http://darklordpotter.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=877&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=330

You know what it is

 

The main cliche that I hate is probably the one that has the Goblins have a heart attack when Harry recognizes one of them. Don't they wear name tags or something? Someone should do a fic like that.

"Hey, aren't you Griphook?"

Griphook jumps. "How did you know it was me? You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"It says so on your tag."

Also, another cliche that I dispise is the one where Harry is the only human that ever meets with the President Goblin.

 

As I was saying

It's not like you get a bank statement
$150.3242389742987892374 is it its $167.94 or an amount that is actually rounded up.
The sum total of Harry's visit to gringotts in my fic was
"After a short visit to Gringotts where his piles of money seemed even larger than before"

 

Continuing Tinder's point.

A wand = 70$, yet the twin's store manages to get open with around 7.3$K? You can't even start to buy shit to put IN a store for that sort of money, magic or no. The rental for a month, plus downpayment, plus insurance, etc, etc STOCK, etc would eat through three times that minimum.

And how pathetic is it that a joke shop in fanon, seems to be the IT store. Wouldn't oh... a defensive armor shop be huge? Not that stupid ass shield hat, but a real rune robe store or something for canon?

How much was a firebolt, I'm too lazy to look atm, but wasn't it over a grand?

 

i cant ever even follow the money system. too confusing. so when a fic says 20 billion galleons i just say oh he can buy anything he wants and thats that

 

Cliche: Dumbledore always and repetitivly calls harry "Dear Boy" never "harry" never "lad". My dear boy it was my fault or Go to sleep dear boy Though as most of you realize this is not found generally in the stories of DLP :lol:

 

Been discussed thousands of times before but it's still the main cliche.
In my fic Harry goes to Gringotts to discover Dumbledore manipulations but there is the problem. The manipulations doesnt exist! But Harry refuse to give up .
When he gets to Gringotts he asks the goblin if he is Griphook and then the goblin looks at him and says:"You are mistaken wizard. I'm not Griphook"
Bah I need a beta

 

Cliche I Hate: Most of the time when harry is a metamorphamagus he just changes shape when he goes shopping...

Instead of just changing shape to shop the smart thing to do would to dispose of some poor ministry schmuck this way you can

a) Still go shopping
b) Get close to Fudge dispose of him and have an army of peons to do your bidding.

 

Is that the start of a parody? Sounds like one. I love it when people mock independant stories well. *grins* I get two things I like, an independent story, and a humor fic.

Cliche...hm, well I suppose this could be called a cliche.

I've been getting really annoyed lately by the way people are avoiding "commonly used themes" to the point where the story becomes completely unrealistic. Usually, I would give them points for trying, but they way people always want to be "original" that they ignore plot devices that work...well, it pisses me off. Sure, I dislike cliches just as much as the next intelligent fanfic reader, but so many people are driving this thing to the extreme.

I say, use it. I mean, if it's a cliche, it has to have some ground to stand on, right? Make it low key, but say, for instance, avoiding Gringotts visits entirely because it has that "cliche" label on it is idiotic.

My current cliche rant: The obvious avoidence of cliches.

(does anyone know how to add the little apostrophe looking thing above the letter "e" in cliche? I've never been able to figure it out.)

 

Yeah...i know exactly what you mean.

I'm writing a H/T fic right now where he is a metamorphmagus, but i'm sticking in a whole bunch of twists with it.

But damn you! You took the idea from me...damned telepath! I was gonna have Harry implicate Fudge in the murder of Umbridge, as well as free someone from Azkaban.

I'm still gonna do it! Nyah-nyah-nyah!

 

I actually think a bigger cliche than the goblins thing might be harry inheritence!

In 99% of Independant stories i read Harry obviously needs a means to become independant. How else can one achieve a feit without money?

So option 1. Harry unrealistically inherits nearly all of Sirius money and bcomes lord black, emancipated, and enough money to buy wizarding britain dragon hide armor. It was ok the first 2 times, but now it just makes you think, if sirius was so fucking rich why did he live in a shithole, and why wasnt harry spoiled, and why wasnt the order fully funded with everyone having top of the line shit.

Option 2. Harry inherits the Potter fortune after finding it was hidden from him by dumbledore. If the potters were so damn rich the world would know about it and someone would tell him!!!!

Option 3. Harry somehow inherits money from an old forgotten line. Though i hate this, it is the lesser of the two evils above if incoorperated right. At least they usually make the new family line a centric part of the story.

Another big cliche i hate is harry in knocturn alley. Everyone makes it so if harry puts on a dark robe and a hood everyone will fear him and run away. ITS FUCKING KNOCTURN ALLEY!!! Its the scum of wizarding britain. The place where the darkest and dirtiest of magics are illegally sold. Im sure no one is afraid of a charater that looks like every other person who walks around in that area. And if in your story you dont believe its really that bad, then the area would probly have to be policed by aurors, which means theres nothing to be woried about in the first place.

Another thing i Hate Hate Hate in regards to money is the things hary purchases. We have all established that acromontula silk is hot shit, along with dragon, basalisk, and manticore hide along with anyting else you make up. If it was by ANY means affordable lots of people would have it, people like draco would have vests of dragon hide, and all acromontula silk robes and shit. But he doesnt. Hes known to be filthy rich and even he doesnt hav that shit. So option A. Make the price for this super rare super good equipment MUCH steeper or make many more of the high class citizens own it. It just bugs me that harry is the only one who gets saved by dragon hide in duels when half the purebloods hes fighting should be able to afford it too!

In relation to that top post, it always seems that Harry somehow scores a custom wand, with multiple cores and is all exotic and shit. 90% of the time its once again not much more expensive than a normal wand, and if not it nothing most rich people couldnt afford. Why is harry the only one with a custom wand. Why doesnt Voldemort have a custom friggin wand!!! But no, what gets me the most is often times it doesnt even become very apparent that his new wand made any difference! Wands are important, if you get a new super cool wand at least make it believeable that it was worth it besides "he could feel the rush of power like when he first held his holly wand, but it was such more powerful!"

Also, equipment. Why does it seem that harry also buys all this fancy super cool equipment, but none ofthe rest of the world whos also at war has it? I can understand if its some super cool unspeakable shit hes hooked up with, but come on most the stores he buys shit in in people books is open to the public! at least voldemort and dumbledore should have pimp shit too!!

Another thing i hate is harry becoming uber powerful from books over summer! for gods sake the kid was barley holding on when he had teachers! But now he reads a book and in 2 tries hes got it perfect. Bak a few months prior he had big problems doing shitin many many tried with a teacher and freinds to colaborate with. If you wanna make him anywhere near even voldemort inner circle over summer that best be some kick ass magical book brought forth by the divine powers of Merlin himself!

Magicaly maturaion. When ever harry inherits new cool powers its ALWays when he turns 16. why exactly 16. why doesnt it vary between people. why should he suddenly get parselmagic, magic seing, powermultiplied by 10, empathy, elemental powers and all this shit the second he turns 16. Someone for gods sake come up with a new cooler trigger besides age!

for the sake of not making a 10 page essay im stopping this rant here.

 

Eh, what part of "escaped convict" doesn't apply to Sirius? He lived in a "shithole" becasue that was the Order's Headquarters and he was "safe" there. The whole "Dumbledore keeping him locked up" thing? Yeah, that. Harry, spoiled? When did Sirius have the chance? And the Order not having top of the line shit? Well, what does the order actually do that requires "top of the line" things? They don't need to be fully funded to be top of the line shit, though.

It's usually 16 because Harry turned sixteen during the summer after OoTP and that's when most people kick off their super!Harry fics from. That, and sixteen is a significant age. Oh, look, I can get my license now! Yes! Now if only my mysterious magical maturation woud finally kick in I could drive in my cool car with my cool muscles and kick everyones ass! Really, what superpower fic would be complete with out a cool car? Besides fifteen is such an odd number, who likes odd numbers? :roll:

 

Im sure sirius is capable of letting someone else into his vault like dumbledore or something. If the goblins followed ministry regulations and shit im sure dumbledore can squeeze his way in, and if they dont care about the ministry then sirius being a convict would mean nothing to them and he could sneek in for money. He could transfer it to harry, or have other people get stuff for him. But really, if he bought harry a firebolt im sure he can buy him other cool things.

Also in many independant books Harry finds a way to hide from the ministry and dumbledore without living in a "shithole". If pre-newt harry can do it im sure Sirius can, especially with a vast fortune at his hands.

Also, the ootp is a group fighting against voldemort.Im SURE they would like to have things like dragonhide vests, nice wand holsters, multiple wands, dark magic detectors, and any other inventive magical items you may think of to help in a war. Becuase thats what this is. A war between Voldemort and wizarding braitain, possibly the world. Wars cost money.

 

If, if... this isssue is one of the reasons that people latched onto the idea of manipulative!dumbledore - yes, logically if Sirius can spend his Gringotts money on a racing broom while on the run he can spend more, but that isn't what Rowling writes, so you just have to accept that.

I think this is more a problem with Rowling's writing than with anything else. Yes it's a little farfetched that Sirius just sits pretty is his parents' mouldy old house where he's 'safe' - but we know he is actually rich - the firebolt he buys for Harry etc.

The Sirius's Will plot device is actually fairly logical - at least that something would happen with it. What that is - everything to Harry; money split between Harry, Remus, Tonks etc; or perhaps Narcissa getting everything because she's the only Black who isn't dead, disowned or an escaped criminal is something that an individual author can decide on. Obviously someone writing an indy!Harry is most likely to pick the first. As far as Sirius being richer than Bill Gates goes... yeah it's completely stupid, but that doesn't mean he can't still be reasonably rich.

 

Why do i consider the Black Family as rich?

I don't see Lucius Malfoy marrying Narcissa Black without a hefty fucking dowry or somesuch. In any case, he wouldn't dare taint the Malfoy name by marrying into a family of poor wizards.

Now, we never actually know whether Grimmauld Place is a shithole...all we know is that it is in the not-so-nice side of London. I think that if JK calls it a mansion, then that's exactly what it is, and all dirt and disgusting aspects can be attributed to Kreacher not doing his job.

There's another cliche...whenever Harry goes to find his inheritance, they show him having a mansion somewhere with 400 house elves. Apparently, the Black Mansion only needed one, since they used Kreacher's whole ancestry to clean their house, so why would the Potter mansion need 400? Malfoy was pissed when Dobby was freed, he wasn't like "Oh, that's fine, Potter. You see, i have another 399 of the little bastards."

Yeah...so Sirius is rich, but he doesn't really need the money during the time that he's on the run. Sure, in third and fourth year he's buggering around Hogsmeade, but in 5th year he's in the master bedroom at his family mansion, sitting back and relaxing and getting good food every day.

He used owl-order to get the broomstick for Harry, and i would guess that he'd be rather rich if he could afford something that costs thousands of galleons, considering that 1000 was all that the Weasleys needed to start their shop.

 

And as for Grimmauld being in London's shitty side, it probably wasn't always that way. The place was probably where the richest of the rich lived when Black Manor was built centuries prior, but modernization and industrialization later caused the affluent to move away from the city and then the less desirables moved in to replace them. But the Blacks, being wizards and steeped in tradition, wouldn't abandon their ancestral manse in order to follow the wealthy Muggles out. The place looks shitty in OotP because no wizard or witch had lived in it for years after Mrs. Black's death and Kreacher obviously didn't bother to keep it tidy.

 

Cliche: "Usually I wouldn't give you this basilisk armour as it's the last in the world but as you look really scary and just badmouthed the Ministry I'll give it to you for free." I think it was a pretty damn good author who started this but it's getting ridiculous.

And once again, it was RossWorck who started the not-so-scary Knockturn Alley tradition (I think).

 

I pointed this out a while ago, but i've been having doubts.

I've never checked the Lexicon for anything, so i don't know if i'm right or not...but is dragonhide/basilisk hide or whatever actually potective?

I have a feeling that it's just something thought up by fanfic authors to add another "cool" elment to their story. As far as i recall, the only time dragonhide is mentioned is when F&G are wearing it at the end of OotP, and they mentioned that it was all about style, although i can't remember the exact words.

I liked the stance taken by Lord Serapeth in Dakaath with the actual metal armor...that seemed more plausible than dragonhide being invented out of nowhere.