The DA Missions by Nonjon - M

[Raijin]

Title: The DA Missions: Agent Toots
Author: nonjon
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/General
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Pairing: none
Status: Complete
Summary: OneShot. PreHBP. Harry and the DA decide it's time to be a little more proactive in the war on the Dark Lord. Chief Counter Intelligence Officer Agent Toots initiates her first mission: Operation Death is Your Friend.
Link: Patronus (http://patronuscharm.net/s/219/1/) | FFN (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3358516/1/)

Eh its nonjon's fic need i say more?

Title: The DA Missions: Agent Furry Fury
Author: nonjon
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/General
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Status: Complete
Summary: COMPLETE. One-Shot. Pre-HBP. Post Agent Toots. The DA have to act and pick up on the Junior DA's, a.k.a. the Order's, slack. Research Director Chairman Granger plans and directs the mission: Operation Tolerance or Else.
Link: Patronus (http://patronuscharm.net/s/218/1/) | FFN (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3564607/1/)

Title: The DA Missions: Agent Miss Print
Author: Nonjon
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/General
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Pairing: None
Staus: Oneshot/Complete

Summary: DA Mission #3: The Daily Prophet has been furthering Voldemort's agenda. It's time for the DA to do something about that. Senior Secretary of Veracity Lisa Turpin gets the call in Operation Roto-Reuters.

Link: Patronus (http://patronuscharm.net/s/217/1/) | FFN (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4568921/1/The_DA_Missions_Agent_Miss_Print)

[vanna]

For some reason, ffnet is giving me a "story not found" error, even though the fic is listed in the Stories Authored section and I can see the reviews just fine. Anyone else having this problem?

[bornagainpenguin]

FanFiction.Net Message Story not found: storyid = 3358516. Sadly, I really think you DO need to say more... For some reason, ffnet is giving me a "story not found" error, even though the fic is listed in the Stories Authored section and I can see the reviews just fine. Anyone else having this problem?

Yeah me. --bornagainpenguin EDIT - added comment

[Raijin]

Hmm...weird I'm getting it as well, and i just read it. Geez...Well yea the story is just another humorous one shot of his i guess. Really I'm bad at summaries.

[nonjon]

Weird. ff.net seems to be a bit picky at the moment. It was real slow to show the story earlier but it was up and got a few hits and reviews. I've not taken it down and can still view it from my logged in area but I get the same "Story Not Found" you two are getting from the public address.

The fic is there. Probably will start showing up again soon.

If you're a member of my yahoogroup you can read the fic here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nonjon/files/One-Shots/TDAM-Agent_Toots.htm

Dunno how long ff.net will take to stop acting like it's not there.

Err... just tried again and it showed up now. Maybe the bugginess has passed. Maybe not.

[Jon]

...Curse of the Shit Eating Immortals...

[ZanyMuggle]

Where does he get this... stuff? This one-shot was fucking hilarious. As usual.

Harry should disband the Junior DA, though.

[DarthBill]

4/5 Just because it is a one-shot.

I liked Malfoy's letter at the end. And Harry's impersonation of Snape.

[vanna]

Heehee, I could read it just fine this morning. Luna was awesome!

[huntedorange]

I really enjoyed this, i was able to read it when it was first posted here, just took me ages to read this review as usual. Think this idea would be much more suited to a full length story but still awesome as a one-shot. 4/5

[mcatrage]

5/5 For Luna, even though its a one-shot.

[Jeram]

Fan-goozle-tastic, NJ!

Plus, you may have just introduced one of my new favorite lines of all time:

“But you’re just children!” Molly Weasley shrieked with love.

Wow - that reminds me of some of the juxtaposition humor I love so very much. In truth, that is the kind of nonsensical rationality I aspire for in my own fics.

Thank, Mr. Nonjon, Thank.

You.

-J

[Dark Syaoran]

Meh. I give this a three out of five. It just wasn't up to his usual standards. A few things made me laugh but mostly, I just stared at the screen wondering, "What?"

Worst story he has ever written, yet as it's still decent, it shows just how good his stories normally are. Maybe it really isn't that bad, but compared to his other works, it makes it look worse than it is. I don't know.

[Antivash]

Meh, this one I didnt like. Most of his other is far better. Really, i didnt find much about it amusing. I dont deny its an interesting concept and well written, but not my style.

2/5

[Dressed in Black]

This is so amazingly great just like everything else you've written!! Gosh, I love it, plz coninue the storty

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5/5

[deathinapinkboa]

Nonjon, you are a god among people who sit at their computers reading and writing fanfiction.

[Amerision]

Meh. It was funny in a way, but it wasn't up to usual standards.

3/5

It was, as you said, very nonjon-ish.

[Rain]

I found it amusing. Wasn't tempted to ROFL, but I was laughing, and that's definitely appreciated. =)

4/5

[TripticWriter]

I liked it, make me smile in the morning which is a really difficult things to do:D .

I give it a 4/5.

But one question: Will you become immortal even if it means eating shit?

[nonjon]

I just edited the first post to include the link and information to a second "DA Mission."

In the same sort of attitude as the first, but with less shit-eating.

Here's the specifics of the second one.

Title: The DA Missions: Agent Furry Fury
Author: nonjon
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/General
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Status: Complete
Summary: COMPLETE. One-Shot. Pre-HBP. Post Agent Toots. The DA have to act and pick up on the Junior DA's, a.k.a. the Order's, slack. Research Director Chairman Granger plans and directs the mission: Operation Tolerance or Else.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3564607/1/

[thapagan]

Cheers. another nonjon gem.

[deathinapinkboa]

Funny. I didn't like it quiet as much as the first, but it was still very good.

[Mindless]

It's damn good. KKK!Harry is a new one.

[Snarf]

Even though I couldn't really get into your first story (I tried to laugh, it's a Nonjon fic, but it wouldn't come), this second one was hilarious. I loved the rhetorical question scene and how he led hundreds of people by the tips of their noses.

@Mindless- Hah, A KKK!Harry. I would love to see someone right one of those.

[thisperson]

The second one was epic, full of lulz.
I loved the Crookshanks scene *meow*
The first one also had its moments.
Although it wasn't enought to have me laughing like crazy, something many of your works are able to do.

I am wondering exactly what the DA does, our look into their meetings were strange to say the least.

The next should include an explanation as to the DA's activities during meetings (something that does make sense)

Hopefully more of these are on the way.

[Paravon]

I love the ordered insanity you have made the DA into.

4/5

[runghen23]

Really loved this one. Pity that it's only a one-shot.

[Korisovra]

Fuck! You necro'd for *THIS*?!?!?

[Hypodermic]

Fuck! You necro'd for *THIS*?!?!?

I'm glad he did, Otherwise I would have missed it. It's hilarious

[Xantam]

Ok despite the fact that Library threads are essentially allowed to be necroed, you do realize that the last post was four months ago.

[Hypodermic]

Ok despite the fact that Library threads are essentially allowed to be necroed, you do realize that the last post was four months ago.

Oops, I forgot to check the date on the last post. Sorry

[Tinn Tam]

Heh, as he said, necroposting isn't a problem in the library -- mostly.

Anyway, I wanted to congratulate nonjon for having the first one-shot translated into French (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4481807/1/The_DA_Missions), by some author named julielal. Not sure you were aware of it, since you don't mention it on your profile, but then again the translation was only posted today.

At least it got me curious and I read the translation, it's good but not great; in a few places the writing was awkward, with a lot of anglicisms and approximative grammar (although I'm extremely picky in French so maybe an average reader wouldn't have been hampered by those). Still, it was readable and accurately translated which is a lot more than you can say about most translations. She even added a few lines of her own to explain/replace the un-translatable jokes, and she did it rather smoothly.

On to the actual review: I loved the way you wrote Luna. When Voldemort couldn't detect any lie when talking to her, I wondered whether it was due to her skill at Occlumency or the fact that she half-believed in what she was saying -- I'd rather it would be the latter, to tell the truth. Makes her that much more interesting. Then again, that wouldn't really work with her role as an agent; Luna might be crazy, but she's consistent in her craziness.

I'm not terribly receptive to humour/parody fics in general, so I won't give a rating, but still... nice Luna. :)

[Korisovra]

Title: The DA Missions: Agent Miss Print
Author: Nonjon
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/General
DLP Category: Humor/Parody
Pairing: None
Staus: Oneshot/Complete

Summary: DA Mission #3: The Daily Prophet has been furthering Voldemort's agenda. It's time for the DA to do something about that. Senior Secretary of Veracity Lisa Turpin gets the call in Operation Roto-Reuters.

Linkage: Patronus (http://patronuscharm.net/s/217/1/) | ffn (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4568921/1/The_DA_Missions_Agent_Miss_Print)

We've been suffering from a lack of decent humor fanfiction for while now, and finally, someone writes something to take care of the deficiency. The DA series is amusing as a whole, so if you haven't read the other two, you might want to.

4/5 and a fond hope that you'll write more nonjon.

[TehLicha]

Um your link doesn't seem to work.

Try this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4568921/1/The_DA_Missions_Agent_Miss_Print

[Moeed]

Nice little Eid gift thanks man.
4/5

[AntiChrist]

First of all I don't think the link works properly. (Oops. Too late.)
It was quite amusing and one of the few humor fanfictions written in recent months. However I didn't find it to be as funny as the previous two installments, but nevertheless made for a nice laugh. The mission also seemed to be more vague and less clearly defined and I think that took away some of the humor. I think that if more parts of the mission itself where shown, it'd have had more impact. Good Job nevertheless. 3.5/5

[Dark Lord Rostam]

A couple lol moments, but nothing spectacular. 2.5.

[Poytin]

Yeah a couple of chuckles but not much was really surprising. Read the first couple of jokes and could basically guess most of the other jokes. In other words this fic was predictable for me. 3/5

[Goddessa39]

Just read it. Was as awesome as I was expecting & hoping, so 5/5!

I hadn't expected another DA Mission but was pleasantly surprised.

[nonjon]

MERGED the Miss Print thread with this one.

Made more sense after it was suggested by Ellisande.

[Ellisande]

Why don't you just merge the other post with this one?

And, for the first time, I feel the need to say that I wasn't amazed by this one. It had a bit of humor sure, but I was sadly disappointed by the lack of real... humor to it. I found it rather predictable, vague and just not as funny or engaging as your other work has been.

It just seemed bland. 3/5.

Edit: I actually preferred the separate threads. This one rates a 3/5, the other ones rate 5/5. I read them again before I read this one.

[Janus]

Wait, Miss Print went up yesterday? >> Indeed...

Anyway, 5/5 here. Nonjon's one of the few authors that can actually make me laugh, and the DA Missions have been just surreal enough for me to really enjoy them.

[nonjon]

Edit: I actually preferred the separate threads. This one rates a 3/5, the other ones rate 5/5. I read them again before I read this one.There's really not enough comments to justify making separate threads for each of these closely related one-shots. And by one thread for all of them, it's more on topic to compare one DA Mission to another. But feel free to adjust your rating (if you rated this thread 5/5 before, average it to a 4/5 now).

And yeah. Fic ideas frequently evolve and the story I'm writing always ends up different from where it was originally planned, but this one went further than usual.

It sprung because of an idea about Tom Riddle supposedly starting a GLBT support group at Hogwarts. Then it became the concept of mocking and ridiculing Tom Riddle, while never mentioning any connection to Voldemort. After all, it's not like Voldemort's going to want to admit to the connection. Then it almost turned into a Tom Riddle jokefest, where instead of (the anti-)Chuck Norris or Your Mama jokes, it's Tom Riddle.

Then came BajaB's brilliant idea to make it about destroying the Daily Prophet and I had a plot-wrapper for a DA Mission.

Personally, I'm not sure if I like any of the three DA Missions more than the others. And it seems like there's not a consensus on which one's liked most. But I'm not all that bothered by comments that this one is predictable. Of course, I'd prefer it to be original and surprising, but at this point you should have a rough idea of what a DA Mission is going to consist of and allusions to how the DA works.

Plus, I think my humor works best when its spontaneous, whereas this one was nearly 'over-thought' to the point that I can't tell what's funny. (Those 75 minute commutes each way and only a little free time to write meant this was in process for a month and mused on almost as much as a novel-length.)

[Kang the Mad]

The ending was probably the best part.

[Jeez us]

Thought it was alright, definitely worth the read at least. 3/5


Do you have any plans for any more full length fics in the future, Nonjon?

[elvin)]

I liked it, however as others have said it wasn't as funny as your other installments. The Tom Riddle jokes were funny, however I felt that they took too much room up, just a couple would have been fine in my opinion. Overall I'd give this particular oneshot a 3.5/5. That's mostly due to the fact that I found the ending to be on par with your other stories in this series (I use that loosely).

Oh and I found this scentence A stumbling ‘Argus Filch’ burst through a door to Harry’s right without even looking up. “Can you even imagine if Filch had boobs? Check these out…” He finally noticed the other girl in the room and gulped. “Ruh-roh.” to be very confusing until I read the rest of it. Not sure if that was intended or not but I figured I'd throw it out there.