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Old 06-11-2008, 11:32 AM   #1
Rin
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A New Chance Continued by pyrodaemon - M

Title: [A New Chance Continued]
Author: [pyrodaemon]
Author of Original Story: [Curalium Lacrimo]
Rating: [M]
Genre: [General]
DLP Category: [Time Travel]
Pairing: [(tentatively) Harry Potter/Luna Lovegood]
Status: [Work in Progress]
Summary: [Managing to kill Lord Voldemort, Harry now faces the fates themselves. Watch as he's thrown back in time to his eleven year old self and given a second chance at life, a chance to right past wrongs.]
Link: [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4230389/...nce_Continued]

Quote:
Originally Posted by pyrodaemon
Hello everyone as you can see I've been given permission from the wonderful Curalium Lacrimo to continue 'A New Chance'. This is all the chapters she had up beta-ed by myself and the lovely tranquilitygal95. Hopefully you guys like the rest of the story just as much as you liked the first six chapters. I'm going to post a chapter every seven to twelve days unless something goes wrong. I will not be posting on any national (US) holidays as I always travel out of town to visit my relatives but I will try posting just before them.
pyrodaemon writes significantly better, in my opinion than the original author. The story has a lot of potential, and doesn't fall into the major pitfalls and cliches (okay, there's one glaring one: custom wand, but it's not all that significant, and it"s explained reasonably enough). The current author seems to know about runes, and there's a nice explanation of their history in one of the chapters.

I like that Harry ISN'T BUTTHURT and BAWWWing over seeing his friends alive . . . in fact, he never gets "back" together with them in this timeline. There's abuse in the initial chapters, but he doesn't BAWWW over that either. He seems like he's actually got a much more adult personality (as he should).

Anyway, give it a chance. My deepest apologies if this is already in the library, but I couldn't find it, and I did search.
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Old 06-11-2008, 12:27 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Rin View Post
I like that Harry ISN'T BUTTHURT and BAWWWing over seeing his friends alive . . . in fact, he never gets "back" together with them in this timeline. There's abuse in the initial chapters, but he doesn't BAWWW over that either.
Kill yourself.
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Old 06-11-2008, 12:54 PM   #3
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1/5.

Story too cliché, bad format...horrible grammar. Just no.
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Old 06-11-2008, 01:45 PM   #4
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Harry's Sensei Muzuki Matsushika
As far as I got.

Fail.
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Old 06-11-2008, 01:50 PM   #5
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Harry's Sensei Muzuki Matsushika
I got the vibe the author really wanted to include sushi somewhere. I can understand, if not forgive.

Weeaboo. Never forgive.
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Old 06-11-2008, 01:51 PM   #6
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Meh, not great but it was interesting. I read the original story somewhere along the way, so I'm glad it's being continued. 3.5/5 for now.
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Harry sighed, wiping a tired hand across his face. "I understand why you did what you did, Bruce. The point is you didn't need to blow up three buses, two boats, a nunnery, and a toy poodle."


"I don't like poodles," muttered Batman, looking rather like a child being scolded.



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Old 06-11-2008, 02:11 PM   #7
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Hmm, I actually liked this story, despite its flaws. The report between AR Prof and Harry was mildly disturbing and totally unrealistic. I did like the little bit about teachers gossiping about their favorite students, though. Snape was not poorly portrayed, I thought, for the most part.

Yes, its a cliche redo fic, but its certainly not the worst I've read. The first chapter had me very worried about it devolving into epic fail territory, but it hasn't hit yet.

Thank God that martial arts crap is hardly mentioned, and I hope its dropped altogether soon. Whoever decided to mix HP and anime really needs to be sterilized.

3.5/5 for me.

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Old 06-11-2008, 06:08 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Strange Lulz View Post
As far as I got.

Fail.
I very rarely physically facepalm.

Yeah. Did that one totally on reflex.

Why are all martial arts instructors Japanese? Where are the Chinese monks? The Thai kick boxers? Fuck, Israeli trained Krav Maga-Harry could be ill! But no, it has to be some shriveled Japanese wise-man so the author can live out a cliched-anime fantasy...
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Old 06-12-2008, 12:19 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogrusMage View Post
I very rarely physically facepalm.

Yeah. Did that one totally on reflex.

Why are all martial arts instructors Japanese? Where are the Chinese monks? The Thai kick boxers? Fuck, Israeli trained Krav Maga-Harry could be ill! But no, it has to be some shriveled Japanese wise-man so the author can live out a cliched-anime fantasy...
Except that while she might have taught him martial arts, she was primarily his runes instructor.

Anyway, the first six chapters were all from the original story and if you can get through them, the continuation is a much better read.
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Old 06-12-2008, 07:26 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogrusMage View Post
I very rarely physically facepalm.

Yeah. Did that one totally on reflex.

Why are all martial arts instructors Japanese? Where are the Chinese monks? The Thai kick boxers? Fuck, Israeli trained Krav Maga-Harry could be ill! But no, it has to be some shriveled Japanese wise-man so the author can live out a cliched-anime fantasy...
Indeeeeed. Sagat-Trained Harry. Awesome. He would wtfhaxpwn Ryu and Blanka.
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Old 06-12-2008, 07:31 AM   #11
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Yeah, but why bring up the Chinese? Everyone knows Chun-Li was a weak character. newbzoar.

Seriously, though, Rin is correct that the japo was mostly a Runes instructor. And kinda a piss-poor one if he's learning a lot from beginning instruction.

Yeah, the story gets better, and like I said I think the whole martial arts thing is never mentioned later.
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Old 06-12-2008, 08:50 AM   #12
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Neither good nor bad, 3/5.
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Old 06-12-2008, 02:20 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogrusMage View Post
I very rarely physically facepalm.

Yeah. Did that one totally on reflex.

Why are all martial arts instructors Japanese? Where are the Chinese monks? The Thai kick boxers? Fuck, Israeli trained Krav Maga-Harry could be ill! But no, it has to be some shriveled Japanese wise-man so the author can live out a cliched-anime fantasy...
Damn right he would.

Do you know how long I've been waiting to see a Harry trained in Krav Maga?

I've been working on a few fic ideas in my head for a while now, and every time Harry needs training in the physical arts I use Krav Maga.

These damn fangirls really don't know jack shit about actual fighting. Sure Karate and Kung Fu look pretty and all, but they're based off of one thing that has no place in fighting, rules.

You really want to see a Harry that kicks some ass? Have him trained in Krav Maga as well as with the Fairbairn Sykes fighting knife.

Every time Harry wields a knife of any sort he:

A. Has 2 of them that he wields in a reverse grip
B. Has a dagger thats "Not made out of gold or silver and encrusted with jewels, instead it's functional but still absolutely beautiful"
C. Uses them for throwing purposes only.

Give Harry a Fairbairn Sykes and the training to use it, and watch the blood flow.

I'm also tired of the fucking Katana's. Every time Harry has a sword it's either a Katana or the Sword of Gryffindor.

"The Katana is light, it's the best sword ever made, blah blah blah" Firstly, a Katana isn't THAT light, people make the thing out the be light as a bloody feather... It's not.

You've got a Katana? Congratufuckinglations, I'll take a 1 and a half hander and a shield, or a 1796 Light Cavalry Sabre over a katana any day of the week.

The rest of the world used swords for a helluva long time, and got along just fine without a damn katana.

Last edited by Dr. Strange Lulz; 06-12-2008 at 02:23 PM.
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Old 06-12-2008, 02:46 PM   #14
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Katanas aren't that bad. But Lulz is right, they're not suitable for the majority of westerners simply because the training takes forever and a day for you to be able to use one without cutting off your own damned foot. My personal preference? A saber, hand-and-a-half sword, or *gasp* an Ox-tail Dao. Propably the Dao, a light and fast one handed blade that goes in circles around a Katana. Even better when you use another pointy object in your off hand. And Katana's are NOT light. Try swinging one for 5-10 minutes and tell me that shit again.

Edit: A real Japanese katana, not that commercialized crap they sell everywhere but Japan. The ones in the states are lighter and a helluvalot shittier.
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Harry sighed, wiping a tired hand across his face. "I understand why you did what you did, Bruce. The point is you didn't need to blow up three buses, two boats, a nunnery, and a toy poodle."


"I don't like poodles," muttered Batman, looking rather like a child being scolded.



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Old 06-12-2008, 05:54 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogrusMage View Post
I very rarely physically facepalm.

Yeah. Did that one totally on reflex.

Why are all martial arts instructors Japanese? Where are the Chinese monks? The Thai kick boxers? Fuck, Israeli trained Krav Maga-Harry could be ill! But no, it has to be some shriveled Japanese wise-man so the author can live out a cliched-anime fantasy...
Heh heh, I did a Harry trained in Krav Maga in my fic Sealed Fate. Maybe a martial-arts!Harry is cliche, but at least Krav Maga is a relatively original idea for a HP FanFiction =)

On this fic; I read the original (and the other two rewrites) and it wasn't great. Full of cliche, like most new fics, but it just read slowly. Alright is you want a totally under-the-carpet read with nothing better to do, so I'll give it 2/5.
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"I've gorged on the fear of my enemies, self-indulged in lust and been a slave to my own avarice." Harry spun wildly, facing away from his benevolent headmaster in burning shame and anger. "I've succumbed to despair, become blinded by pride and others have paid in blood for my vainglory."

"I've been the epitome of apathy, and my wrath..." His breathing became heavy and laboured. "There is no fury on earth, or below it, which can compare."

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Old 06-12-2008, 07:44 PM   #16
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Hmmmmmmm. Normally I would give Ravenclaw!Harry a chance but I did not like this one. 2.5/5
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Old 06-12-2008, 11:01 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Dr. Strange Lulz View Post
You really want to see a Harry that kicks some ass? Have him trained in Krav Maga as well as with the Fairbairn Sykes fighting knife.
I've seen a grand total of 1 fic where harry is trained to use a fairbairn, and if I recall it didn't have much effect on the plot. It was one of the 'Doctor granger the former RAF commander' fics.

I don't recall which fic it was though.
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Old 06-12-2008, 11:25 PM   #18
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Is it the one where Harry's a pimp?
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Harry sighed, wiping a tired hand across his face. "I understand why you did what you did, Bruce. The point is you didn't need to blow up three buses, two boats, a nunnery, and a toy poodle."


"I don't like poodles," muttered Batman, looking rather like a child being scolded.



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Old 06-12-2008, 11:46 PM   #19
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Yeah, but why bring up the Chinese? Everyone knows Chun-Li was a weak character. newbzoar.

Seriously, though, Rin is correct that the japo was mostly a Runes instructor. And kinda a piss-poor one if he's learning a lot from beginning instruction.

Yeah, the story gets better, and like I said I think the whole martial arts thing is never mentioned later.
Actually, Harry did learn a lot, but only what was necessary for practical work. In the story, Harry's learning all the non practical stuff that has little bearing on whether one can use it or not.

Analogously, does one need a thorough knowledge of electronics to make a television remote control do the many varied tasks that one can do with one? Admittedly, one needs a thorough knowledge of the functions of each button, but do I need to know how a capacitor or transistor works?

The one thing I like about this story is that Harry is taking advantage of his foreknowledge to perform well in class rather than make everyone think he's not got two brain cells to rub together like he does in many redo fics.
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Old 06-13-2008, 03:11 AM   #20
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Damn right he would.

Do you know how long I've been waiting to see a Harry trained in Krav Maga?

I've been working on a few fic ideas in my head for a while now, and every time Harry needs training in the physical arts I use Krav Maga.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2676545/...arkness_Within

Harry trains with Kingsley and Tonks in Krav Maga. It's not the greatest story, and appears abandoned, but it's entertaining for a bit at the very least.
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