View Full Version : [Dead Link] The Deception Within by Random Object (Me) - M

Random Guy
08-28-2006, 11:49 AM
Title: The Deception Within
Rating: Mature
Author: Random Object
Pairings: Harry/Various
Summary: A sly and shrewd Harry Potter was sent to another dimension while he dueled Voldemort. He found himself marooned in a another dimension as a spirit. The situation is further heightened when he is imprisoned inside a person's body. That person is himself.

Edit by Minion, Dec. 15, 2012
Dead link is dead. If you know where to find another copy of this story, please inform the library staff

Evil Shnitzel
08-28-2006, 01:13 PM
Come on man! Protego?
And the battle was too short.... all the training your Harry gone through and he finds himslef trapped in mud.......
The other Harry is satisfiynig though a bit OOC.

08-28-2006, 01:21 PM
Interesting start, but a bit short "epic battle". The rest seems OK, but it is a bit early to judge.

Random Guy
08-29-2006, 12:42 AM
People tend to make Harry super powerful after only a few years of training. I wanted to make the first Harry powerful, but a flawed. It will be HPB compatible, but rest assured it will be much different.

Flaws aside, did you guys think the conversation was interesting? Did it feel rushed or illogical? What about the way I explained magic?

Evil Shnitzel
08-29-2006, 04:53 AM
I skipped the part with the magic explanation, the conversation seemed rush and confused a bit.

Random Guy
08-30-2006, 04:05 AM
Though it is rushed, can you still get the gist of it?

Evil Shnitzel
08-30-2006, 08:10 AM
Yeah...It's not that hard you know

08-19-2009, 03:34 AM
ff.net link no longer works, and there's no sign of author or story from google