TO CREATE A SENTENCE, FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS:

Choose the month you were born in:

January: I danced with;
February: I loved;
March: I slept with;
April: I masturbated thinking of;
May: I kicked the shit out of;
June: I wanted to marry;
July: I sang to;
August: I had a romantic, candlelight dinner with ;
September: I jumped like a mad beast over;
October: I flashed my privates to;
November: I shouted at;
December: I escaped running from.

Pick up the day you were born:

1: A clip;
2: A hairy monster with a single brow;
3: A stolen mobile phone;
4: A pot filled to the brim;
5: A Gangsta';
6: A Japanese chick;
7: An old Lecher;
8: Your father;
9: My best friend's boyfriend;
10: A Squirrel;
11: An mp3 player;
12: A Cucumber;
13: George W. Bush;
14: A plush toy;
15: A Seagull;
16: A letuce;
17: Your mother;
18: Hilary Clinton;
19: A giant mushroom;
20: A sweaty, dirty sock;
21: A goldfish;
22: A baby;
23: A fireman;
24: My 'hawt' neighbor;
25: A baseball bat;
26: A trash bin;
27: A full, used condom;
28: My most hated teacher:
29: A permanent marker;
30: The Kama-Sutra;
31: A Tree in a park.

Pick up the color of your shirt:

White: 'cause I'm retarded;
Black: 'cause I love him/her/it so much;
Maroon: 'cause he/she/it had just broken up with your cat;
Shirtless: 'cause my nipples were stiff;
Pink: 'cause I was late to the 'American Idol' casting;
Red: 'cause a voice told me to;
Blue: 'cause I'm sexy and I do whatever I want;
Green: 'cause I wanted to forget those wonderful times with your dog;
Purple: 'cause your odor made me do it;
Grey: 'cause I'm Gay;
Yellow: 'cause someone told me to do it in exchange for sex;
Orange: 'cause I mistook him/her/it for a T-Rex;
Others: 'Cause that's how I am

Mine: I Kicked the shit out of a hairy monster with a single brow 'cause a voice told me to.


EDIT: Shit happens. I messed up with a translation in the tiltle, now the shit is all wrong. Don't mind it though.

 

I masterbated thinking of a Seagull 'cause my nipples were stiff.

No, seriously.

 

I slept with The Kama-Sutra 'cause I'm sexy and I do whatever I want

 

I kicked the shit out of a trash bin 'cause someone told me to do it in exchange for sex.

Nice to know.

 

I'm retarded, but I know how to use a cucumber on my bare privates.

(And what else do I really NEED to know?)


I flashed my privates to;
A cucumber:
'Cause I'm retarded

 

I masturbated thinking of a permanent marker 'cause my nipples were stiff.

 

I kicked the shit out of a cucumber 'cause he/she/it had just broken up with your cat.

Ok then...

 

I danced with a fireman 'cause I'm gay.

I don't like this game ;_;

 

I wanted to marry a hairy monster with a single brow 'cause I wanted to forget those wonderful times with your dog.

Oh, god dammit.

 

I flashed my privates to George W. Bush 'cause your odor made me do it.

Rather senseless...

 

I sang to George W. Bush 'cause I love him/her/it so much

right....

 

I slept with a plush toy 'cause I love him so much.
...
....
.....Pure, unadulterated, Truth.

 

I wanted to marrry The Kama-Sutra 'cause I'm sexy and I do whatever I want.

 

I masturbated thinking of Hilary Clinton 'cause I'm sexy and I do whatever I want.

 

THAT's twisted.
You pervert.

 

This ^^

Creepy D:

 

I jumped like a mad beast over a full, used condom 'cause I wanted to forget those wonderful times with your dog.

...

...

Interesting.

 

*Gasp*

We have the same birthday!