Operator by Case13 - M

[Orm Embar]

Title: Operator
Author: Case13
Category: WIP
Rating: M
Pairings: Listed as Naruto/Hana Inuzuka
Link: The Link (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3592844/1/Operator)
Summary: After years as ANBU officer Mugen, Naruto must remove his mask to work alongside the man who cost him a teammate and a half to save Uchiha Sasuke from himself.

Based on the summary, it isn't a fic I would read. But, for this story, the old proverb "Don't judge a book by its cover." applies. It's an ANBU Naruto fic, but he isn't heinously overpowered. The author fleshes out the role of ANBU, providing interesting tidbits about the role the organization plays, and goes into great detail regarding Naruto's life, relationships, and abilities. It's all very well put together, the author seems to know where he's going with the story, and there are funny moments to boot.

Now that I've finished lavishing praise on the story, I'll list the downsides. The author isn't up front; how Naruto got to be where he is from the hyperactive prankster isn't spelled out plainly. There are flashbacks occasionally. The author uses them relatively often, but they aren't marked. One last thing: this Naruto hates Kakashi. It isn't the sort of disdain you see in poorly written overpowered!Naruto stories where he wipes the floor with everyone. His character is given genuine reasons to dislike him, reasons which are slowly being revealed.

Enough of me prattling. Read it, now. 5/5 from me, and I try not to hand those out lightly.

[Ksai]

I love Fosfor's fics. But reading this one was a torture for me.
I had to force myself to get through the first five chapters. Too many OC and too fast. The moment you get used to those who are introduced in the first chapters - Fosfor throws even more of them.
Very hard to follow them all.

[Dark Syaoran]

Ksai basically stole the words right out of my mind.

[AntiChrist]

It's nice enough, but it does get too jumbled up after a while. I think the problem is that like Ksai says, too many OCs, and too little fleshing out of the characters. Also, at some points the story just doesn't really flow very well and jumps form one scene to the next.

[Orm Embar]

I can definently see the origin of your complaints, but for me it balanced out around chapter 5, where I got a grip on the author's OCs.

[Zombie]

The author of this writes like they have a dick stuck in their eye.

Is the guy a native english speaker, and if so, does he believe in the value of a good beta?

"Not. Sparring. Showcase. Of sorts. Varied weapons, varied ways of fighting." She took a loose stance. "Go."

What the fuck is that?

Terrible, just terrible. I was willing to give it a shot, and that line there had me raging so hard I had to stop reading it.

1/5

[Vesvius]

No, he's not a native speaker.

[GiantMonkeyMan]

-snip-
What the fuck is that?

Terrible, just terrible. I was willing to give it a shot, and that line there had me raging so hard I had to stop reading it.

1/5


There was a reason for that character's shitty dialogue, something to do with the drugs they were on coupled with the injury. Meh, I didn't really understand it. The fic is good, definately 3/5 or higher. A good read.