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Old 07-09-2006, 03:23 PM   #1
Jheph
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All at Once by Aurilia - T

Title: All at Once
Author: Aurilia
Rating: T
Genre: General
Category: The Alternate's
Pairing: none so far, but looks like HP/HG IMO
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: AU. Harry didn't go to Hogwarts, he went to Stonewall Secondary. His main goal in life was to leave the Dursleys' and go to college, until Remus Lupin finds him on his seventeenth birthday and his life changes all at once.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2917903/1/

===================

The author seems to have a taste in SLASH, so there is a possibility that the fic will go to the trash bin if the author decides to her usual route.

So far the fic is good; I can't give my opinion on grammar/spelling for my English grammar is below average. The story seems polish enough and the OCs are okay.

So, let the raping, I mean reviewing begin...
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Old 07-09-2006, 03:54 PM   #2
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I haven't read too far into the story. But doesn't it seem kind of stupid that Dumbledore went through a lot of trouble to get Harry to Hogwarts like sending hundreds probably thousands of owls, having the overgrown oaf.....er Hagrid track him down break and enter, destroy property (rifle) and then just give up when Petunia just utters one sentence?
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Old 07-09-2006, 03:59 PM   #3
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The initial premise of this story was rather stupid; I mean, Dursleys REFUSE to send Harry to Hogwarts and Dumbledore is like "Ah well, shit happens".

That said, I rather liked Harry's character, the way he was motivated, relatively non-bitching and proactive (which is a rare thing for HP's character). The possibility of him using muggle means (science) to fight Death Eaters or invent some new magical stuff seemed rather interesting to me, which is why I chose to overlook this unrealistic plot and give it a shot.

Unfortunately, even this vague appeal "All at Once" had at first, completely dissapeared after few chapters of mindnumbingly boring and ultimately meaningles filler material. I mean, the description of Harry decorating his new room was even longer than Rosswrock's shopping trip, and twice as boring too! And of course, there's that boring family-is-important stuff, with Harry all of a sudden finding a surogate family and then bonding with them (read: mushy bullshit).

But what burries this fic for me is basically stated in its title - all at once. Simply said, it feels as if Harry was sleeping for 16 years, and then suddenly he awakes and does EVERYTHING in a week - finds out about magic, meets Remus, meets Hermione, finds a surrogate family, gets emancipation etc... Even cramming 6 years of magical education would be too much for anyone - the whole adoption, family and romance thing on top of it was completely needless and stupid IMO.

2/5
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Old 07-09-2006, 04:24 PM   #4
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I tried ..........I really tried to go beyond chapter 3. But the story is destroying brain cells so i am giving up.
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Old 07-09-2006, 05:03 PM   #5
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I acually enjoy this story, of course I enjoyed it more before Harry got some new family and moves in with them despite being emancipated and owning several homes and have quite a bit of money. Also what takes 5 years to all other students takes like 6 months at most for harry to learn.
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“Actually, I suppose you’re no better because you sound like some sort of mold that could destroy houses and disease small children,” the boy snorted from his place on the floor, “Voldemrot… ‘I’m sorry,’” the boy mocked in a deep voice, “‘but you have The-Rot-That-Must-Not-Be-Named in your basement.’”

-lunakatrina's So Sue Me
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3003214/1/
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Old 07-09-2006, 05:06 PM   #6
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You know Lord Apophis that is quite a way of saying "I hate this fic"
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Humanity is infinite...........Stupidity is infinite...........Go figure.
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Old 07-09-2006, 05:10 PM   #7
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I enjoyed it, the reason for the quick learning, is he has really good motivation.

And at least there was a nice original reason for him not going to Hogwarts, and it wasn't jsut that Dumbledore says "aw shit happens", its that his legal guardian refused to allow his admission, and there was no way round that law.

And as for why he was staying with the other family when he owned so many homes, was that A) He wanted to stay close to his school, so he could finish his studies there without interuption, B) He was close with the family, and they offered to let him stay. What orphan who's only family hated them, wouldn't jump at the chance of staying with a family who loved him or felt something damn near it for him.

Another thing I like about this fic is the explanation as to why Harry is sorted as being a Hufflepuff. Its highly original and nicely accurate for her representation of Harry.

The fic also has a nice and interesting plot line of mixing magic and muggle things. I believe Harry is already plotting to reveal magic to the muggle world, via a company he would run, in such a way that he would make a lot of profit from it.

Added to that the fast updates and good writing style, I think its well worth it.
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Old 07-09-2006, 05:35 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nixworld
You know Lord Apophis that is quite a way of saying "I hate this fic"
I dident mean to come across as hating it, I consider the points I made to be minor points that could make the story better if they were changed. It is still a great story...
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“Actually, I suppose you’re no better because you sound like some sort of mold that could destroy houses and disease small children,” the boy snorted from his place on the floor, “Voldemrot… ‘I’m sorry,’” the boy mocked in a deep voice, “‘but you have The-Rot-That-Must-Not-Be-Named in your basement.’”

-lunakatrina's So Sue Me
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3003214/1/
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Old 07-09-2006, 05:46 PM   #9
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Quote:
I enjoyed it, the reason for the quick learning, is he has really good motivation.

And at least there was a nice original reason for him not going to Hogwarts, and it wasn't jsut that Dumbledore says "aw shit happens", its that his legal guardian refused to allow his admission, and there was no way round that law.
Dumbledore is a leader of an illegal vigilante army whose goal is to fight Voldemort. Harry is a key player in that fight. Would he really let Petunia decide his destiny? What's stopping him from just Oblivating her and Vernon, for the greater good? What, would Petunia somehow find the MOM, go through muggle-repelling wards and file a complaint?

Quote:
And as for why he was staying with the other family when he owned so many homes, was that A) He wanted to stay close to his school, so he could finish his studies there without interuption, B) He was close with the family, and they offered to let him stay. What orphan who's only family hated them, wouldn't jump at the chance of staying with a family who loved him or felt something damn near it for him.
I didn't mind that... ok I did. I hate this mushy bullshit. Not to mention that it's completely out of place now when Harry's puberty is kicking in; He should be seeking independence rather than family. If he was 10, 11 etc, that would work; Any 16, 17 year old teen would chose his own home rather than living in a room.

But anyway, even if we forget that, the point is that this whole family subplot was completely out of place and needless. Harry was working for that guy for years, he should have done that ages ago. Like this, it seems as if too many things are happuning at the same time... needlessly.
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Old 07-09-2006, 06:27 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ip82
Dumbledore is a leader of an illegal vigilante army whose goal is to fight Voldemort. Harry is a key player in that fight. Would he really let Petunia decide his destiny? What's stopping him from just Oblivating her and Vernon, for the greater good?
Hmm, perhaps the blood wards wouldn't work otherwise?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jheph
The author seems to have a taste in SLASH, so there is a possibility that the fic will go to the trash bin if the author decides to her usual route.
I vaguely remember reading somewhere that this one wasn't going to be slash or that there might only be something very minor in the background. I certainly wouldn't have started reading it she had declared it as a slash fic.
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Old 07-09-2006, 07:19 PM   #11
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I remember the author mentioning that they didn't plan to make the fic slash, which is why I am so positive about it.
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Old 07-09-2006, 07:52 PM   #12
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While I find many of the things in this story unrealistic, I enjoy quite a bit. It deserves to be in the Library not the Trash Bin. This story is above average compared to many of the fics at fanfiction.net. So I say let it into the library.

Grade:Pass
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Old 07-10-2006, 02:19 AM   #13
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It's not a bad story. Just dull. I mean there just wasn't anything to keep me reading it.
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Old 07-10-2006, 05:12 AM   #14
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It's a light read, nothing breathtaking but not bad either. Harry is intelligent and mature. To me it doesnt look like H/Hr. Aside from the rather unrealistic start, its well done. A lot of filler material but it looks as if it gets started soon. I think its just dragged out too long.

And there is the idea of electronics working with magic again. While I dont have anything against the idea in general, I dont like the simple transferance of muggle technology into the magical world. In my mind it should either be combined to make something completely new or not at all. There is Snape admiring a computer program, to me Harry Potter is about Magic, not about converting the magical world into a semi-technological one.

Overall an average story, it doesnt deserve the Bin.
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Old 07-10-2006, 06:17 PM   #15
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I liked this story, even if parts are a bit unrealistic. Learning 5 years of magic in 3 months, yeah right. I do however like Harry's character, he seems well balanced and pretty self confident. I like that there are no pairings so far in the story, and if there were, I'd prefer him to be with a muggle girl from school.
I can understand the issue with Dumbles "giving up" when Petunia denied Harry going to Hogwarts, but then again, the Dursleys were his legal guardians. I think in the long run, it has benefited Harry to stay in the muggle world up till now and I'm not so sure he'll be bullied into fully immerse himself with wizarding culture.

I find it interesting that people disregard the "mushy stuff" in the story, when ultimately family interaction plays a significant role on how we view the world and the people in it. Having the knowledge that there is someone who will always cover your back (without an ulterior motive), love you in spite of yourself, and defend you no matter what, goes a long way to boosting self confidence, and assuring an individuals place in the world.
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Old 07-16-2006, 02:20 PM   #16
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I tried reading this at first, it seemed like a kinda neat new idea. But then the author spams the reader with pages after pages after pages after pages of pointless rhetoric about how he is staying with his friends family, getting the car fixed and other stuff that has nothing to do with the story. I just couldn't get past that. Unrecommended in my opinion.

also i know this is off topic but I couldn't find anything about it... I was wondering why I have to press back twice to leave any of the pages. If anyone knows could they give me a message?
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Old 07-19-2006, 06:53 AM   #17
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I stopped reading it, it got really boring. And I don't like how every wizarding problem is solved with muggle methods. Harry doesn't even try to get to know the wizarding world. It doesnt feel like Harry Potter at all. There's hardly any magic in this fic. Bad form.
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