Dark Lord Potter Forums Dark Lord Potter Forums  

Go Back   Dark Lord Potter Forums > Library > Almost Recommended
Donate Register Rules Library List IRC Chat FAQ Members List Social Groups Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Donor Bar
PatronusCharm Banner

 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-09-2008, 06:44 AM   #1
scaryisntit
Death Eater
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sydney, Australia
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 926
Agent Double O Hex, by KafkaExMachina - T

Agent Double O Hex, by KafkaExMachina.

That is if you couldn't tell by the thread title.

Title: Agent Double O Hex
Author: KafkaExMachina
Rating: T
Genre: Humour
DLP Category: Humour
Pairing: H/Hr
Summary: A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James. H\Hr

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1399028/KafkaExMachina

Only three chapters so far (18k words), but shows promise.

Basically, Harry gets raised from the age of seven onwards with James Bond. Hermione is the daughter of 'The Dentist', a supervillian who earned his title through his ability to use dentistry equipment in a variety of interesting ways.

They both go to Hogwarts together (eventually), constantly find themselves next to each other and so on. The humour in the story is what makes me give it a 4/5. There are few 'meh' moments that drag the score down, but enough funny moments, at least to me, to keep me into it.

M = Minverva. Lol.


Random quote from the third chapter...

Quote:
Hermione grumbled internally while rolling her eyes. She nodded mindlessly as the no-necked cookie-cutter agent lectured her about why it was not appropriate for young ladies to hire mercenary outfits with CIA money, especially for the purposes of destabilizing the U.S. government. ‘Just like Ms. Chaucey, my fourth-grade teacher, going on and on about “Not playing God” and “Creating man-eating mutant kittens is both morally wrong and exceedingly poor taste.” Unimaginative Philistines stifling my natural intellectual talents, the lot of them! Regardless, it should be quite obvious to the Americans that I had nothing to do with the mess, considering I’d never establish an alibi by hiding myself as an exhibit in a PRC zoo!’

“Are you paying attention, Miss. Granger?” The agent asked.

“Yes sir,” she replied, taking a drink from her water cup. Hermione swished the water around in her mouth a few times before swallowing. She still hadn’t managed to get the taste of bamboo out.

‘The last round may go to you, Harry, but the game’s not finished yet. Oh no, it is most certainly not over!’

“Young lady, cease that line of thought this instant! I know signs of impending maniacal laughter!” The agent barked, interrupting her thoughts.

Hermione nodded contritely, and re-focused on appearing properly remorseful. She idly noted that the urge to play with old tires still haunted her.

Last edited by scaryisntit; 03-09-2008 at 06:51 AM. Reason: Add a Quote.
scaryisntit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 11:27 AM   #2
Methene
Auror
 
Methene's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bucharest, Romania
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 688
Prior to reading this story, I would have considered any James Bond/Harry Potter crossover to be made of instant fail. This is working towards changing my opinion.

The early chapters seem to have a rush about them, probably due to the author's desire to get to the better years, such as year four and five. I think the Harry/Hermione is a bit too much for the early years, but since there won't be many early years chapters I don't mind it that much.

It is good the story is listed as humour, since it would have failed at anything else. As humour it is light hearted and delightful. I especially liked Luna's portrayal in the third chapter, although I disagree with the author's portrayal of her father.

I am not voting yet, since I wish to read more before forming an opinion, but I would give this story 4/5 for now.
__________________

Methene-supporting Harry/Fleur since Rome was founded

And here is where I shamelessly advertise my fic:
Of Blacks and Malfoys

The Molly is a lie. Do not believe Shacklebolt's filthy propaganda.



Methene is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 11:37 AM   #3
Humbolt
Seventh Year
 
Humbolt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Central New York
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 238
I read the first chapter of this before I lost interest. I'm not much of a James Bond fan and the story failed to capture my interest. From what I remember the humor in it just made me go meh.

I give the one chapter I read a 2/5
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mors Mortis
Harry/Veela is bestiality you furfag. At least with incest you are staying within your own species.
Humbolt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 12:28 PM   #4
nonjon
Alumni
 
nonjon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,129
I'll just quote my old post in the 'Almost Recommended' thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonjon
Yes, I'm double-posting. I'm allowed. And I'm kicking up an old topic to do it.

I'll happily almost recommend this light-hearted little romp:
Quote:
Agent Double O Hex by KafkaExMachina
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4019608/1/
A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James. H\Hr
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,250 - Reviews: 51 - Updated: 1-19-08 - Published: 1-18-08
Only 2 chapters, but it's a highly entertaining premise. Harry trained/raised by James Bond, and he's something of a secret agent himself. The small scenes and ideas towards the usefulness of a trained wizard in the super-spy business are full of potential.

Unfortunately, every piece of enjoyment I got from reading it was utterly ruined by the character of Hermione Granger. Her as an equal to Harry, her as a nemesis, thwarting their plans, and her parents as criminal masterminds (who aren't that bad of course). Put the shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger please.

Seriously, it's characterizations of Hermione like this that make me long for the days of shitty Harry/Ginny romance. And the worst thing is that Harry's supposed to be a fucking James Bond, junior essentially. I don't need to see him acting suave and dapper and always getting the girl. But to weasel in a trite little romance for Bond's protege? Having Harry "never understand her" when he plays nice, gets kisses on the cheek, and they help each other study? I couldn't stand it.

I think I'm most upset because the idea has so much promise for being fun, light-hearted, humorous, without any effort. With a skilled author it could even be action-packed or adventurous. But as it stands, I had to force myself to finish reading the two chapters because every mention of Hermione was like a dementor to me, sucking all the happiness away.

A Harry raised by Bond in the manner in which this has been set up could be immensely enjoyable and an easy 5/5 and hearty recommendation. But with the use of Hermione and apparent direction for this fic so far, I'll give it 2/5 and a "maybe" on whether I even want to read any more.
I got about halfway through chapter three before giving up. But at least I have a clearer idea about what ruins this fic for me. It's a Harry Potter/James Bond crossover which I'm all for as a fan of Harry Potter and James Bond. But to me, the heroes and main characters are supposed to be the coolest characters. And when you make it all about Ma Sue, Pa Sue, and the bucktoothed ass-end-of-a-beaver-faced Mary Sue, and how they keep duping and getting the better of the 'heroes', it just makes for a story I don't want to read.

Hermione fans will get a kick out of it, but for me she's just about surpassed Ginny in sheer volume of horribly annoying fanon characterizations.

I can't stand Harry Potter fics where the OC American transfer student is the uber-wizard better than everyone in canon. So even in a parody, I can't enjoy a Harry Potter/James Bond fic where you're basically taking away what makes the two main characters James Bond-like and supplanting it with a trio of annoying OC Mary Sues named Grangers.

My original rating of 2/5 still sounds right to me.
__________________
Lucius waved off the Headmaster with a practiced aristocratic sneer. “I'm trembling in my crushed velvet slippers.” - Now Hiring: Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures
nonjon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 12:44 PM   #5
Mors
Order Member
 
Mors's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 814
DLP Supporter Donor Star
This story would've found a far greater acceptance in some site called DarkLadyHermione. Grangers as a dark family kinda fails.

I would've liked a HP/JB crossover where Harry has to confront muggle villains without his wand and with magical objects/potions in place of gadgets... a fic like that could very easily become a good one. I dunno, Bond!Harry going to Hogwarts and learning how to turn a teabag into a hedgehog doesn't do it for me.

My rating is 2/5. Though I didn't finish the fic.

Also: o/’ Bond trumpet riff o/’ <-- This fucking irritated me to no end.

In summary, the adventure is stale, and the humour is not my thing.
__________________
My FF.Net Profile.

Last edited by Mors; 03-09-2008 at 12:47 PM.
Mors is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 01:16 PM   #6
Blaise
Golden Patronus
 
Blaise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Washington, D.C.
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,195
L.O.L. (Lack Of Lol'z).

I read it solely for curiosity's sake, as failure was predestined. It read like a slightly more well-written version of the Invincible Technomage. The most creative parts of the story were the chapter titles.

Both the James Bond and Harry Potter series are British; therefore, there should be NO references to goddamned "omakes". It would've taken two extra letters to type "out take" instead.

2/5
__________________
Blaise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 03:20 PM   #7
knothead
Groundskeeper
 
knothead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mors Mortis View Post
This story would've found a far greater acceptance in some site called DarkLadyHermione. Grangers as a dark family kinda fails.
Nowhere does the author say right out that the Grangers are a dark family. The Dentist is a mercenary, and M(invera) asked Bond to recruit them. Where KafkaExMachina messes up is making Bond using force at a conference where instead he should have talked to them first. After the Grangers' refusal, hilarity could then ensue.

There are hints though that the Grangers will join up. I'd love to see Hermione's reaction when she meets M.

If I rated it now, it would get 4 stars (a high 3 rounded up-- there are misspellings and such) from me simply because it's designed to be popcorn entertainment, and you're supposed to suspend disbelief. The author does a decent job of doing that.
knothead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2008, 03:43 PM   #8
Kang
Minister for Magic
 
Kang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: England
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,202
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Huh, amusing until you realize it focuses on beaverface.
Then it was
FAIL.
However, it was a good comedy while it lasted = 3/5



Kang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 02:32 AM   #9
hance1986
Card Captored and buttsecksed
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
why is this story getting trashed? i happen to like it quite a bit. i have entertained the idea of doing a james bond/harry potter crossover myself, albeit with a more serious and violent undertone. the idea is solid. in terms of humor, this does have it.

in this case, hermione is harry's foil, keeping him on his toes more so than voldemort, in a way. there are inclinations of a romantic undertone to bond!harry and chibi!villian!hermione, and it works. the early years remind me of a less violent version of mr. and mrs. smith trying to kill each other, but they're both talented in their own right.

the grangers as international mercenaries? win. don't forget this story is massively au in character development. i especially liked the beginning of chapter 3, when hermione's device apparently summoned something from...beyond.

cthulu, perhaps? it's commented that hermione has to be grounded for breaking a few laws of man AND god. apparently she brought across something MAN WAS NOT MEANT TO KNOW.

all in all, i don't see what the hate is about. its funny in a spymovie sort of way.
hance1986 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 04:47 AM   #10
yak
Moderator
 
yak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,999
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Quote:
Originally Posted by hance1986 View Post
in this case, hermione is harry's foil, keeping him on his toes more so than voldemort, in a way.
Hermione is pwning Harry every time. The Granger's have won every altercation with Bond and Potter. When one side always inevitably wins, and one side always loses, that's a hero/villain dynamic. At the moment Harry and Bond are on the villain end of that slider. It's emotionally unsatisfying to read.

This isn't a balanced hero/villain relationship at all.

Quote:
there are inclinations of a romantic undertone to bond!harry and chibi!villian!hermione, and it works.
No, it doesn't. Even though the author said the kids are too you young for romance she's still pushing them on it.

Quote:
the grangers as international mercenaries? win.
They're also experts in horrific torture. Horrific enough that the father is nick-named in reference to his skill. The Dentist.

This fic has some neat ideas, and it's worth reading at least a bit, but there are several problems that quicly cripple it.

Yak.
yak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 09:05 AM   #11
hance1986
Card Captored and buttsecksed
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
yak, is it so much that hermione pwns harry every time as it is that in reality they are breaking even? in terms of talent, hermione and harry are about equal, although they have different areas of expertise. hermione with her breeding dangerous magical supermutants and harry siccing a CIA killsquad on her.

as far as a romantic undertone, in chapter 2, harry is able to get hermione a minion, in the form of one big-ass troll. being the daughter of a mercenary/supervillian, a minion would appeal to her.
hance1986 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 02:29 PM   #12
Jibril
Headmaster
 
Jibril's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: 50.26°N, 19.02°E
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,085
Maybe it's just me but I don't like this story.

It tries to be a pulp story but it fails miserably.
In pulp main character usually does all kind of wacky shit and ownes almost everyone (eg. Indiana Jones).
Here all the light is taken from Harry by Herman and her Mary Sue parents.

Personally I would prefer a more grimmer kind of world-view - like in Casino Royale or [spooks]. With people dying because of their stupidity.

Oh, and that.
Quote:
M = Minverva
Fail. M is head of SIS and has no time to be a teacher.

Another problem - long-ass spells. In second chapter Herman uses an SIX word spell on the devil snares when she could use just two one word spells with just the same effect.
__________________
Lo, I reverse the arc.
The arrow pulls back from your death,
nocked once more in a taut string
which men call hate.

The King in Yellow, act II. scene IV.
Jibril is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 04:37 PM   #13
underachiever1991
Backtraced
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 25
Prior to reading this story, I would have considered any James Bond/Harry Potter crossover to be made of instant fail. This is working towards NOT changing my opinion.
underachiever1991 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 11:38 PM   #14
knothead
Groundskeeper
 
knothead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by franki View Post
Fail. M is head of SIS and has no time to be a teacher.

Another problem - long-ass spells. In second chapter Herman uses an SIX word spell on the devil snares when she could use just two one word spells with just the same effect.
I'm sure Minerva has access to time-turners. That being said, you're absolutely right with regard to Hermione's six-word spells.
knothead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2008, 11:59 PM   #15
belladonna16
Second Year
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Kentucky, but my heart is still north of here...
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 73
I enjoy this for the strict humor/crossover that it is. Then again, I admit, I like a lot of odd crossovers. I admit to odd-duckness.

I'd give it a 3.5/5... there's a lot of improbablity mixed into the story - but I can ignore 'reality' when I read a story ...
belladonna16 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2008, 04:37 AM   #16
Korisovra
Headmaster
 
Korisovra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: At your mothers house
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,163
Send a message via AIM to Korisovra Send a message via MSN to Korisovra Send a message via Yahoo to Korisovra
3.5/5 just because it's different. And it did make me laugh. A little........sort of
__________________
Harry sighed, wiping a tired hand across his face. "I understand why you did what you did, Bruce. The point is you didn't need to blow up three buses, two boats, a nunnery, and a toy poodle."


"I don't like poodles," muttered Batman, looking rather like a child being scolded.



Korisovra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2008, 10:24 AM   #17
pontfirebird73
Third Year
 
pontfirebird73's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Jersey
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
2/5 It started off somewhat ok but the grangers and hermione involvement in this story made me want to puke.
pontfirebird73 is offline   Reply With Quote

Tags
author:kafkaexmachina, harry/hermione


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Will He Be Happy? by KafkaExMachina OneWhiteHair Almost Recommended 15 02-28-2008 01:50 PM
FBI Agent: State Department Woking for ISI, Others Xiph0 Politics 8 01-08-2008 06:53 PM
The Averis Challenge: Double Shot Averis Challenges 5 06-12-2007 05:03 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2005 - 2016 DLP Group. All rights reserved.
No personal intellectual property on this site may be used without the credit and express permission of the respective authors.