Young Again: The Rewrite by Taliath - T

nonjon · 04-25-2006, 01:31 PM

Title: Young Again: The Rewrite
Author: Taliath
Rating: T
Genre: General/Action/Adventure
Pairing: Undeclared (maybe Harry/Luna and unlikely slash according to A/Ns)
Summary: PostHBP. When all hope seems lost and everybody is dead, Harry transports his soul into the body of his one year old self. This time, he's going to try and set things right.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2894304/1/

Only a prologue and two chapters so far (but a lot of reviews). Another Harry gets sent back into his young body stories. Good start. Minerva goes with him, which is helpful since Harry's one and pretty useless at the moment. For those unfamiliar, this author started a number of fics and abandoned them, so now Taliath is back taking over someone elses fic and rewriting it from the start.

Very good author (The Rise of Chaos, Blink, The Veil and Beyond were all written by Taliath, occasionally under the name "Allizarin Sylvain Phyre"), but time will tell if Taliath actually keeps up this initial update schedule and can knock out the fic.

The original "Young Again" written by Muhjaa-ness is found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2736058/1/

ip82 · 04-25-2006, 04:10 PM

Wow, this was written by Allizarin Sylvain Phyre? If I knew that, I'd have posted it as soon as I saw it few days ago (I was waiting another chapter)...

As for the story itself, it seems great for now. It's rare thing to see such cool character of McGonagall. Manipulative Dumbledore has lots of potential too.

nonjon · 04-25-2006, 04:38 PM

Yup. Same person. I read the 'original' by Muhjaa-ness and goodness. The difference between a skilled competent writer and someone with a good idea but lacking the patience and discipline becomes glaringly obvious. I know which side of the spectrum my so-called "style" would fall closer towards, but seeing the two and being able to compare makes the improvement stand out so much more.

Ner0 · 04-25-2006, 05:18 PM

The start is not bad, want to see more of it, before i make a decision

04-26-2006, 05:15 AM

I was reading the story this one was based off of. Little warning about slash would have been nice.

Remus asked if him and Sirius were married in the future. Yuck!

Nothing ruins a good story faster than slash. If you are into that kind of thing, no big deal. I'm not. Please put a warning. Just one word. Thats all I ask.

I don't know if the new author is going to make this rewrite slash. I hope not. It has loads of potential.

Promios · 04-26-2006, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonjon

(maybe Harry/Luna and unlikely slash according to A/Ns)

There you have it.

razz · 04-26-2006, 11:13 AM

I really liked this. Thought the Dumbledore bashing was a bit much though, especially at the beginning of chapter three. Still, looks to be a great fic.

nonjon · 04-26-2006, 11:24 AM

Ahh... forgot about that.

Not sure this rewrite will be going the same way, but I was only referring to the main Harry pairing. I think the original author was even going to make it HP/FFUPoT (that's Ferret-Face Useless Piece of Twat if you're wondering, or what Draco's mum calls him), but the rewriter doubted they'd include slash. It's possible this rewrite still might, but for some reason turning Remus and Sirius into a couple, well, it makes the "Post-HBP" claim on the rewrite a bit trickier, but I never even registered it as slash in my head. Only if an author perverts and dirties Harry does it register as slash to me. Although graphic descriptions of tearing or bleeding will do that too. But in my mind everyone but Harry can be as bent as a man who eats 100-calorie snack packs. I just like a hero who won't spend eternity burning in the lake of fire. All the side characters could use a touch more sin in their lives. I'll try and remember my view of slash differs from most. Though in fairness, I never recommended even looking at the original. For some it could ruin aspects of the rewrite.

04-26-2006, 04:51 PM

Love how McGonagall was written. I like that the story continues with harry being so young as all other stories when harry's soul is merged with his past soul so is it merged when he is young and then the story just jumps forward several years. It is amusing to see harry try to function as a teenager in the body of a baby.

**tridentwatch** · 04-26-2006, 09:27 PM

Allizarin Sylvain Phyre? Who is he? Care to e-la-bo-rate?

Avitus · 04-26-2006, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tridentwatch

Allizarin Sylvain Phyre? Who is he? Care to e-la-bo-rate?

Our Lord, Allizarin Sylvain Phyre is the author of the single best Dark Harry fic i've ever read, its now been lost to the black hole of abandonment but remains within the heart of every veteran DLP'er.

*bows in respect to Lord Allizarin Sylvain Phyre*

liath · 04-30-2006, 09:07 AM

Umm.... wow... I really don't know what to say....

I never knew my old fic, The Rise of Chaos, was so well-known.

I lost interest in it when it seemed to garner no attention at all.

Well.... thanks?

lol...

Anyway, thanks for reccing my new fic!

~liath

nonjon · 04-30-2006, 11:46 AM

Are you kidding? A nice bad-ass take control Harry? A massive battle and some cool magic pooling where Harry slaughters many, saves many, and shows himself to be his own man? Over 100K words? I didn't even mind the Hermione romance-ish moments. But you had the core magic, the politics, the right attitude, the whole setting for a massive war, and future rebuilding effort all lined up. Twas an excellent fic. Sometimes it just takes time to find an audience.

Though I may have been even more intrigued by "Blink," especially with your descriptive style.

Either way you lose a lot of those bonus points I give you when you abandon the fics. And then take them down too. Of course then you'd hear people wanting you to continue them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite glad to see you writing again. Especially with a fic that's already got an impressive audience. I'm just curious once you hit an 'average' chapter just moving the plot along where you may not even get half as many reviews as the chapter previous, if that will deter you in your writing? I know the feedback fuels you, but I fear what cutoff point will make you lose interest, that's all.

liath · 04-30-2006, 11:49 AM

I know what you mean. It is a fear that kept me from writing for over a year now. It was only when the old writer abandoned this fic that I'm trying once again....

I'll try. I'll try. That's really all I can say. I'll try.

Besides, I was thirteen when I started writing Rise of Chaos. Turned fourteen when I lost interest. Now I hope I've gotten older and am more firm in my convictions. I think I can do this.

liath · 04-30-2006, 11:46 PM

Posted the next part of the chapter. The first part. Yeah, it was just too long to be one chapter.

I'll be posting the second part tomorrow, once I'm done and brushed it up a bit.

Niffler Lord · 05-01-2006, 02:35 AM

Where do you post your other stories. Your LJ refers to Fragments of the soul but I can't find it.

razz · 05-01-2006, 04:11 AM

Excellent chapter (4). Very nicely set everything up. And the part with Harry chewing on Sirius and Remus was just hilarious.

Teal_Thanatos · 05-01-2006, 04:50 AM

*has liaths msn, beta-ing, will promise to harass for more if its not posted*

liath · 05-01-2006, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niffler Lord

Where do you post your other stories. Your LJ refers to Fragments of the soul but I can't find it.

Fragment of a Soul is the title for the third chapter of Young Again, which is the only story I'm currently working on. ^^

ChuckDaTruck · 05-01-2006, 04:22 PM

Great!

I just wish you'd speed things up a bit since only a day has passed.

Also, Severus should have interrogated Peter, THEN left to inform the Dark Lord so he could maintain his cover with both, and the Dark Lord would be suspicious otherwise.

Regarding Snape, you have to show how he was redeemed for DUmbledore's death. I don't doubt that he was, and right now I'm uncertain of his loyalties in canon, but you've got to show HOW he convinced everyone. I guess Albus planned to inform Azkaban Pettigrew was an Animagus so that they could take that into consideration during Security?

Albus's manipulations. What are they? The thing with Peter felt a little contrived when he escaped, but interesting. Maybe Snape will be killed, and you'll go REALLY different from canon rather than retreading the books.

I thought Harry was a little to advanced for his age.

Minerva is great, and I like your characterization of her.

I REALLY hope you don't go with Harry/Ginny or Hermione this time. Harry's different and maybe he can't connect as well with them. I would definitely like to see him get different friends or be different from Canon. Afterall, he couldn't be anymore different than.

Lastly, Harry's power levels again. Why is he so knowledgeable? According to your time line, he's only been out of school a year! Its been two since Albus died, so he REALLY shouldn't be as knowledgeable as Minerva. Occlumency, good fighter, and that's it. Frankly, being a metamorph struck me as giving him too much power.

I would love to see Remus, Sirius, and James bite it during Voldemort's attack. Snape too. Then we could have a REAL power struggle within the order with out an Ace like Snape clearly on Albus's side. Could you imagine the internal fighting and drama that could occur when Minerva begins to assert herself? Her and Albus going at it would be great. Lily, the single mother, would be cool, and I don't believe I've seen it. Plus, it makes things interesting later during 7th Year. James could die for Harry instead for "Blood Protection" if its really needed. Frankly I always thought that bit was hokey though, and lazy idealistic writing by JK. She doesn't even go into how its done, its just "Mother's Love" and that's it. Pretty lazy, and unexplained how it works.

Again, NO Harry/Ginny. Maybe Ginny will be different in your story, but as Canon? No way. I like Luna, someone who views the world with more detachment, as a match for Harry, but that's just me.

DO you have ideas where you're going to go during Hogwarts? I also thought the Metamorph thing was a little over the top. And Voldemort knows that Harry's a metamorph now, doesn't he, since Peter knows, and Voldemort's controlling Peter.

Anyway, UPDATE SOON!!

P.S. I can be found at DarkLordPotter.net

P.P.S. I posted this exact message in review at fanfiction.

I usually don't bother to review there though. Just wanted to introduce myself.

WELCOME, AND HAVE FUN!!!

04-25-2006, 01:31 PM	#1
nonjon Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,137	Young Again: The Rewrite by Taliath - T Title: Young Again: The Rewrite Author: Taliath Rating: T Genre: General/Action/Adventure Pairing: Undeclared (maybe Harry/Luna and unlikely slash according to A/Ns) Summary: PostHBP. When all hope seems lost and everybody is dead, Harry transports his soul into the body of his one year old self. This time, he's going to try and set things right. Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2894304/1/ Only a prologue and two chapters so far (but a lot of reviews). Another Harry gets sent back into his young body stories. Good start. Minerva goes with him, which is helpful since Harry's one and pretty useless at the moment. For those unfamiliar, this author started a number of fics and abandoned them, so now Taliath is back taking over someone elses fic and rewriting it from the start. Very good author (The Rise of Chaos, Blink, The Veil and Beyond were all written by Taliath, occasionally under the name "Allizarin Sylvain Phyre"), but time will tell if Taliath actually keeps up this initial update schedule and can knock out the fic. The original "Young Again" written by Muhjaa-ness is found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2736058/1/ __________________ yahoogroup :: fanfiction.net :: super-manning Ron’s penis jumped into the conversation. “And all of uz pale in comparizzon to ze power of ze anuzz.” The three boys were hesitant to offer their support. Ron’s penis belatedly amended, “Perhaps zeez iz a Français thing.” - Two Heads Are Better Than One

04-25-2006, 04:10 PM	#2
ip82 God of Magic Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 2,918	Wow, this was written by Allizarin Sylvain Phyre? If I knew that, I'd have posted it as soon as I saw it few days ago (I was waiting another chapter)... As for the story itself, it seems great for now. It's rare thing to see such cool character of McGonagall. Manipulative Dumbledore has lots of potential too. __________________ IP82 stories: Potter's Resistance 1: Breaking Ties -> DLP Thread Yin and Yang -> DLP Thread Ficwad Profile \|\| HP Recycle Bin \|\| Crap filter C2 Rule no. 1 - You do not talk about Alpha Fight Club...

04-25-2006, 04:38 PM	#3
nonjon Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,137	Yup. Same person. I read the 'original' by Muhjaa-ness and goodness. The difference between a skilled competent writer and someone with a good idea but lacking the patience and discipline becomes glaringly obvious. I know which side of the spectrum my so-called "style" would fall closer towards, but seeing the two and being able to compare makes the improvement stand out so much more. __________________ yahoogroup :: fanfiction.net :: super-manning Ron’s penis jumped into the conversation. “And all of uz pale in comparizzon to ze power of ze anuzz.” The three boys were hesitant to offer their support. Ron’s penis belatedly amended, “Perhaps zeez iz a Français thing.” - Two Heads Are Better Than One

04-25-2006, 05:18 PM	#4
Ner0 Denarii Host Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Germany Gender: Male Posts: 141	The start is not bad, want to see more of it, before i make a decision __________________

04-26-2006, 05:15 AM	#5
Shreve Guest Posts: n/a	warning I was reading the story this one was based off of. Little warning about slash would have been nice. Remus asked if him and Sirius were married in the future. Yuck! Nothing ruins a good story faster than slash. If you are into that kind of thing, no big deal. I'm not. Please put a warning. Just one word. Thats all I ask. I don't know if the new author is going to make this rewrite slash. I hope not. It has loads of potential.

04-26-2006, 11:13 AM	#7
razz Sixth Year Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Melbourne Age: 21 Gender: Female Posts: 222	I really liked this. Thought the Dumbledore bashing was a bit much though, especially at the beginning of chapter three. Still, looks to be a great fic.

04-26-2006, 11:24 AM	#8
nonjon Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,137	Ahh... forgot about that. Not sure this rewrite will be going the same way, but I was only referring to the main Harry pairing. I think the original author was even going to make it HP/FFUPoT (that's Ferret-Face Useless Piece of Twat if you're wondering, or what Draco's mum calls him), but the rewriter doubted they'd include slash. It's possible this rewrite still might, but for some reason turning Remus and Sirius into a couple, well, it makes the "Post-HBP" claim on the rewrite a bit trickier, but I never even registered it as slash in my head. Only if an author perverts and dirties Harry does it register as slash to me. Although graphic descriptions of tearing or bleeding will do that too. But in my mind everyone but Harry can be as bent as a man who eats 100-calorie snack packs. I just like a hero who won't spend eternity burning in the lake of fire. All the side characters could use a touch more sin in their lives. I'll try and remember my view of slash differs from most. Though in fairness, I never recommended even looking at the original. For some it could ruin aspects of the rewrite. __________________ yahoogroup :: fanfiction.net :: super-manning Ron’s penis jumped into the conversation. “And all of uz pale in comparizzon to ze power of ze anuzz.” The three boys were hesitant to offer their support. Ron’s penis belatedly amended, “Perhaps zeez iz a Français thing.” - Two Heads Are Better Than One

04-26-2006, 04:51 PM	#9
Patrik f Guest Posts: n/a	Love how McGonagall was written. I like that the story continues with harry being so young as all other stories when harry's soul is merged with his past soul so is it merged when he is young and then the story just jumps forward several years. It is amusing to see harry try to function as a teenager in the body of a baby.

04-26-2006, 09:27 PM	#10
tridentwatch Fixed Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Canada, Toronto Posts: 155	Allizarin Sylvain Phyre? Who is he? Care to e-la-bo-rate?

04-30-2006, 09:07 AM	#12
liath DA Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Korea Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 249	Umm.... wow... I really don't know what to say.... I never knew my old fic, The Rise of Chaos, was so well-known. I lost interest in it when it seemed to garner no attention at all. Well.... thanks? lol... Anyway, thanks for reccing my new fic! ~liath

04-30-2006, 11:46 AM	#13
nonjon Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,137	Are you kidding? A nice bad-ass take control Harry? A massive battle and some cool magic pooling where Harry slaughters many, saves many, and shows himself to be his own man? Over 100K words? I didn't even mind the Hermione romance-ish moments. But you had the core magic, the politics, the right attitude, the whole setting for a massive war, and future rebuilding effort all lined up. Twas an excellent fic. Sometimes it just takes time to find an audience. Though I may have been even more intrigued by "Blink," especially with your descriptive style. Either way you lose a lot of those bonus points I give you when you abandon the fics. And then take them down too. Of course then you'd hear people wanting you to continue them. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite glad to see you writing again. Especially with a fic that's already got an impressive audience. I'm just curious once you hit an 'average' chapter just moving the plot along where you may not even get half as many reviews as the chapter previous, if that will deter you in your writing? I know the feedback fuels you, but I fear what cutoff point will make you lose interest, that's all. __________________ yahoogroup :: fanfiction.net :: super-manning Ron’s penis jumped into the conversation. “And all of uz pale in comparizzon to ze power of ze anuzz.” The three boys were hesitant to offer their support. Ron’s penis belatedly amended, “Perhaps zeez iz a Français thing.” - Two Heads Are Better Than One

04-30-2006, 11:49 AM	#14
liath DA Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Korea Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 249	I know what you mean. It is a fear that kept me from writing for over a year now. It was only when the old writer abandoned this fic that I'm trying once again.... I'll try. I'll try. That's really all I can say. I'll try. Besides, I was thirteen when I started writing Rise of Chaos. Turned fourteen when I lost interest. Now I hope I've gotten older and am more firm in my convictions. I think I can do this.

04-30-2006, 11:46 PM	#15
liath DA Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Korea Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 249	Posted the next part of the chapter. The first part. Yeah, it was just too long to be one chapter. I'll be posting the second part tomorrow, once I'm done and brushed it up a bit.

05-01-2006, 02:35 AM	#16
Niffler Lord Dark Lord Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Sri Lanka Age: 74 Gender: Male Posts: 1,129	Where do you post your other stories. Your LJ refers to Fragments of the soul but I can't find it. __________________ Sirius looks skeptical. “If you’re having one on me, Harry, this isn’t a funny joke.” “If I was having one on I’d tell you I have Lily’s memories and now I’m gender confused.” The Lie I've Lived by Jbern

05-01-2006, 04:11 AM	#17
razz Sixth Year Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Melbourne Age: 21 Gender: Female Posts: 222	Excellent chapter (4). Very nicely set everything up. And the part with Harry chewing on Sirius and Remus was just hilarious.

05-01-2006, 04:50 AM	#18
Teal_Thanatos Squib Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 46	has liaths msn, beta-ing, will promise to harass for more if its not posted

05-01-2006, 04:22 PM	#20
ChuckDaTruck Overlord Join Date: May 2005 Location: Inside YOUR closet. Go check. Age: 10 Gender: Male Posts: 1,762	Great! I just wish you'd speed things up a bit since only a day has passed. Also, Severus should have interrogated Peter, THEN left to inform the Dark Lord so he could maintain his cover with both, and the Dark Lord would be suspicious otherwise. Regarding Snape, you have to show how he was redeemed for DUmbledore's death. I don't doubt that he was, and right now I'm uncertain of his loyalties in canon, but you've got to show HOW he convinced everyone. I guess Albus planned to inform Azkaban Pettigrew was an Animagus so that they could take that into consideration during Security? Albus's manipulations. What are they? The thing with Peter felt a little contrived when he escaped, but interesting. Maybe Snape will be killed, and you'll go REALLY different from canon rather than retreading the books. I thought Harry was a little to advanced for his age. Minerva is great, and I like your characterization of her. I REALLY hope you don't go with Harry/Ginny or Hermione this time. Harry's different and maybe he can't connect as well with them. I would definitely like to see him get different friends or be different from Canon. Afterall, he couldn't be anymore different than. Lastly, Harry's power levels again. Why is he so knowledgeable? According to your time line, he's only been out of school a year! Its been two since Albus died, so he REALLY shouldn't be as knowledgeable as Minerva. Occlumency, good fighter, and that's it. Frankly, being a metamorph struck me as giving him too much power. I would love to see Remus, Sirius, and James bite it during Voldemort's attack. Snape too. Then we could have a REAL power struggle within the order with out an Ace like Snape clearly on Albus's side. Could you imagine the internal fighting and drama that could occur when Minerva begins to assert herself? Her and Albus going at it would be great. Lily, the single mother, would be cool, and I don't believe I've seen it. Plus, it makes things interesting later during 7th Year. James could die for Harry instead for "Blood Protection" if its really needed. Frankly I always thought that bit was hokey though, and lazy idealistic writing by JK. She doesn't even go into how its done, its just "Mother's Love" and that's it. Pretty lazy, and unexplained how it works. Again, NO Harry/Ginny. Maybe Ginny will be different in your story, but as Canon? No way. I like Luna, someone who views the world with more detachment, as a match for Harry, but that's just me. DO you have ideas where you're going to go during Hogwarts? I also thought the Metamorph thing was a little over the top. And Voldemort knows that Harry's a metamorph now, doesn't he, since Peter knows, and Voldemort's controlling Peter. Anyway, UPDATE SOON!! P.S. I can be found at DarkLordPotter.net P.P.S. I posted this exact message in review at fanfiction. I usually don't bother to review there though. Just wanted to introduce myself. WELCOME, AND HAVE FUN!!! __________________ And the Salmon declared, "How would you feel if we ate YOUR caviar, human?!" Everyone likes the way their own farts smell. "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife. "Hey, Now" - Howard Stern

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