Dark Lord Potter Forums
Go Back   Dark Lord Potter Forums > Library > Romance
Donate Register Rules Library List IRC Chat FAQ Members List Social Groups Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Donate to DLP Scryer Banner

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-04-2007, 12:33 AM   #1
High Inquisitor
Hadoren's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 500
Betrayal of the Best Kind by Draco664 - M - HP/CC

Title: Betrayal of the Best Kind
Author: Draco664
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure
DLP Category: Romance
Pairing: HP/CC
Chapters: 27
Words: 82,771
Update: July 29, 2005

Status: Complete
Summary: When the world turns against him, leaving only one by his side, Harry finds out that life, love and truth are more complicated than they seem. Danger, suspense, heartbreak and treachery abound.
Link: http://draco664.fanficauthors.net/Be...st_Kind/index/

Since this fic won an award and all, it will get in the library. Most DLPers think that it's a good Azkaban-genre fic and the best HP/CC pairing. I'm surprised it wasn't posted. You know, the library really is missing some popular fics that are talked about a lot on the forums.

I dislike the beginning of this fic. One problem is that that cliches abound such as Harry crying after reading a letter from his parents, Harry having a phoenix animagus, Best-Friends-for-Evah! Marauders, Ginny writing letters to Harry to cheer him up (oops, I mean Cho), etc. although I suppose they weren't cliche when the fic was written.

My main problem is the characterization in the fic during the beginning. Seriously, Harry's written with more mood swings and less rationality than any other fic I've every seen. Well, maybe not every fic (I'm looking at you and H/G, Rowling). His personality swings completely turned me off. It seemed that each chapter he would be feeling or doing the opposite thing of what he felt before or should've done.

For example, he keeps his sanity in Azkaban by hating everybody and locking away his good feelings. Yet when he escapes he's talking with Sirius like he never even came to Azkaban and all that hatred he's stored up is just his imagination. A more realistic view of the converstion is made in the fic Exile by Easleyweasley.

Then Harry recalls that Cho looked disgusted at him in the trial, and he says he doesn't love her anymore. Yet he still goes to meet with her without even thinking at all that it's a trap.

A lot of the early fic seems to be about ho-hum Hogwarts stuff and everyday life. I personally prefer to read about action and suspense - as I've stated before - mainly because I got sick of reading all those 6th year Harry Potter stories. One part I skipped entirely was the Sirius-Cho interaction, which was pure drama and could've been cut without harming the story. Come to think of it, much of the romance could've been cut such as Cho's feelings - although this may be a reflection of my hatred for romance.

After this, I dropped the fic. Now I'm rereading it.

Later on, it improves. An interesting thing is that this is the only fic I've ever seen where Harry actually joins Voldemort after being imprisoned in Azkaban. Harry Potter starts acting more realistically. The cliches also disappear - for example one interesting new idea is that Voldemort only marks his inner circle.

After this, Harry tells his friends to get out of there in an attack. At first I thought it was another dumb mistake. Reading on, Draco664 apparently uses this as a very nice plot device where you're unable to figure out whose side Harry is on. In addition, the battle scene at the end was very nice; Harry's traps were original and effective, although Draco664 seems to give too much credit to muggles.

Nevertheless, the romance still turns me off. Cho has publicly stated that she hates Harry to his face. He doesn't know she doesn't. And yet, when she is captured by him, he helps her escape. But the worst part of it is the fluff. I'm still scarred. Let me quote:

Harry slowly lowered his face to Cho's, and they shared a chaste kiss. Pulling apart they looked at the love evident for each other in their gaze. The next kiss was passionate.

As the sun dipped below the red-stained Indian Ocean, the pair lovingly gave their virginity to each other. They lay in each other's arms and lightly dozed as the warm, gentle wind from the vast inland desert caressed them.
Disgusting. To me, at least.

The second thing that turns me off is that Draco664 gives no reason for Harry to spy. He seems to forget that Harry has been betrayed by them and has absolutely no reason to help Dumbledore or them anymore. In fact, there is no explanation for why Harry decides to spy on Voldemort. This is - of course - in order to create confusion over whether Harry actually is a spy until it's revealed. Nevertheless, it would be nice to have the last chapters show this (they don't).

2/5 in the beginning.

3.75/5 after that.

P.S. If this fic is on the forums, my mistake. But I did search Draco664 and it wasn't there.

Checked by Minion, Nov. 17, 2012
Gil-galad was a Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
betweeen the Mountains and the Sea

His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored in his silver shield.

Last edited by Dark Minion; 11-17-2012 at 02:56 PM. Reason: Refining the Review
Hadoren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 05:20 AM   #2
ip82's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,921
Yeah, this is a legend. Coolness, angst and good romance. Nothing more to say than that - which is probably why it never got posted, along with several other oldies.

IP82 stories:

Potter's Resistance 1: Breaking Ties -> DLP Thread
Yin and Yang -> DLP Thread

Ficwad Profile || HP Recycle Bin || Crap filter C2
Rule no. 1 - You do not talk about Alpha Fight Club...
ip82 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 07:46 AM   #3
Second Year
FantasyDuck's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finland
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 57
Send a message via MSN to FantasyDuck
First when you see this fic it seems almost too good to be true since there isn't many Azkaban stories with Harry/Cho pairing. Anyway I liked the beginning with all the angst and betrayal, but it went downhill from there on.


Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!
FantasyDuck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 02:01 PM   #4
Raptured to Hell
mcatrage's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: USA
Gender: Male
Posts: 198
Parts of this story and especially the sequel can be very ridiculous but I like it and I think it some how works.

3.5/5 The whole happy ending with the friends kind of annoys me.
mcatrage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2007, 02:03 PM   #5
Klael's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Buffalo Grove, Il. (Suburban Chicago)
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,096
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Yeah, it was good--i enjoyed it a lot. BUT. Anyone read the sequel? Terrible idea--and I'm not even talking about the whole 'romance' side of the story. the way that voldemort eventually gets defeated is so anti-climactic, combined with magicalcreatureanimagus!harry AND cho. It was a terrible ending.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot to add my assessment of the final 2 fight scenes in the first one, then the way that harry survives them. I dropped my rating a whole point for them--terrible pieces of cliched crap.

this one: 2.5/5

I'll also give my preeminent opinion on the sequel: 2/5
"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." - Stephen King

Last edited by Klael; 02-05-2007 at 12:28 AM.
Klael is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2007, 10:28 PM   #6
Second Year
Runeknight's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Gender: Male
Posts: 50
Send a message via MSN to Runeknight
I read this a while ago... I think it seemed pretty good to me then, but now it seems kind of average.

"Life is an act. You have a part, whether you want to or not.
But it’s up to you to choose how you play your character.”
Runeknight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2007, 10:59 PM   #7
Dark Lord Rostam
Dark Lord
Dark Lord Rostam's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In that thing you call a closet. Better watch out, cause I'm playing with your clothes.
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,893
I liked this a lot my first time around. Considering the time it was written, the cliches aren't that bad. It's sequel is okay, but not as good.


3/5 for sequel.
Dark Lord Rostam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2007, 11:09 PM   #8
Seventh Year
yojorocks's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
Gender: Male
Posts: 286
The first time I read this, it was my introduction to the Azkaban-style fic, so I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Looking back now that I have read (or at least seriously started then ditched when they turned to crap) probably around 30 or so other similar fics, it doesn't really stand out of the pack that much. I really enjoyed a few scenes, like how he tried to fake his death. I mean, it wasn't perfect by a long shot, but looking back that's what I remember most about the fic.

Overall, it was pretty decent, a good thing to read if you like this type of romance or if you are out of fics to read, but I'm not going to spend a few hours rereading it by any means.

"Killing for peace is like fucking for virginity." -Shima, An Assassin's Memories
yojorocks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 12:11 AM   #9
Denarii Host
Renegade 4 Life
Shezza's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Australia
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,342
DLP Supporter Donor Star
For me, this story is a classic. It was written in a time when the cliche's used weren't so overused. Personally, I prefer the first over the second, but I'll give it a 5/5. I liked the concept, the story and the way it was written.
"Perhaps the most famous author on DLP is Shezza, who is engaged to another member of DLP, Jon. Many DLP members are envious of Jon for this, and really wish they could tap that. But they never will. For Shezza is the greatest trap to ever live.

And Jon is a whorez. "

Shezza is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 04:36 AM   #10
Seventh Year
huntedorange's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Highlands
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 273
Send a message via MSN to huntedorange
I liked the start of it but i found it went the same way as most other azkaban fiction in that they seem to lose ideas after a while, the sequel was woeful for me but it is a classic and i mostly enjoy draco's work. overall 3.5/5
huntedorange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 10:07 AM   #11
Until we meet again...
...Stay gold. Bang.
Antivash's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Ghost Planet
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,930
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Send a message via AIM to Antivash
Considering it wasnt too cliche when it was written, I liked it pretty well. It isnt the best youll ever seen, but there are worse. Its sequel wasnt as good, but is still decent enough.

3.5/5 combine score for both.

Find out how to use a steam sig like this here!
PS: If you PM and ask how to do it, I will ban you. Srsly.
Antivash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2007, 05:04 PM   #12
Chief Warlock
Mage's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,467
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Send a message via Skype™ to Mage
This was top of it line when it was written, and while it might not be that good now thats because its older. There were annoying things when I read it, but what fic doesnt have that. The only thing that really stands out as being truly annoying is that Cho betrays Harry a few times and yet he still "loves" her. Anyway it is a classic imo so 4/5
"Never say goodbye. If you don't say goodbye then you aren't really gone, you just aren't here right now."

-Red vs Blue Season 10

Mage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2007, 09:11 PM   #13
Fourth Year
draco664's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by Belerdorhan View Post
Disgusting. To me, at least.

The second thing that turns me off is that Draco664 gives no reason for Harry to spy. He seems to forget that Harry has been betrayed by them and has absolutely no reason to help Dumbledore or them anymore. In fact, there is no explanation for why Harry decides to spy on Voldemort. This is - of course - in order to create confusion over whether Harry actually is a spy until it's revealed. Nevertheless, it would be nice to have the last chapters show this (they don't).
Well, in my defense, it was the first time I'd ever tried creative writing, I wrote in in a month and a half, without a beta, and posted it without proofreading for the most part.

I reread it recently and I cringed at how dated it has become. When I was writing it, there were about 3 Phoenix!Harry fics out there, chiches were still new ideas, and JKR hadn't decided what the fifth book should be called.

About the only thing I am still proud of in it was the set up that sent Harry to Azkaban. I'm yet to read another fic that has even a remotely decent frame.

I knew from hard-won experience how hard it was to shift an idea once Hermione had hold of it. Her intelligence was like the Hogwarts Express, extremely powerful, but it was fucking hard to make it change direction.
- Harry Potter, Journeyman Potter
draco664 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2007, 07:21 PM   #14
Second Year
gadriam's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Sweden
Gender: Male
Posts: 72
The phrase "to be, or not to be" has been used in a gazillion ways, but anyone calling "Hamlet" a cliché is simply bloody stupid. So there! This story was one of the first fanfics i ever read, and it was great. Sure, these days there's tons of fics using all kinds of themes, but i prefer to give credit where credit's due. Today, my taste is a bit more refined, but hell, so's Draco's writing. This fic may be average today, and it has some annoying bits, but to me at least it's one of the classics together with the Psychic Serpent Trilogy and the Model T Ford. Best of it's time.
May Robert Lind in Kramfors bless your keyboard.

Thou shalt not party with outback folks, 'cuz they're BONKERS!
gadriam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2007, 12:10 PM   #15
High Inquisitor
Mrriddler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Somewhere high, somewhere low and somewhere in between...hmm guess I'm not making much sense.
Gender: Male
Posts: 538
I agree with gadriam. This was a classic especially amongst HP/CC fans. Plus he managed to get it finished which is ahm, well, a big plus.
FF.net Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/78975/Mrriddler
Mrriddler is offline   Reply With Quote

author:draco664, complete, harry/cho

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Complete - Journeyman Potter by draco664 - T ip82 General Fics 99 09-20-2013 01:37 AM
Abandoned - Master Potter by Draco664 - T Muttering Condolences General Fics 132 10-24-2009 11:30 AM
Complete - Snape's Worst Nightmare by draco664 - T ip82 Humor 6 08-16-2009 10:20 PM
Oneshot - The Widower Maker by Draco664 - M (One Shot) Jearom Humor 32 09-30-2008 05:46 PM
Oneshot - The End by Draco664 - T - OneShot Hadoren The Alternates 11 07-01-2007 12:24 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2005 - 2016 DLP Group. All rights reserved.
No personal intellectual property on this site may be used without the credit and express permission of the respective authors.