View Full Version : [Complete] Harry Johnson and the Headmaster's Socks by Doghead Thirteen - M

04-12-2007, 12:13 AM
Title: Harry Johnson and the Headmaster's Socks (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3397550/1/)
Author: Doghead Thirteen (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1205826/)
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi
DLP Category: Humor/Parody (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/forumdisplay.php?f=27) or The Alternate's (http://forums.darklordpotter.net/forumdisplay.php?f=16)
Pairing: Harry/Hermione
Chapters: 23
Words: 157,825
Updated: August 17, 2007
Published: February 16, 2007
Status: Complete
Summary: Started off as 'What if Hogwarts was a college' and diverged. Set in the same universe as the Biker Half rewrite. Features liberal quantities of crossover and new characters. Beware, contains superhuman crazy Harry.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3397550/1/


Where do I start? Basically if you followed Ranma at any point in the past on the RAAC you've probably already heard of Doghead Thirteen and his series 'Biker One Half' which put the Ranma series into a blender, add werewolves and Scottish bikers (for no apparent reason) and put the whole thing on purree. If you haven't and are a Ranma fan I highly recommend you give it a shot. It's a sick story that'll have you rolling at its unintentional gaffes and on the edge of your seat wanting to know what he'll pull next....

Now imagine him giving that same treatment to the Harry Potter series...

Now Add back Ranma ...

Then stir in the X-men, Warhammer, Sailor Moon, and Ah My Goddess...

Now sprinkle some Star Wars, Transformers and a bit of :hbp
involving a universe that allows for megacrossovers and an ongoing war between bad and worse ...opps wait, not THAT half baked plot...

Are you beginning to get a feel for the insanity yet? But wait there's more, if you start reading now, we can add in a HEUG disclaimer that takes up half the fic on the first chapter, (more of a prologue than anything else...)

LOL...I've only read the first chapter and I'm raring for more because this guy is so sick he always manages to make whatever series he tackles seem new for awhile, so I'm eager to get back to it--I just had to tell you about it first!



Title: Harry Johnson and the Lunatic Scientist
Chapters: 12
Words: 111,177
Updated: August 3, 2009
Published: September 5, 2007
Status: Complete
Summary: Fits between Headmaster's Socks and Deathtrap Girl. It's summer 1997, Harry's got a job to do, the Blink Dog is in for a Hell of a ride, and Hermione's about to get a look at what life as an interstellar mercenary is really all about...
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3769195/1/Harry-Johnson-and-the-Lunatic-Scientist

Title: Harry Johnson and the Deathtrap Girl
Chapters: 10
Words: 82,497
Updated: October 14, 2011
Published: July 5, 2009
Status: Abandoned
Summary: Sequel to Headmaster's Socks. As Harry and Hermione enter the next stage of the relationship, it's time for them to enter their second term at the Collegium. But there's something rotten in the bowels of Hogwarts, and Ginny Weasely is in big trouble...
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5192964/1/Harry-Johnson-and-the-Deathtrap-Girl

Checked by Minion, February 9, 2013

The Silent Knight
04-12-2007, 08:43 AM
My God, this guy is out of his mind. I love it. It's great. Completely mad. I wish I was a mad, hippie, stoner biker.

04-12-2007, 05:30 PM
This must be one of those stories you have to 'just get', cause I don't.


04-12-2007, 07:13 PM
This must be one of those stories you have to 'just get', cause I don't.


I'm so with that. For the people that get this, it might be a good story. For me, a person that just doesn't get it, it still wasn't bad. I just probably missed half the main points of the story thats all. 2.5/5

11-03-2007, 02:49 AM
I have just found this story now, and it's actually an interesting crack-fic. The author doesn't give a damn about reviews, and just writes for fun. It shows.

The negatives: Abused Harry. Friends with Hermione and (Sort of) Ron. What-the-fuck crossovers. Sith Harry. Super harry. HP universe fucked up beyond recognition. Lots of technobabble. Lots of OCs.
The positives: What-the-fuck crossovers. Psychotically insane Harry. He kills people. Dursley abuse makes sense. Complete. Good Grammar/Spelling. Original plot.

It's worth a read if you have nothing else to read.

And using Lavender as a sex-toy I haven't really seen before.

11-03-2007, 09:01 AM
i umm don't get the story... but lavender as a sex toy is cool hahaha

The Fine Balance
11-03-2007, 09:28 AM
I have no idea wth this is all about, but this really doesn't belong in the Trash Bin.


11-03-2007, 09:39 AM
I agree. I've never read half the stories that is crossed over with this, but it's fun.

I don't actually think that there is anything not crossed with this. If I don't see something mentioned, I still assume that it is in there and just doesn't get any air time.


11-03-2007, 03:34 PM
It's very well written for so many crossovers. It's very humorous. I liked it. 4/5 for me.

Edit: I felt like editing this. I'm around chapter 10 at the moment. I really like the story, despite it being with so many crossovers. And the chapters are pretty long, and very well written. I haven't noticed any spelling mistakes either. Of course, it also has apostrophe's up the wazoo, more than you can count. In any case, I change my rating from a 4 to a 4.7. It has long chapters (which I really like stories having). Good find, definitely should be in the library, in my honest opinion, although other people are going to think differently.

02-10-2008, 03:02 PM
hillarious! 6/5

02-11-2008, 07:28 PM
If you can roll with the insanity, then this fic is good. Otherwise, it's not good. What I like is that the guy is plainly writing for fun, and doesn't let simple things like "continuity" or "reader reviews" get in the way of whatever he wants to do.

4/5 for me, but most people would probably give it 2/5.

12-21-2008, 01:06 AM
In all honesty, I am now addicted. It's hilarious and well written, the author cracks me up, and I like how Harry is NOT the most powerful being in the universe--its a welcome change.


12-24-2008, 12:48 AM
I recently discovered Doghead's stuff, and I have to say, the levels of enjoyment I get out of it are ridiculous. It's a badass Super!Independent!Sociopathic!Gun-wielding!Assassin!Sith!manwhore!Harry... who is by no means the most powerful being in his universe, and in fact spends about half of his time trying to fix epic fuck-ups that other people have perpetuated and paid him to fix... this is not a Harry who does a lot out of the goodness of his twisted heart, and goddamn if he doesn't work. Add to this that I don't think I've read a better executed crossover universe, and I have to give this a solid 5/5.

12-25-2008, 06:19 AM
Wow. I never thought I'd see a fanfic that had both HP and Artemis Fowl. This is better than crack

02-27-2009, 06:34 PM
okay, i honestly missed this stuff even if i read something by Doghead Thirteen a while ago.
Now i can understand why some people say this is shit, but honestly if you enjoy the way he writes parody (and that is strictly a matter of taste) you'll get at least an evening full of laughs out of this.

If you don't enjoy over the top parodies then stay far away because this will have you foaming at the mouth :p

Psychotic Cat
03-01-2009, 05:05 AM
I can see how it would be popular, it follows the wildly popular method of loading the protagonist with endless things the author sees as "awesome" and then having them "pwn" any characters the author dislikes (who will of couse be quite out of character in order to make "bashing" them easier).

Sadly, as I did not find myself imagining myself as Harry the story did not have me squeling about how awesome I am and how much I "pwn" everyone, it was simply a pain to read, especially the technobabble, honostly that stuff was just horrible.

I'm happy for anyone who 'gets' this as it seems they have great fun, but I sadly just can't see it.

03-08-2009, 06:20 AM
It took me several google searches and some hard thinking; (I've just got back from an aftrer ball party) But I finally 'got' enough of it to laugh myself silly over.
Excellent grammar, spelling and a good sense of showmanship, I felt it read like he was performing it as a monologue which is unique as far as I am aware.
For what I understood - 5/5

03-08-2009, 11:18 PM
Just how many crossovers are in this thing?? O_o

03-10-2009, 12:15 PM
too many unless you are a true geek.
One good thing is that he "tries" to explain the crossovers to some extent in the conversations, but even i (who has been addicted to sci-fi for nearly 20 years now) don't understand every reference, some of them are simply too obscure for the normal person.

As i said, you either take those things in stride, or you might as well not read it.

03-19-2009, 06:08 PM
I think its brilliant, I spend more time choking on my water while trying to drink and to read at the same time than ever before...
Well, the only story that tops this one in hilarious insanity and fun is 'Make A Wish', but that is pretty damn near impossible to beat.
I give it a 4.9

04-20-2009, 10:43 AM
The most amazing thing to me about this series (Lunatic Scientist just needs some touchups on the final chapter, and the third story has started) is that there's some surprisingly heartfelt bits in the middle of it. Just wait 'til you see the end of LS.

And Hermione in BDSM manacles (arm/leg) and collar is win =)

04-20-2009, 02:56 PM
The most amazing thing to me about this series (Lunatic Scientist just needs some touchups on the final chapter, and the third story has started) is that there's some surprisingly heartfelt bits in the middle of it. Just wait 'til you see the end of LS.

And Hermione in BDSM manacles (arm/leg) and collar is win =)

...Is this guy updating somewhere other than ff.net? Otherwise, LS doesn't seem anywhere near complete on ff.net, and the 3rd part isn't posted there.

04-20-2009, 03:50 PM
Calum Wallace (doghead thirteen) is posting it on the Caer Azkaban yahoo group.

Harry Johnson and the Lunatic Scientist chapter 11., Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:36 am : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CaerAzkaban/message/80189

04-20-2009, 09:22 PM
The fic which spawned this is so unbelievably awesome I think I just came in my pants. The revelation in the last chapter with his daughter (not the spanking incident I'm not really into incestuous S&M) is definitely up there with most awesome fanfiction EVER.

Superb I cannot wait to start reading the spinoffs. Without even a shred of doubt 5/5.

04-27-2009, 04:30 PM
Hermione in BDSM manacles (arm/leg) and collar is win =)No, it really isn't. Go fap to some bondage porn if that's what your looking for, but I thought this was supposed to be a semi-decent fic, not a contrived bdsm porn story.

I used to be an enormous fan of this series. Now... I'm finding it fairly disappointing.

Currently the author seems to be incapable of doing anything other than jumping continuously from some tepid description of Hermione in fetish-wear to another huge list of random shit he's nicking from such a huge myriad of other sources its impossible to keep track.

Yes, he's got a vast imagination, good for him, but if he could try to focus on just a few of the huge number of characters he's introduced it would make the fic feel marvelously more consistent. Instead the Harry Johnson series feels like something I could only appreciate if I was dropping a huge amount of perception altering narcotics.

I hope he manages to pick it up soon, and for fucks sakes stop with he Hermione obsession.

2/5 for the past 3 chapters.

10-02-2009, 02:56 PM
No, it really isn't. Go fap to some bondage porn if that's what your looking for, but I thought this was supposed to be a semi-decent fic, not a contrived bdsm porn story.Her reactions to things are better than any PWP fic.

I'm continually amazed that a self-described "hairy scottish git" writes some of the most poignant romantic moments I've ever seen in fanfic, all in the middle of an epic self-indulgent somewhat-crack fic.

But then I'm a Harmonian (much as I know it's blasphemy here) so I'm glad he's not stopping with the Hermione obsession -- it's completely confirmed, now.