Moonshine Glories by hoshi-tachi - SG1 - T

MrINBN · 12-12-2006, 03:34 PM

Title: Moonshine Glories
Author: hoshi-tachi
Rating: T
Genre: Crossover
DLP Category: The Alternates
Pairing: None so far.
Status: WIP
Summary: Now that the Dark Lord has returned, the Order of the Phoenix must call in outside help to train their boy savior. Enter one officer used to dealing with the weird, Colonel Jack O'Neill...
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2962389/1/

It's a fairly short fic (at this moment) where Kinsey has shut down the SGC and Jack is back in retirement. Alastor Moody goes to General Blake (an OC) and requests the best Black Ops man in the business to train Harry Potter. Enter Jack O'Neill.

Amadan · 12-12-2006, 03:39 PM

It's ok but not the best around.
2.5/5

MrINBN · 12-12-2006, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amadan

It's ok but not the best around.
2.5/5

Did you even read the fic in its entirety? If not, why are you bothering to post a "review"? And I ask "in its entirety" because it's rather short at the moment. I'm sorry if this comes off as a little harsh, but I'm under a bit of stress at the moment.

**TheIllusiveOne** · 12-12-2006, 04:24 PM

Let me see if I have this right, in order to defeat Voldemort Harry is getting training from... a muggle?

Yeah, this really sucks, sorry. 1/5

Anarual · 12-12-2006, 07:14 PM

Just finished reading .... well it certainly is interesting , he can train harry in warfare , hand to hand tanctics and show him some dirty tricks , I like it . It's just.. hmmm
Your Grammar is good and the sentences are also ok , the only problem i see in this Fic are the Personalities , Jak O'neill is much more .. lets say cockier ( sorry if i wrote the word wrong ) He's much more blunt and straightforward . As for Harry , well this is a after GOF fic so he's a little retard , not as badly as in HBP but it looks like he's a little goody good griffindork.

Anarual · 12-12-2006, 07:15 PM

sorry for the grammar , I'm falling asleep on my keybord right now ..

Aekiel · 12-12-2006, 07:40 PM

Don't double post Anarual.

Seems like a good fic, caught my attention a while back and I liked it then. Keep updating and I'll keep reading.

Necrule Paen · 12-12-2006, 09:32 PM

This author is better than most at characterization, flow, and writing a story distinguishable from other fics. However, I find the plot lacking and has glaring plotholes.

3/5 at best.

The Dark Lord Squash · 12-12-2006, 09:49 PM

Its ok. So far there have been 7 chapters and really nothing has happened. The author writes a good Jack, but as I said nothing has really happened and the update rate is no spectacular. The biggest thing was Jack finding out that magic is real. The one thing that scares me is that the Author has written past stories that have contained SLASH, so I a little afraid that this could go down that dark road with no return. With no real action taking place it really is not that special. This could all change is several chapters but with relatively small chapter sizes and long updates I would not hold my breath.

3/5

Kung_lou · 12-12-2006, 11:32 PM

I like it, it flowed well and the only thing I found annoying were the short chapter lengths but then we are all guilty of that so I can hardly complain.

Nothing substantive has happed so far

A few issues/comments that I had

Jack is taking it rather well - far better than I imagined concidering his reluctance to join the SGC after his initial retirement, the bad political blood of the closure of the SGC (considering how important he felt it was and his loyalty to the program) and the involvement of a kid in a shooting war, he still has not gotten over the death of his son.

With his contacts in the military and around the world that he implies throughout SG1 - I can see this going turning out well. A good and non cleched HP/SG1 idea.

The location of Teal'c is also and issue. NID wanted to disect him, if the SGC program was shut down where is he. Jack would nver abandon a member of his team and engage in another project unless this was resolved.

The Statute of secracy is the foundation of wizarding culture and has been for hundreds of years - something not easily broken and if found out the punishment is severe. As it stands this seems to easy, the issue side stepped and needs to be addressed.

I have some doubt that if Jack was considered expert enough to train harry in Military doctrine, then he would have been left in the dark for so long. They would want to debreif him, even in the vaguest terms, before even getting Harry.

3/5 Could go either way depending on future direction

huntedorange · 12-14-2006, 01:21 PM

Pretty good but not great and i agree with above that jack seems to take it very very well, even if he has seen some amazing things because of the stargate. 3/5

Crazy1 · 12-14-2006, 04:07 PM

I like this fic, but it's not great. I don't really remember it and that's definitely not good. I'll rate when there's a few more chapters.

12-12-2006, 03:34 PM	#1
MrINBN Unspeakable Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Portland, OR Age: 25 Gender: Male Posts: 721	Moonshine Glories by hoshi-tachi - SG1 - T Title: Moonshine Glories Author: hoshi-tachi Rating: T Genre: Crossover DLP Category: The Alternates Pairing: None so far. Status: WIP Summary: Now that the Dark Lord has returned, the Order of the Phoenix must call in outside help to train their boy savior. Enter one officer used to dealing with the weird, Colonel Jack O'Neill... Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2962389/1/ It's a fairly short fic (at this moment) where Kinsey has shut down the SGC and Jack is back in retirement. Alastor Moody goes to General Blake (an OC) and requests the best Black Ops man in the business to train Harry Potter. Enter Jack O'Neill. __________________ Click the above banner for my steam profile

12-12-2006, 03:39 PM	#2
Amadan Second Year Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: England Gender: Male Posts: 78	It's ok but not the best around. 2.5/5 __________________ Sic Vita Est

12-12-2006, 09:49 PM	#9
The Dark Lord Squash Denarii Host Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Cardbord Box inside your closet Age: 22 Gender: Male Posts: 439	Its ok. So far there have been 7 chapters and really nothing has happened. The author writes a good Jack, but as I said nothing has really happened and the update rate is no spectacular. The biggest thing was Jack finding out that magic is real. The one thing that scares me is that the Author has written past stories that have contained SLASH, so I a little afraid that this could go down that dark road with no return. With no real action taking place it really is not that special. This could all change is several chapters but with relatively small chapter sizes and long updates I would not hold my breath. 3/5 __________________ .:.:. Where the Light is cruel and callous, Where it takes freedom and pride, There surge we Blackened Denarii with our Wings from Hell and our Dark Embrace. .:.:. Proud sheeptrooper of the Galactic Sheep Empire. Free Porn.... need I say more

12-14-2006, 01:21 PM	#11
huntedorange Seventh Year Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Highlands Age: 26 Gender: Male Posts: 269	Pretty good but not great and i agree with above that jack seems to take it very very well, even if he has seen some amazing things because of the stargate. 3/5 __________________ The Emperor's Jester Servant of Mordecai

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12-12-2006, 04:24 PM	#4
TheIllusiveOne Aborted Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Los Angeles Age: 24 Gender: Male Posts: 623	Let me see if I have this right, in order to defeat Voldemort Harry is getting training from... a muggle? Yeah, this really sucks, sorry. 1/5

12-12-2006, 07:14 PM	#5
Anarual DA Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 232 DLP Supporter	Just finished reading .... well it certainly is interesting , he can train harry in warfare , hand to hand tanctics and show him some dirty tricks , I like it . It's just.. hmmm Your Grammar is good and the sentences are also ok , the only problem i see in this Fic are the Personalities , Jak O'neill is much more .. lets say cockier ( sorry if i wrote the word wrong ) He's much more blunt and straightforward . As for Harry , well this is a after GOF fic so he's a little retard , not as badly as in HBP but it looks like he's a little goody good griffindork.

12-12-2006, 07:15 PM	#6
Anarual DA Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 232 DLP Supporter	sorry for the grammar , I'm falling asleep on my keybord right now ..

12-12-2006, 09:32 PM	#8
Necrule Paen Headmaster DLP Elite Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southern California Age: 26 Gender: Male Posts: 1,000 DLP Supporter	This author is better than most at characterization, flow, and writing a story distinguishable from other fics. However, I find the plot lacking and has glaring plotholes. 3/5 at best.

12-12-2006, 11:32 PM	#10
Kung_lou Fifth Year Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 180	I like it, it flowed well and the only thing I found annoying were the short chapter lengths but then we are all guilty of that so I can hardly complain. Nothing substantive has happed so far A few issues/comments that I had Jack is taking it rather well - far better than I imagined concidering his reluctance to join the SGC after his initial retirement, the bad political blood of the closure of the SGC (considering how important he felt it was and his loyalty to the program) and the involvement of a kid in a shooting war, he still has not gotten over the death of his son. With his contacts in the military and around the world that he implies throughout SG1 - I can see this going turning out well. A good and non cleched HP/SG1 idea. The location of Teal'c is also and issue. NID wanted to disect him, if the SGC program was shut down where is he. Jack would nver abandon a member of his team and engage in another project unless this was resolved. The Statute of secracy is the foundation of wizarding culture and has been for hundreds of years - something not easily broken and if found out the punishment is severe. As it stands this seems to easy, the issue side stepped and needs to be addressed. I have some doubt that if Jack was considered expert enough to train harry in Military doctrine, then he would have been left in the dark for so long. They would want to debreif him, even in the vaguest terms, before even getting Harry. 3/5 Could go either way depending on future direction

12-14-2006, 04:07 PM	#12
Crazy1 Order Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: England Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 399	I like this fic, but it's not great. I don't really remember it and that's definitely not good. I'll rate when there's a few more chapters.

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