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Old 04-18-2006, 08:46 PM   #1
World
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A Play with me by World - T

Title: A Play with me
Author: World
Rating: K (?)
Pairings: None (any more)
Category: General (?)
Status: Abandoned
Summary: Every person has strings. But who is holding whoms?

Link

While thinking about what to write I somehow got the idea to write a Harry Potter story in Shakesperean style. I was hoping you could give some comments about how you liked the style (since the scene is so short, the story is rather unimportant for now). The current beta count is zero, so I hope you can forgive some errors and/or point them out to me.


Checked by Minion, July 27, 2013

Last edited by Dark Minion; 07-27-2013 at 03:51 PM.
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Old 04-18-2006, 09:08 PM   #2
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::blinks::

That...was brilliance. I don't think I've ever seen something like this done before. Nicely done, I am looking forward to seeing some more of this. It actually makes me think....good job.
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Old 04-18-2006, 09:25 PM   #3
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Wow. I honestly enjoyed that. You wrote something that made my inner theatre kid squee. Which hasn't happened for a couple of months now. It was brilliant.
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Old 04-19-2006, 01:04 AM   #4
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I didnt get it. I just dont understand that stuff.
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Old 04-19-2006, 02:09 AM   #5
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Wow, very, very good.
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Old 04-19-2006, 02:59 PM   #6
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Wow, all this nice critcism (thanks, btw) made me churn out the next scene. I am, however, a bit unsure about it, so please tell me if the style fits the first scene. At least there is a sonnet included.

tridentwatch: I was thinking about maybe writing a normal story that encompasses the plot of this play, but I'm not sure. Same about a commented version that explains certain things. If you really want, I could send you an explanation for the scene(s), but I'd rather not.
Thoughts about that, anyone?
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Old 04-19-2006, 03:02 PM   #7
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Wow, this is an amazing work of art, keep at it.
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Old 04-19-2006, 04:36 PM   #8
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I really enjoyed reading this. It's a great piece of writing. I've not seen this done before, and to be honest I don't think many people could do it so well. Please continue, I look forward to reading more.
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Old 04-19-2006, 11:16 PM   #9
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Again, that was amazing. It's truly well done and I enjoy reading it. I liked that it was Ron planning to help him out. Good job.
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Things Not to Do at Hogwarts:
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
Fan Fiction- for those days when Valium doesn’t cut it
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Old 04-20-2006, 10:41 PM   #10
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Again, due to all the praise heaped upon me, the next scene has emerged. 350 words I'm contend with, other than the 1000 words I have of scene 4 which I'm unsure about because it has become more of a rhyme-orgy than anything else. i'm not quite sure what to do about it, maybe I'll just post it as it is and let you be the judge.

But for now, I hope scene III is to your satisfaction
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:19 PM   #11
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Another good chapter. That minister is a bastard. I like it.
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Things Not to Do at Hogwarts:
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
Fan Fiction- for those days when Valium doesn’t cut it
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Old 04-21-2006, 01:24 AM   #12
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Very nice, keep up the good work. Again, just excellent.
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Old 04-21-2006, 11:31 PM   #13
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I like this, are you planning on posting this on www.fanfiction.net ?
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Old 04-22-2006, 06:54 AM   #14
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I have already started actually, I'm now in the process of upping ch. 2
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Old 04-25-2006, 04:38 PM   #15
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Since I'm currently busy with exams I've decided to post this version of scene IV which I do not plan on using. But since it's already been written, I'd like to know what you think about it in contrast to the other scenes.
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Old 04-25-2006, 05:33 PM   #16
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I have to say, this is a wonderful mastery of the iambic pentameter.


I read this whole thing aloud with a British accent it was so good!

I can't wait for the next scene!
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Old 04-25-2006, 05:46 PM   #17
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So you would prefer this style over the other?
As a contrast, these will most probably be the first lines of the new scene IV, notably without any rhymes;
Quote:
What joyous face they do present
And happy news is what they hear
Their saviour’s out, and free again
To care for what their inner’st feelings ills
For all they show of unconcern
Their core is fraught with trepidation
Of all the monsters now unleashed
By the serpent’s heir is worst
Suspicion and distrustfulness
That brother versus brother shows
And pits to fight for life and limb.
This question goes to all others as well
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Old 04-25-2006, 07:53 PM   #18
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my german friend you have a penchant for the artistic. JK may be rolling over in her sleep but shakespeare is certainly pleased, as am i. first peice of truly origional fiction ive seen in a while now.
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Old 04-25-2006, 11:26 PM   #19
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Again, I must say that I really enjoy this, it's truly an original.
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Things Not to Do at Hogwarts:
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
Fan Fiction- for those days when Valium doesn’t cut it
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Old 04-30-2006, 10:05 AM   #20
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Since you seemed to like the fourth scene, I've decided to keep it. I've written the closing lines for it and added them to the scene (the last 16 lines).

On a side note, I hate my computer. Because of a faulty power cord for a hdd, I've fucked up two of my three hds, loosing about 300 gig of data. Including the backups I made on one of those disks.

Thus, all hail data recovery programs, giving me back my scene overview, pretty much the second most important of all data that I lost. (But don't hail that much, much of it is scambled and many things unusable. But it's better than nothing.)

So, now with 300 gig of entertainment value (and storage space ) less, I guess I'll get back to writing soon.
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Last edited by World; 05-06-2006 at 07:39 PM.
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