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Shadow of Azkaban by IndoGhost -T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by IndoGhost, May 17, 2006.

2.4000000953674/5, 5 votes
  1. IndoGhost

    IndoGhost Dark Lord

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    May 17, 2006 #1
    Title: Shadow of Azkaban
    Link:Shadow Of Azkaban (DLP)
    Fiction Rated: T
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    Pairing: none....yet
    Status: WiP
    Summary: Harry goes to azkaban. Harry gets out somehow. Harry gets a new life all thats left is taking care of loose ends from the past...as in killing a few people...he just has to figure out how.

    Its been here for a while...so I decided to make one of these...hehe :D
     
  2. Patrik f

    Patrik f Guest

    May 17, 2006 #2
    The first thing that pops out is some of the spelling, like the Dersely. Also brake instead of break. There are a few other spelling errors but I wont list them. Other then that so does it seam to be an interesting story but it is a bit to early to tell...
     
  3. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    May 18, 2006 #3
    Fixed that for you.
     
  4. doc_gerbil

    doc_gerbil Sixth Year

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    May 19, 2006 #4
    it was good for a first chapter. but i am watching vanilla sky so i cannot say more.
     
  5. IndoGhost

    IndoGhost Dark Lord

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    May 19, 2006 #5
    ...it up to ch 7... I'm working on ch8 now
     
  6. Lord Dragon

    Lord Dragon DA Member

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    Jul 10, 2006 #6
    I like this story keep up the good work. Matter of fact i like most azkaban Storeys yours is in the top ten at least.
     
  7. Dragon Watcher

    Dragon Watcher Third Year

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    Jul 21, 2006 #7
    I agree on the top ten Azkaban stories but, a lot of the Azkaban stories I have read are bad and only a select few (relatively speaking) are good.
     
  8. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

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    Jul 21, 2006 #8
    Personally, I disliked it, mainly from the noticable amount of spelling mistakes and short chapters. I know that I'm not the best at grammar, but I try to get the right words.

    My main beef is against the mass of description which gets irritating to read through, that and I'm a Grammar Nazi and some of your sentences just made me get annoyed.

    Keep working on it though, I'm just one of a few who dislike your story, I think the majority likes it though.
     
  9. jaspernoone

    jaspernoone First Year

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    Sep 9, 2006 #9
    over all, a very good story, but the only complaint or advice i can give anyone with a well written story like yours, is to proof read it at least once...that way everyones happy
     
  10. IndoGhost

    IndoGhost Dark Lord

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    Jan 16, 2008 #10
    Updated. My muse still fly in a unpredictable way. But don't worry I want to finish this fic regardless of how long it takes. With that said, read the new chapter and review.
     
  11. Flaylda

    Flaylda Second Year

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    Jan 18, 2008 #11
    Grammar and spelling errors are everywhere.
    You wrote 'Dersely' instead of 'Dursley'. And many other mistakes...
    If you want to improve your fic, fix those first.