single masturbate attack brings him low (he's only level 2), but the stupid rat with wings wastes 3 pokeballs to be caught. Klackerz is the only person on IRC, so he gets the honor of being my first caught pokemon. In retrospect I should have waited to catch a pokemon on route 103 until I have a fishing rod, but since I started with a water type and caught a water/flying it's probably not going to matter much. The old bait and switch will do the trick to level 7. In the process StupiderHero gets level 12, and the jizzcounter hits 9. West out of Oldale town!

Route 102 yields a wurmple, which died to Klackerz in 2 water guns (jizzcounter: 10). Battling the trainers is a waste of time but it seems like the only thing worth mentioning on rt 102 since it continues to have the basic 3: Wurmple, Zigzagoon, Poochenya (jizzcounter:11), which seems okay until the final trainer lets out a taillow, which would have been a nice edition to my party. I pick and replant a pecha and oran berry tree, though with the way my game is playing who knows If it will ever grow. Tiana has a shroomish, but it dies to a critackle. On my way to pick up the pokeball I spotted a lotad (it was a potion in the pokeball) but like I really needed another water type?

Petalburg city is a bust, no one gives me anything for free. Going to the gym I mentor some kid in catching a motherfucking RALTS. How the fuck did I not see this guy in the grass ever? All my rage. I leave town in a huff, because dear old dad (I think? Not sure, I've never seen a pokedad...) won't fight me and some idiot wastes my time talking about my clothes. Route 104 yields a Wurmple, which I catch after she jizzes all over my pokemon (jizzcounter:13). Two encouters later I get a marrill, which would have been annoying. I'm not Misty damnit. I'll level over here for a bit, I'm headed into a forest up ahead and I'd like for Klackerz to learn a flying move (or get to level 10) in case I get annoyed with all the bugs.

Unfortunately nearly everything on route 104 is a water type, so I head back to 102 to get those levels. Ideally I won't come out til Klackerz learns a non-water attack move (he did learn supersonic, but that does no damage. To my extreme rage I kill 3 ralts (F) and get jizzed on for the 14th time. Unfortunately, Klackerz did not learn a new attack at level 10 and I don't know if wurmple is worth using, so I only level her to 5 then i'll head through the forest on the back of StupidHero. The first encounter is, of course, a wurmple. Of course I immediately spot a shroomish (or 10...) but the highlight -if you could call it that- is when the Team Aqua grunt tries to mug someone in front of me

Doing that good deed makes StupidHero finally evolve into Marshtomp. Every encounter after that is an interesting one though, but what can you expect in nuzlocke? The sloth thing I face makes me remember the yetis that almost were mine though. I plant some more berries but otherwise just crush people on my way into town. Unfortunately the other side of the forest is labeled 104 also, so I can't catch anything over here. The town itself is a bust (rock type gym with a water starter, and none of my pokemon can learn cut) marshtop can crush everyone here, but If I start with Klackerz he might pick up some levels. Zeelthor evolves after I accidentally double battle a duo of 2 geodude trainers, but otherwise-

Hahaha Just kidding. I was going to say Roxanne rolls over to Zeelthor's water gun, but he gets rock tombed 100-0 and dies instantly. I wasn't particularly attached to it, but that means I'll need to catch another flying pokemon at some point.

RIP Zeelthor the Wingull, lvl 11 -Enjoy your stay in box 14.

As I leave the gym some thief runs out with a package. Sensing some plot, I investigated the Devon corp building, but no one gave me any clues. So I saved and turned the game off.

RIP IN PEACE ZEELTHOR.

Graveyard (aka box 14)
Zeelthor the Wingull (11)

 

Starting out on Route 3, I rush to the grass, hoping for a female Nidoran. Decent odds for that due to the no duplicates clause, but no, I get a level 7 Mankey, who gets the nickname of Bynn, in hopes that she’ll be breaking shit. Unfortunately, a Modest nature is pretty much the opposite of what I wanted. I need the relatively low-risk way to get rid of any Geodudes up ahead, so no benching for now, but she’s not making a good case for herself. Geodude is also the first Pokémon I encounter in Mount Moon, and Wharf the Geodude is caught, and summarily put at the bottom of the party, to be PC’d once I catch the next Pokémon. I’m not a fan of the Geodude line and it’s going to be beyond useless for most of the upcoming bit. He might make for good switchbait and he actually makes himself useful when I forget that Magnemites are a bit of a hard counter to my team.

Of course, in between taking Rockets down several pegs, I encounter two Clefairy back to back. Of all the times I can’t catch you... Shift makes short work of the second Super Nerd in the mountain and I select the Helix Fossil. It’s not going to be used, but that just means it remains in its purest form. More Pokémon fall to my team and I eventually end up in Route 4’s grassy field, where I first encounter two Rattatas before encountering a new Pokémon – Amanitis the Sandscrew. The sucky natures don’t stop – he’s Calm – but he’ll be in my team after I get rid of Gary, just in case I need to use Wharf for stalling purposes. I level Shift and Fire Ants to level 18 and the other three to level 15 and engage Gary.

Pidgeotto isn’t the best Pokémon, but I don’t have anything to really counter it, so Shift leads off by Growling several times before getting to the Fury Attack. Out comes his Rattata, and Shift can’t survive a Hyper Fang, so I switch to Windbag. Two Quick Attacks leave him below 50 % hp, and I’m forced to use up my third potion of the battle just to make sure that I don’t run into Hyper Fang, but he just keeps on Quick Attacking. His loss, my gain and half of his Pokémon down.

Out comes the Charmander, and I send out Bynn to test the fires. Ember does a crapton of damage but fails to 2hko. Time for a sacrifice it is, and Wharf gets sent out to soak hits while I heal up Shift. Surprisingly, he survives a Scratch and a Metal Claw. He still dies because I don’t want anything to take damage on the switch in. I regret nothing, though had I known that Fire Ants would crit on his Hyper Fang, I would’ve gone about it differently. Hindsight’s 20/20 I suppose. Just the Abra left, and those pitiful defences don’t stand a chance against the sharp teeth of my rat. Gary down and I’m free to take on the Nugget challenge. I use this to bring Fire Ants to level 19, but, more importantly, Shift hits level 20, giving me a Fearow.

I lead with Windbag as I hope for a Bellsprout or even an Abra, but my luck is against me as I encounter a Weedle. It is summarily caught, given the nickname Transition before being deposited in the PC, never to see daylight again. I catch Jevel the Abra on Route 25, and it comes with a Timid nature and a Twistedspoon. Lucienne promptly gets shoved out, and training ensues. I’ve a Starmie to slay. Somehow.

Disaster strikes as fucking Youngster Joey’s Rattata crit-Hyper Fangs Windbag down from 2/3rds HP. Apparently, this one’s also in the top percentage of Rattatas... Farewell Windbag, you served me well. Fire Ants wreaks bloody vengeance, but there goes the type diversity. I train Fire Ants up to Raticate and Jevel up to Kadabra and after some more levels for the latter, I go off to the Gym. The trainers are easy and I engage Misty. Staryu falls for a single, non-crit Hyper Fang, and Fire Ants stays in for Starmie, who is defeated after two Hyper Fangs. Water Pulse hit twice, but no dice on the confusion, so even though Fire Ants has HP in the red, it’s no real problem.

Route 5 nets me Journeyman the Bellsprout. I’m skipping the Route 6 Pokémon for now so that I don’t get stuck at some point due to not having a Water-type. Yada, yada, trainers and hello Vermillion City. Heal up and it’s time to hit the SS Anne. Lots of battling ensues, and the only scare is a Shellder knocking Journeyman into the red with Icicle Spear. The crit Vine Whip it gets in return makes sure it doesn’t do that a second time. The Water-types also mean Journeyman evolves into Weepinbell just prior to hitting up Gary, but beating that noob is for another day.

Team

Fire Ants the Raticate – level 21
Shift the Fearow – level 22
Bynn the Mankey – level 19
Jevel the Kadabra – level 20
Amanitis the Sandscrew – level 18
Journeyman the Weepinbell – level 21

Boxed
Transition the Weedle – level 7
Lucienne the Pidgey – level 16

Bereft of life
Wharf the Geodude – level 9 – Cannon fodder in its purest form.
Windbags the Butterfree – level 18 – Youngster Joey happened.

Some Forgotten Pocket Dimension
Ignored the Bulbasaur - level 6

 

Day 2:

I started off by catching Mishie the Poochenya on Rt 116. The next encounter is the insanely more useful Taillow, but there's nothing I can do about that but head to Rt 115 (which is north out of town instead of east) since I still have no pokemon that can learn cut. I decide to level Zeelthor so that he evolves from his cocoon stage, since he will be more useful then, so I grind for a bit in the brushes of Rt 116. And by a bit I mean 3 battles, because it's not worth the heart attack of having pokemon in the red after each battle.

Battling in the forest with Zeelthor is a treat. Not only is his effective attack (poison sting) super effective against the mushroomish I face, but it also lands poison occasionally to speed things up. At level 10 Zeelthor evolved into a Beautifly, so now he's a vampire with absorb. I switch to Mishie for a little while, but he gets jizzed on constantly (16) so it's embarrassing. Zeelthor, it just so happens, turns into a damn vampire and learns absorb, so it's very easy to level him to 15, just 3 levels behind StupidHero (HoS). To contrast that, getting Mishie to 10 is mind-numbingly boring. I do eventually make it into the tunnel, where the Team Aqua theif is holed up, but he's not even really worth writing about. Minion the Whimsur is caught in the tunnel.

I return the goods to the Devon Corp guy, and he gives me a greatball and a tour of the Devon Corp. And I get asked a favor, but since this is probably on my way anyway I don't refuse. I get a mob feeling anyway, and he does offer me a pokenav, which is a fancy name for a map. And a cell phone, apparently. Too lazy to play more though, so I save and quit.

RIP IN PEACE

Klackerz the Wingull