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Dark Syaoran
04-04-2006, 01:56 AM
Title: Terrible but Great
Author: Dark Syaoran
Rating: M
Pairings: None
Category: Action/Adventure/General
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,140
Published: April 4, 2006
Updated: April 28, 2006
Status: Abandoned
Summary: AU. Part 1 of 3. Tom Riddle hates normalcy and strives for something special. A strange old man in an odd suit gives him that chance.

Link: DLP.Net (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=1545)

Link: PatronusCharm.Net (http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/32/1/)


Checked by Minion, Nov. 19, 2012

DGD
04-04-2006, 02:06 AM
Nice, hope to see the rest soon. :D

Evil Shnitzel
04-04-2006, 02:14 AM
It's too short to be judged but I like it.
Work on your other stories please..... we are waiting.

Dark Lord Rostam
04-04-2006, 02:16 AM
It's good, I'll wait for the next parts to fully judge. It seems you keep putting off your other stories, I think the good people of DLP deserve an update.

Narf
04-04-2006, 03:11 AM
lol, Sya, nice. But you seemed like you were writing a lot more in the IRC room... :D

Promios
04-04-2006, 06:29 AM
Great!
Will it only contain Tom's rise of power? No Harry?

Taure
04-04-2006, 06:32 AM
Love it, can't wait for the next part. Will the yoyo make a repeat appearance?

Dark Syaoran
04-04-2006, 08:42 AM
This story is about Tom, not Harry. Harry will appear later in the sequal and the third story.

Yes, the yo-yo will make another appearance.

Chapter One has been posted.

Aura
04-04-2006, 09:06 AM
Nice. I've never read a Tom-centric story before. I like the way this is going.

Taure
04-04-2006, 09:15 AM
Yeah, if you really have the motivation to take it all the way through it will be really good. Liked the chapter - I think you've pinned down Tom's character just as I had imagined.

One thing though - didn't Tom Riddle have blue eyes? Or is that just my imagination?

Dubrichius
04-04-2006, 09:30 AM
Yeah, if you really have the motivation to take it all the way through it will be really good. Liked the chapter - I think you've pinned down Tom's character just as I had imagined.

One thing though - didn't Tom Riddle have blue eyes? Or is that just my imagination?

Are you talking pre- or post-ressurection? If post, then they were blood red (damn GOF movie, ruining Voldie's appearance with non-red eyes). When Riddle was still a kid, I thought that they were green. Going to check now...

Well, there is actually no definitive colour given for the young Tom Riddle, so I suppose that means that it's whatever colour you want him to have, at least until JK gives him one.

Dark Syaoran
04-04-2006, 10:48 AM
All I could find about his eyes were that they were dark, so I just gave him another trait that matched him with Harry. They look alike so why not, eh?

I'm hoping to keep going through with this. I keep getting more and more ideas for it, so hopefully it wont get too boring along the way.

nonjon
04-04-2006, 12:51 PM
Interesting start. The sheer malevolence of this young Tom Riddle seems to almost support the idea that there's nothing inherently wrong or bad about Dark Arts. They're just the favorite tool of these bad apple kids.

Most young Tom stories try to portray him as a wide-eyed innocent who gets picked on, violated, and essentially goes from good to bad. Of course the few I've read bits of were not Post-HBP. It's nice to see one where he's practically evil from the start.

I think I'll like this a lot more than those drama/angst fest fics where they try to make you sympathize and empathize with poor little Tommy Riddle. I'd rather just see an angry, determined dangerous kid turn in the most feared Dark Lord, than watch a half-blood orphan getting mocked, beat up, ridiculed, and practically friendless. Manipulative, controlling, and malevolent at eleven. This is more like it. There's heroes, anti-heroes, and villains. Glad you're not going the blase anti-villain route.

Any guesses on the length here? When I first saw that 1 of 3 I thought it was chapters but now I see that's stories.

ChuckDaTruck
04-04-2006, 01:45 PM
Extraordinary! You sir, deserve, a PARADE!! Hooray!

digitalstorm
04-04-2006, 04:05 PM
Very good start. Will part 1 be his Hogwarts years with part 2 being about the time he spent after Hogwarts, and with part 3 being when he started his campaign against the magical world?

In any case this has the makings of a superb fic(s)

Mrriddler
04-04-2006, 04:10 PM
A very refreshing take on our favorite baddie. It's also quite canonically accurate, which though I doubt any of us really care, doesn't hurt. It looks like you had done some very impressive thinking in it with the way there always seem to be a motive and explanation for every action Tom makes.

The ambidextrous idea was I think very clever and something I was thinking of just days ago. It's one of those very basic concepts that could be enormously useful in battles but surprisingly few people really take up on it. Splendid work.

Dark Syaoran
04-04-2006, 11:30 PM
Thank you people for the reviews.

I'm not a fan of angsty Harry so I'm not even going to try it with Tom Riddle. I think it was a bit strange that Tom was always such an evil cunt but I can live with that. Him being abused gets old, even if I would have rather seen that in canon for his reason for being such an evil prick.

There will be three stories. The first will probably be the longest, with all his Hogwarts days. It'll definitely have the most back story. The second will be just after he finishes at Hogwarts and goes to work with Borgin until he gets 'killed' against Harry. This will probably be mostly him traveling and near the end will have his first reign of terror. The third will be him without a body, the things that happen in canon with Qurriell, and him getting his body back in Harry's fourth year. It will also have his second reign of terror and his defeat of Harry, or his defeat at the hands of Harry. I'm leaving that open, I dont know who's going to win.

Well, I hope that sounds good. I'm going to try my hardest to do this.

Edit: Chapter Two has now been posted.

Taure
04-05-2006, 09:10 AM
Another great chapter, keep 'em coming! Is the diary the same one that will become the horcrux? or just a random diary that he'll write notes in? Also, did the boy who cracked his skull die?

ip82
04-05-2006, 10:05 AM
Well, I'll be the first (and apparently the only one) to say that I don't like your characterization of Riddle.

I understand that, taking in consideration HBP, your characterization is completely in canon. I also understand your reluctance to write much angst and mush and describe a little sniveling Tommy getting beaten over and over again.

But the fact remains that having Riddle abused by muggles in some way is the only logical way to explain his hate for them. Rowling definitely screwed this part up, probably in her wish to clearly define good and bad guys (so that children wouldn't get confused), but that's not an excuse for a serious fanfic writer (like you are).

Like this, Riddle seems simply born like a little evil sociopath. And while evil sociopaths can be fun from time to time, irredeemably and completely evil characters are not what I'm attracted to in fiction. They are OK in one shots or in parodies/humor/bash fics (your pyromaniac!Harry and Ginny kill-off thread are examples of this), but having a character like this as a main protagonist in what appears to be planned as a serious multi-part epic will get boring pretty soon IMO.

Riddle's character put aside, I'll lay off my final opinion on this story until I see what you have planned as a plot in Hogwarts (and how you set other characters from that period). Many authors screw up their AU stories because they fail to think of any meaningful plot, on level with Rowling's plots from canon books. I hope you have some real plot ready, other than stupid prank wars and endless character interaction between 11 year olds... or at least, that you plan to fly over Riddle's Hogwarts years and describe only the most important events.

So, Iíll keep watching this, as long as you keep writing :-)

Taure
04-05-2006, 10:17 AM
I disagree, I think Tom Riddle has plenty of motivation to be a nasty guy (I wouldn't call him evil just yet).
Having no father figure will mean that he will lack discipline and having no parents at all will mean that he's never had any affection in his life. This may have caused him to close off and not wish to be with other people (as shown in the story).
Due to a lack of affection, he also probably lacks a certain amount of empathy, therefore allowing him to perform bad deeds without making him feel remorse.
I believe that Tom Riddle didn't turn "fully" evil until after he made his first horcrux, which he made not out of a lust for power, but out of fear of death. His lack of empathy was what allowed him to not mind usig such a violent way to make himself immortal.[/i]

Mrriddler
04-05-2006, 11:23 AM
I kind of understand your point, IP but it's not quite that bad. For someone like Riddle, he doesn't really need what we might consider "legitimate and good" excuse to turn evil. Simple distain shown by others around him, lack of parents, a unnatural thirst for power and willingness to do whatever it takes are more than enough reason.

I think there's great truth in showing that a human being can be essentially born evil. Not sure about others but the way I see him/like to see him as someone dark who never bothered with making the choice of trying to be good.

I do think in the very conception of Voldemort, he could be seen as someone being born evil or at least evil from a very young age. This is not saying that Riddle's evilness was inevitable which is what I think you were truly afraid of, IP. But I think there's a difference between these two concepts in that in the former Voldemort had the "choice" to reject the dark persona set up for him. What happened was that he never chose to and therefore LV became the culmination of an almost natural descent into darkness.

Of course, you are still right. It is somewhat dangerous in trying to write a darker conception of Riddle, but I think DS would be up to the task. 8)

Evil Shnitzel
04-05-2006, 11:40 AM
Hmm Syoran you have a mistake. Riddles mother was witch. You wrote that she was muggle.

Taure
04-05-2006, 11:46 AM
Yeah but Tom didn't know that she was a witch. At the time he presumed that she was a muggle and his father was magical as he assumed that if his mother was a witch she wouldn't have died.

ip82
04-05-2006, 11:49 AM
I do think in the very conception of Voldemort, he could be seen as someone being born evil or at least evil from a very young age. This is not saying that Riddle's evilness was inevitable which is what I think you were truly afraid of, IP. But I think there's a difference between these two concepts in that in the former Voldemort had the "choice" to reject the dark persona set up for him. What happened was that he never chose to and therefore LV became the culmination of an almost natural descent into darkness.

No, what actually I don't like is tendency to make any character completely evil or completely good. These two concepts are just imaginary categories, designed to roughly describe certain actions and decisions that people make. I don't beleive that any given person can be truly the epitome of either evil or good.

That's why Rowling's chief villian, Voldemort, is such a weak character, compared to, say Darth Vader. There is simply not a good bone in his body, nor some distinguishing personal characteristic that would give him an ounce of humanity. He's portrayed simply as a irredeemable boogeyman to scare off 11 year old children and that's that. The concept of Riddle being abused and twisted in his youth was the only thing that used to give canon!Voldemort even a sparkle of humanity (aside from him hating his true name). If you take that away, you get pretty bland character, a scarecrow uber-villian without any sort of internal conflict or struggle.

That's the same reason why I also hate saint!Dumbledore and like manipulative!Dumbledore stories so much... Making the old man loony or gray or plain evil behind his mask simply paints another dimension to his character and makes him more interesting and/or realistic.

Same goes for Riddle - he needs a love interest or some larger ideal or some psychological conflict (split personality) or abuse or some personal quirk or anything at all to move him away from bland evilness/ambition/sociopathy he had displayed so far.

Taure
04-05-2006, 11:55 AM
It is my belief that Tom wasn't evil until he split his soul. After doing that, he was more prone than ever to darker emotions and therefore became evil.

Just because he wasn't physically abused doesn't mean that he didn't have a hard childhood. The fact that his mother could have lived had she only used magic to help herself means that she didn't care enough about him to carry on living - it is this fact that makes harry feel sorry for Voldemort in HBP.

I would say that by the time the HP books come around, yes Tom Riddle has given way to Lord Voldemort, but i wouldn't go as far to say he was always evil. I think what you're doing is confusing a mean, vindictive and bullying child (which Tom is in this story) for evil, which is far more extreem.

Dark Syaoran
04-05-2006, 12:01 PM
I definitely have a plot. Prank wars... you'll never catch me writing shit like that. That stuff might be happening around him, but he just ignores it and goes on his merry way. The war with Grindle will play a large part, as well as his search for the Chamber of Secrets. I'm trying to come up with some clever riddle's for this... might take awhile since I dont think of myself as clever.

He isnt completely evil yet. Yet. He wouldnt take a human life at this stage. He'd hurt a person, but not kill them. That comes later. He will have a love interest. He'll also have several shags on the side.

Note that i'll be touching on the abused thing. It wont be so much as abuse but... he was bullied in his younger years, until the strange things started happening to kids who annoyed him. He'll get the same at Hogwarts, get picked on because he is a loner type. I guess being bullied and having no one stick up for him plays a big part in him turning into a little psycho shit.

ixazncha0six
04-05-2006, 05:03 PM
This story is pretty good. Keep it up.

ChuckDaTruck
04-05-2006, 05:09 PM
Superb. I have NO complaints. UPDATE!!!

(just one actually, what about snakes?
I don't think Tom should get one any time soon, but that's just me.)

Mrriddler
04-05-2006, 05:19 PM
Sorry, I mispoke. Replace "born evil" with born with an above normal affectation for evil then. By my second paragraph, I wasn't actually talking about the story specifically, I was talking more about a more generic conception.

I meant really to advocate that you don't want to take it too far on the other end and come up with "valid" reasons, bordering on excuses, for making Riddle become Voldemort. Doing so makes Riddle too much of a victim. So yes, DS, by all means, show that life wasn't fair to Riddle, that's a great idea, just don't try to make us sympathize with him too much. Btw, I do like what you are doing since we already see something in him that's ominous and suspicious.

I think what you're doing is confusing a mean, vindictive and bullying child (which Tom is in this story) for evil, which is far more extreem. As I admited, I was speaking more of a general conception of Voldemort.

Dark Lord Rostam
04-08-2006, 06:16 PM
The story is going excellently, though I wonder if your'e going to gloss over his events at Hogwarts or write the whole thing out.

Assassinator_of_Dumbledor
04-09-2006, 06:31 PM
Sweet I love the way that Tom is just a little evil but not overwelmingly evil it makes him more of a natural dark lord. I also like the way you have the children behave when another child is injured. Reallity.

Dark Syaoran
04-11-2006, 06:06 AM
Chapter Three has been posted. Mostly filler, a few important points but yeah.

The Sinner
04-11-2006, 04:27 PM
For the first four chapters that was very good. Can't wait to see what comes next!

ChuckDaTruck
04-11-2006, 04:54 PM
Good stuff. I like the conflict emerging with Dumbles.

How long until Tom learns about Occlumency?

Cervus
04-11-2006, 05:47 PM
I'm really enjoying this story. It says a lot about your writing that I've even bothered to read it, non-Harry-centric fanfiction is something I don't usually want to waste my time reading.

I like that while Tom Riddle is not necessarily evil at this point, neither is he some misunderstood child. It will be interesting to see the transformation of Tom Riddle to Voldemort.

Seven years seems like a long time to cover in one fic, and the twenty years the second one will have to cover seems like it will have to be huge in comparison. Then again, I consider going into too much detail my biggest pitfall as a writer. Do you have any ideas of how long you expect each story to be?

I'm looking forward to more. I just hope the evil plot bunnies don't bite you in the arse again and make you focus you attention on something else...

Dark Syaoran
04-11-2006, 07:15 PM
Well, you know me and planning Cervus... I wing it most of the time. No idea how long though they will be lengthy. I wont be going day by day, or even month as that will take forever. There will be gaps sometimes but I'll explain what he did in that time and not just forget it.

The second one will probably have the most length if I go indepth into his training. But yeah... me and planning... heh.

Assassinator_of_Dumbledor
04-11-2006, 11:35 PM
chap three is asome it really chaptures tom's moods I love the way you make the sourting hat think for a second about its choice.

Korrosive
04-14-2006, 01:35 AM
Like Cervus, a credit tou you, this is probally the only non Harry- centric fic i've bothered to read.

Tom's character, at this point I find him to be curious, anti-social, slightly caustic and a little cruel. Not ultimately evil.

Keep going with this but don't draw out first year to much, you still got 6 more to go.

ChuckDaTruck
04-14-2006, 11:21 AM
Keep going with this but don't draw out first year to much, you still got 6 more to go.



That's a good point.

The Sinner
04-19-2006, 07:49 PM
Will you be following cannon in terms of the Slytherin fortune having run dry like JKR stated in HBP, at leasts that what I think she stated.

Dark Syaoran
04-28-2006, 12:07 AM
Chapter Four has been posted in the 'Work by Author' section. Took longer than I thought it would but thats just because I've been lazy lately.

Sinner, yeah, the Slytherin's are broke-ass punks.

ixazncha0six
04-28-2006, 12:56 AM
The chapter is quite good, I like the way you characterized him. He is not truely evil but at the same time he is not the abused orphan we expect him to be, he is just a plain ass. I have a question do you plan on pairing Tom with Aurora some day? Or will they stay friends.

ChuckDaTruck
04-28-2006, 01:55 AM
Extraordinary.

This MAY be the best fic currently in progress. Truly exceptional.

One thing. Sinistra was a Slytherin. (At least as I recall she was)


Anyway, your ideas aren't as "out there" as Jbern's are, but I think you capture the character's in a more accurate way, and your gradual pacing, while still making the story interesting is perfect.

I realized that this may be the best story currently in progress when I noticed I had NO criticisms other than Sinistra.

No flaws with character, believability, plot, interest, etc.

This is frankly better than JK. This is better than HBP and OOTP.


That said, it may also be because no conflict has emerged yet, and we're still getting introduced to Tom as you've written him, so...

But so far he's great. I don't know what plans you have for Tom's first year, but I am VERY excited. 5th Year he releases the serpent.

6th Year Tom tracks down his Uncle Morfin and gets the ring and creates his first Horcrux. 7th Year is plans for his future and avoiding Dumbles (who alluded to trying to catch Tom in the act before he graduated), and building the Diary, his first untraditional Horcrux (Tom released the Serpent 5th Year, but the Diary was made in his 7th according to Canon). It also was the first time Tom broke a major tradition of Magic by making the Horcrux an active object rather than a case.

I BELIEVE Tom found out about his mom being a witch and not his father in 2nd or 3rd Year. Not that hard, considering his mother named before her death.

I guess the first 4 years can be Tom establishing himself as Alpha, because by the end of 4th he was the unofficial head of Slytherin (obvious choice for prefect, and Slugclub leader as seen in Pensieve) and the other 3 years, he established himself as the leader of the School (Headboy.)



I REALLY hope you update soon.

Dark Syaoran
04-28-2006, 05:14 AM
HP-Lexicon never said what house she was in. I was thinking about making her Slytherin but thought that there were already too many main character-type people already going there. Even her name 'Aurora' was only on the draft JKR showed in some interview ages ago for 'Prisoner of Azkaban'.

I think she looked after the Slytherin's once when Snape was busy... or not. I'm not sure. Meh.

I got the timeline all planned out already, when this and that happens, ect, ect. No need to worry about that.

Mrriddler
04-28-2006, 10:55 AM
Riddle using muggle instrument to kick Gryffindor muggle borns' asses. I love the irony in that. Clever use of the yo-yo.

Not sure where you are exactly taking it, but in Tom's time, it's muggle borns picking on slytherins. Are you reversing the roles as a sign of what LV has done or are you keeping it that Gryffindors are bullies which we don't see from canon. I know you might never get to that point, but I thought it would be interesting to see how you view this issue.

Great job overall. I would be very interested to see more.

Crazy1
04-28-2006, 07:08 PM
Now that, I liked; I hope you continue this, have you posted it on FF.net? Dumbledore's likely to blame Tom for the damage to the Gryffs, but this will also lead to Dumbledore's distrust, hence the attitude towards him throughout canon. I also liked how you paraphased some thinks from the books, such as 'what he would spend the next five years searching for', it just seemed to fit.

Assassinator_of_Dumbledor
04-28-2006, 10:10 PM
Now that, I liked; I hope you continue this, have you posted it on FF.net? Dumbledore's likely to blame Tom for the damage to the Gryffs, but this will also lead to Dumbledore's distrust, hence the attitude towards him throughout canon. I also liked how you paraphased some thinks from the books, such as 'what he would spend the next five years searching for', it just seemed to fit.


I agree with crazy1

I love the way you make it all come together.


:twisted:

Dark Syaoran
04-29-2006, 12:45 AM
The stuff between the houses will go both ways. Slytherin's picking on Gryffindor's, Gryffindor's picking on Slytherin's. It'll be a lot worse than it is in Harry's day as well, as you saw.

Yes, I liked the irony of Tom using a yo-yo, a muggle toy. :P

Zeiss
06-11-2006, 04:09 PM
Great story so far, I can't wait for the next chapter.

By the way I've read most of all your work in other places like FF or Ficwad, and I can say I liked them.

Keep with the good job.

ChuckDaTruck
06-15-2006, 06:58 PM
If I give you a nickel, will you update? :D

Litha Riddle
06-15-2006, 08:25 PM
Great story!
I've always been a bit of a fan of Voldemort and I like how you're developing him. It will be interesting to see how you progress with this.

I also thought the yo-yo part was cool. Imagine how those bullies will react when he eventually comes out as Voldemort.
I wonder if he'd seek revenge considering how he does so at the orphanage.

Can't wait to read more.
Litha

Fuegodefuerza
06-15-2006, 11:27 PM
While I like all of your other stories very much, I think that this one is my favorite. I don't know if it is just the fact that you have Voldemort as the main character, or what, but this is a fantastic story.

Update soon.

Death Eater Neophyte
09-06-2006, 06:25 AM
I really like this because not only is tom actually believeable but he actually has a sort of friend which dosnt completely cut him off from humanity

Dorian_Malum_Black
09-06-2006, 10:37 PM
I like the story premise not many stories I've read are centered on voldemort's rise to power, point for originality(sp?). Like I said, love the story, but please update.

Dark Syaoran
09-07-2006, 10:40 PM
Mhmm.

Well, I'm currently writing the next chapter of this. I've got most of it planned out now, as well as its sequel. Many ideas that I had originally have been changed. It'll still be a three part 'series', but it is no longer going to be all based on Tom Riddle. You'll find out what I mean when I get there.

And I dunno when this'll make an appearance on FF.Net. Probably when I've completed a few more chapters.

Ragon
09-10-2006, 05:44 PM
I like this story. Tom being beleivable is always good. Tom Riddle isnt always evil its more of along the lines of he doesnt see it as evil. He sees it as the path to power and being respected, feared, and being the best. THats what Tom wants.
If you update Ill give you a prize.

ChuckDaTruck
09-12-2006, 10:30 PM
You have NO idea how badly I want this to be updated.

One of the best stories in fandom. I see no flaws with it.

5/5