Title: Indomitable
Author: ShaperV
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure/Romance
Status: WIP
Fandom: Naruto
Pairings: Naruto/Multi
Summary: Naruto isn't a moron. Jiraiya isn't a pathetic loser. Kyuubi doesn't intend to die. Three simple facts that will change the course of history.
Link

ShaperV, of Time Braid fame, writes the most super-y Super!Naruto stories around, with all the strengths and weaknesses that comes with. Indomitable's basic premise is that Naruto trains with 100+ clones every day for three years, and comes out as something barely less than a god. Unfortunately, a decent part of this 300 year training period went to developing sexy jutsus. Which he tested on his girl self. :facepalm The squick is irritating and pervasive, particularly a snippet in chapter 4, and a good part of the story seems directed towards building Naruto a harem. It's irritating, because excepting the squick, this could be a very good story.

Clones are everything in this. It feels a bit like a time-travel fic, where the protagonist gets to learn everything, but without the usual plot deflation that goes with unlimited time/prescience. Instead of following the real Naruto, we usually follow one of a handful of super!clones. These clones can't steamroll S-class enemies, although they can put up a very good fight. The enemies escalate appropriately. If ShaperV plays his card right, this could have a really badass endgame. The Hinata/Hyugaa subplot should become a wonderful disaster as well.

If you can ignore the squick, it's a solid 4/5.

 

You know, you aren't making this sound like a very good fic. Everything you're describing makes me want to avoid this fic like the plague. You should only be reccing fics you think are the cream of the crop, not 3.5s. Those go into the Almost Recommendable thread.

I may read this later, but I gotta say, that summary does not make me want to read it. :/

 

This story is trash compared to Time Braid.

 

I actually read this fic a while back, and though it utterly hurts to say it, Luckylee is right. The fic is trash. The premise that the author began with was that you can write a badass, strong Naruto without bloodlines or ridiculous deus ex machinas. The beginning of the story is actually pretty good, because at this point the only changes are as the summary states.

But while there aren't any bloodlines, the author completely abuses the clone technique and makes it some sort of god-mode shitstorm that can level anything (ignore the part about not killing S-classes, it does that too). Combine this with a large timeskip and you go from basically canon Naruto to gigantic AU in a single chapter. And its not a good AU. Every crappy cliche about 'sex techniques' is in full swing, and it seems like it wouldn't matter is Naruto couldn't throw a punch, the amount of time is spent on immature, badly worded sex. It basically solves all of Naruto's problems.

The combat was kind of cool, until you realize that its all a giant asspull and makes no sense whatsoever. In a story like Time Braid it works because of the nature and themes in the fic. Here its just dumb. Naruto learns 'demon' techniques from the Kyuubi (who is an ally) that allow him to do anything at all, including regenerating an entire body from basically death in seconds. And the 'blood clones' which are basically real, flesh and blood copies which can regenerate chakra, making them capable of their own 'clone trees' which each answer to their creators until they get to Naruto. Balance is obviously the foremost concern of the author in this fic.

The writing isn't nearly good enough to make up for all this. Glaring grammar mistakes really broke what little flow there was and there are little mistakes all over the place. Dialogue isn't terrible, but not great either. Attempts to make Naruto and Co. seem smart and sarcastic really just make them seem petty and stupid.

And the Deus Ex Machinas. They are everywhere. If no information had been provided about how to solve a problem, expect the solution to be immediately forced upon the characters with no repercussions or explanations.

This is just a really terrible fic. I don't see any reason to read it, or put it anywhere near DLP. I'd recommend just trashing it and never letting it see the light of day again.

1/5, for better writing and depth than most fics, but cripplingly bad in most every aspect none the less.

 

Fits perfetly in the Almost recommendable category.

Buuuuut, since its put in for review, lets review it:

2/5- and its a guilty pleasure of mine.

Spoilers mostly tagged.

The author has a rather famous prediliction for haremish, and Naruto has his own 3 female member team that in the most recent chapters picked up another one. He's fighting off multiple akatsuki members

Spoiler

Though not winning

at the same time in different places Via the clone mechanism mention by OP. Naruto is working on

Spoiler

removing Anko's tag via mind-blowing sex; which is just silly, though the justification sure has a lot of effort in it.

Its a joke that Naruto's clones are countable, he uses multiple layers of power in his clones, allowing his clones to make clones, to make clones, creating a pyramid scheme of absurd proportions. The author take all of this and adds pseudo tension by telling us what the future portends via

Spoiler

a rather interesting redo of the Priestess from Shippuden the Movie, who portends that the only way they win is if they send the Kyuubi back to its own dimension, as well as the death of Hinata at the hands of her family.

But it feels fake, like a tarp thrown over a spike pit, with a little dirt thrown on top. The tension falls flat.

Pros:
The author uses a fairly smart Akatsuki who have the best logistics officer this side of a pro - starcraft player, allowing them to

Spoiler

attack multiple places at once simultaneously without communication, hitting Gaara, the niibi, and demon country.

So I'm going to continue reading it, and expect that it will actually improve, now that we've gotten past the power-creeping Naruto had to do, and get into the meat of the story. But it won't be as good as Time Braid. Its an interesting read, but not neccesarily a good read.

 

Time Braid was good because even though we were subjected to the usual time loop bullshit, it wasn't in the same tired, old ways. This is just the same tired, Super!Naruto crap that can be found in any of a thousand stories.

This is not Time Braid. Rating: 1/5, because the grammar didn't make my eyes bleed.

 

Yeah, um I really wouldn't have placed this up for review. I mean it's ok if you only want to waste a couple hours, but I wouldn't quantify this as good. To put it plainly, it doesn't really have much going for it. It doesn't have an intriguing plot, nor does it have intruiging characters or even a decent prose. The hentai-jutsu are just lame, the sailor moon style armor is just as dumb as it sounds and frankly as both the combat and non-combat scenes are rather bland I just don't see why someone would go to the effort of recommending this.