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Lord Supremo
05-14-2006, 10:16 PM
Title: Harry Potter and the Rise of the Amphiptere
Author: Lord Supremo
Rating: M
Pairing: H/Many
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Abused at home the summer after OotP, Harry snaps. Tired of life on the run, Harry decides to hide in plain sight and learns the truth about the Prophecy. Features Dark!Aristocrat!Harry, Manipulative!Dumbledore, and HarryMany
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2939305/1/

I finally got around to finishing a chapter of this story. Only the prologue is up so far, and it's short, but please read what I've got so far and review!

Lord Osiris
05-15-2006, 12:04 AM
You got a good start going on here, i think it would of been far more suitable for Vernon to go out in a blazing amount of pain and burning flesh, but i suppose plain and simple was kinda fitting. Get anopther few chapters up soon then i should be able to give you a far better review.

Dark Lord Rostam
05-15-2006, 12:12 AM
That was not so good a start. It's not so much your writing or anything like that, but that you had Vernon abuse him for NO REASON.

That's what so many depressed!Harry stories have. Harry taking it and getting his ass handed to him for no reason.

Sure, you had Harry kill him, but he was abused like hell.

Find another reason to kill Vernon, not that he was abused. Maybe he was defiling his family name, hid his letters from him, or something.

Cell
05-15-2006, 01:48 AM
Harry got beaten up by Blunt objects everyday.But What does he do in return.Killing but no torturing.should've tortured that Elephant,castrate him,sodomize with the 9 iron(shudders),beheaded him.Done deal right there.

I like the sound of Dark Harry.Hope he shies away from his Gryffindork friends.

Niffler Lord
05-15-2006, 02:40 AM
Its an ok start but a little too short.

CGB
05-15-2006, 10:55 AM
It's a promising start and I'll following it.

Void Sorcerer
05-15-2006, 06:13 PM
This is a very interesting start, and though I would perfer Harry to have done at least had a little fun with his uncle before he killed him, the AK seemed appropriate. I will probably need another chapter or two before I can say for sure but it seems to be going a good place.

MysterioX
05-16-2006, 07:34 AM
The chapter is good and interesting but would have been much better if it was a bit more. Update soon

Lord Supremo
05-21-2006, 06:59 PM
First off thanks to everyone who reviewed the first bit of my story. To address your concerns:

Yes, this is a short prologue. I plan on making the chapters about 7-10 pages each (prologue was just a little over 2, for comparison)

About torturing Vernon: Harry considered it (I alluded to the Crutiatus with "With another [word], he could return all that Uncle Vernon had inflicted upon him, and then some.") but decides that the case for self-defense is a lot harder to make if you torture your alleged attacker first. In this fic, Harry does not instantly go dark, there will be a slow evolution that takes place.

I can see why Vernon's abuse of Harry might seem sudden, but think about it this way: Prior to recieving his Hogwarts letter, for the entirety Harry's life at Privet Drive he was beaten, starved, and neglected by the Dursleys. Then, when came back after his first year, they didnt beat him anymore, but Petunia swung a frying pan at his head, and Vernon threatens to beat him. After the Aunt Marge incident, however, the Dursleys realized that they couldnt get away with pissing Harry off anymore, so they left him alone. But in the summer before 5th year, Vernon showed that certain stimuli (Mundungus' Apparition, the Dementor attack) could lead him to hurt Harry again (Harry was strangled twice the day of the attack). I think that the public humiliation brought upon Vernon by the Order qualifies as a stimulus to restart the major abuse.

As far as Harry's "Griffindork" friends are concerned, Harry will be ditching Ron and most of the Weasleys, but contrary to popular belief, I think Hermione is more loyal to Harry than she is to authority figures and the rules, so she will stay. I don't particularly like Neville, so expect to see him killed sometime soon. Look for the rest of the Gryffindor 6th years to play minor roles, including a few trysts. I think that rounds out the Gryffindors, so I hope that answers your question. Harry will be consorting with Slytherins (big hint who in the next chapter) and some OCs.

Speaking of the next chapter, I wrote another page of it yesterday and am working on it more today, so it should be finished today or tomorrow. Its mostly going to be a "get Harry from plot point A to plot point B"-type chapter, and admittedly, contains a few cliches, but it does establish some elements that will be key later, so bear with it.

Thanks again for reviewing!
Lord Supremo

Lord Supremo
05-31-2006, 01:17 AM
Just so everyone knows, chapter one is now up!

Element
05-31-2006, 03:38 AM
Well, just read and I enjoyed it. Not too sure why though - I mean, its not badly written at all, far from it. Just a couple of problems;
1. Dumbledores letter telling Harry that he could not send or receive any mail except that which had been screened by the Headmaster and sent with Fawkes. While this letter sets the beginning and motivation of an Independent or Dark Harry, I'm not seeing the point of Dumbledore doing this. The motivation, if you wish. Dumbledore is apparently manipulative, not a fool. I'm just thinking that even if he had reason to do this, I'm sure it could have been more cunning.

2. Grand Moff Tarkin on the potential of the Death Star. You reckon Harry will have managed to see Star Wars? I'm not too sure.

3. I thought the power seduced him awfully quickly, but hey, you say it'll be a slow descent into darkness so I guess it didn't seduce him that much. By the way, don't drag out this descent into darkness too much, it'll get awfully tedious IMO.

4. I thought the general politeness of Hopkirks letter was hilarious, considering the circumstances. Nice one.

5. Tevye. You reckon he will have read the stories, or watched Fiddler on the Roof?

6. 49-1 Trial win. No Death Eaters/Voldemort sympathisers in the Wizengamot, not one? Bit strange, considering that to my memory, Harry only just won in his first trial with the two Dementors in OotP (?). Still, perhaps the sympathisers thought that if they had voted with Fudge, it would have been obvious.

7. Fudge, usually portrayed as a bumbling fool. I don't know. I figure that he must at least be a decent politician in order to be the Minister of Magic. Don't you think that, having seen the overwhelming support of Harry in the trial, he would have voted for him? IMO, he'll jump on any bandwagon if he thinks it'll get him support.

8. What Harry inherits. Seriously, does he really need all that? Just a little tired of Harry being a billionaire trillionaire whatever Bill Gates guy. It'll all be perfect however, if you make him use the things he inherits to his advantage. Creatures from the Zoo would make pretty decent fighters in a battle...

9. Albus Dumbledore was glaring down at him with a look of utmost fury on his face. Not recalling any moment in which Albus ever looks at him with utmost fury. Its just not the way he works. Subtle, sometimes firm, reprimandment, perhaps. Albus Dumbledore is not one to lose control of his emotions, practically ever IMO.

I know I've brought up quite a few points, but I did enjoy it, honest. Just think it could be a lot better. Looking forward to the Dark!Aristocratic Harry, and meetings with Blaise. Although I hope we don't become drowned in politics - a lot of people like it, but not my thing. Keep it up.

Lord Supremo
05-31-2006, 04:00 AM
Thanks a lot for the thoughts, Element, you've made a lot of good points.

The letter from Dumbledore, yes, is a touch...random, and none too sly, either, but you'll see why he sent it within the next two chapters.

I'm going to build a lot of foundation for Harry's descent, so it will be slow in that way, but once it truly starts, it will be very snappy.

Great point on the Wizengamot, that totally slipped my mind, although you do have to remember the goblin influence. If goblins threatened Dark families with forclosure on their fortunes if they voted against Harry, he'd win pretty soundly.

I honestly don't think Fudge is that great of a politician. For starters, I'm pretty sure I remember Hagrid complaining about him in Sorcerors Stone, and how he only got the job because Dumbledore turned it down. Then in GoF, something similar was said, except Fudge got elected because of Barty Crouch's son. Also, I think a skillful politician would recognize that a war is generally great for political careers; Here in America, no war-time incumbent president has ever lost office except by way of term limits, and George Bush saw his approval ratings skyrocket to 90% after 9/11. So, really, I don't think he's all that great. I guess that's just a difference of opinion, though.

You are absolutely right that there are a lot of stories where Harry gets hella money and then he does precisely dick with it; I promise this isn't one of them. Similarly, Harry will not being going on a shopping spree in Knockturn Alley where he buys a second, custom-made, wand and enough Dark Arts artifacts to make Voldemort orgasm for a week solid. If building an army were that easy, everyone would do it.

True, Dumbledore hasn't ever shown obvious outward agression toward Harry, but he has been known to get mighty angry with others for lesser sins than killing their Uncles and getting away with it.

As for Harry's knowledge of pop culture? I think he may have read Fiddler on the Roof, as Dudley's second bedroom is filled with not only broken toys, but also a vast quantity of books. Maybe he hasn't seen Star Wars, though.

Anyways, thanks a lot for reading and putting so much into that review!

Element
05-31-2006, 04:11 AM
Not a problem.
You are right about the goblins threatening their families, thats certainly possible but they slipped my mind since they didn't appear to have too much a role in that chapter (Stay calm, Harry). Problem is; Those families could discreetly inform Fudge about threats, and the goblins would never know who it was. Fudge would then attempt to revoke goblins' rights/laws/something, and a civil war or revolt would seem pretty likely. Alternatively, Fudge would know that the goblins had too much power in the economy and would do nothing.

Fair enough about Fudge, it was just that the 49-1 contrast seemed awfully..contrasting.
Its good to hear that Harry will actually do something with his inheritance, although I can't imagine what he would do with all that right now. Good that he won't be going on a shopping spree as well.
Can't really think of anything else to bring up right now, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Sepanto
05-31-2006, 10:43 AM
It has been said that 49-1 is senseless. i believe more believeable would have been 40-10. Despite this, i loved this chapter, do continue

ulkser
05-31-2006, 12:15 PM
good story so far. i enjoy reading it. but why should harry stay at TLC? he owns lots of places...

MysterioX
05-31-2006, 04:19 PM
:cheers: to Fem!Blaise. Hermione siding with Harry's ok, but please no Harry/Hermione. Just try to avoid as many cliches as possible and you will do fine.

Lord Supremo
05-31-2006, 07:32 PM
Harry's idea to stay at the Leaky Cauldron was born mostly as a function of his overloaded mind than a wish for any permanence. Had he thought it out, Harry would have planned to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a night, and review his documents in the morning to find out how to get to either Alphard's Atoll or the Black Castle, and then he would probably move there.

As for Harry/Hermione, I haven't yet decided what their relationship will be, other than Hermione will stick with Harry through thick and thin in this fic. I have a feeling that they may either go out for a period of time and decide they're better off as friends or have a drunken one-nighter that they agree to never talk about, but it will really depend on what mood I'm in when I get there. You needn't worry about sudden declarations of love or chapters filled with "smoldering" looks between the two, though, I find fics like that just plain silly.

I will try to avoid cliches as much as possible, but some are unavoidable, and some will be neccesary. Look for a completely different (I've never read this, anyways) reasoning behind Harry's mistrust for and eventual split with Dumbledore.

CGB
06-01-2006, 02:25 PM
I liked your new chapter. Everything I can think of what was not so good in this chapter was already stated so I'll not repeat them. I hope you update soon.

Fuegodefuerza
06-01-2006, 03:00 PM
Why in God's name must everyone make Hermione Harry's friend? I mean, good Lord! Almost every AU fic has Harry friends of some sort with Hermione, and about 3/4 of all other stories have that also, and probably 1/2 of the remaining are SLASH! FUCKIN' A!

Oopsie, I guess you see how much I absolutely detest Hermione's character from that rant there. :oops:

Anyways, good start so far. Once it becomes more developed and intricate, I will be able to decide how good it really is. At the moment, if you want to know my feelings on the current state of your story, read Element's critique.

MysterioX
06-01-2006, 05:34 PM
Fuegod, I too hate the annoying bit@h she's everywhere but if the author has already made up his mind to keep them as friends....
As for Harry/Hermione, I haven't yet decided what their relationship will be, other than Hermione will stick with Harry through thick and thin in this fic. I have a feeling that they may either go out for a period of time and decide they're better off as friends or have a drunken one-nighter that they agree to never talk about
I see that you have decided them at least on shag :puke: just leave it at that. Just don't see what you see in her.

Lord Supremo
06-01-2006, 08:40 PM
Whether or not they have sex isn't set in stone, whether or not they have a romantic relationship of any kind is not set in stone. Personally, I like Hermione because of her essentially unwavering support of Harry throughout the books. She might suggest that Harry delegate responsibility to authority figures, but when the shit hits the fan, she's always there. Her bossiness and fanatical studying habits grate on my nerves too, and look for them to go away quickly in this story.

To respond to Fuegod, really? The vast majority of fics I've seen that are centered around an Independent/Dark!Harry theme have had Hermione spying on Harry for Dumbledore. If you're talking about fics in general, then of course Hermione is going to remain his friend, they've been each other's best throughout each of the canon books. There are pretty much only three realistic ways for an author to get rid of Hermione if they don't like her 1) kill her (unlikely, considering all the magical defenses Dumbledore must have put around her house) 2) have her betray Harry to Dumbledore (far-fetched, since she has never displayed any animosity toward Harry, or sided with anyone but him when it came down to it) or 3) give her a boyfriend that consumes all of her time until the two start to vaguely drift apart (unlikely, since authors who don't like Hermione tend to picture her as too ugly to get one).

I don't suppose I'll be able to convince anyone to change their beliefs regarding Hermione, and there are some legitimate criticisms of her character, as there are with every character in the series. But do keep those thoughts in mind

Ivy_Snowe
06-01-2006, 10:54 PM
Just read it, torture would have been good for Dursley. I like it though.

ulkser
06-02-2006, 08:13 AM
i agree the comments on hermione. i think hermione doesn't have a role near harry in dark!harr fics.

coupdmain
06-02-2006, 09:53 AM
Wow... Word for word those are my thoughts about Hermione... I just think that people have been too corrupted by fan-fics that they forget the canon characterization.

Niffler Lord
06-03-2006, 01:01 AM
I like the fic but I do feel that you rushed throught the second chapter. Everything just seemed to happen too fast.

Mrriddler
06-03-2006, 02:52 AM
Wow... Word for word those are my thoughts about Hermione... I just think that people have been too corrupted by fan-fics that they forget the canon characterization.

Not necessarily. I agree with ulkser that Hermione has no place with dark Harry fics. As that's what I and many fellow DLP members go for, Hermione isn't exactly on our favorite list. She's someone who might do well in a rule/law oriented society, but will crumble in a free for all melangerie.

Anyways, good story. But wish I saw it in my portkey.org surfing days.

ulkser
06-03-2006, 07:25 AM
Wow... Word for word those are my thoughts about Hermione... I just think that people have been too corrupted by fan-fics that they forget the canon characterization.


YES! we are talking about dark!harry fics not canon oriented fics... i said hermione has no role in dark!harry fics. as this story features a dark!harry, there shouldn't be a stuck up hermione in it.

i just wish the author would change his mind on her.

Element
06-03-2006, 08:00 AM
Come on guys. You can do better than this - the author has stated "Her bossiness and fanatical studying habits grate on my nerves too, and look for them to go away quickly in this story."

I realise that many of you dislike Hermione, but come on - your main arguement against Ginny is her sluttiness and stalkerish tendencies. Take away that, and you've practically got a blank slate. (Nice character development, JKR).

Its the same thing with Hermione. Take away her bossiness and studying habits, and you've got a best friend to Harry, who has arguably stuck by him for the last six years, and has shown loyalty.
Now, I'm not the greatest fan of Hermione either, my like for her is one of those things that I lost when discovering fanfiction. But I just think that we can see how LSupremo pulls her off, and try to concentrate on the story and its flaws/pluses rather than whether Harry gets some action with Hermione.

Edit: And to those saying Hermione has no place in a Dark!Harry fic. Well, no, canon Hermione doesn't have a place in Dark!Harry. But, wait, shit, I'm not seeing a HBP Harry go dark either, especially after he is pining after Ginny and feeling guilty for casting Sectumsempra, not to mention walking into walls because he's too busy tracking Draco on the Marauders Map. This is fanfiction, do with it what you will.

Athenia
06-04-2006, 01:46 AM
I think if any author is willing to ignore the HBP (where Hermione is an obnoxious hormone driven, manic depressive idiot), they could mold Hermione into a likable and somewhat realistic companion for Harry. Apart from her little schnit with the broom Sirius gave Harry (which, although underhanded from a friends perspective really was kind of a smart thing to do) she does tend to stick with Harry through alot.

The main problem with a dark!Harry/Hermione match is how far dark could Harry get before Hermione couldn't deal with it anymore and her character has to become OOC. I mean, Hermione goes around terrorizing House-elfs for something that looks like it MIGHT be similar to slavery without ever checking the facts. How far dark (with all her ideals about right and wrong) would she be ok with? Don't forget (though I did say if you ignore HBP) simply because an AUTHOR of a book (or notes in a book) does something like kill someone, all knowledge written in those notes is obviously wrong and shouldn't be touched.

Sepanto
06-04-2006, 09:31 AM
Wow... Word for word those are my thoughts about Hermione... I just think that people have been too corrupted by fan-fics that they forget the canon characterization.
There is a slight problem... She has no charcter! Take away her bookishness, what else can you say about her that charcterizes her?
Edit:
it seems element said what i think before i got the chance...

Fuegodefuerza
06-04-2006, 10:27 AM
Okay, sorry for making this a Hermione discussion thread. It was unintentional, I swear! Anyways, since you said, Her bossiness and fanatical studying habits grate on my nerves too, and look for them to go away quickly in this story.
I guess that this Hermione character could be bearable. But no matter how she is portrayed, there is always a remnant of other stories in the back of my mind that have Hermione with tons of bossiness and fanatical study habits that are influencing how I view Hermione. I have had numerous bad experiences with people like that, which also slightly make her character unpleasant to me, so I guess that it could be said that I just dislike Hermione as an idea. My mind has been poisoned by past experiences and other fanfics to the point where anytime Hermione is friends with Harry, I just hit back, unless the story is a spectacular read.

Sorry for making this a Hermione discussion and taking away from the discussion of your story, Lord Supremo. So lets all talk about how wonderful and awesome Harry Potter and the Rise of the Amphiptere is.

Athenia
06-04-2006, 11:07 AM
Sorry for making this a Hermione discussion and taking away from the discussion of your story, Lord Supremo. So lets all talk about how wonderful and awesome Harry Potter and the Rise of the Amphiptere is.

Right, no more Hermione talk.


He was sitting on the outside of his family, arms crossed, and wearing a facial expression not uncommon to that of a person experiencing an old outhouse for the first time.

That was great. Really. I realize you can't actually put inflection into reading, but the whole part was such a casual description of how things were that I pictured him stating it so matter-of-factly that after I digested what you wrote I laughed for a good 30 seconds.

I do feel like the whole Unforgivable=instant Azkaban rule needs to be explained away a bit better. I know you need him going dark, and thus using dark spells, but maybe if you used some not known (in canon) dark spell that also causes death but isn't an unforgivable? I really feel like it is the only way he could get around SOME jail time. (Unless you make it like the spiders: ie, Unforgivable + wizard = Azkaban, but muggles are seen - in the eyes of the law - as animals and thus can be excused from this rule given extenuating circumstances) Either way, I think more than a sob story is needed to get him out trouble for AKing someone.

Lord Supremo
06-06-2006, 12:23 AM
I do feel like the whole Unforgivable=instant Azkaban rule needs to be explained away a bit better. I know you need him going dark, and thus using dark spells, but maybe if you used some not known (in canon) dark spell that also causes death but isn't an unforgivable? I really feel like it is the only way he could get around SOME jail time. (Unless you make it like the spiders: ie, Unforgivable + wizard = Azkaban, but muggles are seen - in the eyes of the law - as animals and thus can be excused from this rule given extenuating circumstances) Either way, I think more than a sob story is needed to get him out trouble for AKing someone.

Ya, I never believed that using the Unforgiveables was a direct ticket to Azkaban under any circumstances. My thinking is that its similar to killing someone here in America: If you're defending yourself or someone else from mortal danger, or if you're acting outside your control (e.g. Imperius curse, temporary insanity, etc), then you won't be sent to jail.

Athenia
06-06-2006, 03:44 AM
I guess you could be right. I just figured that they were named Unforgivable curses because, well, they were unforgivable.

Lord Supremo
07-08-2006, 01:49 PM
Hey everyone, just stopping in to say that I updated the story a few minutes ago. Please read/review!
LS

Cell
07-08-2006, 01:54 PM
Repost that thing will you. It's a whole big blob without any paragraphs.

Lord Supremo
07-08-2006, 02:00 PM
OK everyone, don't read it yet, the formatting got screwed up somehow...grrrrrr. I'll have it fixed by the end of the day.

Lord Supremo
07-09-2006, 12:27 AM
Alrite everyone, the formatting is fixed, so please read, review, and enjoy!
LS

Brooklynight
07-09-2006, 12:26 PM
A Good Chapter Overall,

I liked the bit of Grindewald history that you included, it seems that both cannon and fannon both seem to ingore this wizard, since many people alive during the rise of Voldemort and some of his followers would have been around for the Grindewald saga it would seem logical that one would be effected by the other.

Hermione joining Harry seemed a bit rushed though. While she is his best friend and has stuck by him through out the series she dosn't seem like the person to abandon her family for Harry at a moments notice.

Its nice to see that Harry is getting trained by an actual person instead of just reading. Tonks dose this just fine for now but I'm unsure about how useful a junior auror will be for teaching Harry much beyond the Hogwarts curriculem. Whatever Tonks knows it is unlikely that she could successfully teach Harry to be on her level, hey theres a reason we have math majors teaching kids basic trig.

Over all a job well done.

Lord Supremo
07-09-2006, 12:34 PM
Thanks for the comments, glad you liked it overall. Tonks will by no means be Harry's only tutor, for a hint as to who else, go to the chapter "Lord PotterBlack Goes to Court"

My thinking on Hermione there was that she's the type of person who can't stand to be curious about something and not know the answer, so she ran to Grimmauld Place in a similar manner to how she would always dash off to the library to find an answer in the canon books.

CGB
07-09-2006, 01:40 PM
I also liked the new chapter. It's good we now have an explanation why Dumbledore was so angry.

Lord Apophis
07-09-2006, 01:55 PM
Great chapter and I especially like harrys thoughts on wanting to kill. It is always nice to see some background into Dumbledore's character and why he reacts like he does.

Lord Dragon
07-09-2006, 10:06 PM
The last chapter was great dark arts hear we come. I hope the next update comes soon. this could become one of my favorite Storeys.

Ragon
07-11-2006, 10:50 AM
Good Chapt!! i liked the bubbledork history and the fact of the being acutally trained.

One question. How old is Tonks? Like was she finishing Hogwarts when Harry was there or what?

Lord Apophis
07-11-2006, 06:19 PM
Dident Tonks graduate from Hogwarts in 1991 the same year Harry started hogwarts.

Lord Supremo
07-12-2006, 09:28 PM
I don't think it was ever established in canon how old Tonks is, but it seems to be fanon that she was either a 7th year when Harry was a 1st, or that she graduated the year before he came.

SPOILER ALERT!!!





SPOILER ALERT!!!!









Don't worry about her relative lack of experience, she won't be Harry's only tutor. Look in the previous chapter for a hint about who else will help him out.

Lord Supremo
07-12-2006, 09:37 PM
Oh, and thanks for all the positive feedback regarding Dumbledore's history. As short as it was, it took a long while to think up, so I'm glad it wasn't all for naught. If anyone was confused by the part where Dumbledore notices that Harry "was looking and behaving exactly as a young Tom Riddle had, 50 years earlier, upon learning of the vast riches he had inherited as the last of the Slytherin line," keep in mind (now, and in the future) that this story will disregard everything in HBP, except Horace Slughorn and Fenrir Greyback may make appearances at some point.
LS

MrINBN
07-12-2006, 09:49 PM
Short but very interesting. *imitating Yoda* Much potential I see in this one, yes...

Lucas13
07-13-2006, 08:36 PM
its still to early to give my opinion... but that Dumbledore scene in the third chapter just felt... odd, but thats probably because I see him more as someone that does things from behind the stage... and I dont really think Hermione would agree to use Dark arts that easily... but anyway update soon!

Lord Supremo
07-13-2006, 11:04 PM
In regards to Lucas' concern about Hermione, I believe DMX said it best when he said "Talk is cheap!" It's quite easy to agree to do something in theory, but quite harder when it comes down to action. Look for Hermione to struggle more when the time comes to actually begin learning.

Ragon
07-14-2006, 06:38 PM
How soon can we expect an update?

Lord Supremo
07-14-2006, 06:56 PM
I'm honestly not sure, I've got the next chapter pretty well planned out, but when I can find the time to produce it is another question, I'm at USC right now doing a fairly intensive summer program and when I get back home, I'll be pretty swamped with summer homework (goddamn AP classes). So, I'm shooting for before the end of the month, but it may well be until this time next month.

Lord Supremo
08-13-2006, 05:37 AM
Alright, the wait is over! New chapter is up now, this time sans any horrible formatting errors! Go read/review/discuss here!
LS

CGB
08-13-2006, 08:59 AM
Good chapter. I especially liked the end, although I think it's a stupid idea. What keeps Ron from running to the Aurors after he's free? And I don't think Harry can keep him in Grimmauld place. And if he would obliviate Ron, the whole scene would be kinda pointless. Anyway. Good chapter.

Ragon
08-13-2006, 11:29 AM
Torture him to insanity and oblivate him so no one will no its Harry.

I like the end. Ron being tortured by Harry is always good. But were you trying to make Ron like sorta slytherin like? That would never work. Ron is a idiot and he is sorta like Bill engvall's saying Men have 3 basic needs Sleep, Food, and Sex but Ron probably to big of an idiot to understand the last one. In its place is Quidditch

sirius009
08-13-2006, 03:07 PM
I like the whole description of why DD's angry but that's about all that really makes this story interesting to me. Harry gets abused and snaps yada yada yada, gets super rich, DD flips out, Ron is seen as a bad guy, Hermoine's character is overhyped and so is Tonks, it's ALL been done before. As with Hermoine agreeing to learn the dark arts, i understand that she likes/loves harry but come on. This is a character who, IMO, worships DD and everything to do with the light. Basically i just hate hermoine and don't see how she would ever fit in with the kind of harry you have created.

Lord Supremo
08-13-2006, 04:25 PM
Thanks for all your thoughts, guys, I've got just a couple of comments:

To CGB: Yes, it would be rather pointless for Harry to obliviate Ron or allow him to report to the Aurors. That should give you a hint as to what will become of him...

To Dranco: Correct! Ron is an idiot and, if you'll notice, quite un-Slytherin like throughout the chapter. He wears his feelings on his sleeves, and rashly tries to attack Hermione while taking only minimal precautions to make sure he isn't caught. Seems like pure Gryffindor to me.

To killginny009: Overhyped? I hadn't thought I had given much ink to Hermione or Tonks at all. Just to be clear, neither of the two have any feelings for Harry beyond friendship. This thread already has a lengthy discussion of Hermione, so I'm not going to revisit my views regarding her except to say I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

SushiZ
08-16-2006, 08:27 AM
Promising start, i will be watching this story so update soon.

Dark Lord Shabranigdo
08-18-2006, 09:43 AM
Hmm. Mixed responses to this one. Has it been updated lately? The last chapter I read had Ron about to be tortured by Harry.

Still, the suden abuse is a little cliche. What brought it on? Why now, even after the warning that Mad Eye gave him?

Lord Supremo
08-20-2006, 02:32 PM
All will be revealed in due time...

parcus
08-21-2006, 09:01 AM
i think that the first chapter was a bit rushed and that harry was beaten for nothing other than being a "freak" but other than that it's good

Kid Leo
08-24-2006, 11:29 AM
It was pretty intresting. I like that Hermione and Tonks stood by Harry.

Knox
09-17-2006, 10:37 PM
i like it has the right amount of cliche to be good but not overly cliche. BUT the first 2 chapters were a lil rushed but hey it was still good and had me reading still so good job. it has its bad and good points:mid3

Lord Supremo
10-01-2006, 11:23 PM
The Trash Bin? Who on earth put my story here? 4 pages of mostly positive reviews on this thread plus another 186 on FF.net which are unanimously postive (excepting perhaps 3) says Rise of the Amphiptere should stay in its proper place in the Dark Arts section.

In response to those very few of you who dislike its admitted cliches, I have posted a letter on my FF.net profile that I urge everyone to read. Here is the URL http://www.fanfiction.net/u/932243/

Sepanto
10-04-2006, 01:43 PM
I agree! this story is one of the best. it does not belong in the trash bin.

Taure
10-04-2006, 02:02 PM
Generally, stories that have a rating of three stars and below are moved here. This story has a rating of three stars. If you think it belongs elsewhere, I would suggest voting for a higher rating.

Master Slytherin
10-04-2006, 04:02 PM
plus another 186 on FF.net which are unanimously postive


Completely and utterly irrelevant. The whole point in having a library at DLP is to display fics reccommended by members - a lot of popular authors (some with more than 3000 reviews) find that their fics aren't well received here.


4 pages of mostly positive reviews on this thread


While your fans may be leaving positive reviews, there may be others who don't believe it is as good and therefore gave it a lower rating - hence the place in the trash bin.

The whole point in the Trash Bin is for fics that aren't quite to the taste of the DLP members but with a bit of work could improve and will therefore be put back into the main category. So instead of whining, I advise you to address whatever issues people have pointed out and strive to make your fic worthy of a place in the Dark Arts section.


Who on earth put my story here?


A member of the staff, obviously. And no, I won't tell you who it is - that's their call.

Lord Supremo
10-05-2006, 01:12 AM
Valid points, Master Slytherin, however allow me to make these remarks:

1) Seeing as how I've only recieved two reviews from DLP Moderators and Lord Ravenclaw's was very positive, I'll assume that Dark-Syaroan moved the story. In his review, he complained of the prologue being cliched, and left it at that. The review was left after the prologue leading me to assume that he did not read any further. It would seem to me to be a bit premature to throw a story into the pit of "Read at the risk of your own sanity," having read only a touch more than 900 words, especially a highly reviewed one

2) This leads to my second point. Your observation on how only my fans are leaving reviews is keen, but it runs afoul of your other point that "instead of whining I advise you to address whatever issues people have pointed out." For if no one has pointed out issues, aside from our aforementioned Moderator, what could there be to improve? It is a conundrum, Master Slytherin.

3) So to avoid future conundrums, I have a suggestion for the improvement of this site: Require that in order to rank a thread or story, you must leave a message on that thread. Because it really is for the common good that fics be improved as much as possible, and if all an author hears is praise from those who like him, he will continue his ways as others scorn from afar. I suppose I don't even know if it's possible to set up the site like that, but it would be well worth looking into

bizzle
12-03-2006, 09:41 PM
I remember reading this a while ago, and while this story is not lengthy by any means, I was impressed by its content. Also this thread should be moved back to the Dark Arts catefory since the rating is now 4 stars.

Ragon
12-03-2006, 09:43 PM
When was it moved last time i checked this was a pretty decent fic

ip82
12-03-2006, 10:03 PM
So to avoid future conundrums, I have a suggestion for the improvement of this site: Require that in order to rank a thread or story, you must leave a message on that thread.

I don't think there are technical capabilities to achieve something like that. And even if there were, it's pretty stupid; no system can stop people from being dicks.

Dark Syaoran
12-04-2006, 03:03 PM
I didn't rate this story, for one, and I don't have to read it myself for it to be moved. At the time, it had... two stars? Two stars is supposed to be deletion, not just moved to the bin, so you are quite lucky on that count, but it wasn't just because of the stars that it was moved. I remember mentioning the story in IRC and it got some negative response.

Also, obviously the rating has gone up, so it can be moved back out into the library, but I'd rather wait a little longer. No one ever said binning was a permanent thing. I believe I said something similar in a small note under that sticky-list-of-stories.

Another thing, have you re-written the prologue? Because I'll give this another try if you have. :)

The Dark Monarch
04-07-2007, 07:44 PM
FUCKING NECRO!!!

Don't necro threads.

*Bad smack*

Darius
04-07-2007, 08:51 PM
You made a post... Saying you Necro'd. o_O What the fuck.

The Dark Monarch
04-07-2007, 08:56 PM
WTF! I swear to god and on my mothers name that I was yelling at Some noob with a number 3 in his avatar who just necrod this thing!

His name was Dark Magic.

http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=5506