Well, my rewrite of Sealed Fate blew up in my face (an unfortunate combination of a wayward Beta and my sudden, irrational hate of TimeTravel fics fucked it sideways) but now I am plagued with a plot bunny which will not leave me be. It is so annoying, they always seem to hit me at the most unconventional times (I am revising for my A-Levels at the moment) and every waking minute seems to be focused in developing it (annoying to both my revision and original works).

The help I requite from you generous folk will involve helping me iron out some issues, so I can hopefully knock out a few chapters and get rid of the itch.

Basically it’s an AU after Hagrid introduces him into the Wizarding World (I wanted to do something slightly original, after all, and most other starting points are so overdone). Locked back under the stairs, Harry isn’t warned about the Use of Underage Magic Laws (this is cannon, amazingly) and so uses a few spells to first see, then break free.

Now out of confinement, he see’s two letters from the Ministry; the first warning him about the Use of Underage Magic offence, the second saying he has been expelled. Scared, and confused, Harry runs.

Now, it is important that Harry abandons the Wizarding World, for I want to set out a series of events which come to light later on, but realised that this was a whimsy reason. To add more depth, I decided to include some crap about how, in some history texts he had read, the authors, clearly being pure bloods, look down upon his mother. With his now new knowledge of magic, Harry remembers more of his parent’s death then just that pesky green light, and realises that Voldemort was actually after him and his parents, especially his mother, died for him. Thus, the racist views piss him off. Add Draco’s comments back from Malkin’s, and hey presto; reason to hate this new world.

Does this even make sense? I mean, he is only eleven, and so should have that kind of mindset; right? I had a pretty easy ass childhood, so I didn’t have to make any fucked-up decisions. Not implying that you people did, but would this kind of train of thought make sense?

Plus side on this story, I won’t be fucking about and using cannon-events as filler; it is going to be nearly completely original. Yes, I will add some cliché shit (we have to, these days) such as minor, and I mean minor, abilities in ‘elemental’ magic (using older definitions, four main and four minor elements; Harry will control a minor one, and get his ass kicked by the ‘major’ ones should he try and duel them). But meh, I need your opinion on whether this start to the Fic is worth the endeavour. (Please hold off the ‘Elemental = fail’ mentality, it isn’t an important part of the story and will be done in an original way.)

Cheers in advance, Dark Stallion.

 

This is a very hard sell IMO. Whatever Harry figures out or thinks he's figured out doesn't matter, because Dumbledore will find him in a few hours and fix everything up. The only way this can work is if Harry is something like neglected twin of a BWL or in an alternate universe or some crap like that, where he isn't important enough for wizards to come looking for him.

Also, an 11 year old with a firm agenda is a bit of a stretch too. But if you start with confusion and vague dislike, you can build on from there... given that you find a way to 'lose' Harry in the muggle world first, of course.

 

Going on a long shot here, but you could have Harry accidentally *Summon* his invisibility cloak. Not because it's a Hallow. Dear God, not because its a Hallow. No, more like James Potter did a *obscure* charm so when he needs it in a jiffy he can have it. Thus, the Cloak then transfers that onto Harry.
That should provide enough time to hide. You could then have someone destroy/take it so that way you leave more options in the future. Damn, that was going to be a plot device I was going to do, but now that I think of it it wouldn't fit in very well. Also on the plus side you have a somewhat decent idea not yet ruined by lesser writers.

 

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing, but then I started thinking about it in more detail.

Say it happened around 6 am, so Harry, in his bid for freedom, escapes around 6:30.

Dumbledore, in OotP, replied very quickly to Harry's magic, however we must also remember it was at a reasonable time and he was also on the look-out, with many spies within the Ministry. I figure that in this situation Dumbledore would be caught unawares, and unable to stop Harry before he effectively 'looses' himself.

I'm going for a Dumbledore who yes, did want to use Harry eventually, but not one who put magical trackers on a one year old baby; I find that a stretch on his character. I always assumed that Owls depended on an actual 'address' to find someone, and so he would be safe from them, and normal methods of 'magical tracking' require some form of magical residue. All semantics, if you ask me.

My main qualm was not in the staying 'hidden', as such, but more of the actual reason for him to leave. He doesn't actually have an agenda, just confusion about a new world and some apprehension at the way they portray his 'sacrificial' mother...

Anyway, thanks for the swift responses,
Dark-Stallion.

Edit: Sorry Ahsun, didn't scroll down enough to see your post. I wasn't going to include the Hallows at all, they seem like a rather thin plot-device to me, actually. However, you have now made me think whether or not to include Horcruxes. Harry himself will be very busy with non-Order things, when he is eventually 'found', so it may be an interesting side-plot so to speak... But I would then have to decide what the Scar Horcrux would be so as to avoid any Harry angsting about how he is a container for Voldemort's soul. On that note, I would need a new one for Nagini while I am at it, for I do not see the Dark Lord as a person to trust his soul to any kind of sentient being...

 

If you do include horcruxes, I've yet to see a fic where Harry performs to the horcrux spell/ritual to rid himself of Voldemort's soul splinter. Otherwise it sounds like a pretty good story.

Just one thing though, after Harry leaves (assuming he gets out fine and goes AWOL) and Dumbledore cottons on, how would he be able to do magic without being tracked by the underage magic department? I would assume they would keep Dumbledore informed of any 'accidents', it's just the kind of person he is.

Aekiel

 

Actually, I doubt the Underage Dept would expel him for two uses so close together - this is before the Ministry started hating him. If the letters go out automatically for a first offense, the manager (Hopkirk?) might not notice exactly whose address was on the envelope.
It might be more logical to suppose that Harry did the first spell, and then Vernon threw a fit and tossed him back in the cupboard (the locks weren't on the second bedroom til book2.) Harry might have been so intimidated that he wouldn't try again for a while ... so have them leave him locked up for a few days - perhaps the Dursleys could go away for the weekend (if you don't mind an abuse fic.) Harry Doesn't get the letter, and no one else sees it. Then Harry could get desperate and cast the second spell, trying to escape the cupboard.
He's eating his first food in a few days when the expulsion letter arrives. THEN he runs for it. AD isn't necessarily informed when Potter trips the Underage magic detectors. Dumbledore doesn't have a clue until the next morning (longer if the second letter was sent during a weekend, when the Wizengamott isn't in session and AD had no reason to go to the Ministry.)
I can see several ways Harry could get far away before the fit hits the Shan, but none of my methods really work. Harry is a little kid, and even more lacking in experience than most kids (he had never seen the ocean before Book1.) He wouldn't have any idea how to find a ship to stowaway. Stowing on an airplane is out of the question. The Taboo covered all of the British Wizarding World, so I'm assuming that the Ministry detector spells cover the same area. I'm also assuming that a post owl wouldn't be able to find a kid who its owner has never met if the child is sufficiently far away.
You might go the "accidental magic" route: Harry manages to apparate an incredible distance in a panic, but then you'd need a good reason for that kind of feat. Expulsion isn't good enough.

 

Expulsion was simply the reason for him to leave the Dursleys, with the prejudice going against the Wizarding World in general. He's staying in Britain, and I was going for the 'Ministry covers specific areas' for the Tracking issue, rather then the large 'Taboo' one; the evidence for this simply being that we know it isn't in the wands, and yet they can't link crimes that easily, so their tracking systems must be specific. Plus, the Ministry has always been cack-minded with Fudge in charge, I wouldn't put it past them expelling in such a method (but just for you, Banner, I will have him use a Lumos first so that he can read, and then finds the Alohamora in a book so that he can leave the cupboard).

This means that Harry will be able to use magic without being found immediately, but the residue will be trackable if people do try within a certain range (let's be reasonable here, no large-scale spells ie; half the country). Plus, Aekiel, I was actually going to have Harry shun magic for the first few years, and then, in an act of revenge, get into 'Kick Ass' mode.

Give me a few hours, possibly a day, and I'll have a first draft of the prologue up in the WBA forum. If you guys would be so kind to advise me some more after I have written that up it would be much appreciated.

On that note; what is the general opinion of Vampire hunting? The simple plot idea I had was Harry go whoop-ass on the Vampire nation, which is very developed (think Underworld style), but be realistic at the same time. I just don't want this to end up being a fucking cliche trashcan, and I am apprehensive of taking it down that rout (though it would be extremely fun to write some gripping political action, with Harry going Arnie on the side...)

Anyways, cheers again, Dark-Stallion

Edit: Should I go 1st or 3rd person? 1st person gives a Fic an 'Epic' feel while I tend to be drawn to the easier-to-describe-with form of 3rd person... Downside would be that it would be harder to write in 1st, upside would be it being a very good writing exercise, so long as I don't fuck up with it.

 

No, it doesn't make sense. Your fears regarding an eleven year old independently developing that mindset are spot on.

Do you know what other emotion leads to hate? Fear. At least at first. Eleven year olds experience a lot of fear in their lives. It may be trite, but Yoda said it best: "Fear is the path to the dark side: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."

If you want to begin with Harry fearing the wizarding world, then here's one suggestion on how to kick it off:

I remember the feeling of fear I had as a ten year old after I watched the second Aliens movie: I was scared to walk down the darkened corridor to my bedroom; I feared something would jump out from behind every corner; my heart was racing just going to the toilet; I was walking scared, on the balls of my feet, ready to jump away at a moments notice from every shadow. It was fucking awesome.

When the Hogwarts letters come, instead of ignoring them the Dursleys develop in Harry a fear of witches. They show him every film, book, and fairy tale of witchcraft and horror that they can get their hands on. Instead of denying the existence of wizards and magic they torment him with claims that they've been protecting him from it all along. Witches kidnap children, sometimes they eat them. Hook noses, warts, and pointy hats.

Then Hagrid the ghastly man-giant comes to pick him up and in Harry's mind, steal him away to the witches and wizards. Instead of the world of magical wonders that canon-Harry saw; your Harry views the same sights through the Dursley's lens of evil sorcery and witchcraft. He sees a world of bewildering vaudeville horrors and macabre mysteries. He's frightened by it all.

It's little wonder that after Hagrid drops the scared little boy off, back at the merciless Dursleys (who've made it cruelly clear that they intend to turn him over to the wizards and witches), that he attempts to run away, using magic to aid him.

Feel free to use or ignore that. I got a little carried away.

 

I read a fic where Harry was completely scared of magic, via that same method, and it didn't make for good reading; I don't want Harry to actually be against magic, just the Wizarding World's view, or what he presumes it will be.

From I can remember at that age, I hated racists. Really, I lived in Manchester until I was eight. I was in the racial minority in my area, and I'm white, and I was surrounded by people who suffered from prejudice and I hated it. So, by extention, I was assuming that with their views blackening his hero mother, whom he now feels guilty that she gave up her life for him (lets say his dreams are as developed as his Dementor induced states are) would be enough to put him against them.

You may be right, it may be an over-exageration, but with his expulsion following this almost immediately (say he used Lumos to read such prejudice books and that led to his warning etc) it could be plausible.

Fuck me, I can't even imagine the mindset of an eleven year old... Do kids run away from a normal home at the age of eleven? If so, surely this would be an acceptable case, considering the, and I use the term lightly, 'abuse' he suffered (I will NOT turn this into an angst fest post-abuse circle jerk). Meh, this is why I asked for your help =)

While your idea has merit, I would prefer Harry's view of the Wizarding World (is there a way to say that and not be sexist? The 'Magical World' just sounds gay) to be one not of fear, but disgust. For example, I would prefer a Harry who honours his parent's memories and has a deep sense of loyalty to them. Consider him a Hufflepuff Harry, even though he won't be attending Hogwarts...

Shit, you gave me a lot to think about. Thanks Yak >.<

Seriously, or Sirius-ly if you're a homo, cheers! Dark-Stallion.

 

Revolted by magic.
OK, let's say that he has a few unpleasant experiences on the first trip to Diagon.
1) He *doesn't* like Hagrid - suppose Hagrid smells bad. Remember Petunia's attitude towards any dirt. Harry doesn't dislike Hagrid - he's indifferent and a little repulsed. Hagrid had an owl in one of his pockets when he arrived on the island. Lots of bird shit on and in his coat would repel almost any kid.
Hagrid embarrasses him on the train.
2) Getting swarmed at the Leaky Cauldron. These strangers grabbed him, shouted incoherently at him, knocked him off his feet: maybe he got kicked or slightly trampled. Make it a mob scene. Perhaps it's happy hour, or two-for-one drinks, and everyone is a little tipsy? Again, frightening and unpleasant.
3) An unpleasant encounter with some random spear carrier on the way to Gringotts. Maybe someone coming out of the apothecary spills something nasty on him, or splashes him with it. Accidently.
4) He doesn't like goblins: they're unpleasantly weird and unfriendly and he got sick on the cart.
5) gets gold - things are looking up.
6) Robes.
a Harry doesn't want to wear dresses.
b Draco dumps a lot of nastiness on this muggle-born
c madame Malkin accidently sticks him with a needle
d uncomfortable shoes? Maybe not - the ones he buys with the rest of his clothes might be the first shoes that have ever fit
7) Ollivander - all the dust triggers a sneezing attack. Harry loathes all the random effects he gets from the wrong wands. It takes Forever. Still sneezing. Then Ollivander's discourse about the other phoenix feather wand, which takes all the pleasure out of owning it.
8) Hedwig - this is good. Something to make up for the unpleasant day.
9) back on the train, with everyone staring at Hagrid, who keeps acting strange and who still has bird shit on his coat.

All-in-all, not really a good day. The British Wizarding World seems filthy, primitive, and impolite.

 

Lmfao!

You did make a good point with the mobbing at the pub, however! It would surely make a pretty crappy impression on a naive youngster, right?

Aww, don't ridicule Hagrid, he's one of my favourite characters! I mean, c'mon, he fucking had a cerebus; how cool can you get?

Cheers, Dark-Stallion.

 

You have!? And here I thought it was untapped territory.

I didn't mean for Harry to be scared of all magic either, at least not his own. I wanted his fear to be aimed at what he considers to be wizards and witches. Irrational fears to be sure, after all his education about what constitutes witches and wizards comes from indoctrination by the Dursleys and one disturbing trip to Diagon Alley. I'm sure some of the stories he was fed had good magic-users too, probably wizards to kill the evil witches or advise the hero on how to do so.

Eh, this requires some mental leaps on Harry's part. He also makes the mistake of believing an author's view of his mud-blood mother reflects the opinions of the wizarding world when Hagrid makes it pretty clear that he's completely enamoured with Harry's mother and father.

We've happy having homosexuals at DLP, but faggotry will eventually get you pwnt. Srsly.

 

I have two problems with Harry getting expelled for casting magic before his first year:


1. Hermione said she tried out a few spells, and succeeded, when on the train to Hogwarts. She didn't receive a letter obviously, so it's a safe bet that they don't care about first years trying out a few spells before going to Hogwarts.

2. The Ministry definitely would not expel Harry, even if they did give a shit about first years casting spells before Hogwarts. Remember, before Harry goes to Hogwarts, nobody knows him, everybody praises/rejoices him, and he is a fucking legend, a savior. The Ministry would have no reason to expel the Wizarding World's savior, and even if they tried, the shit would hit the fan and heads would roll. Fudge is in office, but he wasn't stupid enough to go after Harry until it was apparent (at least to him), that Harry was a threat to his administration in OoTP. Nay, the Ministry definitely would not expel Harry even if they did give a shit about first years casting magic.


It's just not a good plot. Come up with something else.

 

1) Could Hermione have, perchance, been talking about trying spells on the train? Just a possability, but there are a few ways around that one.

2) I can see the relevence, but the warnings seem to be automatic, dished out as soon as the offence is commited (CoS and OotP have them pretty much right away, considering the time it takes to fly from central London to Surry)

Points taken, however, and I'll see what else I can come up with then =)

Yak- Oh, ok. But wouldn't it be a bit contradictory for him to see magic as both evil and a saviour? Plus, while Hagrid was gushing for both his parents, he's eleven and very simple....

 

I'm pretty sure that the underage detection is only applied to students during holidays. It's discussed in one of the HP encyclopedias online.

It's not likely that Hermione would restrain herself from trying magic for no reason until she got on the train.

Nah, but I've argued it enough. I don't want to beat you into writing someone else's story.

 

Lol, don't feel that way; I like hearing different perspectives, and I honestly didn't even think of the fear-hate link before you suggested it!

Would Muggle-Borns be given different Hogwarts letters? Perhaps stating that the use of Underage Magic is prohibited? Thus Hermione had to hold off until she got on the train... A bit tenuous, but it is a possibility... Hagrid does, after all, seem to miss some important info. Is this an indication of Harry's cannon inability to do something useful; the fact that he is introduced into a new world where he can do magic, and yet he doesn't even attempt to try any new spells despite not being told not to? Maybe JKR overlooked it, or perhaps Harry always was fucking useless in cannon...

Meh, cheers, Dark-Stallion.

 

For the Hermione thing, maybe they don't install the detectors in muggleborn houses until after the first year, since they can't really do any magic yet, can they?

 

I thought the trace was on the person?

 

Magic is detected via the 'Trace', a charm that is applied to every student and is broken on their 17th birthday. [edit: JoJo23 beat me to it]

Required reading for info on underage magic use:
http://hp-encyclopedia.com/whot.php?page=underage
http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Trace

 

Not sure if its been said yet but

In GoF harry writes to Sirius by just telling Hedwig "take this to Sirius"(or something similar) of course this could be because Hedwig is a smart bird.