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Old 04-02-2017, 02:29 AM   #1
The Ḑ͉͙̫̑̂ͮ̎̍͒̽̉̆̀ͅȇ̱̯̘̖̾͐͐͂͢m̴̢͙̟̤̤̝̍ͫ͂̏̒́͘o̒n
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Best April Fools Post Contest

Hey everybody!

As stated in the announcement previously, there is a prize for the best post to come out of the past 24 hours.

What follows are the two and a half rules rules for this contest:

1. You can not submit a post that you made yourself.

2. You can vote for a post via thumbing the post you think is the best, if it has already been submitted.

2.5. If you have no remaining thumbs, you may quote the post to show your support.



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"Jon's fics are kinda like children in a way.
Bright, pretty, smart—children that any father would kill to have.
And he just tells them he needs to buy a pack of cigarettes."

—Lungs, 2015
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Old 04-02-2017, 02:43 AM   #2
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I got a big kick out of this:

Originally Posted by Erotic Adventures of S View Post
The Shadow of Angmar
by Steelbadger

Chapter 22: The unexpected landslide
The next day Harry, Helm and the Elven contingent moved forward hugging a small cliff that had been cut into the land by the flow of the Anduin over the millennia. Suddenly, rocks fell, and they all died.

Peace is a lie, the greatest lie there is. The truth is strife. Struggle. Pain. Suffering.

And from that turmoil, power. The power to bend the universe to my will.

- Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith
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Old 04-02-2017, 02:54 AM   #3
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Can't remember which shitpost thread exactly this was from so just backing up Nazgus' quote of someone else's quote.
Originally Posted by Nazgus View Post
We are Anonymous. We do not forgive. We do occasionally forget who we are.
~I'm a mini-monstrosity~
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Old 04-02-2017, 04:14 AM   #4
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Taure's post in "Today, everyone is Taure" thread is the best one I think. It got a laugh out of me.
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Old 04-02-2017, 04:23 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Majube View Post
Can't remember which shitpost thread exactly this was from so just backing up Nazgus' quote of someone else's quote.
Its from TOMD.

Originally Posted by BTT View Post
We are Anonymous. We do not forgive. We do occasionally forget who we are.
“Besides, it’s so much easier for people to follow a handsome man. It’s made pacification an almost pleasant experience.” -Tom Riddle, The Magnate

Halt's Archive Project: Other Fandom Almost Recommended | RWBY Features | Worm Features
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Old 04-02-2017, 06:00 AM   #6
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Honestly, I got a laugh out of that one thread that claimed I masturbate to Ron because of how I defend him so much. But alas, it seems that one was outright deleted.
Ronald Bilius Weasley is the best character in the Harry Potter Universe. You can quote me on that.
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Old 04-02-2017, 11:23 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by TheTycat View Post
Never bend to populist rhetoric.
After continual goading from people on Reddit, I've decided to finish The One He Feared.

It fills my body and soul with relief and joy to see that Taure's moral code is so unshakable, disciplined, and resolute. My faith is not misplaced.
10/10 for TheTycat, in the Taure (archive) thread.
"Trembling, she left the chamber with Anthony Goldstein, Gregory Goyle and Daphne Greengrass." ~ Most important sentence in Harry Potter.

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Old 04-03-2017, 01:25 PM   #8
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Best post of the holiday: Tsar's post in Taure's Archive thread.

Originally Posted by Tsar View Post
I've adjusted the file in the opening post to remove Alexandra Potter. That story was a mistake on so many different levels that the only recourse is absolute deletion. It cannot be fixed, it is broken on a fundamental level that simple a rewrite cannot undo. Attempting to fix structure, pacing, tone and characterization is completely pointless.

I should never have tried to bend my grand designs to fit the criticisms leveled at me when I was posting. The story suffered for it and I couldn't quite tell why. Never bend to populist rhetoric.

The rewrite is abandoned, the 27 chapters that were finished have been relegated to the trash.

Alexandra was an insufferable, unfixable cunt.

There is some good news, however. After continual goading from people on Reddit, I've decided to finish The One He Feared.

1. It freaked me out. I really enjoyed Alexandra Potter and this felt very real.

2. Taure has previously made (IIRC-- though it'd be hard to find those posts. Maybe it's false news/memories) arguments stating that authors are not obligated to leave copies of their fics for fans-- thus it felt quite realistic.
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the shitposting oscars

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