Title: The Black Heir
Author: FirePhoenix8
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure/Drama
DLP Category: Dark Harry
Pairing: Slash HPLV
Satus: WIP
Summary: AU. Harry escapes from the Dursleys when he's ten years old and is found by the escaped Sirius Black. They will discover they are father and son. Durmstrang,DarkArts,dueling,powers,heritage,horcruxes,hallows,Tom,Voldemort. Darkish!Harry HPLV Slash
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3762636/1/The_Black_Heir


This is a pretty good fic if you read around the HPLV slash parts so don't not read it if thats the only bad thing you have to say about this fic. I'll admit though that the only reason that I started to read it was because I didn't see the HPLV slash part but it's turning out pretty good if you ignore that part so give it a chance and see if you like it.
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Literally almost every single sentence is written in the passive voice.

Harry's sobbing and giggling over his impending rape, and I can't go any further. His depression is infectious.

If Harry lucks out, Voldemort will swoop in and finish what Vernon started, according to the pairing.

 

fail, nothing more to say

 

HA HA HA HA HA!

That is all the attention I am willing to give you idiot/troll.

 

So let's get this straight, because I'm half way through the first chapter and really am not liking it.

Harry is being beaten and touched in ways that would require a demonstration doll in court, so he buggers off.

Then he meets an unknown, possibly savage, dog on the street, who by all accounts isn't looking too attractive. He pats it and tells him that Uncle Vernon is touching his naughty place.

Then, it turns into a scary looking man, who kidnaps him, then convinces him to come into his house because he's his 'god father'. (Sure, all this is true, but Harry didn't exactly get proof.)

You know, it doesn't bode well for the rest of the story that Harry has already done all this thick shit in the first half of the chapter.

But wait, there's more! Harry is apparently Orion Sirius Black (despite Sirius not ever knowing him, and Lily not exactly following traditional pureblood naming systems of constellations) and is also instantly accepted by the Black portraits and will go to Durmstrang (but I'm guessing will travel to Hogwarts on some pretext, probably the Triwizard Tournament).

Bah, this would fit more in the Almost Recommended, Barely Readable section than here. 1/5

 

Yeah, it may start out like that, but it gets better once Sirius finds him a little ways further in the first chapter.

 

Prove it. Post a memorable action scene. Something. No human being deserves to suffer through this just so that they can find something worth reading.

 

Nononononono. No action scene is worth 'pup'.

Unless it's one of Shezza's, and the nickname 'pup', is because Harry turned Amanda into a bitch.

Yeah, I'm a fangirl.

 

A pairing like that is an automatic fail to me, no matter how good the rest of the story is. And this story isn't near good enough to even consider excusing HP/LV.

What on earth would possess you into thinking that this would be a good story to post?

I say troll.

 

A. Fail
B. Troll
C. Kill it with fire.
D. All of the above.

 

Ahem, I'd like to make a revision:

A. Fail
B. Troll
C. Kill it with fire.
D. Deserving of Mr. Wiggles' tender affections.
E. All of the above.

 

And I had this insane hope for a halfway decent independent fic, too. Instead I got a troll and a rape/slash fic.

We are in need of an admin.

 

But the author definitely is. Even overlooking slash *shudders* this fic is a fail. 447,394 words of this shit. How can people waste so much effort on something this useless is beyond me. Must be some kind of masochism.
1/5
P.S. Does anyone care to count how many Potter Laws did the first chapter break?
Hmm, let me see:
1. For Orion Sirius Black.
2. For Slash pairing.
3. For "pup".
4.

This one is nearly broken.
Oh, and that one too:

Anything I missed?

 

I vote for an immediate bin.

 

Harry sucked Voldemort's cock, cum streaming down his chin. The older man grunted as he spilled the last of his seed into Harry's waiting mouth. He swallowed the remains of his semen, enjoying the taste of the Dark Lord's cock as it softened in his mouth.

The boy thought that was it, until the Dark Lord cast a spell on himself. Harry felt Voldemort's cock become hard again, before he withdrew it from his mouth.

"Turn over, Harry," he said, smirking.

Bin? This should be in the Hall of Shame.

 

... Is it just me or has the title The Black Heir/theme of it been used at least 10 + times?

 

The bin is too good for this. I thought the bin was for stories with a rating of 3 or so, not 1. Just delete this entire thread and be done with it.

 

I meant trash bin. not recycle

Edit: It doesn't deserve the Hall of Shame either. It's just a troll. The Hall is reserved for the truly stupid.

He was probably trying to get into the Hall of shame

 

After reading this I have to say, undoubtedly:

5/5.

Honestly...

 

Can I give negative points?